Shayba's P.O.V.
The next day in the morning I woke up in a constant gloomy feel. The damn incident was starting to make me vexed again, so I just performed my ablution and then prayed Fazar's prayer. But my mind was restless and devastated. To be honest, Rahat's eyes on my figure molested my heart more than his stupid proposal. I couldn't for once forget the way he looked at me and complimented as if it was my body he wanted and craved for all the time. He never recognized the person inside me, rather kept nagging to marry me by getting overwhelmed with my beauty and family opulence.
And the most pathetic part is my mom never supported me in this. It was more important for her to save her friendship than to get her daughter married into a nice family who will adore and appreciate her. She never asked me what I wanted, rather always tried to blackmail me emotionally. I wanted to yell at her and allege to dad about her activities.
After prayer, I opened my Quran and started to read it. "Don't let your hatred for a people prevent you from being just. Be just. That is nearer righteousness." (Quran 5:8)
This verse again washed away all my worries, grievances and distractions like before. I wasn't angry or upset with mom anymore, on the contrary, it felt like she should be clearly and wisely informed about my perspectives and demands in my own wedding.
How amazing is that? Whenever you are struggling with your mind, you'll find a verse in Quran that just suits your situation perfectly and gives you mental peace. Indeed Allah is the best of all knowers.
Then I went to the study room and kept studying for the whole day as it was almost time for the final exam. In the afternoon when Annaba came to me jumping and started to shake my body horribly. "Sis, sis, sis!!!"
"What do you want?"
She continued to shout in my ear, "Let's go shopping! Let's go shopping! Let's go shopping!!!!!!"
"Calm down for Allah's sake...! Why? What do you need? Haven't I brought enough things for you from France?"
"I need to buy a new pair of shoes.." she said throwing a puss-in-boots look towards me.
"I'm not going. I'm tired."
"Pleeeeeeaaseee sis! You are the only one who cares for me. Please don't say no!"
"Argh okay Fine. Let's go. I'm tired too for studying the whole day."
"Wooooo!! I love you!!!"
I huffed being pampered. Then called Nawsheen to meet us in the mall. It's been soooooo long we don't get to meet! Though I talk to her almost everyday, but it's nothing at all if two besties can't see each other, is it?
We walked together towards the mall chilling in the afternoon light. It's been months since we hangout like this.
Entering the mall together and happily laughing at our own jokes and sarcasm, we roamed around the whole mart. I bought some headscarves and then we three kept rambling for Annaba's one pair of freaking shoes...
Suddenly I realized that a gang of guys are following us since our entry to the mall. I looked back clumsily and found three to four guys directly looking at us laughing and whistling. I do not get scared easily. But their chasing us and teasing added fuel to the fire in my mind.
I looked at Nawsheen and Annaba and say,"Stop talking so loud and shut your mouth."
"What? Why?"their smiles stopped in an instance.
"Don't look back. Some guys are pursuing us ever since we entered the mall. So let's get out of here guys."
"Heeeehhh???" Both of them try to take a glimpse behind.
"I said to look at the front!!"I scold gritting my teeth.
"Yeah. Yeah. Going."
Coming out of the mall, I had to convince these two by giving a cheeseburger treat as I didn't let them do more shopping. We walked to the fast food court while they talked nonchalantly with one another but my head kept burning because of the previous issue. Why are WE the one who had to escape from the mall to get rid of their glance? They were the ones in wrong! Why did we come out to save ourselves from their covetous eyes?
While entering the fast food court,to my utter surprise, I noticed some guys looking at the three of us, with lust in their eyes. Again? I don't understand! We are three hijabis roaming around Dhaka city. What do they even find in us to look at?? Unreasonable tears started to assemble in my eyes while I tried my best to blink back them carefully.
"Shai what happened?"Nawsheen asks me with anxiety.
"Nothing.... It's just I feel like I'm being gulped by some vicious eyes. Let's go back home.. Pleease.. I don't want to stay outside for one more second.."I pleaded.
Both of them stared at me confusingly and knowing that something was definitely wrong, nodded with their consent.
As soon as I stepped in my home,I went to the washroom and pulled the door shut. Realization suddenly hit me hard.
I am not doing the right thing. All of this is MY fault. I AM the one who is attracting guys to look at me. I AM the one who wears hijab and loose dress but puts on makeup to look beautiful. I wear colourful fashionable dresses with light makeup whenever I get out and do my best to cope with the ongoing trend. But I never realized that this is the reason for my insecurities. Guys stare at me and follow me because I provoke them to. They tease me in the street because I show off my beauty shamelessly despite covering my hair. I am the reason for their stunned eyes. I can't help but cry now for my own deeds.
At night after Isha's prayer,I held my hands up to pray, "Ya Allah forgive me!! It's only You who can make the wrong right. Thanks to You,Ya Rabbul Alamin for making me understand the true concept of hijab even if it's late... Never is too late for you I know, Ya Ghafurur Rahim... Please now guide me and give me the mental strength to follow your directions.... Please make it easy for me to cover myself properly...."tears incessantly flow down my face leaving my eyes swollen and cheeks scarlet.
Yes, I have taken my decision already. I can't let all these continue anymore. It's never too late to come back to the right path,is it? If I want safety from men and don't want to get their attention,I am the one who has to take a step. If I want to save myself from the lewd eyes of outsiders, I have to cover myself properly. It reminds me, if I want to get rid of the unnecessary attention of Zawad bhai, I have to avoid all kinds of makeover stuffs and stop beautifying myself. I must leave unreasonably putting on face powder, pancakes, colourful lipstick, matte eyeliner and literally everything unnecessary that gives me fake beauty.
I will stop wearing fitting vivid dresses from now on. I will avoid all my precious makeup kits that dad brought for me from abroad in front of my non mahrams if I want to be a chaste wife to my husband in future. I can't let him doubt about my past by any chance.... Ever....
Light of the dawn illuminated both the sky and my heart.... Yes.... I am determined....
I'll start wearing niqab from today if Allah wills.....
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The morning started with my pressing the loose dark blue abaya with an iron. I had bought it a long time ago from England but never really wore this. As I was determined to wear niqab from now on, I chose this to wear today. So when I got ready for my class, Annaba entered the room and immediately froze in her place.
"Sis....!"
"How am I looking?"I turned to her with a smile. I knew everyone will react this way.
"I mean seriously?!? You are wearing a niqab??! And.. And.. And Abaya!?!" she exclaimed.
"Yes I am. Now if you excuse me, I gotta go lest I should be late!"I picked up my phone and bag from the couch.
"You are looking freaking awesome! Oh gosh just let me see!" she bounced forward and cupped my face, "You sure you will continue this practice from now on?"
"Yes I am, Alhumdulillah."
She placed her hands on my shoulders, "I love you, you know that?"
This time I couldn't suppress my laugh, "Why suddenly this confession?"
"I love it that you can take a step when you need. And thus make the way easier for me. We both know mom will scream when she sees this, but I just love your courage..... Can I... Can I join your team too?"her eyes glistened with a smile.
"Who am I to stop you? I'll love it if you can control yourself enough from the greed of using those makeup kits." I grinned pointing at our dressing table which was literally overflowing with various makeup items of renowned brands.
"Well that would be a problem." She pouted,"But I'll try."
I smiled and messed up her hair,"It's ok. It's better to prepare your mind for it first and then start practicing. Now Allah Hafez. I gotta go."
I ran downstairs and shouting goodbye to mom who was in the kitchen, headed to the car. It's a relief that she didn't see me like this to be honest. Because if she did, she would have instantly started to throw tantrums screaming what is the need to cover like this, only hijab was enough till now, then why being such an extremist, how will she get me married off now, what will people say if they see me like this, kids will call me aunty and bla bla bla... I huffed in salvation and thanked Allah for getting me rid of her allegations this time. I really don't have time for that now.
Today one new chapter of my life begins. And I am super excited for that.
"Assalamu Alaikum."I uttered as soon as I joined my group in the class.
They stared at me for a long minute trying hard to recognize who I am.
"Hey! Shayba!! Walaikum Salam. I seriously couldn't recognize you!!! You are wearing niqab!!" Nadia broke the silence as she screamed while I just smiled back.
"It's a long time without you my friend!"Biva started to sing.
"I know right? I've been on an awesome tour this days and I can't wait to show you my pictures!!" I squeaked in excitement.
"Yeah but first give us chocolates!!!" Farhana shouted aaaaaand it was a hassle. The fight of picking the best one before anyone else from the bag continued till it was empty.
"So? How was the trip with Zawad bhai huh? Anything significant happened?" Suddenly Biva winked at me making my smile falter.
Oh Allah! Not again!
"Hey! I heard you two really got closer. Is that true?" Meera, one of my fellow classmates, asked making me completely dumb. What kind of close does she mean?
"Yeah I heard you have been texting him everyday."Biva asked again. I stared at her being stunned. Text him? Yeah I used to do that. But only for Salah. And it was a temporary deal between us! We are done with that!
Thankfully Nadia came to my rescue and said,"Guys guys. Stop it. Shayba isn't someone who'll go on haraam dates. What are you talking about?"
Oh thanks a bunch Nads!
"But we heard...."
"Misheard! Now leave her alone. She has come to the varsity after so many days!"
I couldn't be more grateful to Nadia as I was now. She literally saved me from these people and their stupid misconceptions. I huffed in relief but through the corner of my eyes, realized clearly that Tonima was glaring at me all the time.
Zawad's P.O.V.
"Yeah I'm checking the mail. You saw the products shipped from Singapore ma?"
"No I'll go see that in the afternoon. I have a meeting in ten minutes. Talk to you later okay?"
"Shayba!!" I heard someone calling loud from behind. My eyes automatically turned to the voice but searched for her vainly.
"Yes?" I heard a reply from that familiar sharp voice.
Wait.... Where is she???
"Abir?" Mom asked me as I got zoned out from my surroundings looking for one damn person.
I quickly responded on the phone, "Umm yeah mom. Take care. Allah Hafez."
She replied awkwardly, "Oooookaayyy.. You too. Allah Hafez."
Then my eyes searched relentlessly everywhere for that hijabi. Nope. She is nowhere in sight. But I heard her voice nearby just now! I hearkened my ears carefully to hear that again.
"Okay I'll bring the sheets tomorrow Ing Sha Allah."
Again.
What the heck! Where is she???? My eyes hunted tirelessly for her.
"Zawad bhai!!" a girl voice from behind made me turn back immediately with impetuosity only to find a completely unknown girl with red lipstick, loose hair bangs covering half of her face, imposing to be beautiful standing in front of me. What the heck? Who is she? She is standing too close to me than she should actually. My heart sank at that sight in front of me leaving me agitated with despair. "Who are you?"
Her disposition darkened when I didn't recognize her. Okay I get it. You have a crush on me too, huh?
"I'm Tonima. Remember? You gave me some notes that day."
How the heck am I supposed to remember that??? Soooo many people take sheets from me..!
"Ahh..no.."I answer bitterly with my lips crinkled on one side.
Ignoring my answer, she huffed with teary eyes,"Why didn't you answer my call huh?? I called you over thousand times! I thought something terrible happened to you and couldn't eat for the whole day! Have you any idea about that!?!? And here you are having fun already forgetting about me???"
What the f**k is with that attitude?! Is she my girlfriend or something?!?! Well maybe I'd be worn down at these cheesy talks and meaningless concern for me at this point if everything was like before. But maybe it's too late now. My mind is completely occupied by a certain girl 24/7 without any significant reason. I don't even know why I am searching for her.
"Sorry I don't actually receive calls from random people."I tried to excuse myself still with an annoyed face.
Making my conviction true, her eyes lost its appeal that it had a moment ago.
"You didn't save my number?"
"No.Why should I? I didn't think it was important!" This should be enough to reject a girl.
Saying nothing, she stared at me for sharp one minute as if she is giving me a chance to change what I said to her just now. What the heck!! I turned back to take a cup of coffee to drink. Though I was standing my back towards her,I could easily understand that this girl is still standing behind me staring with eyes filled with tears. This type of incidents have happened with me before. Girls came and talked to me with so much authority in their voices that they had deep intimacy with me. So I ignored When she realized that I am not turning back to her again, she went away not looking back for once.
"You shouldn't have told her such mean things. She likes you a lot."
I instantly got an electric shock hearing this voice so near to me! I glanced to my right and found a girl looking up at me, wearing a navy blue abaya with a NIQAB!???
I stared at those eyes for some moments and got lost in my familiar deep sea. Is this her? She gazed down as quickly as possible giving me no chance to jump into those eyes.
"Is that YOU SHAYBA?!!??"I asked with my breath stopped.
She slightly nodded without raising her head and focused on the phone in her hand.
I at once sat on the bench opposite to her and exclaimed,"Niqab...?!? SINCE WHEN????"
She looked at the other way and replied, "You shouldn't be pondered about that."
"Whaaat? Yeah... I know.. I mean, whyyy suddenly this decision?"I murmured. I shouldn't have asked her that but I'm freaking curious!!
Showing a cold shoulder to my question, she restlessly peeked here and there and said,"That is Nadia's seat you are sitting on. Please get up before she comes back with our lunch Zawad bhai.."
I stared at her with wonder,"What??"
"I'm sorry Zawad bhai. But they will get a wrong idea again. Pleeease..." she pleaded.
"What wrong idea?" I was dumb this time.
"You know that......! Just get up, okay? I hate it to be suspected unreasonably."
I again stared at her. What's there to surmise about us? We did nothing suspicious yet but people are not letting this matter leave from their minds for once! What is the problem they have with us????
"Ok fine. I'll get up. But promise you'll meet me later when you are free." I agreed for her sake.
She frowned."Why?"
An instant idea blew my mind as I answered with a smirk,"Ummm let's just say I heard some topics about you and Rahat."
Her eyes dilated and the next moment showed clear annoyance.
"How did you find out his name??"
"I know everything!"
"I know Tanveer bhai told you all this."
"Really? I don't think so. How would Tanveer know that your would be husband is the least bit educated than you are and hence unemployed? How would he know that he is waiting for his father to get a post in his business?" I smirked.
Her beautiful eyes dilated. If I'm right, then her jaw dropped too behind that niqab."He is not my would be husband! Bu... but.. you are not supposed to know all these! You stalked him on facebook???" she cried.
"WHAT?? No way! Why would I do that?? But let's just stop talking about that now. Your friend is coming."
I sneered and winking at her, walked away.
Haha this is going to be fun! I need more information from Annaba though. And I have no idea how I'll get it from her. She is a complete politician who will only provide me information if her usury is involved in the matter. But who cares about that? I can make up a hundred things to scare her sister.
Shayba's P.O.V.
My heart skipped a beat when he winked. What the heck! How dare he wink at me??
And nooo!! How does he know all these personal things??? Rahat's mom called my mom several times since our meeting. As I had already said no, I didn't bother to ruffle in this matter anymore. But lucky I am. To get a person the same levelled lunatic as him. My beloved mother. Our conversation went on like this yesterday,
"Look Shayba,do you want to spoil the friendship between me and my friend?"
"No mom! And this will only happen if you two get your children married off. Please leave us alone!"
"We are doing this for your own good Shayba."
"Don't even say that mom! I'm tired and sick of this! He totally sucks!"
"I don't understand! When will you get mature?!?! Oh Allah! What sin had I done before that I had to give birth to you three? None of you siblings ever listen to me! You always do whatever you wish! Have you ever thought of doing something for your mother? No! Rather you......... bla bla bla.. "she continued.
Snubbing at me for almost half an hour she barged out of my room and didn't talk to me since then.
But I don't understand how did Zawad bhai know about these??!!? I didn't tell this to anyone except Nawsheen! Maybe he really stalked him on social media?? But WHY will he do that??? He refused that too! Argh my mind is totally tangled up! Moreover I can't go to meet him alone to hear about my own succulent affairs! Besides the attitude of Biva, Tonima and others totally pissed me off. I don't know what I'd have done if Nadia wasn't there for me. Unbearable! I can't decide if I should study for my exam now or chew over these nonsensical things anymore.
"Oye! What happened? What are you thinking about contorting eyebrows like that??" Nadia came back with our lunch.
"Nothing. Oh you brought chicken! Jazakillahu Khair. You know when I was in France, I was craving for this masala chicken......!" I quickly changed the subject and started eating. She stared at me with suspicion but uttered nothing. Hope she won't suspect anything. Man! This is hard to eat wearing a niqab...
In the afternoon,on my way to the hall,I almost collided with a guy when he intentionally blocked my way. I could easily understand who it was without looking upwards. I tossed to and fro to pass through him but he didn't let me do that. HOW did he find me from all people?? I am covered from head to toe!!
"What do you want Zawad bhai?"I huffed.
"Come here."
"I'm not going anywhere with you. And how did you know it was me???"
He laughed sarcastically and asked, "How many niqabis roam around the campus so coolly with a red iPhone in her hand?"
I see! So my damn iPhone has been my identity!
He asked again smirking,"So???"
Why is HE so interested to tell me what he knows? Although I was dying inside,I made a dour face and answered, "What so?"
"What do you mean??? You didn't even ask for once how I found all these out!"
"Because I really don't care Zawad bhai. Leave me alone."
"May I ask why?"
"Because I don't care what you and others know about this stupid guy! I am not getting married to him!" I wanted to slid through his side but he blocked my way.
"Really??? Then why are you so scared about our meeting every time?"
"Well... you knowww..! It's because you are so popular..! And girls have a crush on you.... Even my own friend loves you like crazy! They already warned me, well, not literally, but they will shear me into pieces if they see me with you alone again..! And for me to survive here, I need them to get along with me well. You got that, right????"
He didn't reply staring at my eyes confusingly. Before I could command him to move his eyes from my face,he spoke, "Who the hell warned you? Tell me! I swear I'm gonna mince them all! How dare they scold you for being with me? Quick. Tell me. I'll see through this matter."
"Argh! Stop it Zawad bhai. First of all I too don't want to spend time with you alone to make others suspect my activities, secondly you are a non mahram to me and for that I don't want to meet you without the presence of my mahrams. And thirdly, I don't care even if everyone knows about this guy! It's not like we are related! So stop meddling with it and let me go! Don't you have any other work to do???"
"First tell me, you two aren't getting married, are you Shayba???"
What's with that kind of tone? Why does it seem he is more concerned about it than I myself am? Whatever. I gloomily replied, "I don't know. Mom won't spare me until I give up and agree with her."
"What the...! Why will you get married so soon and sudden???? You don't even know that guy!!"
"It's not like I'll know my suitors unless I'm having a love marriage."
"But he is a dumbass! He isn't eligible for you!!!"
"If both my parents think it's right for me, I'll give my consent."I tried to reason out.
"But it's your own life!!! The decision should be yours!!"he screamed again.
"WHY ON EARTH ARE YOU SO TENSED ABOUT IT????? Don't you have studies and business to handle??? Stop meddling with my life!!!"
He stared at me with a hurt look on his face but uttered nothing.
I sighed and gazed down as grief mounted on me abruptly. Why is not my mom in favour of me? Why can't she understand what I want? Why doesn't she have the slightest bit idea of my opinion? Is her friendship with that woman more important to her than her daughter's life??
"Let me go Zawad bhai."
He diverted his vision and without saying anything made way for me to go. I paced up to escape from this isolated place as soon as possible.
My heart was experiencing a turmoil right now fearing all the impossibles. The fear of getting married so soon, the fear of my fate's being tied to a guy like Rahat and the fear of my friends' suspicion about my being with Zawad bhai created a havoc inside me. So with a flushed face, I quickly placed my footsteps feeling a bit guilty to see his face ever darkened than before...
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Assalamu Alaikum beautiful people.. I need to inform you that my exams are near and to be honest I really have no right to spend time writing in wattpad now without covering my syllabus... So I'm extremely sorry, the updates will be a little slow but I hope you will forgive me....:) Please be patient with my work, it will get more interesting in the coming days.. I promise I'll get back to you as soon as possible... Till then keep praying for me...:) Love..<3<3<3