*Reader had Sluggish Cognitive Tempo in this fic— Bisha-chan isn't familiar with it either but will try her best.
"I-Is this good enough, maybe?..." Hijikata awkwardly picks up a bouquet of roses.
"Can I help you choose something for your girlfriend?" The clerk pops out of nowhere making Hijikata flinch.
''G-Girlfriend?! W-Well, she's not my girlfriend yet...I mean she doesn't even know I like her but I mean I could confess—"
Hijikata starts rambling on while blushing, when it came to the topic of (Y/N)— Hijikata would always turn into a blushing mess.
"Yeah, no one cares about your love life Hijikata-san. You're gonna end up alone anways." Okita grabs the bouquet in Hijikata's hand and pushes it into the clerk's hands.
"We'll take this," Okita pulls out a wallet and pays for it, "By the way, for completely no reason do you have a bucket of thorns you removed from the roses?"
"You're paying for it? That's unlike you, Sougo." Hijikata says, "But then again— it is for (Y/N)..."
"Me? Oh no, you're paying for it Hijikata-san." Okita smiles, returning Hijikata's wallet to him— although empty.
"AH! Sougo, you—!!"
Why was Hijikata buying flowers? The reason was, earlier that day they arrested Gintoki for walking around with an ugly face— so Hijikata expected that (Y/N) would come bail him out.
After all, the two were close childhood friends. (Y/N) lived with Gintoki in their humble house, and that was when Hijikata met her.
And so, both Hijikata and Gintoki have been in a fierce competition for (Y/N)'s attention ever since.
"Oi! Let me out you mayonnaise monster! I didn't even do anything!" Gintoki yells from the cell when Hijikata and Sougo arrived.
"Why the hell do you have flowers?— This bastard! You planned this just to get (Y/N)'s attention?!"
"Shut up, you criminal." Hijikata scoffs at Gintoki and then picks up the phone to inform (Y/N) about Gintoki's whereabouts.
"Hello?....Who is this,"
(Y/N)'s tired voice was heard through the phone, followed by a yawn— meaning she just woke up.
"Oh, uhm...(Y/N)-san this is Hijikata from the Shinsengumi..."
Hijikata couldn't keep his heart still, his voice and hands were shaking— a little blush spread over his cheeks while Gintoki was shouting profanities behind him.
"Oh? Shinsengumi...We're not criminals, we haven't done anything. We're innocent."
"N-No! Of course not! (Y/N), yiou're an angel— I-I mean, ahem! I'm calling to inform you that sugar freak is jailed here."
"Oh? Gin-chan is? Hm...well, Toshi-chan thank you for your service"
"My service? Ahahahah! Any time for you, so uh...what time will you drop by to bail him out?"
"...Well, it sounds like a pain....Gin-chan is a big man he can handle himself— I'm gonna go sleep..."
"Sleep well— I-I mean what? You're not gonna bail him out?!"
"....It's too much of a bother to go all the way there just for that idiot to wound up back there."
It was half-true, actually— it was a plan devised by Hijikata. He would arrest Gintoki on even numbers of the day so he would get to see (Y/N) without actually being obvious.
What Hijikata failed to take into account was that (Y/N) extremely hated being bothered. In this month alone, Gintoki had been arrested 16 times.
"But...uh...what do we do with him..."
"Lock him up for eternity. Make sure he never sees the light of day— I'll take good care of the kids and the house...and the dog.."
(Y/N) kept yawning in between her words and sighs loudly.
"Ugh, what a pain— Fine, I'll come down there."
"Alright. Looking forward to seeing you, be safe "
Hijikata acted nonchalant but as soon as the call was ended he grins as he clenches a fist in the air.
"I get to see her again today..!!"
"Ugh, what a bastard." Gintoki spews from his cell, "Hey you mayo monster— You can't keep doing this to me!"
"You won't have to do this long, you sugar freak." Hijikata grins evilly at Gintoki. "When (Y/N) and I get married, you'll disappear from our sights."
"WHO SAYS YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED?! I'M THE ONE (Y/N) WILL MARRY!"
"Hah! As if! Wait and see— I'll be the one she says yes to!"
After a little while, (Y/N) arrived— dressed only in a light camisole and a cardigan. Her hair was messed up, obviously she just woke up and didn't bother fixing her attire.
Hijikata blushes when he sees how light she dressed— and yet she still looked so gorgeous.
"(Y/N)!" Gintoki yells protectively, but a similar blush was covering his cheeks as well. "Why did you go out wearing that?! Are you an idiot?"
"An idiot," (Y/N) huffs, she points at Gintoki. "I should be saying that to you! How could you get arrested so many times.!!"
"It's not even my fault?? That mayo monster is the one to blame! He keeps arresting me so he can get close to y—"
"A-Ah!!! Right, (Y/N)! Here! These are for you— I found them lying around..." Hijikata hands her the bouquet and she smiles softly, taking them into her hands.
"You're so sweet, Toshi-chan." (Y/N) smiles at Hijikata warmly, "—Unlike a certain idiot that does nothing but get arrested."
"Wha—" Gintoki's mouth gaped, "He planned all this..!!" Gintoki points to Hijikata and (Y/N) sighs.
"You know what, this is the last time I'm bailing you out! The next time you get arrested go break out of prison yourself..!!"
Hijikata goes to unlock Gintoki's cell to release him while (Y/N) had been shaking her head as if disapproving the act.
"For your punishment, carry me all the way back home. My legs are tired, I wanna sleep."
(Y/N) lifted her arms up to let Gintoki carry her, and he did— quite so easily.
Gintoki gave Hijikata a smug look and proceeded to walk home.
"I won." Gintoki mouths to Hijikata before sticking his tongue out and disappearing.
"That sugar freak....." Hijikata clenches his fist— jealousy bubbling up inside him.
----
"Who is it?"
Hijikata shifted nervously when he hears (Y/N)'s voice. This time he gathered up the courage to go straight to (Y/N)'s house (essentially, also Gintoki's house)
"I'm sorry, no one's at home right now...." (Y/N) half-heartedly yells from inside.
Hijikata sighs, knowing it was because she thought it was too much of a bother to stand up and open the door.
"It's me, Hijikata. I'm coming in (Y/N)." Hijikata says as he enters the house and lets himself inside.
"Oh, Toshi-chan. It was just you," (Y/N) smiles in relief, "I thought it was gonna be a client."
"Is no one home with you here?" Hijikata asks, looking around as he sits opposite of (Y/N) who was sprawled on the sofa.
"Yeah, Gin-san and the others went to go do a job." She yawns, "I stayed back because....I didn't feel like it and it's cold outside."
"Looks like it," Hijikata smiles warmly at her, (Y/N) is known to hate anything that bothers her— she especially hates it when someone interrupts her precious sleep.
Suddenly, he notices how (Y/N) had been looking at her with wide curious eyes, as if she...wanted something.
'W-What is it? (Y/N) looks so cute right now. What does she want? I'll give her the whole world! I'll give her all my mayonnaise!'
"Toshi-chan, you look warm....Can I sleep with you?"
"W-What?!" Hijikata gasps, cheeks immediately turning red— Hijikata, the virgin, was absolutely mistaken.
'S-S-Sleep with me?! She wants to do that already?! I-I mean I have no problen but isn't it too quick?!'
"Can I?"
"....Sure." Hijikata says averting his eyes, when (Y/N) grins and stands up.
She makes her way over to Hijikata, who sat upright in his seat, and sat down on his lap. She curled up in his arms, finding the warmth from Hijikata's large body satisfying.
"Ah...so warm~" She cooes as she snuggles her head on Hijikata's chest, still seated on his lap.
"Zzzzz....."
Then she fell asleep.
'T-THAT'S IT?!'
Hijikata's jaw drops, but as he looks down to see (Y/N)'s peaceful sleeping face a soft look appears on his face.
Slowly, he brings his arms around her waist to pull her closer and make sure she doesn't fall— For her, he could stay in that position for a whole week.
"Mhm....." (Y/N)'s eyebrow furrows deep and she slowly blinks her eyes to look at Hijikata.
Under her gaze, he grew nervous.
"....Stop smoking, Toshi-chan." She frowns, grabbing the cigarette from his lips. "It's not good for your health and I can't sleep."
"O-Oh...sorry," Hijikata says, (Y/N) flicks the cigarette somewhere and then falls asleep once more.
'I'LL STOP SMOKING FOR YOU!!!'
Hijikata gulped thickly, he couldn't help but admire (Y/N). She was so beautiful and so precious, he wanted nothing more than to hold her in his arms like this forever.
Soon, Hijikata fell asleep too— he was woken up when Gintoki started pulling on his hair.
"OW— YOU BASTARD—"
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOME!— HOW DARE YOU—"
".....Gin-chan, get lost." (Y/N) murmurs as she snuggles against Hijikata's chest. "Toshi-chan's my new pillow warmer, and if you do anything to him I will kill you."
"....What?" Gintoki gasps dramatically, "B-But (Y/N), aren't I your pillow warmer?..."
He couldn't believe he got replaced so easily!
"L-Look! Come into Gin-san's arms! I'm warmer than he is..!!"
"I'm sleeping, go away and don't interrupt me."
"(Y/N) has....forsaken me?!" Gintoki gasps as he falls to the floor dramatically while Hijikata was smugly watching him.
"I won," Hijikata whispers ever so slightly in a teasing manner.
----
".....Gin-chan......"
(Y/N) whines when she wakes up, finding the futon empty. Her heater had disappeared while she was sleeping.
Begrudgingly, she stood up and wrapped a small blanket around her shoulders as she exits the room to search for Gintoki.
"....Gin," She whines, spotting the man cooking something up— wearing his frilly pink apron.
"Hey, why are you up?" Gintoki softly cooes when (Y/N) approaches him.
(Y/N) quietly lay her chin on Gintoki's shoulder and pouted, "What are you cooking? It smells good."
"Hm," Gintoki smirks, "You know I'm the best cook around! Here, taste it!"
Gintoki proudly scoops up a few and feeds her while (Y/N) gladly opened her mouth and tasted it.
"It's delicious~" She nods happily, then wraps her arms around Gintoki's waist.
"Will you come back to bed after? I'm sleepy and cold....I need you, Gin-chan." She pouts and Gintoki's heart almost leaped out his chest.
'A-Aren't we like an old married couple?! I do! I totally do!!'
"S-Sure, just let me finish this."
"Yay~ I'll be waiting for you, Gin-chan~"
"I swear....(Y/N), you'll be the death of me." Gintoki groans as he runs his hand through his face.
But Gintoki and Hijikata's rivarly couldn't stay the same forever— so, when Hijikata arrested Gintoki once more Gintoki broke free and the two found themselves at the courtyard.
"You mayo monster— I've had enough of you hanging around my (Y/N)! Let's settle this once and for all!" Gintoki yells at Hijikata, the broken handcuff still cuffed on his wrist.
"Heh. How brave, but you're delusional if you think you stand a chance against me..!!" Hijikata fires back with a smirk.
As the two of them brandish their swords— (Y/N) appeared out of nowhere, her blanket over her shoulders.
"Hey, what's going on here..." She looks between Hijikata and Gintoki who both freeze in place.
The two exchange glances and then quickly hid their swords.
"Oh, we were uh...discussing the best way to clean the courtyard, haha!" Gintoki laughs.
"R-Right! Cleaning duties, it's the most important duty!" Hijikata laughs, "But why are you here, (Y/N)?"
"...Oh, well...Sou-chan called me saying you two were fighting...so I came down here..."
She sighs and looks down, "Well...you're both here so I guess I should talk to you two about it."
"About what?" Gintoki and Hijikata both grew nervously as they face her.
"I've thought long and hard about this one— and I finally arrived at an answer," (Y/N) smiles at them softly. "But, I really can't choose between you two.
"W-Wait....(Y/N), are you perhaps talking about—"
"...Sou-chan told me," (Y/N) cut him off and Hijikata clenched his fist, irritated that Sougo had been messing with their love troubles.
"(Y/N), what exactly did Sougo tell you?"
(Y/N) blinks innocently as she tilts her head to the side.
"Sou-chan told me you two were wusses who couldn't confess their feelings to me."
"THAT IDIOT—"
"I'M GONNA KILL HIM—"
"Gin-chan, you're carefree— the exact opposit of Toshi-chan who's strict and upright. So see? I can't choose!"
"So....who is it, (Y/N)?"
(Y/N) grins at them and laughs, "Why choose when I can have you both? I love you two!!"
Gintoki and Hijikara's jaw drops in disbelief, a priceless look plastered on their faces.
"....Does that mean..."
"You want both of us?..."
"Exactly! You get it! Aw, come here!" She brings her arms up to pull them both into a hug.
Gintoki and Hijikata share a glance and sigh, there was no other way around it. They may not stand each other but with (Y/N) in the middle, it'll be bearable.
"....Bisha definitely put that thought in her mind..."
"That evil woman, she was probably too lazy to make a route for each of us..."
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BISHA-CHAN'S NOTES :
Hello~~~ So, uhm, I counted wrong....THIS is the real 199th chapter 😂 The next update will be the 200th chapter. Btw this is secretyellowday 's request. How is it? You might've expected it to appear in the 3rd book, but it miraculously made it here in the 2nd book! I hope you like it!
Next chapter is the real 200th chapter!!
Stay safe and healthy everyone!~