(Isabella's Pov)
I woke up with a pounding headache.
Who's dorm am I in?
"Good you're awake. I just called Draco, he'll be over to grab you soon." Said Grayson.
Everything came back to me.
"How are you feeling? You got pretty fucked up last night." He said sitting next to me.
My head hurt, I was exhausted, thirsty, and my throat was itching.
"Everything hurts." I groaned laying back down.
He grabbed a glass of water, and an ice pack.
He sat me up, and I leaned against the headboard. I felt groggy.
"Drink some water, you're pretty hungover."
He said handing me the cup.
I took a sip of water, and handed it back to him
He held the ice pack to my head, and I groaned in relief.
I leaned against him, and he wrapped his arm around me.
"Wait did you say Draco was coming?"
It just hit me now.
"I called him, I don't think he remembers me though." Said Grayson.
"Fuck, he's gonna kill me." I said.
Suddenly there was a knock on the door, and I jumped.
"It's open." Said Grayson.
The door opened, and I quickly got off of Grayson, and held the ice pack myself.
"Your not slick we saw." Said Jackson.
In walked Draco and Jackson. Draco ran over, and looked me up and down frowning.
"You idiot, let's go." Said Draco pulling me up.
I raised my hands, and he picked me up.
I wrapped my legs around him, and leaned on his shoulder.
"Don't think I'm not mad just because I'm carrying you." He said.
"I'm sorry." I said.
"Thanks Grayson, I remember you now."
Said Draco.
"From where?" I asked.
"In year 2 the year 7s came to be our older bud-" Draco froze, and looked at Grayson.
Draco counted his fingers.
"You're like 21." He said.
"Yeah." Said Grayson.
Fuck I shouldn't have asked.
Draco put me down, and walked over to him.
"What did you do with her? She's 16!"
"I didn't do anything man."
"Really? A drunk, attractive, and probably horny girl came to your dorm, and you didn't fuck her?" Asked Draco.
"We didn't even sleep in the same bed." I said.
"Bullshit." Said Draco.
"I'm serious." I said.
"I know when you lie Isabella. Did you force her into the bed?" Asked Draco.
"No I swear." Said Grayson.
"Draco he didn't do anything. If anything I was the one initiating."
"Isabella it's okay jus-"
"No it wasn't your fault." I said interrupting Grayson.
"I asked him to fuck me, and he refused when he saw I was drunk." I said.
"So you didn't refuse because she was 16, you refused because she drank." Draco laughed in disbelief.
"That's how she ended up in your dorm wasn't it? You were gonna shag her." Said Draco.
"At first yes, but I knew it was a bad idea."
He said.
"You're a pedophile." Said Draco.
"Draco he had good intentions.
Yesterday something happened, and then I was leaving the party when I bumped into Grayson.
I asked if I could go to his dorm, then I got there and threw up and he took care of me.
Then he asked about the video because he accidentally found it, so I told him I was blackmailed, and he promised not to tell anyone.
I cried, and climbed on him, but he pushed me off and said it was wrong.
He finally he held me, and I lied in his arms.
He calmed me down."
"So you slept with a random 21 year old?
That's fucked up Isabella, you're not thinking straight. If Mattheo was here what would he say?" Said Draco.
"I know it was wrong. Please just forget about it, I'm fine." I said.
"You never learn. You're lucky he didn't do anything to you." Said Draco.
He grabbed my arm, and dragged me to the door.
"Don't ever go near her again." Said Draco looking at Grayson.
"I'm so sorry I didn't mean for any of this to-"
"You're not sorry. Isa let's go." He said pulling me out.
I looked at Jackson who was smirking at me.
We left the dorm, and Draco sighed.
"I can't believe you." He said.
I didn't say anything.
"Did you know he was 21 when you asked to fuck him?" Asked Draco.
He was making me feel really bad about myself.
"Yeah."
"You know that's wrong, why would you do it Isa? You're fucked up."
"Because I craved it. When he held me I felt safe. He was older, and stronger, and said it would be okay. He made me feel protected, and I felt safe."
He froze, and looked at me.
"Isabella do you have an attraction towards older men?" He asked.
Jackson looked at me too.
"I just like being taken care of.
Older men tend to-"
I hesitated.
"Older men tend to take care of younger girls, whether or not their intentions are pure."
I watched as the gears in Draco's head turned.
He was choosing his next words carefully.
Jackson on the other hand looked stunned.
Draco took a deep breath.
"Um okay." He said still thinking.
"Why Isabella?" Asked Jackson.
He looked genuinely concerned, which made me concerned.
"Isa if you wanna be held, why not ask me, or Theo, or Enzo. You know we'll take care of you." Said Draco.
I can't believe I was about to admit this, especially in front of Jackson.
"My father was never there. I never had an older guy who cared about me in that way.
I lack that affection, so I get it elsewhere."
"Oh." Said Draco.
"Can you not tell Enzo or Theo about any of this? I'm ashamed."
"It's not your fault, we both know who your father is. I'm sorry I reacted that way without hearing you out." Said Draco.
"It's fine." I said.
"Have you had relations with any other older men? I don't mean dating." Asked Draco.
"Rarely, not anymore at least. Now I have you, Enzo, and Theo. It helps." I said.
"So when you're alone with these men, what do you do? I'm just tryna understand." Said Draco.
"Usually we kiss, and they'll hold me. It ends with me sucking them off. But not all men, some don't ask for anything."
"And now that you're back at Hogwarts this has stopped?" Asked Draco.
"Yes. Yesterday I couldn't help myself.
With Mattheo gone, and Jack-" I stopped.
"And him finding Jackson's video?" Asked Draco.
Now this was weird considering Jackson was listening, and next to me.
"Yeah. I got drunk, and then it happened.
But I promise I'll sto." I said.
(Draco's Pov)
I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
Jacob and I walked her to her dorm, and went back to mine.
"That was a lot." He said.
"Yeah." I said.
"She seems very complex." Said Jacob.
"She has a lot of issues, but nothing I can't handle." I said.
"What else?" Asked Jacob.
"I shouldn't tell you, it's personal." I said.
"I just wanna be aware so I don't trigger anything." He said.
"She had problems around sex, and terrible trust issues. I've helped her overcome the first one, but not before fucking her up first." I said.
"How?" Asked Jacob.
"I've always been attracted to Isabella.
We were each others first kisses, and I wanted to lose my virginity to her.
She said she wasn't ready, and I said I'd wait. But I was a 13 year old boy, and got horny. Eventually I couldn't wait anymore, and had sex.
Fast forward to this year.
She knocked on my dorm one day, and asked if I wanted to fuck. She didn't tell me she was a virgin." I said.
"Oh shit." Said Jacob.
"I got really excited. It was the first time I've seen her naked, and her body was beautiful.
Perfect.
I couldn't handle it anymore, so we got on the bed, I got naked and then-" I stopped.
"Then what?" Said Jacob.
"I shoved myself into her with no touching, no foreplay. It was overall rough, too rough for a virgin."
"Was she okay?" Asked Jacob.
"No, I hurt her. She told me to stop within seconds, and I pulled out.
She said we were done shagging, and I got fucking pissed. Shagging Isa was something I've been waiting for, for years, and she stopped it so quickly.
I told her, her body didn't live up to her expectations. And I kicked her out."
I hated admitting that.
"Shit that's rough, I feel for her. How did you find out?" Asked Jacob.
"The next morning Enzo came in, and asked why there was blood on the sheets. It was Isa's blood from-"
"I get it." Said Jacob.
"I apologized profusely. I told her I would've been slower, and gentler if I had known.
But that wasn't what angered her. It was the way I reacted." I said.
"How did you guys get over it?" Asked Jacob.
"Things were weird between us for a bit, and then she met a guy named Cormac. Cormac was a terrible guy. Theo, Enzo, Mattheo, and I warned her.
She dated him anyways.
Throughout them dating, Isa, and I were distant. One night Cormac, and his friends made her strip, and they touched her. So she apparated away, and got stranded in a hall.
She messaged me to come get her.
I brought her to my dorm, and she immediately ran into the shower. I heard her sobbing, so I hopped in the shower, and she was freaking out on the floor."
"Wait she showered with you as she was dating someone else?" Asked Jacob.
"I know it was wrong, but the circumstances made it okay."
"Did Mattheo know any of this?" Asked Jacob.
"The next day Cormac came up to her, and apologized. Once Cormac left she said she was considering staying with him. Theo, Enzo, and I said absolutely not.
Things escalated quickly between her and I, and she told me she didn't need me.
After she got a message. The message was a video of her sucking him off, it was a threat."
Jacobs eyes widened.
"You mean Cormac made a video?" He said.
"Yeah. She asked for help, and I was still pissed because she said she didn't need me.
I said something terrible. Something along the lines of don't victimize yourself. Just as I said it Mattheo walked in.
Mattheo found out what happened when I took her virginity.
He beat my ass
He's scary when he's mad." I said.
Jacob laughed.
"Believe me, I know." He said.
"Wait what?" I said.
Jacob went pale.
"I um- girls with brothers are always like- well their brothers are scary." He said.
"I let him beat me up because I deserved it.
Then Mattheo was told about when I saved her in the hall, and about what Cormac did.
Mattheo promised her he would deal with it.
He sent her to her dorm along with Theo, and Enzo.
Once we were left alone, he told me to go make her feel better. As pissed as Mattheo was, he knew I could help her.
Her, and I went to my dorm, and it started with me comforting her.
Then the topic of sex came up.
I asked Isabella if she wanted to shag again to make up for what I did. She agreed.
Everything was going well, but the second I touched her she lost her shit. She freaked out, and started crying."
(Jackson's Pov)
I thought her life was calm after our old school.
I didn't realize how much she's been through, and I can't believe Cormac took a video of her.
I put the pieces together, and figured out that Cormac and his friends, were the ones who tried to do what they did to Isabella last night.
I'm not Isabella's biggest fan, but that was fucked up.
"Then she told me why sex intimidates her, and why she doesn't trust men. It started in year 4.
Draco went on to tell me what I already knew. Then he got to my part.
"Last but not least there was Jackson. Isa said Jackson was perfect, that he treated her like a princess. She said they had lots of chemistry in fact she told him she loved him."
I remember that, we were lying in bed together, and just finished making out.
"Jackson used her. He was paid by her exes to date her. He took videos when they did anything sexual, and made it into a compilation. They blackmailed her, and said they would only delete the video if she shagged them.
She said no, and they posted it.
Her whole school found out, and she had to leave because Mattheo got suspended.
He beat them all up."
I didn't know what to say. Its weird because he was talking about me.
"Did you guys shag after that?" I asked.
"Yes but when I got ready to put my dick in her she freaked out. I gave her a calming draught, and she was okay. And now she takes it likes it's nothing." He said.
"Oh." I said.
"But this Jackson guy is what gave her most of her issues. She told me she kept picturing his face when I was gonna shag her.
I swear to god if I ever see him I'm gonna kill him." Said Draco.
Fuck.
"I hate when she's upset, or suffering, it hurts me. And Jackson fucked her up so much."
I gotta change the topic.
"Date her." I said.
He laughed.
"I can't for two reasons. One is because Mattheo basically forbade me, and two she thinks I'll use her, or cheat." He said.
"Why would she think that?" I asked.
"Because I cheated, and used my ex." He said.
Shock after shock, I don't know how much more my brain can take.
"Can you elaborate?" I said.
He then told me about a guy named Blaise, and how him, and Isabella started dating. He told me that was the reason him, and Astoria dated.
"As I was dating Astoria I got so desperate for Isa, I did something terrible."
"What?" I said.
"I watched the video, and jerked off to it."
So I was right.
It's a good video, I don't blame him.
He then told me how they both cheated with each other.
That shocked me, because Isabella herself was cheated on.
He then said Mattheo figured out they cheated, and exposed them.
"Mattheo really helped Astoria recover from me. In fact they bonded so well, they're dating now." He said laughing.
"You're okay with that?" I said.
"For sure. I want Isa, and Astoria deserves Mattheo. Just like Jackson fucked Isabella up, I fucked Astoria up."
Draco told me about his lack of aftercare, or care in general. He told me the way he favored Isabella, and ignored Astoria. He said he used her, the way he used every other girl.
Lastly he told me his why he used women for sex, he explained his relationship with his father.
I felt for him, and I felt for-
fuck I felt for Isabella.
I've never felt guilt towards what I did to her. But I didn't know the damage I caused.
I didn't realize the trauma, and issues that were caused by me. I thought the video was the only thing I did wrong.
Then Draco told me what he did.
And Cormac did shit, and what I witnessed yesterday was absolutely terrible.
Isabella has a fucked up life.
And the biggest fuck up was me.
"Sorry I spoke for so long, I just wanted to tell you things in detail."
"That's okay it was good to know." I said.
Fuck I'm really starting to bond with Draco, he's a lot like me.
"Are you ever gonna ask her out?" I said.
"Already did, she said no. I lost my shit, and slammed her against a wall. Then I bawled my eyes out to my mother, and she held me like a child. Then Isabella walked in, and my mother held us both as we cried.
Then my mom left, and I went to apologize to Isa, but I felt so bad that I had a panic attack.
I hated myself with every ounce of my body."
It just keeps getting worse.
"Isabella was right. If we dated now it would end absolutely terribly." Said Draco.
"Yeah you guys should work through your issues first." I said.
"So there, you know it all." Said Draco.
"Thanks for telling me. I'm surprised you felt comfortable." I said.
"I wasn't. I wanted to take the shit I did to the grave. You're actually the only one who knows I asked her out.
The only reason I told you is because Isabella needs everyone she can get by her side.
I want her to be happy, and feel loved.
I love her more then anything in the world,
I'd do anything for her." He said.
"I'm sure she's an incredible girl, any guy would be lucky to have her. Soon that guy will be you."
"I hope." He said.
"I'm gonna head out now, but thanks for enlightening me. If you ever need to talk about your father, or other problems let me know."
"There's one more thing." Said Draco.
"Yeah?" I said.
"Back to the whole Jackson thing.
Over the summer the online bullying, and name calling towards her got so bad that she-"
Draco stopped.
"What?" I said.
"She tried killing herself."
No, no, no.
Fuck.
My heart started pounding.
I never meant for it to go that far, it wasn't even my idea.
"Don't make any suicide jokes, ever."
Said Draco.
"O-ok, I won't." I said.
My mouth was dry.
I said goodbye, and left the dorm.
I was physically shaking.
Then I felt my stomach become extremely nauseous. I ran to a garbage, and threw up.
I felt sick, hearing Draco say she tried-
I can't repeat it. But hearing him say that was absolutely gut wrenching.
I ruined someone's life so bad that they wanted to end it.
I need to apologize.