"Tumhai Dil lagi bhool jani pare gi.
Mohabbat ki rahon main aa kar to dekho."
[You will have to forget all about infatuation
Try embarking upon on the journey of love!]
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••| Chapter 36 |••
Eleana:
I woke up early in the morning excited like anything. It was Haldi ceremony in a few hours. We were sharing a single room with a number of vanity tables. We girls decided to let us have some privacy from the guys so we just divided the room into two parts by a curtain. One for the girls and one for the boys. The boys included Kabir, Ricky, Obi and Aryan. The girls included Alia, Geet and I. We were at Kabir's side for the wedding. Varun, Shraddha, Ashar, Khirad, Annie and Maya were at Naina's side.
So we began to get ready for the function. It was a combined function. Naina had chosen all my dresses as I didn't have time to buy any. I took out the dress from the wardrobe cupboard. It was a beautiful dress. I would have to thank Naina for this. It consisted of a shimmery gold shirt with small beads all over that and a maroon skirt that had a large flare. I paired it with golden flats. I was not in a mood to wear heels today. I got tired so easily. I wore my matching golden and maroon earrings and applied a little bit of makeup. I wore my bangles. Alia and Geet did my hair and I was ready.
I sat there for a while watching Alia and Geet get ready. Both of them wore pretty colourful sarees. We removed the curtain and the boys looked ready too. Kabir was wearing a simple white coloured Kurta [Long shirt for men.] with his hair spiked up. Ricky, Obi and Aryan wore different coloured Kurtas. Aryan wore an white one with a yellow chunri [scarf] over that. He looked handsome as always. Kabir asked the girls to go first and he would come later with the guys. As we made our way out of the room, I felt self conscious under the scrutinising gaze of a certain someone. The skirt was very long and it stuck in my sandals time and again. I was thankful that I didn't wear any heels otherwise I might have fallen down till now. We went outside in the garden where the Haldi ceremony was to take place and observed the decorations. Alia, Geet and I captured each other's pictures in the meanwhile. The place was beautifully decorated with colourful drapes. The flowers were hung in strings that were hung from the terrace. A love seat was made for the bride on one side and the groom on the other side opposite to that. Everything looked so colourful and jolly. A little while later, Naina arrived with her cousins, Shraddha, Annie, Khirad, Ashar and Varun. Ashar and Varun went to the boys after asking about them whereas we girls stayed there. Naina was dressed beautifully and aptly according to the occasion. She wore a yellow coloured ghagra [a long skirt] with pink coloured blouse and a yellow net duppata [scarf] on her shoulders. She was not wearing any makeup. She had left her hair open. Shraddha and Khirad were wearing Ghagra Cholis [Traditional dress for women] and little Annie was wearing full Punjabi dress with a yellow coloured short shirt, pink coloured patiala [trouser] and a green duppata [scarf] placed on her neck. She looked so adorable. Her her was open and she was wearing a tiny bindi on her forehead. I took a selfie with her as we both pouted. After that, Naina was made to sit on her love seat and the henna artist applied henna on her arms, hands and feet. After that she made intricate designs on our hands and feet.
As she was applying henna on my hands, she asked.
"What should I write here?"
"Nothing!" I replied with a blank face.
"Really? You don't have any boyfriend or even a crush?" She asked surprised. I shook my head at her.
"Write A." Geet interrupted. I looked at her with wide eyes.
"Who's A?" The henna artist teased.
"No one you should know." Geet shut her up. She continued doing her tasks.
"Who's A?" I whispered to Geet after the henna artist left to apply the henna on Shraddha and Alia's hands.
"No one you should know." She repeated winking at me. I waved it off. After we were done applying the Henna, the boys joined us. They entered doing there signature Bhangra [Punjabi style dance] with Kabir. Kabir settled on his love seat. Before we could start the Haldi ritual, Naina's phone buzzed. She excused herself and went away. At the same time, Kabir got up too. Geet, Obi, Ricky and I sneaked out and found them sharing an intimate and cute moment. We captured their pictures secretly and went away giggling. After a while, a blushing Naina joined us whereas Kabir entered five minutes later so that nobody could get suspicious of them. The Haldi ceremony started with music playing on the stereo system. The DJ played Kabira Encore as we applied the turmeric paste on Naina's arms, feet and face. The boys rubbed the paste all over her face. The elderly ladies applied it after us. They made her wear the bangles and teased her about Kabir. After that, the ladies beat the drum as everybody sang in chorus and danced on the songs. The boys did their Bhangra. We danced together on "Nachde ne Saare."
Everybody was in a jovial and happy mood. Wedding and Punjabi vibes were all around. Giggles and chattering could be heard, accompanied with the beautiful and soft jingles of bangles and anklets.
After that the food was served for lunch. It was a grand lunch and a lot of dishes were served. I tried each one of them. First there was Laal Maas which was the most favourite Rajasthani dish of the tourists. It's a very spicy dish made with meat in fiery red chillies. I tried it with plain white rice and it tasted so amazing. Then I tried Mohan Maas. It was tender and juicy meat with thick gravy infused with the flavours of lemon and cardamom. Next there was Gatte ki Khichdi and Gatte ka pulao. There was Boondo raita to balance the taste of the spices with its mildly sweet and sour yogurt flavour. There was also a special type of Mango pickle called as "Aam ki Launji". For the sweet dish, there was Dil Khushal which is also called as Besan ki Barfi and Balushahi that looked like a doughnut dipped in sugar syrup. As I placed it inside my mouth, there was a waterfall of sugary syrup all over my mouth. It was so amazing that I could've sworn by that. After having lunch, we went back to our rooms to have a quick nap and rest before the grand sangeet ceremony [musical night] took place. For Sangeet, Ashar and Khirad were joining us. The sangeet was going to be held at the night at 9.00 in the grand hall. I slept for some time because I wanted to be fresh for tonight. Geet and I were performing together and I had a solo performance as well which nobody knew of.
Aryan:
After the Haldi ceremony was over, we went to our allotted rooms. My phone's battery had died out. I shuffled through my stuff to find my charger. I plugged in my phone. As I was looking for the charger, I found something unusual. It was her diary. I took it out, everybody was sleeping. I was the only one awake. I went to the balcony. I was double minded whether to open it or not. Finally I opened it with a hope of finding something about her. As I went through the pages, there was nothing else but some sad writings.
Sometimes I remember you. I remember how first we became friends. I remember the times we shared, the way you used to laugh when I would pull a sad face. I remember when you told me your secrets, things that you had never told anyone before. I remember your smile when our eyes met everyday, the way you used to look at me, I'll never forget. With you was always my favourite place to be. You sit in my mind because once upon a time you were in my heart. I hope you think of me sometimes, I'll forever be thinking of you.
I flipped to the next page.
I miss you when something really good happens, cause you're the one I want to share it with. I miss you when something is troubling me, cause you're the one who understands me so well. I miss you when I laugh and cry, cause you're the one who makes my laughter grow and my tears disappear. I miss you all the time but I miss you the most when I lie awake at night and think of all the wonderful times we spent together.
Eleana didn't know how much had I missed her in all my little and big moments. I continued reading her confessions with tears in my eyes.
I was always afraid of losing you.
And here I am. Loving you and losing you at the same time. Weren't you supposed to be only mine. And all these pass like water. Years cannot change what you mean to me. This world melts in my heart tonight and I cry your absence in oceans.
I traced my fingers over the tear stains on that page. By now, I had tears in my eyes too.
What she must be going through? What was so secret about that?
I had pretended to Geet that I had gotten over Eleana but the truth was that even I could never get over her.
Years cannot change what you mean to me.
Yes, all these years of separation didn't even change a tiny bit of what she meant to me. She was my world, she is my world and she would remain my world forever. I flipped through the next pages which were comparatively fresh. I remembered the day when she arrived here and we had the most awful encounter where I was drunk.
If I was your star, then you were my sky.
If I was your answer, you were my "Why?"
If I was your flower, you were my tree.
If I was your river, then you were my sea.
I've always loved you more than you did to me.
No Eleana, you didn't love me more than I did because I never left you. You left me.
You once told me "Tell me where it hurts and I will kiss it all better."
But now it's years later and where are you? When I am laying in my bed, clutching my pillow like an anchor to this world and whispering "Everywhere."
You are very near but very far away. I can feel you everywhere but I can't see you. When did we grow so far apart that we could never be together again? It hurts. It hurts so much. Please make it stop.
I placed the bookmark there and closed the diary. I closed me eyes as I felt some tears rolling down. I quickly wiped them away. I knew that I was hurting her but she had also hurt me. A lot!
I didn't imagine that my Eleana would hurt me one day. I was a jerk to her that day. I couldn't control my anger. I wasn't in my senses. Her red marked wrists again flashed before my eyes and I cursed myself. I opened the diary again.
When did life becomes this much cruel to snatch my bestest of friends away?
I cry your absence in oceans. I can't even touch you when all I want is to be wrapped up in your arms, feeling home. Time is known to heal all the wounds. And it would if only it could. Yet these wounds cannot be healed because they have been sealed with permanent scars. All the pain is locked up inside me which cannot be washed even by the heaviest rains. If you could only feel how much it hurts. Yet I would not wish that even upon the cursed. The pain is a dagger which stabs my heart and pricks it every second till it tears apart. Like a flower whose petals have died, all I feel is emptiness inside. Though for you my heart weeps a river of blood, you're not to be blamed for this flood. I am letting you go even though you were never mine. It was my mistake to think it could be just fine.
I went through some more pages. There were some pages that were hidden between them. There was a title written in bold "Before I die; My Bucket List" and some wishes were written under them. I wasn't able to read anymore. I closed the diary and put it inside my bag. I went out to the balcony and remembered our times together.
It was the day when Eleana was leaving for US. Both of us were sitting in her room.
"Aryan, Will you do me a favour?" She asked.
"Anything for you babe." I replied.
"Don't ever fall in love with me. Never!" She said.
"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked her confused.
"Simple as that!" She said as she kissed my cheek.
It was as if she knew this was going to happen. It was as if she had planned it all. Because of some obvious reasons. Like she didn't want us to know about it.
What have I done?
My mind was exploding with all the new information that came today. All the scenarios and small hints made me frustrated like hell and I was not thinking like a sane person anymore. I borrowed Kabir's car keys and went out. I drove at an insanely high speed. I drove around the city until I was somewhat calmer. I drove in full speed and I was not thinking about anything else except Eleana.
Eleana:
We woke up in the evening and decided to start getting ready for the sangeet function after the tea break. Kabir ordered some coffee and soup for everyone.
"Guys, Where's Aryan?" Ricky asked, noticing his absence. I had noticed it but I didn't dare to ask.
"Yeah, where is he?" Geet added.
"He went out, somewhere." Kabir answered.
"How do you know?" Obi asked.
"He took my keys." Kabir answered.
My eyes widened with horror as everyone else's. Kabir soon realised where could he be.
"Oh Shit." Kabir cursed under his breath. "I would have never handed him the keys if I was fully awake. I was in my sleep when he took them. Obi, Ricky! Dial his number. See if he picks up. Alia, call Varun and ask him to come here quickly."
Everyone did as ordered. The soup and coffee was long forgotten. Everyone was having a panic attack, thinking about the consequences. He didn't know the ways and routes here.
"He isn't picking up my call." Ricky panicked.
"Neither mine." Obi said with a disappointed and worried face.
"Now what?" Kabir asked as he rubbed his forehead with his fingers in frustration.
Varun arrived there. "What happened guys? What's the emergency?"
"Aryan!" Kabir frowned.
"Where is he?" He asked.
"That is the problem. Where is he?" Obi explained.
"Don't tell me. No shit. Only two hours are remaining for the function to start." Varun said as he frantically paced around the room moving his hands through his hair. "Is there any other car here Kabir?"
"Yeah. There is one down." Kabir answered.
"Look, I am almost done with all my preparations. I just have to change. It will hardly take 5 minutes. So I am going to look for him. You don't take tension and get ready for your function. Don't worry. I'll bring him back." Varun said and ran out.
I went out and called him loudly.
"VD!" He turned around. "Can I come with you?" I asked.
"As much as I would love to have a company. I don't think that's a good idea. You stay here and get ready for the function. Don't worry, I promise I will come back with him." He assured me as he held my shoulders with his hands. I nodded in an understanding way and went back to my room. I was hell worried about his safety and protection. His mood swings were even worse than some pregnant woman. At that moment, I realised the importance of him being in front of my eyes. He wasn't talking to me but at least he was in front of my eyes. I was internally satisfied that he was doing fine but now that he was gone somewhere, I was continuously worrying about his safety. I was getting negative vibes all of a sudden. Sometimes someone's presence was enough to calm your inner turmoil. I went back to my room and changed into my dress. I would change it after my performance for the second performance. It was an ink blue sleeveless blouse that was back less and had flowers made from thread work in the periphery. It was paired with a violet coloured long skirt that reached till my toes. I slipped into my sandals and pinned my hair sideways and loosely curled the ends. I wore my earrings and other accessories and applied some face powder, a nude lipstick, some lip balm and eye liner.
I went to the other side to find Kabir pacing around in his suit. I tapped his shoulder and looked at him with questioning eyes.
"No progress yet. I called Varun and he said that he has searched every nook and corner of the city. He's nowhere to be found. He has even asked from several hospitals but he hasn't found him yet."
Now I was really worried. This was not going to end well. He wasn't outside. He wasn't inside then where was he? I was constantly muttering prayers to God to keep him safe wherever he was. I could feel my eyes becoming glassy. I couldn't let him go like that. He had to come back. Varun arrived a few moments later with a disappointed look on his face.
"I am sorry Elly. I tried to keep my promise." He whispered as he went past me.
"Varun, you go and get ready. I will go and look for him in the nearby areas again. Only 15 minutes are left for the function to start." Ricky said and Varun nodded.
Varun went back to his room. Kabir and Obi were constantly trying to reach him through their phones but he had switched it off. After another ten minutes, Obi arrived with Aryan following behind him. Kabir told us all to leave for the venue saying that he will arrive shortly. Aryan pretended as if nothing had happened and had a fake smile playing on his lips that was not reaching his eyes. His eyes that were blood shot but he was very good in putting up a facade. Staring at his tired face, I went away with Alia, Geet, Obi and Ricky.
"Aryan, what the hell? My wedding has started and you're still behaving like this? What's your problem man? Look at the time. We are getting late. We were worried sick about you. What kind of behaviour is this?" Kabir ranted.
"I didn't ask you to get worried about me. Can't you guys leave me alone for a second. I am sick of this shit every day. I am so tired of my life. I just want to be alone. No one gives a damn about anyone here. You should not be sincere to anyone. You'll end up getting hurt only. Don't give someone more than they deserve. You'll end up getting hurt more than you deserve. I can't change my behavior. If you have a problem, then I don't give a fuck. I am so done with everyone. Everyone is so mean and manipulative here. Everyone is selfish. Everyone just thinks about themselves and not anyone else. What kind of friendship is this? Don't lecture me on behaving. Just leave me alone. Leave me alone." Aryan yelled at him. He was fuming with anger.
"Aryan!" Kabir held his shoulder, stunned by his sudden outburst.
Aryan rubbed his forehead with his forefinger and thumb.
"Kabir, go and enjoy your function. I am sorry for ruining this. But I am dealing with a lot of things right now. I have a lot of stress. I will join you shortly. I promise. Don't worry about me. I am coming after getting ready." He spoke calmly this time. Kabir joined us understanding his frustration as we went towards the main hall.
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