Warnings: swearing, mental breakdown, major character death, violence, etc.
"Joonie? "
That single voice. It was enough for Namjoon to look up. The first movement he made since thirty-five hours. That sweet familiar voice was enough.
The waiting room was dark, since it was almost midnight and most of the lights had been turned off. The only sounds that could be heard in the otherwise silent room were the soft snores escaping Taehyung, Jungkook and Hoseok and the ticking of the clock on the wall.
But Namjoon wasn't aware of anything but the ethereal figure of the love of his life glowing like the moon in the darkness of the night.
He couldn't believe his eyes. He had known Jin to be struggling to survive the terrible accident he had. He knew that he was fighting between life and death... but now he was here in front of him, proving all the incidents that took place several hours before false, and he was still as beautiful as ever, totally unharmed.
"J-Jin." Namjoon's voice was hoarse, both from not talking for a long time and from strong emotions.
His moon was here, completely unhurt. Safe. And seeing him okay made him forget all the pain and hopelessness he'd felt while waiting outside.
Namjoon couldn't help but notice how ethereal Jin looked in the darkness. His dark hair was long and fluffy, small curly locks framing his smooth beautiful face. His dark doe eyes were shining and the contented look in them made him calm as well. Jin's plump lips were parted slightly as he looked back at Namjoon, his head slightly tilted.
Jin was dressed completely in white. The soft material hung from his bare and beautiful wide shoulders, and hugged his slender body perfectly, and fell just above his knees. A long white robe hung from around his waist, partially covering his slim legs.
He looked so innocent... so pure... like he always did.
"Joonie," he said sweetly again, before taking slow steps towards him, making no sound at all.
Namjoon could say nothing, too captivated by his loveliness. He could never get enough of Jin, specially now. He always found his beauty out of the world, but now, after fearing that he'd lose him forever, he found himself cherishing him more than he ever did.
He only snapped out of his daze once Jin came right in front of him and placed a small soft hand on his cheek, caressing it. And Namjoon felt like he got heaven to himself.
"You're okay," He breathed, leaning to Jin's touch and holding his delicate hand in his much bigger one.
Jin smiled, and Namjoon knew that he'd never get over how beautiful the smile was.
"I'm more than okay, sweetheart," he said in a voice that was like honey to his lover's ears. "I'm content with how my life was. The only regrets that I have are the pain and sadness I've caused all of you. I'm so sorry, Joonie."
Both of them looked around at the three sleeping figures behind Namjoon. Taehyung and Jungkook were cuddled next to each other, and Hoseok was using the armrest of the farthest chair to rest his head on.
Sighing, Namjoon looked back at Jin whose smile had faltered, replaced by a sad expression. It broke Namjoon's heart.
"Don't be sorry, Jinnie," he told him, closing his eyes as his hands circled Jin's waist, hugging him gently, as if afraid he might break if he hugged too tightly.
"It's not your fault, everything that'd happened. You couldn't have stopped it. Just... just please don't make me fear losing you ever again. It's so painful, love. So painful. I can't take it, Jin. I can't take the pain of losing you."
"That's why I'm here, darling," Jin said endearingly, moving his hand away from Namjoon's cheek and stroking his fading blonde dyed hair. "I hate to see you suffering so much because I love you, Namjoon."
"I love you too, Jin," Namjoon whispered, looking up into the eyes of his fiance with nothing but admiration and true love.
"My Joonie looks so tired," Jin said adoringly, cupping Namjoon's face and kissing his forehead. "You should sleep now, darling."
"I'm not tired," Namjoon lied, pulling Jin closer by the waist to make him straddle his lap and burying his face in his warm chest.
"Lies," Jin giggled, his laughter musical, as he put his arms around Namjoon's neck as he nuzzled his nose against his chest. "Go to sleep, Joonie. I'm here with you."
"You won't leave me if I fall asleep?" Namjoon asked, his question childlike but the scared look on his face clearly showed how much he was devoted to Jin.
"No, silly," Jin smiled, as Namjoon pulled him closer onto his lap so that there was no space between them. "I'll always be by your side."
Jin's arms were wrapped around Namjoon's shoulders as he was made to sit on his legs while Namjoon's large arms were hooked around his small middle, his head resting on Jin's shoulder. His safe haven was Jin's arms. He'd no other worries.
The warmth of Jin's embrace, his deep angelic voice singing softly, and the way he ran his fingers through his hair lulled Namjoon to sleep. He fell asleep, holding onto Jin as if he'd leave if he did, and thus, his pain and tiredness ended.
For the time being.
The last thing he remembered before getting swallowed by darkness was Jin pressing a feather-soft kiss on his lips.
°°°♡ °°°
Namjoon woke up abruptly at the sound of footsteps, soft groans, and blinding lights. He was leaning back on the chair, his arms crossed before him.
Jin was gone.
He frantically looked around the lit up room, only to find Hoseok, Taehyung and Jungkook besides him. Hoseok had gotten up, his dark hair messy and eyes tired though he'd slept, while the other two were rubbing their eyes. Namjoon looked the other way to see if Jin was there.
But he came face-to-face with Jin's doctor, whose face showed deep regret and graveness.
"D-doctor."
Hoseok had taken hesitant steps to stand across the doctor, his face clearly showing that he was bracing himself for the worst. Taehyung and Jungkook had stood up too, apprehensive to hear about their hyung's condition. Only Namjoon remained sitting, his heart beating so fast it hurt.
Jin said that he wouldn't leave him. He knew that he'd not desert him. Then why... why was he gone? It- it couldn't have been a dream, could it? Namjoon was totally confirmed it wasn't. Jin will keep his promise, won't he?
"Mr. Jung," the doctor spoke, looking at Hoseok with sadness.
"How- how's Jin?" Hoseok stuttered, his face pale. "Is he okay?" He sounded like he doubted it.
The doctor sighed, looking defeated. "I'm sorry, Mr. Jung. We did our best, but he had lost too much blood. He was battling for the last thirty-five hours, but... we were unable to save him." The man bowed his head. "My deepest condolences."
The doctor gave the four young men a sympathetic look as they stared at him, speechless from what he just told them, too shocked that it took moments before they finally realized... finally felt that Jin had left them. Forever.
He was never coming back.
They couldn't believe it. Their hyung leaving them on their own. They looked around, their hearts falling, when they realized that he wasn't going to burst into the room, laughing his 'windshield wiper' laugh and yelling, "I'm right here!"
He had left them forever. They won't see his smile or hear his voice ever again.
And the sad unbelievable truth sank into their minds and the pain of the very thought was crushing and torturous.
Taehyung and Jungkook's eyes met, and they threw their arms around each other and hugged one another tightly, breaking down just a second later, as they grew conscious of the loss that was worse than knowing that the world was about to end.
Gone. Jin was gone.
Hoseok's legs trembled as they grew weak... weak from knowing that he'd lost one of the most important people in his life. He fell on his knees on the ground, clenching his fists on his sides and gritting his teeth as tears blurred his vision, splashing onto the grey floor.
Gone.
"Sorry," he whispered, sobbing as he squeezed his eyes shut, clutching his chest as if that'd soothe the pain he felt within. It didn't.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry!" He screamed the last word, banging his fist on the floor with such force it stung, but it was nothing to him. He didn't care.
Two nurses came rushing up to his aid but Hoseok would let no one come near him.
"No! Stay away from me!" Hoseok grabbed onto a chair for support as he howled in complete misery at his loss. Their loss. "I'm fucking sorry. I-I-I'm so sorry, Jin!"
Hoseok rested his head against the seat as he pressed his palm firmly over his mouth to quieten himself, his face streaked with tears.
I'm sorry I broke my promise, he thought, crying painfully as he knew that Jin would never hear him, never assure him that it wasn't his fault. I'm sorry I couldn't save you. Protect you as I'd promised. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, hyung.
Taehyung and Jungkook were sobbing quietly, hugging each other for comfort, for strength, swaying on the spot, tears soaking each other's jacket.
Namjoon was glaring at the doctor with disgust all the time. How dare he lie about not being able to save Jin?
He was okay. He said he'd never leave him.
And Namjoon was sure it wasn't a dream. He knew that it wasn't. And Jin said he'd never leave him.
"You're lying," he spat, standing up so that his face was inches away from the doctor, his eyes showing nothing but anger.
The doctor sighed, placing a sympathetic hand on the young man's shoulder. "I'm sorry, Mr. Kim. I know you're in shock, specially since-"
"Shut up!" Namjoon shouted furiously, and everyone jumped, except Hoseok, who was conscious about nothing but the unbelievable amount of pain at the loss of his best friend.
Taehyung and Jungkook looked up at Namjoon, and though they did, their tears never stopped streaming down their faces.
Namjoon continued to look at the doctor with venom. "Where's Jin," he said curtly, his voice hoarse.
"Mr. Kim," the doctor said carefully, since he could sense what would happen if he said something provoking. "I-"
"I fucking asked where he is!" Namjoon screamed, lunging at the doctor and grabbing him by the collar. "Where is Jin, you bastard? What have you done to him?"
"I-I-" the man began, only to be shaken violently by the younger.
"Jin isn't dead!" Namjoon growled, mercilessly pinning him down onto the floor. "He talked to me! He said he'd never leave me! Jin would never lie to me! Tell me- Tell me where he is!"
The doctor was choking and sputtering under the pressure of Namjoon's hand that was pinning him down by the throat. The nurses, the two guards who'd been standing at the entrance, Taehyung and Jungkook pulled Namjoon away from him with difficulty as he continued to scream at the doctor and struggling to get free. Tears were now running down his face as well.
"H-hyung, please," Taehyung whimpered, sobbing helplessly as he held onto his older brother's arm.
It was taking all five people to hold Namjoon, who hadn't stopped screaming though his throat was threatening to split.
"Jin is not dead" Namjoon's voice scarcely sounded like a human, and tears soaked the front of his shirt. "Where is he? W-what... What have you done to him?"
Namjoon bawled loudly, pulling at his hair. He felt like he was losing all sense and logic. Only Jin could keep him sane.
"Jin!" He screamed again, going limp so that he was indulging all his weight on the ones holding him back, shaking uncontrollably.
"Where are you, J-Jinnie?" He sobbed. "You said you'd stay. Why- why would y-you l-leave me like t-this?"
His anger was gone... replaced by misery and heart-brokenness. Even his Jinnie lied to him?
In the midst of his suffering, he took no notice of his surroundings that were slowly becoming blurry. He couldn't take it anymore. Everything went black and his mind was blank, just like he was within.
°°°♡ °°°
Soft hands. Fingers stroking his hair softly. That was the first thing Namjoon felt as he regained consciousness from his uneasy slumber.
His eyes fluttered open and he saw that the hand combing his hair was Jin's. Bending over him as he sat next to him on the bed he was lying on, one of his legs hanging off the edge and his other hand resting on Namjoon's chest.
Namjoon sat up so that he'd to look down at Jin's glowing face, opened his mouth to speak, but no sound came out, and Jin moved up and leaned forward to put his lips on his, silencing him.
Namjoon closed his eyes, as he felt the racing of his heart slow down with every moment Jin's soft plump lips lingered against his ones, making his pain of losing him wash away for the moment.
But once Jin moved away and went back to caressing his face lovingly, Namjoon knew that he was dreaming.
He was in their old bedroom, the same room they first confessed their love for one another, had shared their first kiss, had their first date watching a movie and eating pizza because they'd been teenagers without the money to arrange something more exquisite... and this was the place he asked Jin to marry him and be his forever... all that was past. This place was the past, a place cut off from the present, the reality, a doomed place without Jin in it... a place he couldn't leave unless he was dreaming.
Tears streamed down his face, making his vision blurry. Jin wiped his tears away.
"Joonie?" Jin asked sweetly and sadly.
"Y-you said you'd not leave me," Namjoon choked, holding Jin's hands to his face. "Why did you have to l-leave, Jinnie? Why did you leave me a-alone?"
"I'm sorry, Joonie," Jin whispered sadly. "Nobody could've change what was written in my fate. In our fate. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Joonie."
"I should have been the one to die, not you!" Namjoon burst out, letting go of Jin's hands and crying. "I deserved to die, not you, Jin!"
"Don't say that!"
Tears trickled down Jin's face, and it surprised Namjoon so much that he stopped crying. A sob escaped Jin's full lips before he threw his arms around Namjoon's waist and buried his face in his chest, crying. Namjoon hated seeing him cry and to think that he was the reason made him feel like shit.
He pulled the smaller boy onto his lap, hugging him like his life depended on it, kissing him softly on the cheeks and forehead.
Jin finally looked up, his doe-like eyes red from crying and teary, his nose and cheeks red as well.
"Do you think I could live a life without you in it?" He whispered, his hands on Namjoon's chest as he looked firmly into his eyes. "You're my everything, Joonie."
"T-then why?" Fresh tears splashed down Namjoon's face. "Why did y-you leave me to suffer like this? W-w-why, Jinnie?"
Jin leaned forward to kiss the other's tears away before looking back into his eyes. "I love you. Do you think petty obstacles like death can separate me from you, Namjoon?" Jin shook his head slowly. "No. Nothing can pull us apart. Our love is stronger than any force that exists."
Namjoon stared at him with wide eyes, new hope soaring in his heart. He now held Jin's hands, keeping them pinned to his chest.
"Promise me," he said softly, staring deeply into his fiance's eyes. "Promise me that you'll never leave me behind."
"I promise, Joonie," Jin whispered back, "I'll stay with you. Always."
Their lips locked in a sweet gentle kiss, as if to seal the promise.
And Jin kept it.
Moments later, Namjoon felt tiredness taking over him and he laid back down, pulling Jin on top of him and hugging him tightly. They cuddled for how long Namjoon didn't know, and his eyelids began to droop but he fought to stay awake.
Jin touched his eyelids and closed them, kissing his nose afterwards. "Close your eyes, my sleepy prince," he whispered, smiling softly.
But Namjoon didn't listen to him and opened them just as the other closed them. "You'll leave me again if I fall asleep," he said, not caring how childlike he sounded.
Jin just laughed sweetly before booping his nose. "I won't ever. I'll keep my promise, don't worry. Silly Joonie. Do you think I can stay away from you for too long?"
And Jin didn't.
☆
Words: 2855
Thank you so much for reading! ❤️
I may or may not have cried writing this, but I hope it's gonna be worth it, since I've planned a happy ending eventually.
Ask away if you have questions and I'll try to answer without giving spoilers obviously <3
Till next time
IRA 💜🌈