'It's warm......'
I can feel his searing warmth through the soft skin of his lips, and the inexplicable scent of his body tickles the tip of my nose.
I don't know why this man's body temperature and scent are so warm when he's usually so cold.
And I was ecstatic, even though we were only touching body parts. My mind just went blank......
I lingered on his lips for a moment, then slowly pulled away and exhaled carefully.
'Okay, now I've got to steel myself.'
I knew what was about to happen.
When I opened my eyes, I would meet Killian's eyes in horror.
He would scorn me, calling me a horny pervert, a whore, and a woman without shame, and he would grab me by the arm and throw me out the door.
And the two guards on watch would be baffled by the sight.
Well, I can't help it.
I slowly opened my eyes, ready to be humiliated.
'Ah, es expected......'
I opened my eyes to see Killian's shocked eyes less than an inch apart. I swallowed hard.
"I- I'm sorry, that...... I'll just go back on my own, so......"
I tried to sound casual, but I was so flustered that I just blurted out the words.
Killian smirked and half raised himself up, grabbing me by the forearm.
"You've done all the pretending, and now you're too horny to play?"
Oh, yeah. That's a similar line, by the way.
"No, I just wanted to kiss......"
"Well, okay."
"Yeah......? W- what?"
The hand that gripped my forearm didn't relax at all, and he raised himself to his feet.
Okay, so this is how you drag me out the door...... but why are you throwing me onto the bed?
"Come on, satisfy me like the flower snake of Riegelhoff, you never know, I might even get lustful."
"Eh......?"
Huh? What's wrong?
This isn't the same as the original!
Why is the original starting to change?!!
***
The day Edith collapsed, Killian hadn't been feeling well in the morning.
He couldn't quite put his finger on why.
Probably because Edith didn't confess to her crime until the end, and he knew he didn't have enough evidence to convict her as the culprit.
'Or because of her diary, which I read yesterday.'
She was right, you shouldn't read other people's diaries.
If I hadn't read it, I wouldn't be feeling this way.
– This morning, I lurked on the path near the training ground and spied on Killian.
No matter how many times I see him, his face lights up every time. What is it with his body? I'm drooling again just thinking about it.
As expected, I'm definitely more into Killian than Cliff.
When I read that far, I was both angry and amused.
One minute she's acting so dignified in front of me, and the next she's being such a sneaky ass behind my back.
But when I read the next line, my mood somehow sank.
– But his good looks didn't stop there. Just then, Lizé walked by and waved, and Killian smiled brightly and waved back.
I thought I was going to go blind. How much more handsome could he be?
He'd never smiled at me before, so I didn't know.
How much virtue did Lizé have in her past life to be able to see that face every day? I envy her, I really do.
Edith wrote it as if it were no big deal, but the sentence, "He'd never smiled at me before, so I didn't know," struck me as odd.
'What's there to smile at her for?'
I thought so and tried to move on.
But when Edith stood up and said, "You really have no intention of showing me any decency," I felt a stab in the center of my chest.
She ran out the door, looking like she was holding back tears, and I couldn't help but follow.
"I can't believe you."
Why would I say that to someone who had already suffered enough?
Maybe I wanted to be reassured that I was right. No, it was more like self-brainwashing.
"I know, you always have, and you always will!"
I was the one who hurt her feelings, and I don't even know why her words felt like a slap in my face.
Thinking about it made my head spin. I've always gotten a headache like this when I've dwelled on a single thought.
And strangely, the headache was only eased by Lizé's presence.
"Ah! Killian...... Edith......!"
So I was relieved to see Lizé standing in front of Edith's room. because I'd be free of the headache.
But no.
"I'll go inside, and you two can talk."
I realized as I watched Edith enter, leaving me and Lizé alone.
She expected nothing from me.
Abandonment.
Despair.
Nothingness.
There was no moisture in her eyes, only dry emotion.
"If someone were to take the documents, it would have been at that time."
Even as I listened to Lizé's important testimony, I couldn't help but think of Edith's back turned to me.
And even with Lizé right next to me, my headache didn't go away.
So I thought I'd just bury the matter and forget about it, but the next day it happened.
As Killian was about to start his morning routine with Cliff, a servant quickly approached and whispered.
"Lady Edith has fallen down."
"What? What do you mean?!"
"She fainted while talking to the Duchess in her office earlier, and now the servants have......"
Before the servant had finished speaking, Killian was running.
He ran up two flights of stairs and headed for the Duchess' office on the second floor, where servants were just about to carry Edith up.
"Let go of her."
"Killian! Killian, what should I do!"
The Duchess was panicking, even tearing up.
Killian picked up the fallen Edith, knowing better to see a doctor immediately than to ask any questions.
And when he looked down at her, he saw that the stern, high-nosed woman's face was wet with tears.
"What the hell......."
"Killian, come on, hurry up, I've sent someone to fetch the doctor."
"......yes."
As he carried her to her room, his heart was racing and his head was throbbing.
The rushed doctor calmly examined Edith and then asked, "Has her ladyship had anything lately that has so greatly exhausted her?"
The Duchess wiped away her tears and replied, "Oh, yes. Edith has been very much troubled for some time."
"Hmm...... I see, well, it's nothing serious. I think she just fainted due to accumulated fatigue. Once she wakes up, she won't have any problems with her daily routine, but I think you'll need to take care of her for a while to make sure she's at ease."
The doctor wrote a prescription with a nonchalant expression and left, but Edith's face was still pale as she lay there.
Killian gazed at the lifeless face, and then turned to the Duchess.
"What have you been talking to Edith about, Mother?"
"She said she knew I wouldn't believe her, but she never leaked the documents."
"That's what she's been saying all along......"
"So I told her I believe her."
"Yes?"
"I said I believe Edith."
For a moment, Killian was speechless.
The Duchess continued, "She was desperate for those words, and then she burst into tears. She said no one believed her...... thank you......"
Killian's breath caught in his throat.
His headache and tinnitus worsened, but he couldn't help but think of Edith's despair.
He might be her husband on paper, but he was no help to her. Not even the words, "I believe you."
"Ugh......!"
"Killian! What's wrong with you!"
"Oh, nothing, just lately...... I've been getting some pretty bad headaches......"
"Anna! Go get the doctor! I think he needs to see Killian too!"
"No, no, I'll be fine in a minute."
"Killian!"
Killian stopped his mother from trying to call the doctor, and then he stared at the unconscious Edith for a long moment, then walked out.
When he left Edith's room, Lizé was waiting there.
"I hear Edith has fallen, it would be difficult...... to visit her now, wouldn't it?"
"She's sleeping, so you'll have to come later."
Lizé took Killian's hand with a worried look on her face.
There was something refreshing about her hand, and the throbbing headache began to subside.
"Killian. It's not your fault."
"......I know."
"So stop torturing yourself with guilt."
"I'm not torturing myself. I'm just worried about the rumors that might get out of hand and bother me."
Killian recognized this nagging feeling, like a nagging weight on his hand.
At Killian's confused look, Lizé changed the subject. "I think Edith was more anxious than she looked. She was so anxious that she fainted......"
As soon as he heard that, a sharp tinnitus scratched Killian's eardrums.
He felt repulsed by what Lizé had just said.
Even though Lizé hadn't said it with malice, it sounded as if Edith was anxious because she was guilty.
"Maybe it hurt her so much when no one believed her even though she was innocent."
"I guess so. Poor Edith...... Anyway, it looks like you're pretty shaken up too, so get some rest, okay?"
Lizé's touch on his cheek did nothing to calm his shaken feelings, but strangely, he couldn't disobey her words.