Shockwaves went through the entire K-pop industry as the news surfaced. Ateez announced that they were stopping all activities immediately and that they planned to leave KQ. It turned into a huge media circus, lawyers were snarling at each other, and while this was happening, the eight idols went home to their families.
In secret they had recorded a song to be released to Atiny. They knew they were disappointing so many people by doing this, and they couldn't be sure they would ever be able to hold another concert. At the moment the only thing they knew was that KQ was fighting for their lives. Without Ateez they would make very little money, which was what eventually became their downfall.
If Maya had followed entertainment news she probably would have heard the story. She might also have heard that her song was released. It was an acoustic version recorded at a friend's studio. It was good but simple. It was Maya's song, Smile. Atiny loved it, and the entire fan base swore they would stick around for when Ateez returned. Atiny refused to believe they wouldn't.
But Maya had no idea. She never looked at anything even remotely connected to Kpop. She had to keep her distance, it was the only way to stay sane. Besides, her studies were taking everything she had. She should have taken a job to be able to earn some money, but she didn't have the energy. She lived off the little money she had, just trying to make it. She had considered many options. Quitting school was out of the question, that was a promise she had to keep. She did not want to go back home, there was nothing left for her there. So she studied. When her roommates discovered she was so good at making clothes, a few of them hired her to make outfits. She made a little money that way. In every item she made she stitched a small red heart.
Whenever she sowed a skirt, she cried.
After having left their dorms, for good, the boys didn't see each other every day for a while. Sure, they called and FaceTimed a lot, but it wasn't the same. Hongjoong missed them immensely. He wasn't the only one feeling that way.
«Hongjoong-ah! Come in, come in, it's so good to see you!»
«Thank you, Mrs. Park.»
«I'm glad you could stop by. Thank you, I'm really worried about him.»
«I understood that from what you said on the phone. Does he not talk to you?»
«He doesn't talk, hardly eats, doesn't smile or laugh... He's just not himself.»
«I'll talk to him.»
«He's in his room. Dinner is almost ready, you should both come and eat.»
«Thank you, Mrs. Park.»
Seonghwa barely looked up when Hongjoong knocked and opened the door.
«What are you doing here, Joongie?»
«I wanted to check in on you. How are you?»
Seonghwa shrugged, his eyes on the show playing on his tv.
«Could you pause that, please?» Hongjoong asked.
«No.»
«Please, Hwa!»
There was desperation in Hongjoong's voice, not anger. Hwa rolled his eyes and paused the drama he was watching.
«Thank you. What are you watching?»
«Whatever keeps me from thinking,» Seonghwa said, sitting up on the bed. He had spent most of his time right here the last week. He couldn't tell you how many days it had been since he last left the apartment.
«You look like you're not eating much, Hwa,» Hongjoong started off.
«Stop,» Hwa said. «You sound just like mom.»
«I know, but you won't listen to her, so I'll have to try, won't I?»
«She called you here?» He had a scowl on his face.
«Don't blame her. She knows we're close.»
«Not how close, though,» Hwa said, not looking into his eyes. «No one does.»
«Hwa,» Hongjoong whispered as he grabbed his hand.
«Are we sick people, Hongjoong-ah? Are we crazy for what we've been doing? Was our family just fucked up?»
«No!» Hongjoong scooted over and sat flushed to his side. «No, our family is a beautiful thing.»
«But we can't be honest about it. We can't live openly like that. We can't buy a house and live together. We can't have kids. We can't...»
As the tears started falling, Hongjoong pulled him close.
«I want to do all those things, love,» he whispered into his hair.
«But we can't.»
«We can,» Joong said. «But we'll lose a lot if we do so.»
«I don't even care anymore,» Seonghwa sobbed. «What does it matter if we get to start performing again if we can't even love the people we want to?!»
«I know, Hwa, I know. I feel the same way.»
Seonghwa was used to Hongjoong's comforting words, but they sounded different this time. The embrace felt different. He looked at his captain.
«What are you saying?»
«That I'm starting to realize what is important, and what isn't.»
Hwa's innocent face was looking at him, tear-stained and beautiful.
«I miss you so much,» Joong whispered and kissed him gently. «So much. And the others too. I don't miss being in the studio or performing or... I don't miss anything as much as I miss being with you guys. My family.»
«I love you,» Hwa sobbed and they kissed each other in a way they hadn't done for a while.
Mrs. Park was very happy to see Seonghwa and Hongjoong come out to eat dinner with her. Hongjoong ate well, and Seonghwa at least tried. He seemed more at ease now that his leader had arrived.
«Mom, I might go with Hongjoong to Seoul again soon.»
«Yeah, that's okay, my dear. You do what you need to do.»
«We need to be together,» he said lowly, not looking at her in fear it would be too obvious what he meant.
«I know, dear. It's okay.»
He glanced at her, and found only love and warmth in her smile. He quickly went over to her and hugged her.
«I'm sorry, mom. I've been a horrible son.»
«No, you haven't. You've been in pain. I just want you to be happy, sweet Seonghwa. You deserve that. I couldn't have asked for a better son.»
«I'm not all that good,» he cried, hiding in his mother's embrace. It was so many years since he last did that.
«Sure you are.»
«I do bad things.»
«And I'll love you no matter what you do.»
«Anything?»
«Anything!»
«Even if I killed someone?»
«If you killed someone I'd turn you in to the police,» she said, brushing his hair away from his face. «And then I'd come visit you in jail. Every week.»
Seonghwa had to laugh through his tears, and Hongjoong chuckled too.
«It's okay, my sweet boy. I'll love you forever.»
«I'll love you too, mom, forever and ever.»
--
a/n
10 K reads (feb 23) for Striptease?! Omg, I can't believe it. I know, as a reader, you see stories with much higher numbers all the time, but I WROTE THIS. And so many people have read it! It means the world to me, and I'll say it once more: I appreciate you! I love you! Thank you for reading, voting, and leaving comments.