Never have 3 bottles with pills felt so heavy as Marshall stands there looking at me. I know for sure that he now thinks that I'm snooping around. I know I should just curse him out right now but I'm a little shocked about the fact that I've been busted. I'm so angry about the fact that he has once again lied to me, I'm angry about that he can't just be honest with me and I'm disappointed that he's apparently a drug addict.
"Amelia?" Marshall says asking for answers.
"I was looking for soap." I say.
"It's funny that it's not soap you sit with in your hands." Marshall says.
"It's funny that you've lied to me once again." I say throwing the pills bottles at him in anger as I stand up.
"What the fuck are you talking about?!" He raises his voice at me.
"That's drugs Marshall!" I yell.
"Are you blind?! It's medication!" He fires back. He must think I'm really stupid..
"It's prescription drugs!"
"No Amelia! I had some trouble sleeping awhile back so I took them. I don't even take them anymore!" He says.
"Like when you told me that you didn't do drugs and I caught you sniffing coke in the early morning when we were in LA?" I ask him.
"You know what? Believe what you want." Marshall says as he's about to leave the bathroom.
"Yeah because you ain't gonna tell me the truth anyways." I say.
"I told you the fucking truth." Marshall just says and leaves. I hear him kicking to something in the other room in anger before he then walks downstairs. I look at the pill bottles laying on the floor, I take them, open them and flush them down the toilet. I don't care what he says, this is drugs and I don't believe anything else.
I drop my clothes and sink down into the bathtub, this was suppose to be relaxing but it's not because now I'm just too angry. The Marshall that I know would never lie like he's done lately, maybe those years changed him? Or maybe fame changed him? Maybe I need to talk to Kim about this, just to get it confirmed if these pills are his addiction.
I sit in the bathtub for a good 45 minutes before I get up, I take a towel and wrap it around my body before I head to the bedroom for some clothes. I just put on a dress as we're not doing anything today and then I brush my hair before I go downstairs. When I reach downstairs, I walk into the kitchen where I find Marshall sitting on the couch starring at me, the tv isn't on and he's just sitting on the couch, he's really angry. I stop up and wait for him to say something because I don't think it's me he should say anything.
"Kevin texted you." He says. Shit.. I haven't talked to Kevin after I moved back in with Marshall, but we spoke and texted a lot during the time I stayed with Lucas and Tasha. Kevin is a really good friend to me, he listens and gives me advices, I think that's quite big of him considering that he has feelings for me and he has to hear me egging on about me and Marshall.
"You shouldn't be snooping into my phone." I frown.
"Don't turn this shit on me Amelia. You're talking about how I'm lying but you and Kevin have spoken a lot from what I've seen. He's asking if you're coming back to New York or what." He says.
"I'm.."
"I'm not finish talking." He hisses. "The minute we're having problems then you're running into his arms. Why does this feel like deja vue? I feel like we're arguing about Kevin all the fucking time.."
"Because you're choosing to argue about it!" I cut him off. "You can't accept that he's my friend.."
"He's not your fucking friend, he's your ex fiancé! What part of it is hard to understand?!" Marshall raises his voice now.
"Marshall I have very few friends and very few people I trust and I like to hold on to them I really trust." I explain once again.
"Your plan was to run back to New York and stay with him." Marshall says. He's right but I know that we haven't texted about that so I know that this is him jumping to a conclusion.
"No my plan was to fly back to New York." I say.
"And stay with him." Marshall says once again.
"No, why the fuck would I do that?" I frown.
"Because you have no other option so stop lying." Marshall says and I just roll my eyes at him. He shouldn't give me this speech when he was the one cheating on me. "Either you drop the contact with Kevin or else we can't be together."
"Marshall he's my business partner."
"I don't give a fuck." He says coldly.
"You shouldn't be the one being on my ass about this, not after what you fucking did and what I just found in the bathroom!" I raise my voice now.
"You didn't find shit upstairs!" He raises his voice at me as well. "What you found was sleeping medication!"
"Whatever." I roll my eyes and turn around. I walk out of the living room but I hear Marshall get up from the couch behind me. "Don't follow me." I warn him but I feel him grabbing my arm and spin me around to face him.
"We're not done talking Amelia." He says.
"Yes we are." I say pushing him back by his chest. "You're lying piece of shit." I say.
"I'm a lying piece of shit?" He laughs. "You're the one who won't admit that you still feel something for Kevin." I'm so done with this subject because of course I still love Kevin, it wasn't like we broke up because our relationship was dead, no it was good until Marshall came into my life again and I found out that my feelings for him were way stronger.
"Of course I do!" It flies out of my mouth. "Are you satisfied? Now I said it." Marshall face changes completely and I can see that he's surprised, hurt but also very angry.
"I fucking knew it." He says and slams his knuckles into the wall in anger.
"Marshall stop.." I say taking his arm to prevent him from hitting the wall because I know how much he can end up hurting himself, but Marshall just pushes me away and I know it's much harder than he intended to.
"Fuck you! You've been lying all this fucking time you little whore!" He screams at me now.
"Will you hear me out?" I ask him.
"No, I'm done." He says and spits me in my face before he leaves. I'm so shocked that he just spit me in my face, that's like the worse thing another person can do to you. Normally I would go nuts but I'm just so shocked and I also know that I've really messed up. I don't know if I can ever make this right because I've really fucked up this time. I want to explain it to him, I want him to understand that I would never do something with Kevin, it's Marshall who I wanna be with, but right now Marshall only hangs in that detail that I love Kevin. I feel stupid because I knew that this being partner with Kevin wasn't a good idea deep down but I'm just not ready to cut the contact with him. Wow.. I've put myself in such dilemma.. I walk down to the studio because I really wanna explain to Marshall, I want us to talk about it because it'll only get much worse if we don't clear this. I knock gently on the door before I open it and find Marshall sitting writing lyrics.
"Marshall.."
"Get the fuck out." He cuts me off without looking up from the pad.
"No we need to talk." I say.
"No you need to get the fuck out now before I do something I might regret." He says still not removing his eyes from the pad.
"Are we done?" I ask unsure what all this means.
"It depends on you." Marshall says.
"What does that mean?"
"That you should get the fuck out of my studio now Amelia!" He yells looking at me now with such evil eyes. "We'll talk about it later." My eyes get watery as I stand for a few seconds looking at him. I hope that he'll say something more or that his look in his eyes will change but he doesn't say anything nor does his look change. I leave his studio breaking out in tears as I walk down the hallway.
I decide to walk back to the living room and call Tasha because I need a honest opinion about all of this.
"Yeah." Tasha says when she picks up her phone.
"Are you busy?" I ask her.
"No. What's up?"
"Me and Marshall just had a serious argument. I mean.. I don't know if we're even together anymore."
"What's going on?"
"I found prescription drugs in the bathroom."
"What? Do you think he's addicted or something?"
"Kim told me that he has an addiction but I wouldn't believe her but I'm starting to question it a little after I caught him sniffing back in LA in the morning before he went to the studio."
"Shit.."
"That's not all." I say taking a deep breath. "When I come back down, Marshall confronted me about Kevin because Kevin had texted me. He found out that I considered going back to New York while I was staying with you and Lucas. He kept pushing on about him and claimed that I still had feelings for him so suddenly I exploded and said that I still loved Kevin."
"Oh shit girl, that's so fucking stupid."
"Tasha he knew it already and what did he honestly expected?"
"He expects you to only love him like you should."
"It's not like I wanna be with Kevin, I mean.. I chose Marshall."
"It still hurts."
"I know and I understand."
"I guess it would also be much easier if you weren't in business with him and talked to him on daily basis."
"He shouldn't doubt me, he was the one who cheated."
"You should just cut the contact outta respect for Marshall's feelings."
"I know you're right but it's hard for me because Kevin is really good to talk to."
"But you're Marshall's girlfriend now, you have to think about his feelings and needs."
"So should I just quit the club and obey Marshall's demands just because he's insecure?"
"This ain't about Marshall being insecure or some shit like that, this shit is about you still being in love with your ex fiancé and you need to prove to Marshall that he's the one you want."
"I moved to Detroit, isn't that prove enough?"
"Sorry girl, but you moved to Detroit because you had no other options." Tasha says and I wanna get angry with her but I know that's not the smartest move.
"I think I've already burned my bridges. He spit me in my face Tasha, that proves that you no longer give a fucking about a person."
"That proves that you're a bitch."
"Fine okay! I get it! I've been a little selfish! But you know me, you know me and Marshall; it's constantly a fight for dominance."
"And you just have to lose this one Amelia. If you wanna lose him then fine, but if you wanna make this shit up to him then you have to lose this one."
"Then what about the pills?"
"Man.. I don't think he's addicted to any shit. Hailie and Alaina mean everything to him and he'd never be intoxicated around the girls."
"I flush the pills down the toilet."
"Well.. Then you get your answer if he finds out."
"Yeah I guess you're right." I sigh.
"Where is he now?"
"In the studio."
"Just give him some time and when he's ready to talk then you better follow my advices."
"I will." I promise her.