The soft bedding in her own room was much more comfortable than what Viserra had been sleeping on while traveling. Though her physical comfort was indeed better, it was not enough to shake the eerie emptiness of the castle.
Elia had brought the usual morning spread of food and tea to rouse her from her slumber, but she had already been sitting at her bedside awake. She found she did not have too much of an appetite and dressed herself shortly after finishing what she could stomach. Yesterday's promise to the children weighed heavily on her mind, just as well as her curiosity of how Helaena had fared.
Upon exiting her rooms, she found a bit of normalcy with the guard now standing there. Thankful that Helaena's chambers were not far from hers, it did not take her much time to find the Queen's doors. The Queensguard granted her entrance and she cautiously stepped into the chambers, noting that the atmosphere seemed heavier than usual.
The children were not there, but Helaena sat quietly by the window sill in an unnatural stillness. Delicate fragrances of burning candles brought a bit of pleasantry to the uneasiness and Viserra proceeded to approach the Queen with caution.
"Helaena?" She called. "I have returned." Her voice was quiet in hopes to not startle the girl.
Helaena did not make any acknowledgment that she had heard her or even noticed her presence.
Taking in a deep breath, Viserra brought herself even closer to the Queen. "I came to look for the little ones. I promised a visit to the gardens today."
Eventually, Helaena turned her eyes towards her, and for a moment, the room held an indiscernible tension. Her expression was lost, veiled behind the complexities of her own mind. "The gardens," she finally breathed.
"Yes, Jaehaera was delighted by the prospect of me spending time with her." Viserra continued to tread carefully, seeing that Helaena was struggling to pull herself from her own little world.
"Thank you," she spoke, giving her a small smile through the pained expression.
Viserra nodded and returned the gesture, hesitantly reaching out and placing her hand on Helaena's arm. She was thankful when she seemed to relax under the touch, leaving her to wonder how often anyone tried to really connect or pull her from her complicated mind.
"You have all returned safely," Helaena spoke, the words more of a statement rather than a question. For a moment, Viserra seemed puzzled. Had they truly kept the Queen in the dark about everything? Of course they had, reminding herself that her mother protected her at all costs.
"I have returned," she began, "but Aemond left last eve to join Aegon at Rook's Rest where they lay siege to the city."
Helaena's eyes widened and she looked sharply to her face. The sudden shift in her demeanor took her by surprise, though she did not understand why. She watched as her features contorted into a mixture of fear and anxiety, the air in the room growing heavier by the second.
Viserra held on firmly to the Queen's arms, attempting to ground her and bring her even the littlest bit of comfort. "What is wrong?" She asked, searching her face for an answer, worried it would not be something she wanted to hear.
"You left him?" Helaena asked, her voice suddenly panicked.
"Aemond is with him," Viserra emphasized. "Atop Vhagar's back he is more than capable of protecting them all."
Helaena only continued to stare, her gaze burning right through her and bringing another wave of unsurety.
"It was Cole's plan to send me back, I am to stay to protect us here in King's Landing." Viserra did not know why she felt so defensive but she was sure that something was not right. "Helaena, Aemond reassured me that he will oversee Aegon and make sure he-"
"If you leave him, he will burn." Helaena interrupted, her voice firm.
Perplexed, she searched the Queen's eyes for some clarity, but she only repeated the phrase with a growing sense of urgency.
"If you leave him, he will burn."
The memory flashed through her mind when she and Aemond had visited her after little Jaehaerys's death. The echo of the same ominous phrase came back as if it had just happened. She had vowed that she would not fail them. Desperately, she tried to reassure Helaena that it had not been a mistake to leave him there, but found that she was now unsure of her own decision.
They both looked into eachothers faces, gripping the others' arms. Viserra now bore an equal amount of concern and panic as she tried to find reason and reassurance somewhere in her mind. The tension had brought so much anxiety that she did not even hear the doors open behind her and the footsteps rushing into the room.
Alicent had come to her daughter's side, her presence suddenly commanding attention. Seeing Helaena's anguish, she immediately began to try and comfort the girl, tearing her from Viserra's arms and surrounding her in her own embrace.
A sense of helplessness settled over as she watched Helaena retract back into mind despite her mother's attempts at consoling her. Alicent's gaze shifted to Viserra for a moment, her eyes demanding an explanation for the distress that had come upon her daughter.
"What happened here?" She questioned.
"I-I do not know." Viserra stuttered, trying to regain her own composure.
Overwhelmed by the intensity of the moment, Viserra felt the weight of uncertainty pressed down on her. Unable to provide the dowager queen with a satisfactory answer, she turned and fled the room.
The corridors of Maegor's Holdfast offered little solace and in turn they felt suffocating. Without a clear destination in mind, she found herself instinctively drawn to the Keep's library. The scent of old books and the quietness that held the space gave her room to find both her breath and her thoughts.
Finding a place in front of the stained glass window, she looked into the colors while trying to process what had just happened. How could she have forgotten Helaena's words? She knew that something did not feel right with a great distance between them all, but it had become difficult to discern what feelings were rational or what was just lust and longing.
Viserra leaned her body weight on the window sill while forcing her breathing to slow. It was not as if she had a choice in the matter. She reassured herself just how impossible it would have been to try and defy the plans put in place without her input. Even Aemond had seemed to know more than she did, most likely stemming from his close relationship with the Hand.
The thought crossed her mind that it was only a few hours on dragonback to Rook's Rest. She could fly back and explain to him Helaena's words and their need to remain close to one another. However, the challenge remained of convincing Cole her actions were not an attempt to undermine him. She knew the man harbored distrust for her and would not respond well to any deviation from the plans.
Part of her questioned her own sanity for placing such gravity on Helaena's words. Yet, every piece of doubt was forcefully pushed back down as she recalled the instances where they had undeniably come to pass. She did not understand how the girls' dreams had been ignored for so long, even by her own mother who was determined to protect her so fiercely.
For the first time, Viserra felt wildly out of control. She felt hot tears forming in the corners of her eyes but she fought them back and reigned it in before more than a few could escape. Over the passing moments alone, she pulled herself together, the anxiety and fear turning into anger at those far away on Dragonstone.
Viserra did not miss the sounds of the doors opening this time. She recognized the quiet footsteps of the dowager queen as they made their way across the library floor. Turning slowly to meet her, she wiped the wetness from her eyes and prepared herself for an unnecessary scolding.
"I did not mean to upset her," Viserra began, trying to gain the upperhand on the conversation.
"It is best if we do not bother her with the current happenings in the Realm," Alicent said dismissively. Her expression was hardened but Viserra could also see that she carried concern over the situation. "Helaena's mind is addled with confusion and nonsense. It has only worsened since the death of my grandson."
Viserra stood her ground, upset at the bladent dismissal. "With all due respect, I have seen the truth in her visions. We are fools to ignore the things that she speaks."
Alicent's skepticism remained unyielding. "Do not let your feelings cloud your judgment. The late King also put too much weight on the idea that dreams could become prophecies. It is something that led him astray from the realities set in his lap."
Viserra's brows furrowed in continued frustration. "These dreams you speak of as if they are fantasy, they are known to be gifts to some with Valyrian blood."
"My dear," she coddled, reaching out to Viserra as if to comfort her own madness as she did her daughter. "You speak of-"
Viserra interrupted her as she revolted away from the woman's touch. "I speak of the same blood magic that binds me to my very dragon. Such dreams may not be as common as the ability to bond with these beasts, but you are a fool to dismiss such things when each of your children have tamed creatures that would devour anyone else in their attempt to do so."
Both women held each other's gaze bearing heated misunderstanding towards the other. But it was Alicent's demeanor that shifted first, her surprised expression settling into one of exhausted concern.
"My dear, I too share a great deal of worry for the King," she began. "But those that influence and carry weight behind the crown must remain strong and clear in mind."
"If you leave him, he will burn." Viserra spoke, repeating the Queen's words for Alicent to hear.
"What?" She asked, staring back with her own eyebrows furrowed.
"It is something that Helaena has said to me twice now. She became distraught this morning once she realized I left Aegon in battle." It was Viserra's last attempt at making Alicent see her side with more clarity.
Her face still carried a considerable amount of doubt, but concern sparked within her own mind as she toyed with that possibility. "Viserra," she uttered, making another attempt to gently grasp at her arms.
"What if she is right?" She retorted. "What if leaving Aegon there was a mistake?"
Alicent let out a sharp breath, relieved that Viserra did not pull away from her touch this time.
"I have considered flying to Rook's Rest to ensure Aegon's safety and bring him back," she explained. "Aemond is more than capable in defending them alone. They have almost three-thousand men there in arms."
Alicent's brows furrowed and she revealed a deeper worry beneath the surface. "That is not an option. A raven arrived this morning from Dragonstone, promising more violence if we do not give up the city and reminding us that our dragons are outnumbered by theirs. If they know that the city is not guarded, they might take it as an opportunity to seize the throne."
Viserra's concern split into two and her internal struggle intensified. She was torn between the actual threats coming from the Blacks and the words whispered by Helaena. The air in the library no longer felt like a place of solace and Viserra's mind began racing once more.
As if Alicent knew that she might doubt her words, she retrieved the paper from the folds of her gown and handed it over to Viserra. As she read the letter in front of her, she realized that the dowager queen was indeed telling the truth. The information sank in, weighing the gravity that each choice would have.
"This threat is real, we cannot afford to let our guard down and you possess the only dragon that could defend us here at this moment." Alicent looked at her with sternness and empathy alike.
"So we sit, wait here for word from Rook's Rest, and hope for the best?" She asked, but she already knew the answer to her question. If only she had been able to talk with Helaena and understand what she saw that led her to those damning words.
Alicent took back the letter and tucked it safely in her dress before reaching out to grasp Viserra's hand. "Come," she beckoned. "I know you had wanted to take the children to the gardens. Let us fetch them and give respite to our worry if only for a brief moment."
Viserra looked to her before letting out a breath she didn't realize she had been holding. In truth, the last thing she wanted to do was remain in her presence, but she did not disagree that it would be both comforting and distracting to spend time with the little prince and princess. Pulling her hand away, she nodded in agreement.
The walk to the gardens was made in silence with Viserra staying a few paces behind the dowager queen. The sun painted itself all throughout the gardens while Maelor's giggling echoed around the shrubbery. The flowers, though beautiful, did not mask the heavy atmosphere that hung over Viserra's thoughts and she had to continually bring herself back to the present moment. Jaehaera remained nestled within herself, eyes distant and hesitant to engage her brother in play.
Viserra found herself kneeling beside the child, attempting to coax her into enjoying the afternoon. She picked a few delicate flowers, offering them as a gift, but the little hands only clutched at them and held them close to her chest.
As the afternoon's sun began to cast long shadows in the garden, Viserra found herself rather content sitting next to the quiet girl in silence. Jaehaera remained grounded by her side, seeming to work through her own inner thoughts while they enjoyed each other's company.
Once Maelor's laughter turned into tired fussiness, Alicent called for the nursemaid and began to request preparations for their supper. In truth, Viserra had forgotten that the children would need to eat at some point, as her own appetite had been chased away by the gnawing of her inner turmoil.
With a light kiss to the top of Jaehaera's head, she departed from the children and took leave for her own chambers. The warmth of the day was replaced by the cool damp air of the castle but she was so relieved to only be in her own company that it did not bother her in the least.
Within the comfort of her own rooms, the warm glow of fire danced along the walls and drew her in. The girls had recently fed the flames making the intensity and brightness of the heat greater than usual. Viserra found a full decanter of wine and small finger foods laid out on the table and she took a moment to appreciate her chambermaids ability to anticipate her needs.
Pouring herself a cup of wine, she sat on the furs before the fire. The gentle warmth surrounded her body, providing both the sense of security and pleasant heat she enjoyed most. As she lifted the cup to her lips, the rich taste of wine offered a welcomed distraction. Yet it would not give her reprieve from the weight of Helaena's words that morning. The day's memories played over in her mind, bouncing from Helaena to the enjoyable time she had spent with the children.
With each sip, Viserra realized that she truly could not make a choice without the risk of great consequences. She had been given the responsibility of defending the Keep and it was her sense of duty that kept her anchored there. Part of her did not want to admit that Alicent had been right, they could not ignore the letter that had arrived that morning and put more weight on Helaena's words.
A letter arrived by raven the following day detailing their progress in Rook's Rest. The opposing castle would be low on their rations at that point and their army had all but destroyed everything outside of the castle walls. The words had eased a small part of Viserra's worries, though she knew that it was unknown if Rhaenyra would find the city valuable enough to send defenses. With their losses minimal and the men still in good spirits, she remained hopeful that it would only continue that way.
Viserra did not find herself in Helaena's company again over the next few days. Part of her had worried she would upset the Queen but mostly she could not wash herself of the guilt that she did not heed to her words. Instead, she made it a point to spend time with the children and was pleasantly surprised to find that Jaehaera began to open out of her shell with the consistency of her presence.
On the fifth night since her return to King's Landing, Viserra found herself drowning in the midst of courtly affairs. Lord and Lady Redwyne had arrived from the Reach, bringing their company and gifts to show their allegiance and also a few problems they hoped the crown would help to solve. The conversations were dull and she was forced to dodge the relentless inquiries they had about any betrothal for her. Halfway through the meal, she found herself silently praying for the evening's end and took ultimately took refuge in her cup of wine.
"Your Grace." A voice from the doors spoke out, interrupting the small conversations happening around the room. The monotony of the night was suddenly shattered. "Vhagar has been spotted flying over the city."
As soon as the words left his mouth, both Viserra and Alicent found themselves on their feet. Excitement and relief surged through her body and they excused themselves from the table and followed the guard out.
The long winding hallways seemed to take longer than usual to navigate, both eager to greet the men once they came through the gates. Breathless, they finally descended the steps into the courtyard just as the castle gates were lifted from the ground. Anticipation hung in the air as one silver haired prince came into view.
The sense of relief suddenly shifted into worry when they took in Aemond's disheveled appearance and saw the intense and unreadable expression painted across his face. The breath was sucked from Viserra's lungs as she realized she had seen him look this way once before on the night of Lucerys' death.
Aemond walked in their direction but seemed to be looking right through them. Alicent began to address him, but Viserra's hearing quickly began to dull and her heartbeat soon was the only thing she could hear. There could only be one reason that Aegon had not returned alongside him. A sense of dread hung over her and Viserra tried to grapple at the horrific thoughts running through her head.
Alicent was undeterred by her son's dismissive demeanor, persisting until she obtained the information desired. "Aemond, what has happened? Where is Aegon?" Her voice was demanding yet also still laced with desperation.
Aemond finally turned to face her, but his expression remained cold. "Rook's Rest is ours. Rhaenys and her dragon have been defeated. But Aegon has been injured."
Viserra felt herself release the trapped breath out of her lungs. Relief washed over her at the confirmation that Aegon was still alive but it was quickly replaced by a new wave of worry for the state of his well being.
"Injured?" Alicent pressed. "To what degree? Where is he now?"
"Sunfyre cannot fly. I do not know the extent of Aegon's injuries." Aemond growled, still pulling away each time his mother tried to reach out to him. Not willing to subject himself to any more interrogation, he turned to continue inside the castle walls with Alicent right on his heels.
Viserra remained in the courtyard for a few more moments, attempting to process the news before finding herself face to face with anyone else. Aegon's injuries must have been severe if he could not fly back with Aemond on Vhagar. A wave of pain came to her chest at the thought. She had to acknowledge that the whole situation was now beyond her control in order to pull herself together. It would do no good to dwell on what might have been. Instead, it was now time to prevent any further damage to the ones she loved...and listening to Helaena would most certainly be a place to start.