"My heart......?"
"Yes......"
There was silence between them for a moment.
Killian had guessed that Lizé knew how he felt. But saying it out loud was another matter entirely.
Lizé looked calm and yet somehow sad.
"I couldn't pretend to not know," she said, "but because I am an illegitimate child...... I have nothing to give you."
Killian was taken aback.
'Lizé...... are you saying you were in love with me too?'
If this is true, Killian had gotten into a very unjust marriage.
"But you and...... Cliff......"
"I am grateful that Cliff finds me adorable, even if it does scare me sometimes......"
"Ha......"
Killian put a hand to his forehead, feeling his head spin.
Countless moments flashed before his eyes that could have been a sign from Lizé.
"If I weren't an illegitimate child, do you think...... things could have been different?"
The question was tinged with sadness, and Killian stiffened, not knowing what to do.
Really, if Lizé weren't an illegitimate child, if she hadn't been as insecure, if she could have accepted my love more openly, would anything have been different?
"I'm afraid you'll get hurt in this territorial war."
"Don't worry, it's not even something worthy of the name war."
"But if you get hurt...... I......"
Tears glistened in her eyes.
But in that moment, Killian's mind flashed back to Edith.
"I don't want to be a widow already at this age."
Edith had said she was worried about him, but for the silliest of reasons.
But Killian found Edith's playful expression more poignant than Lizé's tearful concern.
At the same time, memories of the past replayed in his mind.
There were many moments when I thought to myself that Lizé was in love with me, but there were even more moments when I realized that I was mistaken.
Her smile was brighter with Cliff than it was with me, the two of them were much more intimate without me, and even with the three of us, I sometimes felt left out.
'And she loved me? That's kind of crazy......'
Then Killian realized he'd guessed wrong again.
Lizé never told me she loved me, she just said, 'I knew your heart.'
'I've almost made a stupid mistake again. No, I mean, is this what Lizé intended......?'
Killian shook his head, his brow furrowing slightly.
But the moment Lizé stepped up to him, even the cool-headed Killian couldn't help but panic.
"Lizé......?"
"Before you leave, can't you just kiss me once?"
It was a temptation that was hard to refuse for anyone.
Everything about Lizé was tempting: her moist eyes, her exposed shoulders, her hand on Killian's forearm.
The ray of sunlight he'd been craving for the past five years was shining on him for the first time, and it wanted him now. She wants him.
"Lizé......"
If Lizé had approached him half a year earlier, Killian would have kissed her without a second thought.
But the Killian of today is not the Killian of the past.
He smiled weakly and flicked Lizé's forehead with his fingertips.
"Killian......?"
"You don't have to say it like you're sending someone off to die, you idiot."
That alone shattered the strange atmosphere between them at once.
"I assure you. It will take less than a month for the war to be won or lost. The only reason this war happened in the first place is because my father hid our military power so thoroughly. He waited for them to make the first move."
"Ah......"
"I think you and Edith are getting a little too anxious at the mention of war."
Killian's expression was devoid of the slightest hint of regret, and at the name 'Edith' Lizé's face fell in disappointment.
Killian noticed, but pretended not to.
"Don't worry, just get some sleep. Come on, I'll walk you to your room."
"Oh, no, I'll go back by myself."
Normally, Killian would have offered one or two more times even if Lizé had refused, but he realized that she might be embarrassed to have her kiss request turned down.
"Good night, Killian."
"Good night."
After the goodbye, which didn't include the usual kiss on the forehead, Killian stared at the door as Lizé walked out, lost in thought.
'What's wrong with Lizé all of a sudden?'
He'd been suspecting that Lizé had been making subtle flirtations for some time.
But today's provocation was quite bold.
Far too bold for kind, innocent Lizé Sinclair......
'No matter how I look at it, Lizé clearly has feelings for Cliff. Why did she make it sound like Cliff's feelings were unrequited?'
Immediately after hearing the words "I knew your heart" and "Would it have been different if I weren't an illegitimate child," I was so shocked, but upon reflection, Lizé was clearly in love with Cliff.
That's why I accepted to marry Edith, and up until that point, she was more of a supporter of my relationship with Edith.
'Why is she trying to sway me now?'
No matter how much I thought about it, it was hard to find a reason.
But what's even more surprising is that I didn't let Lizé's words sway me.
'I thought of Edith......'
It wasn't just the responsibility of 'like it or not, she's my wife'.
Killian found himself feeling more comfortable with her, more desirous of her.
Instead of Lizé, who is bright as sunshine, kind and friendly, and cautious enough to blame herself if anything goes wrong and breaks at a moment's notice, it is Edith, who is blunt, proud, confident, and unapologetic, who has somehow taken over his heart.
'Lizé was just confused by her own feelings in the run-up to the war. Let's get over it.'
Killian sighed and smiled at the same time, then suddenly stopped fiddling with the documents.
'If Edith were to do this, I would assume she was trying to seduce me to hide something from me...... But why didn't I ask Lizé the same question......?'
Once I thought about it, I realized how ridiculous my suspicions of Edith had been, and I realized how biased I had been.
And finally, I questioned whether Lizé was really 'kind and innocent'.
The truth about the day of Edith's near-murder hadn't been revealed, and Lizé was the one who was most suspicious.
Killian immediately summoned a servant to fetch Anna, Edith's maid.
When Anna arrived, he ordered her in a low voice, "Never take your eyes off Edith while I am gone. Protect her to the best of your ability."
"Yes, young master."
"I'm sorry to put such a heavy burden on you, but you're the only one I can trust."
"No, it's my job," Anna replied trustingly and walked out quietly.
Even when alone, Killian's frown did not lift.
'Lizé...... what the hell are you thinking?'
The beautiful memories of the past five years with Lizé seemed to shine through in an effort to protect her, but Killian feared something was hidden beneath the glow.
***
-step, step, step.
The sound of weak footsteps echoed down the deserted hallway.
As the footsteps grew more frequent, a low, soft voice came from the darkness.
"You don't look good."
"Cliff......"
Cliff, who had been waiting for her at the door, smiled and opened his arms to her.
Lizé sank into his arms with a familiarity.
Her cold shoulders were warmed by his body heat.
"It's late, where have you been?"
"Oh...... I couldn't sleep, so I took a short walk."
"In the dark like this......? It's dangerous."
With Lizé in his arms, Cliff opened the door and stepped inside with her.
"I'm sorry, I just got all worked up thinking about a territorial war going on......"
"I told you, there's nothing to worry about. We're prepared for the war."
Cliff's response was similar to Killian's.
Even though Lizé had heard it time and time again, her shoulders still shook like an aspen tree.
Cliff hugged her tightly again, rubbing her back.
"Instead of worrying about me or Killian, I need you to keep an eye on Edith while we're gone."
"Yeah......?"
The shaking shoulders stopped and questioning eyes looked up at Cliff.
"I'm hoping it's wrong, but you never know. I need you to keep an eye on Edith for anything strange."
"And if she does seem strange...... what should I do?"
"Send a hawk. I will order someone to have it prepared."
Lizé meekly nodded.
Cliff pressed his lips to Lizé's forehead and whispered softly, "If it's for your safety, I'll be there in a second. I swear."
"Thank you, Cliff."
After being rejected by Killian, Lizé regained her composure in Cliff's arms.
***
The colder it gets, the harder it is to get out of bed.
But it wasn't just the cold that made it hard to get out of bed today.
"It's morning," I muttered to Killian who had just opened his eyes after a long night of embracing me so warmly.
But he immediately squeezed his eyes shut tightly and shook his head.
"Aren't you sad that you won't be able to see me for a few days?" he asked.
"How do you know whether it will be a few days or a few months?"
Killian chuckled. "So you are sad."
Normally, I would have snorted, calling him self-conscious and delusional, but not this morning.
"Yeah. I think I will miss you."
I will miss you. Maybe desperately.
I found it ironic that the man destined to slit my throat is the only person I can lean on, but for now, Killian is the only one who can protect me.
Who else would protect me now, the daughter of Count Riegelhoff, who dared to declare war on House Ludwig?