DISCLAIMER
I do not own Harry Potter ... but this fic is starting to drain me because I'm making things too complicated for myself
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October had passed just as September had.
Hermione clearly hadn't mentioned the conversation between Fudge and Dumbledore that the two girls overheard at the beginning of the month to Harry or Ron, considering neither boy had bought it up.
Bel herself had been particularly annoyed with Dumbledore because of it.
He had told her last year that he could give her answers, but whether or not they are the right ones made him refrain from doing so.
She could just ask him, but not only could she not bring up the conversation out of fear Hermione would get into trouble for using her time turner, but she found herself being afraid of something else.
It was clear her father had done something bad. Whether Bel wanted to know what it was remained untold.
She had never wished to know who her parents were, or anything about them.
All she had wished for was a family.
Her mother had told her to go out and find one.
Perhaps this was what she meant.
Go and find a new family because the one you have isn't one that you would want.
Bel had a small voice in the back of her head telling her that since her father was related to Voldemort, that he used to be an heir of Slytherin, what he could have done mustn't have just been bad.
It could have been terrifyingly horrific.
Something Bel didn't want to discover considering her recent boggart experience.
Was that version of her the version that was akin to whoever her father was?
Is that why she's been trained for years to control her wand?
Because her father was just like that version of her.
Evil, uncaring, heartless.
The only person she really found herself wondering about was her mother.
The woman who fell for such a person.
If Bel was going to be delivered such answers, the person who gave them couldn't be from a headmaster.
It had to be from someone who knew her personally.
And considering Bel didn't even know her name, she had nowhere to start searching.
But searching was a slippery slope.
What if she discovered the things Fudge was clearly so afraid of her finding out?
Why was he so afraid of her finding out?
Why all the secrecy?
That was where Bel was confused.
She knew from Dumbledore that she wasn't allowed to know about her true self when she first arrived at Hogwarts because her wand might have taken advantage of the fact.
With her being as clueless as she was about how the wizarding world worked, the wand could have easily homed in on the fact she was an heir of Slytherin to get her to travel down that path.
The path to the other version of herself which the boggart had shown.
But she had found out about her title last year, and so far, nothing had come from it.
Fudge clearly didn't trust her, maybe that was why nothing else had been revealed to her yet.
Did everyone else not trust her either?
And who was everyone else?
Who was this man who knew of her family?
Her wand had said they barely scratched the surface with such information being revealed to her.
Perhaps this was what it was talking about.
Whatever her father did could still threaten that from happening.
Whenever Bel sat in her clearing to think it all through, she would always come to the same conclusion.
A confused conclusion, but a conclusion nonetheless.
The only way any of her questions would get answered is if she found the right person.
And the first step in finding someone who knew her parents would be to at least know their names.
Well, her mother's name.
Bel was too scared to find out anything about her father whilst her wand could still pose a threat.
She was only two years into her training, and whilst she had made outstanding progress, those around her were still worried it wasn't enough.
Bel wanted to prove to them she wouldn't turn out like her father might have been.
That she wouldn't doom everyone around her.
That she wouldn't lead Harry to his doom.
And that would require keeping her focus and keeping up her training.
Thus, in her practices with Dumbledore, Bel worked twice as hard.
In the one lesson they had where she learnt wandless magic, Bel had been speeding through spells, motivated by all of her emotions surrounding this mystery of her mother and father.
It helped her master them much quicker.
As for duelling, Bel had found that she was beating Dumbledore more often.
Her Patronus was strong, fuelled by memories of herself and those she cared for.
People she didn't want to hurt.
People she didn't want to lead to their dooms.
There had been no run ins with dementors, no more sightings of Sirius Black, and no word from Lucius Malfoy about Hagrid or Buckbeak.
Something Bel was grateful to Draco for.
And so, October had been filled with the teenage Hufflepuff throwing herself into her studies and trying to think of a way to garner her mother's name.
Now, she didn't turn to her friends for help with this matter.
Hermione had already searched for any mention of Whitlock in the history books and had found nothing.
All they would do is ask more questions. Questions Bel couldn't answer herself.
And on the day of Halloween, when all of her classmates were heading off into Hogsmeade, Bel had planned to use that day to go looking for her mother's name herself.
Maybe she would just ... know.
If she saw her in a picture. Or perhaps something written in the same hand of that on the note she was given by her.
An instant connection between mother and daughter.
So, the second Riley, Ollie, and Tia left that morning to go to Hogsmeade, promising to bring Bel back some sweets, she departed for the library in search of her mother.
Planning on using it to find the man who knew her.
The man who could give her answers.
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Harry was holding onto his last hope.
His classmates were all about to leave to go to Hogsmeade, and he had thought of one final beg to McGonagall to let him go with them without the signed permission slip.
Considering the events which took place with Marge and what happened after, Harry hadn't gotten his uncle to sign it.
"Now, remember, these visits to Hogsmeade village are a privilege. Should your behaviour reflect poorly on the school in any way, that privilege shall not be extended again", Professor McGonagall was finishing warning the students in one of the courtyards outside the school as Filch collected their permission slips beside her.
The entire courtyard was foggy, the leaves on the trees around it were shades of orange, and the sky was a dull grey.
Very suitable weather for Halloween morning.
Once the head of house had stopped speaking, Harry took his chance, running forward with his empty permission slip clutched in his hands.
But he hadn't even taken two steps before McGonagall caught sight of him and shut him down.
"No permission form signed, no visiting the village. That's the rule, Potter."
"All those with permission, follow me. All those without, stay put", Filch announced whilst cruelly glancing to Harry as the two older staff members started to leave.
"But, professor, I thought if you signed it then I could –", Harry quickly jumped in front of McGonagall in a last-ditch effort.
"I can't. Only a parent or guardian can sign. Since I am neither, it would be inappropriate", McGonagall cut him off.
Harry clenched his jaw and signed in annoyance whilst his teacher continued walking.
When he turned around, he saw both Hermione and Ron dressed out of their uniforms looking at him sympathetically.
"I'm sorry, Potter. That's my final word. It was the same one given to all those who are in the same position as you are", McGonagall apologised, meaning it genuinely, before walking off.
"Forget about it, guys. I'll see you later", Harry said to his two friends, his anger showing in his tone.
"Maybe staying here doesn't have to be all bad, mate", Ron said.
"McGonagall said the same answer applies to everyone in your position. Bel doesn't have a parent of guardian, either. She's probably still here, too", Hermione added to make what Ron was getting at clear.
As Harry put a hand through his untamed dark brown hair, he sighed again despite feeling better about the fact he wasn't allowed to go to Hogsmeade.
Maybe Bel was just as ticked off about it as he was.
She had seemed rather distracted lately, and by distracted he meant very focused.
Bel had been spending much less time around any of her friends and much more time with her nose in a spell book.
He had been wondering why.
So much so he had even spoken to her friend Ollie about it, knowing he was the one out of her Hufflepuff friends who hated him the least, but he had been less than helpful.
All Ollie had said was that Bel seemed just fine to him, and that she was probably thinking of new ways to keep Sirius Black away from the school.
The last part was said in a very judgemental tone.
Judgemental of Harry, that is.
Even though few people know Sirius Black was coming to Hogwarts for Harry, Bel's friends would always link the danger she was in to him.
And Harry hated that they were usually right to do so.
Especially this time around.
But he had been trying hard to make it up to her.
After getting Ron and Hermione on board too, Bel had seemed happier for a while.
That was until she started getting distracted from her happiness by working herself too hard.
Maybe that's what Harry could do today.
Make sure she takes a break.
And so, Harry bid Ron and Hermione one last goodbye and walked back through the school.
Now, Bel could be anywhere on a day when their year were all at Hogsmeade.
She didn't need to be confined to her clearing.
So Harry decided his best option was to check a bunch of places off his list all at the same time by heading over to the wooden bridge that crossed over from the school to the woods.
From there he could see if Bel was with Hagrid or Buckbeak, and if she was walking to or from her clearing.
It was a start.
But when he arrived, there was already someone there.
Someone he had also wanted to speak with ever since his boggart experience.
Professor Lupin.
Harry had been wondering a lot about the professor recently.
Mainly why he had stopped him from fighting his boggart.
It was just a boggart, not really a dementor.
It was curious.
And he was also wondering just why he seemed to always look at both him and Bel with such a confusing expression.
It was one Harry couldn't quite place.
And he had learnt to be cautious around things that he couldn't quite place.
However, he wasn't cautious of Professor Lupin.
The DADA teacher was very kind and seemed to look out for him.
Which still begged another question of why?
His previous two DADA teachers couldn't have given a rat's arse about him, once even wanting him dead.
What was it about Professor Lupin that made him different?
What was it about him that cared?
Once the two had said their greetings, Harry decided to get to the point.
"Professor, can I ask you something?" he asked, taking his place on one side of the bridge, looking out to try and see if he could spot Bel anywhere.
"You want to know why I stopped you facing that boggart, yes?" the professor responded, almost as if he was reading Harry's mind.
"I would've thought it would be obvious, Harry. I assumed it would take the shape of Lord Voldemort", Lupin continued as he walked over to where Harry was stood.
"I did think of Voldemort at first. But then I remembered that night on the train ... and the dementor", Harry admitted, his mind wandering back to that memory of the cold and sorrowful feeling he had experienced.
The emptiness, the loneliness, the lack of joy.
It really was terrifying.
"I'm very impressed. That suggests what you fear the most is fear itself. This is very wise", Lupin said.
"Before I fainted ... I heard something. A girl and a woman... screaming", Harry shuddered as he recalled on his memory.
That was something else which made him think of the dementors.
Those screams played in his mind like clockwork every night he fell asleep.
And the theories he had come up with as to who they belonged to weren't pleasant to think about.
What he wanted to know, aside from who the screams were from, was if this had happened to anyone else.
If Bel heard screaming.
And he wanted to know about these creatures more to make sure she didn't.
He wouldn't know, however, as the two neglected to bring up their experiences with dementors around each other.
Harry figured Bel didn't exactly want to talk about them considering she was being forced to be on watch for their actions once a week.
"Dementors force us to relive our very worst memories. Our pain becomes their power", Lupin explained.
"I think the woman was my mother ... the night she was murdered", Harry found himself admitting.
It was good to finally tell this to someone.
Especially someone he trusted in.
Which was weirdly his DADA professor.
He would have told Bel, of course.
But she was already very focused on something else.
He couldn't possibly burden her with more of his problems.
Especially ones that took place in his mind that had no practical solution.
Professor Lupin took in a deep breath, as if he was contemplating saying something.
And then he did.
"You know, the very first time I saw you, Harry, I recognized you immediately. Not by your scar, by your eyes. They're your mother, Lily's."
Harry froze, only just being able to turn to the professor in shock.
How could he have known what his mother's eyes looked like unless ...
"Yes. Oh, yes. I knew her", Lupin said, once again reading Harry's mind, whilst he turned around and walked over to the other side of the bridge.
"Your mother was there for me at a time when no one else was. Not only was she a singularly gifted witch, she was also an uncommonly kind woman. She had a way of seeing the beauty in others even, and perhaps most especially, when that person could not see it in themselves."
Harry felt himself smile involuntarily.
This was the first time he had ever been told things about his mother from someone who knew her.
And they were such kind things.
Things that made him proud to be her son.
But he was also thinking of someone else upon the description.
Someone he knew who very much sounded just like his mother.
A person he was still keeping a sharp eye out for.
"Lily even introduced me to ... someone who was very dear to me. Someone who was able to help me more than I could have ever imagined."
Lupin's voice was quieter when he had said that.
Almost as if he was speaking more to himself than Harry.
As if the information he was giving wasn't really meant to be said, and that he needed to tread carefully.
But his sorrowful tone hadn't shifted.
It was also clearly someone else who had passed.
But the professor quickly returned to full volume and moved on.
"And your father, James, on the other hand ... he, uh, he had a certain, shall we say ... talent for trouble. A talent, rumour has it, he passed on to you."
Professor Lupin chuckled as he recalled on his memories of Harry's father, Harry himself rubbing the back of his neck as he spoke.
He did have a habit for getting into trouble.
Danger, too.
But trouble, nonetheless.
"You're more like them than you know, Harry. In time you'll come to see just how much."
Lupin had made his way back to Harry's side now as the boy took in his words about his parents.
How kind and caring his mother was.
How troublesome and mischievous his father was.
How he was told he was just like them from someone who had known them.
It made him warm up inside despite the frosty air up on the bridge.
If only Bel had someone who knew her parents.
The most Harry could give to her was a memory of what they looked like that night two years ago in the dungeons.
But it had been shown to him by Voldemort.
It might not even have been them, and the last thing Bel needed was false hope.
Especially since family was a very touchy subject for the girl since she discovered she was an heir of Slytherin.
Harry felt it wasn't best to pry into that side of things.
"You also mentioned a girl screaming. Do you have an inkling of who that might have been?" Lupin then asked Harry.
"I think ... I think it might have been Bel. But I have no way to be sure. I've never heard her scream like that before", Harry replied.
He didn't feel any urge to lie to the professor.
Lupin had known his parents; he could trust him.
And talking to someone other than Bel about how much he was worried about her might be of use to him.
"Sometimes the memories the dementors bring forth are ones we have lost. But they are still there in our minds, hiding away. You are a person with many of these types of memories, Harry. I believe that is why the dementor chose to come after you on that train instead of the others. Because you have hidden memories that would only cause you pain to remember", the professor explained.
So Harry had heard Bel scream his name like that before.
He just couldn't remember it.
He tried his best to. But turned up nothing in his mind.
Perhaps he wasn't even awake?
Should he ask her about it?
"Bel is one of those people too. I suppose that is something that makes the two of you such close friends", Professor Lupin said before starting back down the bridge.
Harry took a moment to savour his friendship with the girl yet again.
They have always been bonded in ways he couldn't have imagined that day he met her on the train for the first time.
Almost everything about them seems connected somehow.
They're both suffering through such similar things that it has resulted in a bond like none other.
A bond that Harry couldn't help but cherish more than anything.
Because such a bond with such a girl was something he needed in times like these.
And he knew because he needed it, Bel would need it too.
As they were alike.
"Oh, and uh ... I suggest trying the library. I believe I saw Bel walking that way on my way out here", Lupin called back to him before vanishing out of sight.
Harry instantly took off towards the library.
To find the girl he had such a close bond with.
A bond he never wanted to lose.
And one he had a feeling he wanted to turn into more.
Despite that feeling being just like his memories.
Stuck in the back of his mind, awaiting its time to come forth.
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I MAKE MY LIFE SO HARD WITH THIS FIC
Like I have Bel's whole life story planned out and it's so damn good but so damn complicated
Like at this point I'm not writing a fic I'm writing a whole ass book
Which I did NOT sign up for
Like why the mystery? I don't even know
And adding it in with all the other stuff that goes on with Harry Potter and the duo love interest
Like please excuse me if I make a few mistakes along the way or forget some things
I really am trying not to but it's fucking HARD GUYS
Anyways love y'all <3