Joey picked me up after class, I didn't even make it back to my room, he sat in parking lot in his BMW waiting for me. My heart skipped a beat for some reason when I got that text in the middle of class that he was there and waiting for me. Yes, I finally unblocked his number. Now here I sit at his house on his deck as he tries to grill some steaks and by the look of this grill, I don't think he has ever even used it. I looked up at him and for a minute I forgot he was this big star and more like the Joey I remember.
"So, Ry how was class?"
"Same as always it doesn't change. Teacher nailed me for being late though, but I had morning sickness and he said it wasn't an excuse. How was your shoot?"
"Same as the last one and the one before that. It's always look here smile there. Why is your professor being such an asshole, you have morning sickness you can't control that."
"Thats just him."
"It's beside the point, so are you that sick like every day?"
"Well, I'm growing a tiny human, it's not easy."
"I'm sorry....."
"Why you sorry?"
"Because I did that."
"Seriously Joey it's not like you planned on knocking me up."
I watched him take the food off the grill and turn it off.
"Come on let's eat before it gets cold."
I sat up with Rocky right by my side. I see Joey look back and smile.
"He likes you and he doesn't like anyone."
"Of course, all babies and animals love me. Now if I can just find a guy who will love me like all these animals and babies do. That dating pool just got even smaller now."
I watched him put the plate on the table and he had the look I never seen before, he pulled a chair up next to me and looked over.
"Ryder you're my best friend let me tell you something. Any guy would be lucky to be with you. You are smart, sassy and silly all at the same time. You are beautiful inside and out. You have the biggest heart of any person I know. You remember that one time we had to do community service for our PIG class, and I let you talk me into doing it at the animal shelter, by the end of that day every animal including that one dog that even the people who worked there said he didn't like anyone loved you. You remember I couldn't get you to leave, you just crawled into the kennel with him and sat there petting him."
"I remember....."
"Thats what I'm saying your beautiful in and out. Any guy should be honored to be this you."
He looked up in my eyes, and it sent a shiver down my spine.
"You have to say that you're my best friend."
"The hell I do, your amazing Ryder and any guy you end up with needs to know that. Enough of this now you need to eat, because that's my kid in there and I can promise you he is hungry."
"He... I don't even know what it is yet, speaking of which I have an appointment next week to find out the sex. If your around and want to come, I'm just putting it out there."
"Give me the day and time and I'll be there."
"It's Friday at two, if your busy or something its ok, I can just bring Holly or something."
"I'll be there I promise. I'll pick you up at one."
"I can just meet you there, I know your busy and you got that charity event Sunday you're getting ready for."
"Don't freaking argue with me Ryder. I'll pick you up at one."
He pushes a plate toward me,
"Now eat."
I can't understand why all of a sudden, he is just so super sweet. Joey has never been the overly sweet type. After dinner we just headed into the downstairs.
"So, Ry I got an Idea.....darts?"
"So, you telling me you want me to, spank you, because you never can beat me."
"Well, if you really feel the need to spank me."
"If I see your ass, I'm going to kick it."
"Well, if you're so confident you can beat me want to make a bet?"
"Hold up I remember last bet it left me drunk horny and pregnant all in the same night."
"I promise you I didn't leave you horny, I finished you off like three times before you passed out."
"Oh my god shut up!"
"What not going to lie about it. Thats, ok you got me like four times good."
"God shut up, we both know that that was a mistake, you know it and I know it."
"What if it wasn't?"
"What?"
"You know what never mind.... so anyways wanna bet?"
"You know what fine, what is the bet then?"
"Ok, you win, I'll let you drive my BMW for a week."
"And if you win?'
"You spend the night......"
"Spend the night? Your tripping....."
"Yes, spend the night. Listen you don't have to sleep in my room with me if you don't want too, I got plenty of extra space."
"Then what do you really get out of this?"
"You here in the morning so we can go to my parents and tell them."
"Nope never mind, not happening no bet!"
"Why not, my parents need to know, so does your dad."
"I'm not ready Joey, ok."
"Fine, but you still stay over, and I take you to breakfast."
"Fine."
We played darts for two hours and Joey played like a man on a mission, and he totally destroyed me, and I never lose against him. Looks like I'm spending the night.
"Well like you were saying you can beat me."
He chucked and I honestly couldn't be mad at it. Would it be so bad spending the night. I used to spend the night at his parents all the time. Granted his parents were always home and I always slept in his sister's room. To me this feels oddly familiar but different all at the same time.
"Ok I'm going to grab a beer; you want a coke or something?"
"ok...."
We walked into the kitchen, and I slid on to a chair at the island.
"Joey let me ask you something...."
"alright"
he slid a can of coke across the island and opened his beer, taking a long pull.
" How do you really feel about everything, you have to be feeling some type of way?"
"Want the truth?"
"You already know that answer Joey....."
"I'm all in with this baby."
"What you mean all in?"
"Exactly what I just said all in, I'm not mad about it, actually the opposite. Listen did we do this the traditional way no, but I would rather have this baby with my best friend than someone that five years down the road I couldn't stand. I know my parents will love this baby. My mother will kill me when she finds out I'm not still a virgin."
"Joey you and me for that matter haven't been virgins since 15."
"Yeah, would have been easier if we just did that together too."
"What loose our virginity?"
"Yeah"
"What the hell Joey?"
"No seriously, like this baby you're my best friend so I know that I'm not going to regret it and we get along. You can't tell me you now are happy with your decision to lose you virginity to Austin. I know I regret losing mine with Shay."
"You're not wrong."
"Anyways like I was saying my parents will be ecstatic you know my mother; she would steal babies if she could. "
"Steal babies you are on some shit."
"Am not, but anyways it's like two in the morning maybe we should head to bed."
I have butterflies getting tied in the knots in my stomach and it's not the baby. Somehow, I don't trust myself being alone here with Joey. It's not him it's me. I followed him to the top of the stairs, and he stopped.
"Well, you can take the room next to mine if you want your own room."
"Ok......"
I watched him walk into his room and close the door. I walked into the spare room and tossed my hoodie on the chair. I just stopped for a second and took a deep breath trying to steady the nerves I was feeling still about being here. Then I realized I didn't have anything to sleep in. I walked into hallway and went over and tapped on Joey's door.
"Joey....."
"Doors open"
I walked in and I just stopped dead in my tracks there he was stripped down to his boxer briefs lighting the fireplace and I had to bite my lip.
"You don't have to knock Ry it's just you and me here."
"I ummmm"
"Yeah?"
"I need something to sleep in if you don't mind me asking."
"You know where my clothes are...You alright?"
"I just didn't expect when I walked in that you would be in your underwear, I feel like I'm intruding."
That isn't exactly how I was feeling but I couldn't say how I really felt.
"Ry the only reason I'm sleeping like this is because your here."
"What!"
"No not like you're thinking, I sleep with nothing on Ryder, I can't do that around you."
"Oh....."
I quickly scrambled and grabbed the first tee shirt I seen and headed to the door.
"I guess I'll see you in the morning...."
There was an obvious tension in the room and we both felt it. I was just about to walk out when he said,
"Ry Ry, why don't you just stay in here? We can watch a movie together or something."
"I don't know if that's the best idea Joey."
"What could happen?"
I just glared at him.
"Like you said 100 times it was only because we were drinking, you're not drinking."
"You had a couple beers..."
"I'm far from drunk Ryder. Come on come lay with me like we used to. You used to be able to lay next to me in a bed and not think twice."
"That was different then."
"How so?"
"We were kids, and we never did that..."
"Ryder yes we had sex, it doesn't make it any different than any other time we just lay in the bed watching a movie. I know how to control myself you know, unless it's you, you don't trust."
I just looked at him and its if he read my mind, I don't trust myself with him and that makes it dangerous to me because then I couldn't control the feeling that I know will bubble to the surface and I can't face those. I know if I don't go and just lay there, he will figure it out and I can't do that.
"I guess it will be ok if I just sleep here."
"I thought you see it my way."
He let out this small laugh that almost sounded sinister.
"Jump on in and find a movie, I forgot to arm the alarm, I'll be right back."
I slid into his bed and laid my head back against the pillows, they smell like him and I internally moaned. All I could think was if he tried something do, I honestly want to stop him. Deep down I think I want him to. He walked in and I was lost in thought.
"Hey what you doing?
"Just thinking...."
"About?"
"Nothing."
"Anyways, I brought you up a ginger ale in case when you wake up your nauseous."
"Thanks, grabbed you a beer I see."
"Yeah, why does it bother you?"
"No, you do you."
"Did you find a movie?"
"No, you just pick something."
He scanned the movies stopping at Child Play and I couldn't help but smile.
"I see that smile you remembering it too."
"Yeah, that was a good memory life was so simple then."
"You know maybe you are making it more complicated than it has to be, maybe everything you need is right in front of you, you just have to figure it out."
"What are you talking about?"
"You'll eventually figure it out Ryder, let's just watch the movie."
I watched him chug down the beer and placed the bottle on the table next to him and switched off the light. I laid there watching the movie for a little while and that same part as in the movie theater that night when we were 16 played and I jumped burying my face in his arm. I froze when I realized what I did. Then I hear him whisper ever so softly,
"Ryder"
I leaned up and that's when I felt it. His lips softly against mine.
"It's alright I won't let the mean doll hurt you."
I sat stunned for a second and I leaned up looking at him,
"Thats kind of how I like to remember that movie. Let's get some sleep Ryder."
"Joey...."
"Goodnight Ryder"
"Damn it Joey turn around."
I heard a small laugh.
"Goodnight, Ry...."
And that was it, he just fell asleep like he didn't just kiss me, and I sit here stunned.