I slowly removed myself from Alice's embrace and turned around to face the one person who hasn't spoken to me in a month. The person who has ignored, hurt, and broken me. The person that slowly pushed me past my breaking point yet I still wanted to run into his arms and tell him that I loved him, even though he probably didn't love me. Now, after weeks of me being gone, he was standing right here, in front of me in the streets of London.
"What're you doing here?" My words were harsher than I intended them to be but I was just confused and frustrated by everything that he has put me through.
"I came looking for you, to apologize for my actions." Alec took a step closer to me while I took a step back, bringing Alice with me. I held onto her arm, being as this comforted me and kept me from phasing.
"Why? It didn't seem like you wanted to apologize that day in Rome; when you were accusing me of following you and you left." Oh, how much I wanted to punch him, to put him in as much pain as he put me in.
"I don't know what I was thinking-"
"You don't know what you were thinking? That's your excuse?" I let out a dry laugh before looking back it him. "That's pathetic, Alec." I thought for a second before asking Alice if she could give us a moment, to which she agreed but said that she would be going back to her hotel. I hugged her before turning my attention back to Alec.
"Please forgive me. I didn't mean to cause you so much pain-"
"Cut the crap. I can't forgive someone who constantly hurt me and chose to ignore it. Every time that I looked at you, you just looked past me, at her. Do you know how that made me feel? I spent endless amounts of times thinking that it was my fault that you left with her. I thought that maybe it was because I wasn't as tall, or as skinny, or as pretty as she is; that it was because I am a shape shifter and you're not. That the reason that you left was because she was a vampire and I wasn't. For a split second, I began to think that we weren't actually soul mates because this would never happen to soul mates. I thought, that if we were truly meant to be, then you wouldn't have left and ignored me for some other vampire that is better than me." By now I was crying as I finished my rant, and it didn't matter how hard I tried to stop them, the tears came down like waterfalls. Alec softly cupped my cheeks and used his thumbs to wipe away my tears. I wanted to pull away but his touch was so comforting to me that I couldn't.
"Don't ever think that of yourself. Don't think for one moment that you aren't tall, or skinny, or pretty enough for me. You are the most beautiful girl that I have ever laid eyes on, and most importantly, you are mine." I looked at the ground, not wanting to meet his gaze. How could I trust someone who has already hurt me so much?
"I'm sorry, I can't-I can't do this. You've hurt me too much and this is all too much for me right now. I need to be alone." I pulled away from him and turned around, crossing my arms and pulling them around my cold body.
"Please, Kenzi, come back with me to Volterra." Alec begged, gently grabbing my arm to try and stop me. I pushed his hand away before looking back into his hurt eyes.
"I can't, you've hurt me too much." I turned back around and practically ran back to my hotel, leaving him alone.
I needed time to myself, time to think about this. Part of me was overjoyed that he had come looking for me but another part of me was telling me that if I went back to Volterra, he would just end up hurting me again. I contemplated whether to turn around and run into his arms, have him hold me and tell me that everything was going to be okay, but I knew that I couldn't do that, no matter how much I wanted to. I wanted to call out to him, tell him to come with me to my hotel room and we can watch movies and just enjoy each other's company, but I couldn't. He needed to understand that I needed space after he hurt me, I needed time to recover from all of the emotional pain that he put me through.