ugh, heyyyyyyyy. Yeah it's me. I am still here. No I didn't forget about y'all but I did very much need this long asf break from writing to be able to get back into it. I can't promise a chapter every week but I promise not to go 4/5 months of being being so MIA. Well I can try. Anyway, I hope you are all doing well, looking after yourselves. And I hope you like this chapter.
===============
I wake once again with a pained groan, pulling the covers over my head to protect me from the daylight now pushing its way through the curtains as much as it can. I need to invest in some black out blinds for this place because this bright headache inducing light ain't it. This time I don't freeze when I hear a groan next to me, but when I feel the covers being pulled away from me I whine as I try to pull them back to me.
"Stop stealing all the duvet. I'm cold." Nat's voice is groggy and I huff as I let her pull some of the duvet away from me.
"Hey!" I whine as she pulls the whole duvet off of me and decides to wrap herself up like a burrito leaving me to the elements of the cold room.
"Thanks." Nat mumbles into her pillow as she shuffles about getting comfortable.
"Now I'm cold."
"Fine here." Nat unrolls herself from her self made duvet burrito and lifts up the edge of it. "Either you join me under here or you stay in the cold."
I don't say anything as I shuffle under the duvet to join her, and her arm drops the duvet over my body. While I am pulling it around me properly, tucking it under me slightly so no cold can get in and no heat can escape, Nat shuffles to lay against my side, wrapping her arm around my waist and resting her head on my chest.
I hover my hand over her waist, my other arm behind my head, since I'm not quite sure if I should put it on her waist or not. Nat ends up grabbing my hand in hers and guiding it to rest on her lower back while she lifts one of her legs over mine, getting herself comfortable. I Move my other hand that was behind my head to rest on my stomach gently tapping my fingers as I look up at the ceiling trying not to think about how Nat is cuddling up to me.
"Don't think about it, just relax, friends cuddle." Nat says softly as her arm wraps back around my waist and I feel her let out a deep breath as her body sinks against mine.
I smile to myself as I let myself relax into the embrace, allowing her hand to slot under mine on my stomach, continuing to look at the ceiling at just enjoying being held. Touch is one of my main love languages but I never truly know how to go about initiating it and always feel like I am just being annoying when I do. So even though I am very much touch starved and crave the feeling of arms wrapped around me or someone just cuddling into me I would rather feel the distance then have the chance of them completely rejecting my affection and making me feel worse.
Hence why I normally wait for people to initiate the contact so at least I know they are comfortable with it. Maybe it's because my blood parents weren't the most affectionate people ... like at all ... or I have been called clingy by both my ex's and that it was annoying how much I wanted to be close to them when I was tired, or upset, or just wanted to be held or do the holding. So for Nat to cuddle like this and act as if it is completely normal it's new to me, but it's definitely a nice new normal for me.
"What's got you thinking so hard? I can hear the cogs turning." I hum, softly starting to trace small circles on Nat's back with my finger.
"Just life."
"That's a big thing to be thinking about this early in the morning, especially with hangovers." I chuckle, turning my head to look at Nat.
"I do all my best thinking early in the morning." That gets a chuckle from Nat who looks up at me, moving her hand to rest on my chest and resting her chin on top of that.
"You know you can tell me that it's too much and I will move so you're comfortable right?"
"You know for a Russian you seem to be pretty soft and gooey on the inside." Nat rolls her eyes, kissing her teeth.
"Yeah, yeah whatever. But I am serious if I am making you uncomfy just say so." I smile softly lightly shaking my head.
"No, I was just thinking about how good the physical contact is. I don't know if I have told you or if you kinda figured it out with your Russian spy skills, but one of my love languages is touch yet I have been so deprived through life or I have been told that it's a bad trait I have that I don't know how to initiate it. Like at all. Sure I may feel like in a moment a hug is warranted and I won't be rejected, like when Wanda is cooking I know she likes to be hugged from behind. So when she isn't too busy cooking and it's just simmering away I know it's safe to hug her from behind without the fear of rejection or being too much. It's easier with Wanda because over the few months we've known each other I have grown to read the signs of when I can and probably shouldn't initiate it."
"But you still struggle sometimes and with other people it's almost impossible for you to initiate it because you're afraid of rejection?"
"I am more afraid of the feeling that comes after, the self-deprecating thoughts of being too much, too clingy, too forward." Nat rests her cheek on her hand, her eyes darting around the room in thought.
"Well I am up for a hug at any time, unless I am angry and pacing then I need a moment to cool off before anyone tries to touch me."
"Thank you." Nat smiles up at me before relaxing as much as she can, her eyes closing as she basks in the calm.
"That's why we are gonna cuddle until our stomachs are begging for food." She whispers, moving her arms to fully wrap around my waist and torso.
"What if I gotta pee?" Nat hums.
"Well do you have to pee?"
"No."
"Well then we can cuddle. Until I get hungry then you can get up and make us some breakfast, or it's probably brunch at this point." She doesn't even bother to open her eyes, but I can feel her smirking against my chest.
"And who put you in charge?" Nat chuckles.
"I did. Now just shhh, enjoy the peace." Nat says sleepily.
"Who are you and what have you done with the scary Russian I know"
"Shhhh" Nat yawns and I smile as I relax properly with her cuddling me like this.
"How are you still sleepy?" I chuckle whisper, "Ow!"
"Oh hush you baby, I just pinched your waist." I pout, moving my hand to rub the hurt inflicted by Nat. "And I am not tired, just comfy. You are comfy. I need a you in my life."
"Well I am here am I not." Nat rests her chin on my chest looking up at me.
"No, I need a Y/n in my life. Do you have a long lost twin I could steal away and call mine because I need these sorta cuddles every morning." I hum moving my hand from behind my head to weave my fingers through Nat's messy morning hair.
"I don't know about a long lost twin but I am sure I can wing woman you whenever you need. Just gotta know your type and your standards."
"Women." I laugh aloud at that as Nat smiles cheekily. "Plain and simple, just women. I mean have you seen women, they are just ... ugh."
"Mhmm, you're so gay." Nat chuckles nodding with a cheeky smile. "But I thought you and, Bucky I think it was, were a thing or something."
"With a tendency to sleep with one man when drunk."
"So the opposite of that one straight girl who sleeps with women when drunk."
"I am not that girl." Nat scoffs as she looks up at me. "Bucky is just familiar. We are sort of friends with benefits but only really when we drink. It's just a bit of fun, you know."
"Hey I wasn't judging, you can sleep with whoever you want to whenever you want to. I just want to make sure when we go out I know what type of girl you are looking for."
"Tall, skinny, brunette."
"I can work with that."
"Good now shh, I want more sleep."
We fall into a comfortable silence for a while, both of us just enjoying the comfortable feeling we have created. Nat shuffles a little, her elbow digging ever so slightly into my side and I feel an all too familiar feeling. I let out a small huff as Nat stops moving and I try to ignore the feeling but with her weight on mine it just makes it worse.
"Nat." I only get a groan in response. "I gotta pee."
~~~~~
Did I get to go pee I hear you ask, or maybe I don't but I will tell you anyway. No I didn't. This woman told me to hold it. And being the good friend I am, but also the fact that I was really comfortable and didn't want to disrupt the mood of the room, I stayed in the bed trying to ignore the growing feeling of needing to pee.
It worked for a while, but now I definitely need to get up and go.
"Nat." I whisper gently, tapping her lower back to try and get her to stir, as I am not sure if she has fallen back to sleep or not."
"Hmm." She lightly groans but doesn't make any move to get off me.
"I really gotta pee."
Nat doesn't say anything but instead groans as she rolls off of me, pulling all the duvet with her leaving to shiver in the cold of the room. Well it's not so cold now as the sun has slowly been warming the house, but compared to the warmth under the duvet it is cold. I don't waste a second in darting to the toilet before I don't make it.
In the quiet of the bathroom my mind goes over the past day and night, and how I feel lighter - more relaxed - then I have the whole time I have been away from New York. I have to ask myself how long I am going to want, need, to stay here but I don't really have the answer. Although I know I can't stay here indefinitely. Maybe I should go back when Natasha leaves in the next day or so. I feel like I myself have at least had a chance to think enough about the whole thing between me and Wanda, our family and everything that has occurred during these last few months.
I just hope when I go back Wanda is willing to meet with me so we can talk.
Really talk.
"Did you die in there or are you just taking the world's biggest shit because you have been in there way too long to just be peeing." Nat asks through the door and I laugh to myself flushing the toilet then moving to wash my hands.
"Just thinking."
"Well they do say the best thinking happens on the toilet." Nat replies and I open the door raising my brow with a sideways smile when I see her still wrapped in the duvet but standing by the door.
"Do they?"
"I don't know, you're the genius here you tell me." I shake my head with a small laugh moving to the chest of drawers to grab some sweatpants and a hoodie to change into. "What were you thinking about?"
"If I want to go back when you go back and if I am ready to talk with Wanda. Then questioning if she is ready to talk to me. You know the usual."
"You do too much thinking in the morning. You need to chill out. Relax." I turn to Nat as I pull the sweatpants on and toss Nat a pair when she drops the duvet on the floor holding out her arms silently asking for a pair.
"Well that is easier said than done when your mind is as loud as mine."
"Hmm." Nat shuffles towards me after putting the sweatpants on, moving to stand on her tiptoes but when she decides she is still not tall enough she pulls on my shoulders pulling me down to her height.
"What..." Before I could question her she presses her lips to my forehead.
"Shush brain. Give Y/n a break." I giggle as she says it with the most serious voice one can and then gives my forehead a stern look. "Otherwise I am going to have to distract her from you."
"How would you do that?"
"Like this." Before I can question further I feel Nat's hands on my sides then her fingers digging in before she starts tickling me.
"No, no, no." I squirm getting out of her grip and running to the d to try and get away.
However, Nat is quicker and manages to clamber onto the bed pushing me off balance so I fall onto my back. She sits on my legs as her hands tickle around my ribs, armpits and neck not giving me a break as I wiggle underneath her to try and escape. My laughs come out breathy as I try and catch my breath, my hands trying to push Nat off me but failing as she simply waves her hands about to avoid being stopped before continuing her attack.
So I choose a different route and try to tickle Nat but she hardly reacts apart from a small jolt of her body here and there. I can see a faint smile so I know she is ticklish but she seems to be able to pretend she isn't. Her tickle attack continues and I can no longer take it.
"Truce, truce, truce." I say between laughs as she stops her attack for a moment.
"Truce you say?" She raises a challenging brow, I nod quickly as I try to catch my breath.
"Yes I will make you breakfast if you stop with the tickle attacks." Nat hums in thought for a moment, removing her hands from my side and resting them on her thighs.
"Fine but only if you make a hearty, hangover cure type of breakfast."
"Full English?" I can practically see Nat's mouth watering as she nods her head quickly.
"Yes!"
"Okay but to do that I need you to get off." Nat snorts with a smirk.
"I mean voyeurism isn't really my thing but for that breakfast I might just be willing." It takes me a moment to understand what she is saying and when I do I fake gag and push her off of me.
"I meant get off of me, you idiot. But it's good to know you would do anything for food." Nat rolls onto her back giggling to herself as I get up from the bed to put my socks and slippers on.
"What can I say? This girl likes her food, and she will get it one way or the other."
"If it means I have to watch you shove your hands down your pants, then no thank you I would rather just make you breakfast."
"Wow." Nat fakes hurt with her hand on her chest. "Does daddy not want to hear my pretty moans?"
"Oh that's it." I throw a cushion from the armchair in the room at Nat as she laughs obnoxiously loud, rolling onto her side as tears form in the corner of her eyes.
"I'm not sorry about it." She says between fits of giggles as I stand in the middle of the room looking at her with my arms crossed.
"I am never going to live this down am I?" Nat shakes her head giggling.
"No, but don't worry I really mean no offence it's just for a laugh. And Wanda get's the same treatment for it. Though there is nothing wrong with it, just some friendly banter."
"Or you're just trying to see if you could be into it. Or maybe you're not looking for a daddy, but a mommy?" I smirk when Nat's laughter stops and a light blush paints her cheeks. "Well that answers that, now I am going to make some breakfast. Maybe if you're a good girl over breakfast I won't make you clean out the pig shit as punishment for earlier."
I smile smugly as I watch Nat's jaw drop, her cheeks turning a shade darker, and I turn on my heels walking out of the room. I don't look back when I hear Nat walk to the door, doing my best to ignore her as I have to keep my composure so she can't come back at me. I chuckle to myself when I hear a small 'fuck' come from behind me and quick steps following behind me.
I look down when Nat joins my side, and she rolls her eyes at me when she takes a quick glance at me. She crosses her arms over her chest, turning her head down to try and hide the seriously dark blush on her cheeks; I do nothing to acknowledge it and choose to walk downstairs. The moment I do look at Nat is when we get into the kitchen and I hold up a mug in silent question, when she avoids eye contact with me I smirk.
"Oh shut up." I laugh at that, turning away from her to start boiling the kettle.
"Just so you know your secret is safe with me." Nat grumbles behind me.
"Don't know what you're talking about."
"Mhmm, sure you don't." I hear her huff behind me before she moves to stand at my side, I give her a quick side glance and smile to myself at the blush that is still on her cheeks.
"Oh shut up!"
~~~~~
"Mhmm, so fucking good." Nat moans as she takes a bite of the food, and I shake my head chuckling to myself. I swear she is doing this sort of thing on purpose at this point.
"Yeah you can't go wrong with a full English breakfast for a hangover cure. Just hits different after a night of drinking." I mumble around my fork as I take a bite of my bacon.
"All I need now is a good nap." I look up at Nat as I take another bite of food and she looks up at me shrugging. "What? I am hungover and tired. And I am older than you, so I need more sleep. So a nap is warranted."
"We just woke up." Nat takes a sip of her coffee humming as the hot beverage hits her tongue.
"So? I'm an adult and I choose how to live my life."
"I'm just saying don't blame me when you can't get to sleep tonight because you've already slept too much through the day."
"That's not going to happen."
"Okay, if you say so." I say going back to eating ignoring the way I feel Nat's eyes boring into the side of my head.
"Well I do, say so."
"Mhmm, sure. Ow! Stop throwing things at me!" I complain when a piece of toast hits the side of my face.
"Then stop being a smartass." I glare at Nat momentarily before scooping some fried mushrooms onto my fork and slingshotting them at her.
"Fucking disgusting!" Nat groans as she wipes the mushrooms off her face, and sleep shirt since she didn't manage to dodge my attack this time. "I will have my revenge."
"Yeah, no you won't because I am not making you another breakfast if you decide to use yours as a weapon instead of eating it." Nat seems to think over my words for a second before I watch her take a forkful of food and start eating again. "Now that's what I thought."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. So what is the plan for today?" Nat practically shovels her food into her mouth and I mean with the way my hangover is I am practically doing the same.
"We can have a chill, right off kinda day. So maybe a movie day?" I suggest as Nat covers her mouth with her hand as she tries to finish her mouthful of food.
"Mhmm, sounds good to me. Have you got any wine?" My eyes widen slightly and I take a drink of coffee to help the mouthful of food go down nicely.
"You want to drink again?"
"Yeah, not right now but you can't have a girls movie night without a nice bottle of wine."
"I guess that is true. I should have a bottle of red, maybe more hiding in the back of the cupboard. So are we drinking to get drunk or drinking to enjoy the day."
"Can a lady not have both? Why just one or the other? I want to get drunk again because drunk you are so fun to be with and also it's wine. Who doesn't want a nice glass of wine to end the day."
"Are you a lady though?" I am quick to dodge the other piece of toast that comes flying towards my face.
"Fuck you, I so am a lady."
"Mhmm, Lady Romanoff of the land of old. Ah shit!" I squeal as I don't manage to avoid the fried tomato that heads my way and it hits me square in the face.
"No, I am Lady Romanoff of the land of youth and fruitfulness." I raise a brow with a small chuckle and Nat gives me the middle finger. "Shut up, that's all I could come up with in the moment."
"That's because you're old. You gotta get down with us younger folk."
"I am not getting down with the kids, that would be morally embarrassing." I put my hand on my heart at her words.
"Ouch that one hurts. I'm going to have to tell Yelena you don't wanna hang with our generation and you want to stick with all the oldie baldies. Ah don't!" I give Nat a warning look when she threatens to throw a sausage at me.
"Then don't be rude. I am young and fruitful."
"Of course you are." I say with a hint of sarcasm.
"Of course you are." Natasha mocks me in a high pitched voice.
"The quicker you eat your food the quicker we can move on to greater things." I state looking back to my food and starting to eat once more like the last few minutes didn't just happen
"Greater things?" I simply hum in reply as I continue to eat, and smirking to myself when I hear Natasha huff a few moments later and get back to eating her own food.
"Good girl."
"Oh you lil shit!"
"Shit!"
I jump from my chair when Natasha darts out of hers and heads for me, running away from her with a loud laugh that echoes around the empty house. I make it to the living room where I stand at one end of the couch and she stands by the other, both of us bouncing left to right waiting for the other person to make a move.
Nat grabs a cushion from the couch quickly throwing at me as a distraction before she darts around the back of the couch to try and get to me. I react quick enough that I catch the cushion and throw it straight back at her, chuckling when he hits her face and she has to catch herself on the back of the couch as her feet slide from underneath her as she tries to avoid being hit.
I dart to stand on the other side of the coffee table as Nat stands back up properly, glaring at me as her eyes dart around the room as she tries to figure out a way to get to me. She bounces on her toes, her hands remaining on the back of the couch. She squints her eyes at me as I hold out my arm waving cheekily.
"Hey there. How you doing?" I smile goofily as Nat rolls her eyes and gets in a ready stance as it seems she has decided on how she is going to get me.
Nat doesn't say anything as she looks me up and down before bolting to the right side of the couch and towards the my side of the coffee table. As she goes to do that I use on foot on the edge of the table to jump over it, but Nat seems to have predicted that move as she changes the way she is running and manages to grab my foot.
Doing so I end up 'tripping' mid-air when one foot lands on the floor but the other remains in the air and I end up face planting the couch with a huff. I feel Nat drop my foot and I am quick to roll onto the couch and scramble over the back of it before she can grab me, but in my haste I forget to brace myself for my James Bond level moves and end up crashing into the floor with a groan.
Nat's head pops over the edge of the couch, a look of concern turning into a fit of laughter as she sees I'm okay. Just a bruised ego. She smiles smugly before she disappears and I hear her walking around to where I am, her head once again coming into my view when she leans over me smiling down at me.
"Well hey there."
"Hey." I breathe out with a small groan as my lungs learn how to work again.
"Just because you're young doesn't mean you can outrun me." Nat says proudly as she moves to sit on my legs, her hands on her thighs as she tilts her head with a proud smirk.
"Are you sure you ain't no Russian spy?" Nat's eyes flick to mine with a shrug.
"Even if I was, why would I tell you?" She lifts her hand pretending to inspect her nails as she tries to change from smiling smugly to looking all serious but fails when I wiggle underneath her to try and get out from under her.
"Because I am your best friend and I need to know if I am friends with a Russian spy. Who may or may not quite literally stab me in the back at some point. You could be some kind of sleeper agent and you wouldn't know." I flail my arms about as I try to explain my thoughts.
"Well if I was a sleeper agent how would I know the answer to your question." I open and close my mouth looking for an answer as Nat leans down and taps my cheek gently a few times. "Better luck next time kid."
I put one of my hands on Nat's waist, the other on the top edge of the couch earning a questioning look from the woman currently on my lap, before she squeals and wraps her arms and legs around my body as I hoist myself off the ground. My hand that was on her waist slides to her lower back to keep her secure, I really don't want to drop her to the floor right now. I laugh as she tucks her head against my neck as I get to my feet jumping slightly to adjust where she is wrapped around me.
"See all good." Nat leans back slightly, her hands gripping my shoulder blades as she scowls at me.
"A little warning would have been nice." I shrug with a goofy grin.
"Where's the fun in that?"
"I could have fallen backwards, hit my head and died." I roll my eyes at her dramatics as I start walking back around to the front of the couch.
"I had a hold of you. I wasn't going to drop you." Nat grumbles as her glare softens.
"You know if you wanted me in your arms you could have just asked." Nat goes back to her teasing tone and I chuckle.
"You are one cheeky lady Miss Romanoff."
"I try my best."
"Now how about we finish the food before settling on the couch?" Nat gasps and her head turns on a swivel as she looks back to the dining table where our food sits.
"Hurry up my noble steed, my food is getting cold." Nat puts on her best posh english accent and I chuckle shaking my head.
"Oh so now I am just some noble steed?" Nat nods without a second thought as her arm reaches out to the table, which is in the other room.
"I can feel myself dying of starvation. Food, must have food." I roll my eyes as Nat complains but ultimately start making my way back to the table.
"I could just put you down and make you walk to the table yourself."
"No. But please do hurry, my stomach doth protest about being empty."
"Not my fault someone wanted to chase me around my own living room."
"Technically it's your parents living room, so ha, and you were the one who started all of this. I simply defended oneself." I raise a brow as Nat looks back at me with a smug smile.
"Whatever, now are you going to get down and eat your food or am I going to have to sit you down on my lap and feed you like a baby." I bite my lip holding back a laugh as Nat scrambles off of my lap as I sit down and goes to her own chair.
"Not happening." Nat slumps in her seat grabbing a fork digging into her food as I sit in my chair smiling to myself. "Stop smiling, otherwise I am taking your food away."
"You wouldn't even get close to my plate." I drag my plate closer to me wrapping my arm around the outside of it on the table and lean down as I start eating.
"So why are you protecting it like your life depends on it?"
"Because it does. If you take this amazing food away from me I might literally die."
"Oh and we can't be having that now, can we?" Nat asks in a babying voice.
"No, because then you wouldn't get to dance up on me at clubs like you did last night." Nat chokes on her drink as I have a shit eating grin on my face.
"You're a good dancer, sue me." Nat acts it off and I laugh with a shake of my head.
"Sure and it wasn't the 5 rounds of tequila and all the other shit we drank after it." Nat grumbles to herself stabbing her food with her fork.
"It doesn't matter because I had fun and it was my birthday and that is all that should matter." I look up at Nat giving her a soft smile.
"I enjoyed last night too. We should definitely do it more."
"Yes!"
As I go to take a bite of my food, I am interrupted by loud, fast knocking on the door. I look to Nat who looks to the door then to me shrugging. I huff as I put my fork back down on my plate, grumbling as I stand from my chair. I make my way over to the door where another quick round of knocking starts and I pick up the pace as it sounds like panicked knocking and my train of thought goes to how one of the neighbouring families may have been hurt on their land or something.
I wipe my hands on my trousers before swinging the door open expecting to see anyone but who is at the door.
"Yelena?"
================================
Word count: 5263