"Do you still have some of my clothes at your place?" I slumped in my seat.
"Yeah, I do. What happened?" My friend asks.
"None of your business," I snap.
"The one person that I know has always been happy is sitting in my car acting like she's been forced into privacy, into a cage," his voice is low and slow and he speaks but I stay silent. "You've always been like an open book, always talking about your problems when you're hurt."
"Fuck, why did I even call you!" I yell, sitting up now. My focus remains steady out the window in front of me.
"Because no one knows you like I do."
"Did. Like you did."
"So you're saying I don't?"
"People change."
"You haven't," his voice is still calm. "I'm taking you to get some drinks."
"I don't want drinks."
"You'll thank me later."
"Take me back to your place. I want to sleep."
"Nope, drinks first."
"Don't you have some at your place?"
He stays silent for the rest of the ride until we pull up to this ratty old bar. Not just any ratty old bar though. It had some significance to me but I pushed it away to grow dust in the corner of my mind. I marvel at it from my seat in his car, remembering the time I've spent here. I feel a breeze hit me breaking me from my trance. "Come on," he holds his hand out to me and I take it. "You remember this place?"
"Why did you bring me here?" I whine as we walk through the doors.
"Old times sake, I guess." He lead me over to the bar where an older man was standing.
"I didn't think I'd see you two around here again," the man says placing two drinks in front of us. "At least, not together." Between the three of us we exchange smiles. "I still got your drinks memorized," he pushes the drinks a bit closer to us. I take mine and manage to drink about three-fourths of it. "How've you been, Audrey?"
"I've been good. I got my shit back together, working two jobs right now. They're bringing in pretty good pay," I nod to the man.
He raises his brows. "Is that why you don't come around?" I nod again. "You know, if you're ever looking for a third job or some extra money, you're always welcome here."
I laugh at his offer. "I can barely handle college drunks."
"What brings you back here?"
"Him," I say pointing to the guy next to me.
The bartender refills my cup and I down that as quickly as the first one.
"I told you, you could use a drink," my friend laughs in my ear.
"Shut up," I scowl.
"Still dysfunctional as ever I see?" The bartender pipes back in, earning a laugh from the two of us.
"We never were," I manage to say.
++++
I sprawl out onto the couch back at my friends place and he walks past me into his kitchen. "Liam," I call. "I'm ready to talk."
"No, you're not," he calls back to me.
He was right. I didn't want to talk still. Damn, he knows me too well. I hung around him for too long. I met him at that bar we went to tonight. I wandered in there on my first day in California and he was the first person I met. The bartender was right. We are dysfunctional and two people like us shouldn't get along but we do. It's how our friendship worked out.
"I really am though," the alcohol talks.
He makes his way out of the kitchen with a glass of water and hands it to me. "You still drink a lot like crazy," he laughs a bit. I glare at him. "What happened earlier?" He picks up my feet from the couch and sits under them, placing my feet on his lap.
"You know how I am," I shake my head.
"Yes, I do," he nods. "Did you mess something up between two friends?"
I shake my head. "No, not this time and hopefully never again," I laugh at the old memory of him and his friend. "Although, something somewhat similar happened about a month ago but it ended differently."
"So then what's going on?" He asks again.
"There's this boy," I start to say.
"When isn't there one?"
"Let me finish," I say with a bit of humor in my voice. "There's this boy who," I pause and let my thoughts engulf me. "He is, um... He's different." Liam stayed silent but his face twisted a bit. "I met him at a party and he's seem to stick around. Like not just in my life, but in my mind."
"What?" he sounds a bit shocked.
"I keep thinking about him. But he's made me feel things I haven't felt before."
He twists his face again, "Like sex?"
"No!" I hit him playfully. "I'm still a virgin, you bastard. I mean like emotions. I never knew what jealousy felt like until him. I never knew how pathetic I could feel just by a few simple words that really anyone can say but when it came from his lips, it hurt. Right here," I point the middle of my chest. "We didn't talk for almost a month after that until last night. We went out tonight and ran into this other girl," my tone changes just at the thought of Erin. "She's flawless, perfect, nice..."
"She's the one your jealous of?"
"They made plans for tomorrow, for his birthday that I just found out about. Not just the plans, but his birthday. I had no idea it was tomorrow and he asked to hang out with me tomorrow."
"Are you not going to?"
"Why should I? He has plans with miss perfect. He said he couldn't imagine spending his birthday without me."
"And you said?"
"I told him to start imagining it without me. But it's not just that. I have a meeting tomorrow with the sorority council in the house because I broke the rules."
He laughed. "It wouldn't be the first time."
"If I get kicked out, I'll have nowhere to go. God, I hope they don't remember the incident with you last year," I run my hand through my hair.
"I think you should see him for his birthday, even if he has plans with that one girl."
His response catches me a bit off guard. "Why?"
"Because. He seems to mean something to you."
"I don't even know what he means to me."
"I know you built up a wall so you wouldn't feel pain but have you thought that maybe you also blocked out love?"
"You're crazy, Liam," the words spill out in disbelief.
"You know you did."
"I don't need to love anyone."
"Just go see him for his birthday and wear something nice. Remember you two did go out last night. He went out with you not her. You, Audrey."
I swing myself off of his couch and treaded down the hall to his spare room. I didn't want to hear what he had to say anymore. I thought maybe he'd agree with me and take my side like he almost always had but he didn't. Maybe I'm just being ridiculous. I could care less though. I slam the door and land myself on the bed. Everything he said to me races through my brain. Maybe you also blocked out love.
++++++
"Here we are," he says dropping me off at the sorority house. He looks over at me one last time before I get out f the car.
"Thanks for letting me stay the night," I show him a half smile.
"It was nothing," he reassures me. "Good luck with your meeting."
"Thanks," I say quietly. I open the door but before I can get out he grabs my arm.
"Are you seeing him tonight?"
"I think, I don't know."
"Wear that dress," I looked down at my dress. The top was ruffled and a coral color, the bottom was black and the dress itself was form fitting. "It looks good on you," he nods.
"Thanks, Liam," I smile at his comment and he lets go of my arm.
I walk up to the house and take a deep breath as I open the door. Morgan was sitting on the couch waiting for me, I'm sure. She stood and asked me to follow her. We walked into a spare room that had been transformed into a conference room for meetings like this. The room wasn't very big but it worked for it's purpose. "Where were you last night?" Morgan asks me as we both take a seat.
"A friends house," I reply keeping a straight face.
"You know why you're in here, right?"
"Well, I'm not stupid."
"But you are hung over." Shit, she can tell. "I'm not stupid either," she pulled out a file folder and searched through some papers. "This isn't your first time breaking this rule."
"You have it documented?"
"On November 17, last year, a man left your room at noon."
"Just give it to me," I relax a bit.
"Probation."
"Probation?" My voice comes out as surprised.
"If you break another rule, you're out of here. Sorry, Audrey, but that's the way it is. Not mention, you're here completely hung over."
I rolled my eyes and stood from my seat. I left the room which I probably shouldn't have done but I needed a banana. I went into the kitchen and thankfully there was one left. My mind went back to last night and what Liam said about going to see Niall. As I felt my headache disappear, I decided that maybe I should go see him but I wasn't going to go to him without a gift. I ran back up to my room and changed into a regular shirt and a pair of shorts. I grabbed my keys and my purse and set out to a near by soccer shop.
++++
I took one last look at what I got Niall; an Ireland soccer jersey and an Irish flag. I placed them into a rather large back then covered them with tissue paper. I stepped away from the bag and took one last look at myself in the mirror. I was wearing the dress Liam had told me to wear and a pair of simple black heels. I took a deep breath and turned away. I grabbed his gift bag, my car keys and my purse and headed down stairs.
I arrived to the frat house Niall had just moved into yesterday at about 10:30. His car was here which made me feel a bit more relieved because I'd feel stupid if he wasn't here and I had brought him a gift. I took my phone out of my purse and sent him a quick text.
Me:
Come outside.
I set my phone back on my purse and got out of my car with the bag in hand. I waited at the end of the walk way to their front door. Before I knew it, the door swung open and the blonde boy appeared. He seemed shocked to see me. "Happy birthday," I smile to him as he wraps me up in a hug.
"I thought I wouldn't see you today," he pulled me as close as he possibly could.
"I got something for you," I told him as he let go of me. He began to tell me that I didn't have to but I told him I wanted to.
"You look great, Audrey."
"Let's go out, my treat."
He seemed to get a bit uncomfortable. "Erin is still here."
"Oh," I drop my head a bit at his words.
"You can come in. We're just watching a movie."
I try to swallow my jealousy. "No, no, it's fine," I choke out. "I don't want to intrude on your night."
"Please stay?" he asks.
"I'll be at the park if you need me," I hand him the bag containing his gifts.
"Audrey," he says to me catching my attention from leaving him. "Just let me take her back to her place. I really want to spend time with you."
"I'll be at the park, Niall." The words sound harsher than intended but I didn't care too much. I walked back to my car and drove off to the park.
There was this gazebo there decorated in Christmas lights there and I took a seat inside it. The lights made the place look beautiful even if it was just in the middle of a park. When Niall said he was still with Erin, I didn't know what to think. I didn't even know what to feel. In fact, it was like I felt nothing. Like I was numb to the hurt but I knew I wasn't. I didn't want to hear that he was still with her. But it is what it is I suppose.
"Audrey?" Niall's voice pulled me from my thoughts.
I watched as he came and sat beside me. He was now dressed in different clothes than what I saw him in earlier. He wore a pair of slacks and a maroon button up shirt. The sight of him made my heart flutter. He looked good. I could see the lights reflecting in his eyes causing them to shine more than normal.
"Is everything okay?" He asks me.
I nod. "It's been and interesting weekend, I guess you can say," I copy how he's sitting, leaning forward with an elbow on my knee, making sure my legs are still crossed. "I'm glad you came here."
"Why wouldn't I?" He seems to be taken aback by my words.
"I've been sitting here for about forty-five minutes. I was thinking you wouldn't show."
"I was getting dressed."
"You didn't have to," I smile. "You look nice though."
"There's something I want you to know," he says to me and I feel my smile disappear. "I know you may think there's something still between Erin and I but you need to know that there isn't anything between her and I."
"Niall," I begin to say but he interrupts me.
"There's more I'd like to tell you," his words come out shaky and he fiddles with his hands nervously. "I really do like you. You're different than everyone else I've ever met and somehow," he stops his sentence. "I don't even know how to put this. You're everything I could hope for in a significant other. You're beautiful, carefree, even when we weren't talking I felt like I could always count on you to be there. We have similar interests, too. There's so much that finding a place to start telling you is a lot more difficult than I thought."
"Niall, you know I'm not settling," I shake my head.
"I know, I know you don't date and you're not into it. But I just want you to know how I feel."
"How do you know?" I ask him. "How is it so easy for you to know how you feel? But I can't even comprehend how to handle jealousy?"
"It's something new to you. And even though I know you're unsure, I know you like me too."
"I wouldn't go that far with it."
"You do though, you just aren't admitting it yourself."
"How do you know?"
"If you didn't, would we be here right now?"
His words settled in my head. Would we be here? No. He had a point there. After swimming around in this idea, I take a look into the boys eyes. "Happy birthday, Niall," I smile to him.
"I'm glad I get to spend the last few minutes of it with you."
There it was. The fluttering in my heart that never seems to get old. The fluttering that never seems to go away. The fluttering that's been here since I first met him. It made me happy. I was happy because of someone else. He's right, this is something new to me. Maybe I could get use to this.
Maybe. Just maybe.