When I wake up, Andrew was doing something on his phone. He briefly glanced at me before way before going back to his phone. I picked at my nails until he switched off his phone and put it on the bedside table.
He smiled at me and pulled me into a hug and placed a small kiss on the top of my head. "Morning."
I felt like I had to tell him...oh knew I had to tell him, or Zack will. Hopefully he doesn't. I can't loose him. Not after everything we went through. All the shit I went through just so he could be with me. All the fights, the disagreements...I wasn't going to loose him, not now. I know I was being selfish but I...I don't know.
He smiled and looked me in my eyes. He leaned in to kiss me but I turned my head making his lips meet contact with my cheek.
I played with his sheets and I knew he was watching me.
"Andrew?"
I looked up at him but looked away when I met his eyes. He hummed and I inhaled a sharp intake of air.
My head was in his chest as he caressed my back. "Why do...why do to love me?"
His hands paused a bit before continuing to move his hands up and down my back once again. My thin hands wrapped around his torso and I lied my head again his chest, embracing the moment.
"Why?"
"I don't know...I just want to know."
Or maybe it's becasue I kissed one of your friends and in order to tell you, I need to get you in a 'lovey dovey' mood so you're not that mad. I'm sure after he tells me I'll feel guilty enough to tell him. I start to tell him not to bother but he already starts.
"You're beautiful, smart, funny, weird in the cutest way, you care about other people and you put some people's feelings before yours-"
I already feel guilty so I stop him, "Wait...I have another questing for you. If I ever cheated on you, not that I did...I didn't, would you be mad?"
"Yes."
"But you cheated on me."
He pecked my lips and climbed off the bed, "That's in the past. Let's not talk about this. We have nothing to worry about...the cheating thing I mean."
He headed for the shower and I knew if I didn't tell him now, I would never tell him. And if I never tell him, Zack will. And if Zack tells him my ass will be toast.
"Andrew, I kissed Zack."
I closed my eyes, hoping it'll shield me from something, even though I knew it wouldn't. I heard him laugh and open the bathroom door.
"Yeah and Ariana Grande is waiting at the end of the red carpet to propose to me."
I want to laugh it off and tell him I'm joking but I can't let him find out from Zack or anyone for that matter. I sighed and looked away from him, "I'm...not...I'm not joking."
His hand paused on the doorknob, "What?"
His mood changed from playful to angry in a matter of seconds, as his tone had an edge in it.
I played with the hem of his shirt, which I was wearing, and stared at my feet. I didn't want to see his expression. I didn't want to accept that he was mad at me.
"I'm sorry." He didn't move from his frozen position, "It didn't mean anything, though. It was supposed to distract me from...well, you. And I know that's not an excuse, in fact it's a rather dumb excuse but that's the truth and I'm going to shush now."
I looked at him and he was finally facing me. "I...I don't know how to respond."
I want to say something but I stay quiet because I know the slightest thing will tick him off. At least the burden of not telling him is gone. But now I have the anticipation of his reaction. "I give you all my love...and this is how you treat me?"
"I know I'm wrong but, you kissed Hailey."
He walked up to me and grabbed my wrists, our faces inches apart, but this time I didn't like it.
"It's that why you kissed him? So you could get even!"
He yelled in my face and I let my tears flow, "I'm sorry but you don't have to be that mad. You...I...I forgave you."
"Is that what you want me to do? Forgive you?"
"I...I don't know."
His grip tightened, and I know it wasn't purposely, and I let out a sound, "Andrew..." I hiccupped, "you're...you're hurting me."
His eyes softened immediately and he let go of my hands. I ran over to his bed, far from him, and sat. I rubbed the now red spot and bit my lip so I wouldn't make a sound, because it hurt. He began to walk over to me but I backed up until my back hit the wall. He stopped in the middle of his steps, his eyes showing pain.
His voice was soft and I could tell he was hurt. I didn't answer, I just shut my eyes. He whispered, "You're afraid?"
He took my hands and his eyes widened at what he did, "I'm so sorry," he ran his thumb over it and I hissed. His head snapped up to look at me, "I'm sorry. This wasn't supposed to happen. I would never hurt you, Jessie. I love you."
I retracted my hands from him and I hugged myself and looked up at him with glossy eyes. I didn't want to answer. I don't know what he's capable of. I know he'll never purposely hurt me but when you're angry you don't think, you just do. He sat down in front of me and my head snapped up to look at him. He caressed my cheek and I accidentally flinched.
"Jessie, I will never hurt you."
I rubbed my wrist and whispered, "You already did. "
He reached put for my hands again but I stood up and backed away from him, shaking my head.
"Jessie...just leave."
Tears flowed down my face. This is what I was afraid of. I knew I shouldn't have kissed Zack. "What?"
He whispered, "I'm sorry," and closed the bathroom door behind him. How was I supposed to get home? I wiped my eyes and stepped out of his room.
When I left his house I slid down his front door and cried. I just let it all out. But eventually I had to get up. I knew this would have happened. Why is my life so dramatic? I wish I never spoke to Andrew. In fact, I wish I never spoke. My life was perfect before him. I had no friends, or life, but I had perfect grades and my life was stress free.
I couldn't even get a taxi because I had no money. I sighed and prepared myself to walk home.
Just as my foot hit the pavement, his door opened. "I'll drive you home."
He avoided eye contact with me, walked past me and entered his car. I sat in the passenger seat and I lied my head on the window as silence filled the car. It was a good thing he decided to drop me home because soon enough, rain drops took over the silence.
He pulled up at my house and before I came out of the car, I glanced at him and a light gasp escaped my lips when I saw his busted knuckles and glass rimmed eyes.
I outstretched my hand towards his and gently ran my fingers over his injuries. He looked at my wrists briefly before looking away. He hissed, slightly, causing me to look at him. We made eye contact but he looked away from me and I unlocked the door, leaving...hopefully, coming back.