(Draco's Pov)
January 30th
I met Astoria in the common room, she wanted to talk.
"How's Isabella? It's been a day since her and Mattheo spoke." She said.
"She's okay." I said.
"How's Mattheo?" I asked.
"Not well. Barely got him to class."
"Shit." I said.
"This sounds weird, but he won't let me see him naked. He wears a shirt to bed. I ask if he wants to shower with me, but he rejects it."
"You guys haven't shagged yet?" I asked.
"No. He barely touches me." Said Astoria.
"I'm sorry." I said.
"You shagging Isabella a lot?" She asked.
"Twice sometimes three times a day." I said.
"Finally found someone with a sex drive as high as yours." Said Astoria.
"My sex drive isn't that high." I said.
"You're delusional if you think that."
Said Astoria.
"Whatever." I said.
"We should get them to talk. Let's meet in the common room after classes." Said Astoria.
(Isabella's Pov)
Draco, and I walked to the common room once classes ended.
I walked inside, and saw Mattheo, and Astoria.
"Sit." Said Draco.
Draco pushed me next to Mattheo.
We avoided eye contact.
"Talk it out." Said Astoria.
"I can't. Mattheo won't tell me what's wrong, there's nothing I can do about it."
"Mattheo, you need to talk. Isabella was explaining her feelings, you took it in a way she didn't mean." Said Astoria.
"I took it the way I heard it." Said Mattheo
"Mattheo you've been so fucking weird since you got here. Astorias tryna help you." I said.
"If I was comfortable I would tell you, but I'm not so give it up." He snarled.
"Mattheo, I've been by your side since before we were fucking born. I've seen you almost everyday for 16 years. How are you not comfortable?"
"Because I'm not." He said.
"Then I'm not doing this."
I stood up, but Draco grabbed my arm.
"Sit darling."
"Mattheos being impossible." I said.
"Please sit my love."
Mattheo rolled his eyes.
"Mattheo when I said let me go, I didn't mean cut me off. You're too much, and I can't handle it sometimes."
"Did you enjoy the month I was gone?"
Asked Mattheo.
"I missed you." I said.
"That's not what I asked." He said.
"I enjoyed it, but not because you were gone."
"Did you have this sense of freedom?"
"I did but, Draco was always on my case."
"But did you feel more free with me gone?"
Asked Mattheo.
"In a way, yes." I said.
"There it is." Said Mattheo standing up.
"You can't be mad about this." I said.
"This conversation is making me brain dead.
I don't fucking know what's going on, and shits not getting resolved." He said.
"Fine, we're done then." I said standing up.
I walked to the door, and Draco followed me.
"Isa please try again." He whispered.
Suddenly the common room door opened.
In walked Enzo, Theo and Jackso-
"Get out." I whispered.
I pointed at Mattheo with my eyes.
"What the hell?!" Mattheo yelled.
We're too late.
Everyone froze in fear,
and Mattheo approached.
His jaw was dropped, his eyebrows were narrowed, and his hands were in fists.
He put his hand in front of me, and pushed me so I was behind him like a barrier.
"What the fuck are you doing here?!"
He yelled.
He grabbed Jackson by the collar, and shoved him against the wall.
"Mattheo stop!" I said.
Mattheo went to swing, but Theo and Enzo pulled him back.
"The fuck are you doing? Do you know who this is!" Yelled Mattheo.
"Yes, just relax." Said Theo.
Mattheo looked at Draco.
"You're allowing this!" He yelled.
He shoved Theo and Enzo away, but Draco grabbed him, and pushed him back towards them.
"Let me GO!" Yelled Mattheo.
"You need to listen." I said.
Mattheo pushed the guys off him, and grabbed Jackson again. He had him against the wall by his neck. He held his wand up, and his hands shook.
"I'll fucking kill you." Scowled Mattheo.
"Please let go darling, we have lots to tell you." Said Astoria softly.
Jackson was physically shaking under Mattheo.
"Don't get involved." Said Mattheo.
Astoria cupped his face.
"Remember what I told you? Never act out of anger." She said.
Mattheo hesitated.
He looked at Jackson again, and tightened his grip. Jackson choked, and his face slowly went pale.
Astoria lowered his arm with his wand, and grabbed the hand around his neck. She gently
pulled Mattheos hand off, and Jackson bent over gasping for air.
Mattheo dropped his arms, and looked at her.
She grabbed his hands, and sat him on the couch.
"We were gonna tell you the day you got here. But you weren't in a good mood." Said Theo.
Everyone looked at me. I guess it was my responsibility.
"Jackson wasn't aware I went to Hogwarts.
He was here the day back from winter break.
He went by the name Jacob, and started hanging out with us. I spoke to Jackson, and he told me he would leave.
One day Draco, and Jackson spoke.
Draco told Jackson everything I've been through, including the shit Jackson himself did. Obviously Draco wasn't aware that was Jackson.
Jackson apologized to me. He told me he knew his faults, and that he was sorry. He deleted the video, and was still planning on leaving Hogwarts, but wanted to say sorry.
I didn't forgive him.
His apology caused me lots of stress.
That caused my fever.
Draco, and Jackson took care of me together.
Jackson helped Draco as much as he could.
He never did anything inappropriate. I was sick for a long time, and Jackson showed me he's changed.
One time Draco, and I got in a huge fight, Draco didn't come the next morning. I was alone with Jackson. Even though we were alone, all he did was take care of me. He didn't try anything.
But he spoke to me a lot.
Draco said harsh things during our argument.
Jackson told me they weren't true.
He told me I was a good person, he made me feel good about myself.
In fact he made me feel so good that I kissed him."
"Wait what?!" Said Draco.
Mattheo looked at me with such disappointment.
"But Jackson pulled away, he said no."
Draco grabbed my face.
"Why would you do that?" He asked concerned.
"Because for the 100th time, she's an idiot."
Said Mattheo.
"Jackson said he was gonna go, but I told him to stay. We're friends again Mattheo. I know I sound crazy, but he's been here for almost a month, and it's been fine." I said.
"Isabella, he dated you for five months and everything seemed okay too." Said Mattheo.
"I understand, but it's different this time."
"That's what you say every time."
Said Mattheo.
"I know, but we're only friends, nothings gonna happen." I said.
"You've all gone insane." Said Mattheo digging his face in his hands.
"I don't give a shit. I already told you, you're Draco's problem now. If you wanna be friends with the guy who made you try and kill yourself, go ahead."
Everyone gasped, and I felt my stomach drop.
"Isabella?" Said Theo.
Draco stormed over to Mattheo.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Said Draco through his teeth.
"Is that true?" Asked Enzo rubbing my shoulders.
I felt my eyes well up, and nodded.
"Mattheo." Said Astoria. Her voice sounded so disappointed.
Mattheo grabbed a cigarette from his pocket, and lit it up.
He shoved through Draco, and walked up to Jackson. He looked him up, and down and then back at me.
Jackson stood there, scared shitless.
We waited for Mattheo to speak, but he didn't.
He shoved Jackson causing, him to slam his head on the wall. Before anyone could say anything he apparated away.
Draco ran over to me, and picked me up.
He held me close to him, and kissed my cheek.
I wanted to resolve things with Mattheo, I was pissed over his attitude these past two days.
But now I don't care. Clearly he hates me for some reason, so I'm not gonna be the one to make things right.
"That was the one thing he was supposed to take to the grave. But now he's just going around telling everyone."
"I understand he was wrong for that, but it's not entirely his fault." Said Astoria.
I lifted my head from Draco, and looked at her.
"Obviously he's shocked seeing Jackson, he's already in a bad mood from his trip, and what you said yesterday.
The poor guys head is probably crazy.
His intent was to make you realize Jackson isn't someone you should associate with.
Of course that's Mattheos thinking, not me." Said Astoria.
"He could've told me privately." I said.
Draco wiped my eyes, and kissed me.
"Come, let's go back." He said.
I nodded, and he carried me back to our dorm. We walked in, and he placed me on my back on the edge of our bed.
He then got between my legs, and leaned over so his chest was on mine.
"No more crying my love, it's gonna be alright." Said Draco.
He softly kissed my tears. One hand rubbed my stomach, and the other held my jaw.
"Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?" Whispered Draco.
My body chilled, and my stomach filled with butterflies.
He gently placed his hands on my neck, and kissed. Draco's kisses were comforting, they weren't aggressive, and intense like usual.
I put my arms around his head, and ran my fingers through his hair. His lips felt soft against me, it was gentle.
As much as I loved the intensity, I really needed this right now. Draco knew what to give me, he always knows.
He slowly lifted his body up, and his hair was a mess.
He gave me a comforting smile, then placed his hand on my thigh. He slowly lifted it up, so my knee was up against the bed, and my legs were split.
I felt my body slipping, but he got on top of me. His right hand held my leg against the bed, and his body weight pressed on mine. He then used his left hand, and rubbed up and down my stomach.
I loved when Draco touched me.
"Close your eyes my love."
I closed my eyes. and felt him leave kisses along my jaw. His hands trailed up my shirt, and he softly palmed my boob.
He rubbed circles around the center, and I sighed. He stopped kissing me, and slipped his right hand under my back.
He pulled his hand out of my shirt, and gently lifted me up. He then took my shirt off and unclipped my bra.
"In the mood?" He asked.
"Gently." I said.
"Anything you want ask, and I'll give it to you."
"Just make me forget." I said.
(Mattheo's Pov)
I apparated away, I was overwhelmed.
I apparated to an abandoned part of Hogwarts.
It was outside, and I was sitting on a ruin.
I can't believe Jacksons here, but what I really can't believe is that him, and Isabella are friends.
What's gotten into her? I was gone for a month, and she's made two terrible decisions.
I didn't need to bring up her attempt, but I needed to show her trusting Jackson is a mistake.
I need to get high, and my overwhelmed mind will blank.
She not only chose Draco over me, but she chose Jackson. I don't care, she doesn't need me, I don't need her.
I'll just deal with my emotions on my own.
I'll deal with the pain of what our dad put me through on my own.
I have to let her go.
I have to let Astoria go too, but for a different reason.
If Astoria found out the shit I did, she'd never forgive me. She'd hate me, especially because she's so against conflict.
She would hate me more then I hate myself.
I can't focus without drugs, I can't think, I can't do anything. If I could sleep all day I would,
I don't wanna be aware, at least I'm at peace when I'm asleep.
I especially don't wanna drag Astoria down with me, I care about her too much.
My best option is to let everyone I love go.
Isabella was right.
She's always right.
It sucks that Astoria, and I are sharing a dorm, she'll try, and help me all the time.
But her efforts will be useless.
I can't be helped, it's over for me.
I'm helpless.
My leg started to shake, and my hands got all sweaty.
Why did I have to go? It's over for me, I can't recover. And I can't tell anyone, they'll think I'm a monster.
I dropped my cigarette, and dug my face in my hands.
Don't cry,
don't cry,
don't cry.
Crying won't get me anywhere.
I let out a sob, and then held my breath.
If I can't breathe I can't cry,
My head felt like it was gonna explode, and not only because I had no air.
I gasped for air, and let out another sob.
Fuck I can't hold it in.
I dug my face back in my hands, and sobbed.
At least I'm alone, the way it should be.
I looked at the cigarette on the floor, I can't use it now.
I tried lighting up another cigarette but it wouldn't work.
"FUCK." I yelled.
I threw the entire box on the floor, and set the whole thing on fire.
I watched as it burned into flames.
The same way my life's burning.
I sat back down, and sobbed again.
I'm not supposed to cry. That trip was supposed to make me stronger.
It didn't strengthen me, it drained me of life.
"Mattheo, there you are." Said a soft voice.
It was Astorias voice, I could recognize it miles away.
Her voice was always soft, I wonder if she's capable of yelling.
"Shh, it's okay I'm here for you." She said wiping my pathetic tears.
She cupped my face, and I felt instant relief.
Her touch is magical.
"Come here my love." She pulled me in, and held me in her arms.
I soaked in her touch for a few seconds, when I knocked sense into myself.
"You need to leave." I said.
"Mattheo, please don't do this." She begged.
"Out, now." My voice was demanding.
"Mattheo I wanna help you, please."
"I'm not gonna ask you again, get out of my sight."
She sighed, and apparated away.
The second she was gone I sobbed again.
Even louder, and more pathetic then before.
I hated treating her like that.
At least if she hates me it'll be easier for her to handle when I break up with her.
Not just for her, for the both of us.
(Astoria's Pov)
Why is Mattheo pushing me away?
He doesn't have to tell me what's wrong, but I wanna be there to support him.
Seeing, and hearing him cry shattered me.
I've never seen him in such a state.
I needed to talk to Isabella asap.
I messaged her, and told her to meet me outside.
(Isabella's Pov)
Astoria looked really upset, she must've found Mattheo.
"You need to apologize to Mattheo." She said.
I scoffed.
"You need to talk it out at least."
"We just tried that." I said.
"I know, but him seeing Jackson made it worse.
I found him outside sobbing." She said.
"He should be sobbing. He was rude. He's been against me the second he got back." I said.
"I know but something bad happened, he went through a lot." Said Astoria.
I felt myself become angry.
"But we don't know what he's been through.
So it's unfair I should have to apologize just because something bad happened to him."
I turned around, but Astoria grabbed my arm.
"He's your brother, you guys care about each other." She said.
"Then he should be the one to try to make things right. I've already tried." I said.
"You're being stubborn. He came back from his trip in such a down mood. I understand he's in the wrong. But maybe if you give him a genuine apology, he'll be okay."
"Astoria!" I yelled causing her to flinch.
"If Mattheo doesn't tell me what's wrong, I'm not gonna try, and help him. I'm not gonna apologize just because I feel bad for him!"
I yelled.
"I know but-"
"Mattheo's been an asshole to me since he's gotten back."
"But you have to understand why-"
"No I don't. The only reason Draco treated you like shit was because it was me he liked, not you. Astoria he used you, it's never been you in his eyes, it's always been me. Draco actually likes me, so he's treating me the way I deserve."
Astoria teared up.
"Fuck you Isabella."
I gasped. Astorias never been like this, she's never been rude, even when she's mad she's nice.
"I had to say it, just like your defending your boyfriend, I'm defending mine." I said.
Out of nowhere, I feel this strong stinging sensation on my cheek.
This bitch slapped me.
She looked down at her hand, then at my face.
I felt this fire grow in me, I felt the extreme urge to hit her back, so I did.
Except it wasn't a hit, it was a punch.
And it was a lot harder then her slap.
She screamed, and looked up at me with a bloody nose.
Just when I thought she'd stop, she pushed me again, and then started walking away.
I pushed her from behind, and she slammed against the stone wall.
Her face had scratches, and the stone ripped off a patch of skin.
"Astoria I'm so sorry, I didn't mean for that to happen."
She looked at me with these eyes,
she looked like a sad puppy.
God my heart just broke.
She shook her head at me, and apparated away.