I was a mess. There was simply no other way of describing it; that's simply what I was.
Ever since I made the revelation that I liked Sebastian; I had turned into this disaster of a human being and I'd been avoiding him ever since. It was practically a necessity due to how stupid and jittery I now got around him.
For the whole of yesterday, I couldn't say a straight sentence to him, without either stuttering, avoiding his eyes, or just plain messing up my words. I swear it was those damn stupid eyes of his – they were killing me.
Concentrating on my task at hand, I stared down at my laptop screen and took a deep breath in and out. It was a free period at school, and I was currently sag tucked under a tree in the school garden. It was the only place I could think of where the chances of bumping into Sebastian were low. The boy was practically everywhere.
Instead of getting on with schoolwork, I'd shamefully spent the past hour looking up commons signs to know whether or not you're losing your mind. And the results weren't looking promising....
It's not surprising considering how I went from hating Sebastian with a burning passion to now being romantically obsessed with him in a matter of weeks. That just couldn't be normal. I had to be mad.
In a moment of gnawing curiosity, I found my fingers typing the words 'nearest mental hospitals' into the search bar. My eyes instantly drew to the first one that came up in the suggestions. Hmm...only twenty minutes away...
"Hey, Phoebe," a voice called out in the distance. I froze at the sound of his voice, instantly recognizing it. I looked up and true to my assumption, I saw Sebastian walking his way over to me with a loose smile on his face.
Once he was before me, he boldly sat himself down on the grassy floor opposite me without invitation. He looked me up and down with a smile. "So, what are we doing hanging out under a tree, Brooks? Bit of a weird place to study, don't you think?"
I shuffled nervously in place, wondering how to kindly explain to him that I was sitting here in the failed hopes of avoiding him.
"Oh, it was just hot outside so I just wanted to enjoy the sun, that's all," I lied quickly.
Sebastian lightly nodded in understanding. "Hmm, fair enough," he murmured.
"Anyway, what are you working on over there?" he asked, as he gestured over to my laptop.
I immediately widened my eyes and slapped my laptop screen shut. "Nothing," I said quickly.
This only seemed to intrigue Sebastian further, and he stared me up and down with far too amused-looking eyes. "You watching porn or something?"
"No, of course not! We're literally at school."
Sebastian's smile only grew. "Then show me the laptop then," he probed.
My face burned. "No," I snapped quickly.
"Not going to lie, Phoebe, it's really not looking good for you," he said with a light chuckle. "At least tell me what kind of porn it is? I bet ten bucks, it's some kind of kinky domination thing. I know you have a thing for that," he teased with a wink.
Instead of feeling humiliated, an electric feeling ran up and down my spine from the sight of his wink. Get a hold of yourself, Phoebe.
"No, I think you're the one who has a thing for that," I finally threw back.
"Perhaps," he shrugged with a smile. Unsurprised, I rolled my eyes.
He stared at me for a second or so, then completely catching me off guard, he suddenly reached forward and snatched my laptop up off the ground.
"Hey," I cried in panic.
Quickly turning around, Sebastian opened up my laptop and the screen soon lit up.
His eyes danced over the screen. "Nearest mental hospitals. What the fuck is this?" he whispered with a laugh
My heart hammered in panic. "Give that back," I ordered as I tried to reach over his shoulder to try and wrestle it back. Sebastian shrugged me off easily and continued to scroll along my laptop before clicking on another tab I had open.
"How to get over a crush," he read out in an amused tone.
Officially humiliated, I pushed Sebastian's shoulder back and this time, he thankfully loosened up and let me gain back hold of my laptop.
"God, you're an asshole," I muttered as I shoved my laptop under my arm and flopped myself back into my original space.
Sebastian's lips tugged up into a smile. "Okay, so let me check if I've got this straight. You have a crush on someone stupid again and you naturally think you're losing your mind, correct?"
I paused, realizing he'd hit the nail on the head. "Perhaps," I muttered cautiously, feeling paranoid that he somehow knew I was talking about him.
He let out a light snort. "Well, at least you're being honest with yourself this time. Between Aiden your old ex, and that disaster of a boy Jordan, you really do, no offense have questionable taste in guys. I dread to think which idiot it is this time."
More than amused at listening to Sebastian accidentally calling himself an idiot, I plucked up a brow.
"Really? Is that so?" I probed, deciding to have a little fun.
He scoffed. "No offense, but one hundred percent so. Your taste really needs help, Phoebe. Almost desperately."
"Hmm, perhaps," I murmured with a smile, secretly throwing him a dig. It was far more fun than I realized getting Sebastian to unknowingly cuss himself out.
That's when the sharp sound of the school bell echoed out from the school building. Glancing down to my watch I realised it was eleven, and it was now time for me to get to class. Quickly starting to pack away my laptop, I then stood up.
"You have health class next with me, right?" Sebastian said as he shouldered his bag and rose to his feet alongside me.
My heart sunk in panic, realizing that I did. If he had that class, that meant a whole another period with him which did not benefit my avoid him at all costs plan.
"Erm...yeah, I do," I reluctantly mumbled.
"Excellent," he nodded. As the two of us strode away into the school building, towards our relevant classroom, I felt my anxiety further bubble up inside my chest.
It was like every last thing he did drove me insane. Small things like his hand accidentally brushing against mine as we walked. And the way his eye contact always seemed prolonged. It was like he was built to be distracting.
Once we entered the classroom, I quickly walked on ahead and took a seat at the edge, next to some lanky red-haired boy. Luckily for me, it was one of the few available seats left as the class was already near full. And for once I was grateful, not all too keen to have Sebastian sit beside me.
Sparing Sebastian, a nervous look as he walked between the gap between the desks, I saw him look at me, then the boy beside me with an undeniably irritated look on his face.
Rolling his eyes, he threw his bag down on the chair behind me, clearly figuring annoying me from behind was the next best thing.
Soon enough, Mrs Dawson, a plump middle-aged woman strolled into the room with her usual bubbly smile resting on her lips.
The chatter around the classroom died down as she took position behind the desk. "Okay, so today we're discussing relationships, and to do that, I want everyone to get into pairs," Mrs Dawson called out.
The noise around the classroom started up again, and there was the scraping of chairs as people got out of the chairs to switch places to whoever they wanted to be partnered with.
Fearful that Sebastian was prepping himself to ask me to be his partner, I quickly turned toward the red-haired boy beside me. "Erm, hey, you don't mind being my partner, right?" I asked quickly.
The boy looked me up and down before flashing me a polite smile. "No, of course not, no. That's fine," he said, easily enough. I instantly sucked in a breath of relief.
And that relief lasted for about half a second before I noticed Sebastian step up beside the red-haired boy's desk before staring back and forth between the two of us.
This lasted for about a second before Sebastian dug a hand into his pocket, fished out a one-dollar bill, and placed it boldly on the boy's desk. "I'll give you one dollar if you find another partner," he offered.
My eyes widened. What the fuck, was he seriously bribing him?
The red-haired boy raised a brow. "How badly do you want her? I'll move on for five, or no deal," the boy bargained plainly.
Sebastian hesitated for a second, then looked briefly at me before rolling his eyes. "Fine," he snapped stiffly. Once he'd replaced the one-dollar bill with a five, the red-haired boy snatched it up and raised smoothly out of the seat without another word.
The moment he was gone, Sebastian slid smoothly into the now free space beside me with a little self-satisfied sigh before turning to look at me.
"Seriously? You paid to be my partner? Wouldn't asking me first be the smarter and cheaper option?" I asked in disbelief.
"No, because you would have said no because you're avoiding me for some reason," Sebastian answered simply.
I immediately went silent, knowing he had fully called me out. He had one hundred percent figured out I'd been finding ways to avoid him.
"No, I'm not, you're being silly," I shrugged dismissively. Was I gaslighting him? Yes. But what other option did I have? I couldn't exactly tell him he was the guy I had stupid feelings for.
Before Sebastian could argue against me, the teacher cleared her throat from the front of the room.
"So, what I want each pair to do is to pretend to be a couple in a romantic relationship, so that you can work together to plan a life together. The worksheet I'm sending around will have a budget and will ask questions about where the two of you want to live, how you'll earn a living, and that kind of thing. Remember to compromise and communicate efficiently, off you go guys," she said, bright and warmly.
The second she got through with her explanation, I felt like I was going to be sick. It was like the entire universe was playing sick games with me. What could be worse than having to plan a future with a guy you had an unrequited thing for?
Soon enough, Mrs Dawson started coming across with the worksheets, and she slid one smoothly over to our desk.
Sebastian turned to look at me with twinkled amused eyes. "So, girlfriend, ready to start planning?" he teased. 'My heart jumped far too enthusiastically on the word girlfriend; despite the fact he was only making fun. It was shameful really, how much I enjoyed the sound of it.
"I suppose if we must," I said drily.
Sebastian slid the sheet closer to him, so he could read. Scanning his eyes over to the contents, he fished a pen out of his pocket and tapped the first box.
"So, first question, where are we living?" he probed.
"Easy a nice four-bedroom place in southern California, not too far from home. I'm not moving out of state," I answered easily enough.
Sebastian plucked up an amused eyebrow. "I see you've got things figured out," he laughed. Without question, Sebastian seemed to write my suggestion down into the box.
"Okay, next question. What are we doing for work?"
"Well, you're obviously going to be a vet, and I'll be an erm...I'll guess I'll be a physiotherapist," I finally decided.
"Hmm," Sebastian said, nodding his head in approval as he wrote it down. "I can see you doing that, considering how much you seem to get injured," he commented slyly. Sebastian always had something to say about how dangerous he thought cheer was.
Suddenly he looked up at me with curious eyes. "You're still going to study at UC Davis next year, right?" he asked abruptly.
The way he was looking at me was incredibly intense and robbed me of thought for a fair few seconds. Back when we were younger, we'd made a deal to go to the same college when we were older, so we wouldn't be apart.
"Yeah, that's still the plan," I nodded. Sebastian's mouth instantly swung up into a smile before quickly twitching back down again, as though he was trying to conceal it.
Glancing back down at the sheet of paper, he wrote that information down before moving on to the next question.
The second he read whatever question was on the page, the corner of his lips lifted higher, and he swiftly met my eyes. "So, how many babies am I going to knock you up with then?"
The violent degree to which his words and eyes made my stomach flutter, scared even me. Damn it, I knew this worksheet was going to give me problems.
"Who said we're going to have any at all? I never said our relationship would have sex in it," I threw back.
Sebastian cracked a smile. "You seriously think you could fight the desire to have sex for the whole of your life. I'd be your partner, Phoebe, it would be me or no one," he laughed.
"What desire would I have to fight?" I argued childishly. "And besides, there's no law against sleeping with someone else while you're married."
Sebastian's smile faded from his face within a second. "Well, cool then I guess I'd just beat up the guy that you cheated on me with."
"Seems a bit dramatic, but okay, whatever," I shrugged.
Sebastian rolled his eyes. "No, but seriously with sex aside, how many kids would you want someday if any?"
I let out a heavy sigh. "I suppose two, what about you?" I asked quickly.
"Hmm probably Seven," Sebastian shrugged.
"Seven" I cried. "Are you crazy? There's no way in hell I'd let you knock me up seven times."
Sebastian chuckled, seemingly amused by my reaction. "Relax, Brooks, I was just joking, two sounds fine to me," he mumbled as he started to scribble that down onto the paper. It then dawned on me how weirdly literal we were being about this whole conversation, and how odd that was making me feel.
"Okay next question, would you be a top or bottom in bed?" he asked, looking up at me with a smile.
It was as clear as day from both the ridiculousness of the question as well as the sparkle in his eye that the question was most definitely not written on the paper.
"Seriously?" I snapped.
"What? It's an important question to know in a relationship," Sebastian shrugged, blinking back at me with a seemingly innocent smile.
Rolling my eyes, I knew this health science questionnaire was going to be anything but smooth sailing. Not with Sebastian involved.
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