TRIGGER WARNING:
[ bullying, attempted/failed suicide ]
***
A heavy hand coming in contact with your face made you whimper. Another hit to the side of the head made you stumble to the right and trip over your feet, resulting in you colliding with the hardwood floor beneath you.
You peered up at your father through your clumped lashes, glassy, bloodshot eyes meeting his spiteful ones. You gave him a pleading look as your bottom lip trembled.
A scream pierced through the air of the quiet house as his fist came down once again.
🌸
You shut your eyes as you wandered around the empty school hallway. It was lunchtime, so everyone was eating in the cafeteria. You, on the other hand, had no lunch money, so, like you do everyday, you powered through the day on an empty stomach. You don't get breakfast either, and when it's time for dinner at your house, you would barely call what you get a meal.
So you've had to rely on your best friend to be fed. She sometimes brought you snacks during lunch. That's actually the reason you were in the hallway; you were waiting for Lisa to show up.
You lifted your head when you heard footsteps approaching you. Before you could comprehend anything, you were pushed into the wall behind you.
Your breath hitched as you looked into the eyes of Kim Jisoo, your bully and the one person in school you hate the most. And unfortunately also the one that you love the most, too. Yeah, when you say it out loud, it probably seems crazy since she physically and mentally hurts you, but you just can't help it. Yes, you're hurt and angry that she does these things to you, but at the same time, you've fallen in love with her smile, her laugh, her beauty, and her grace-when she's not picking on you, obviously.
"Hey, dork, you there?"
You snapped out of your thoughts when you felt Jisoo slapping the side of your head to gain your attention.
"What- What do you want, Sunbaenim?" You asked quietly.
For a moment, it looked almost as if a look of pity flashed across her face, but just as soon as it appeared, it was gone.
"Aish. Even hearing your voice gives me a headache." Jisoo scoffed. "I don't want anything. I just thought I should give you a little... reminder."
Then the rest was a blur.
🌸
It was the next day now.
The air whipped past your face, blowing your hair to the left as you looked down at all the students leaving the school. The smooth railing was cold and firm in your grip.
This was your final plan for the day. Soon, after going through with this, you would have no more worries. Nobody to try to make proud, nobody to prove yourself to, nobody to fear, nobody to treat you in the way that you don't deserve. Everyone would be free from you, and you would be free from them. A win-win, no?
You slowly threw one leg over the railing, so caught up in your actions that you failed to hear the roof door being slammed open. Failing to notice the hurried footsteps approaching you.
Just as you were about to repeat your actions with the other leg, you were violently yanked off of the railing. In the blink of an eye, your body collided with another's. In a daze, you looked up and met none other than Kim Jisoo's worried gaze. Her arms were wrapped tightly around your waist, keeping you from moving although you were squirming around in her iron grip.
"What- What the hell is wrong with you?!" She questioned loudly. You noticed tears brimming her eyes.
Why is she the one that gets to cry?
You could hear her heavy breathing mingling with the cries you let out. Loud sobs slipped past your lips as the both of you slumped to the cold floor. You allowed her to stroke your hair in a soothing manner as you hiccuped quietly.
"Why?" You croaked. "Why would you stop me?!"
She looked shocked for a moment. Then, her eyes softened with guilt. "Y/N..." She whispered, looking into your eyes with sincerity in the depth of her eyes. "I- I saw you on the roof from down there and I... I wanted to apologize to you. Chaeyoung witnessed me bullying you a-and she quite literally slapped some sense into me." Jisoo chuckled sadly, looking down at you while you curled up against her body, enjoying the warmth.
Jisoo continued, "She said things that opened my eyes to how awful I was to you. Of course, as I was doing it, I felt some amount of pity, but I was too consumed by my pride to stop and apologize. But now... I realized that you don't deserve to be treated like that. You never did."
Jisoo cupped your face with her cold hands, her face inches away from yours as you gazed into her eyes. Your cries had been subdued, but the tear stains still glistened in the afternoon sun. She wiped the tears from your cheeks with the gentle stroke of her thumb.
"I'm sorry, Y/N." Jisoo whispered. You heard her voice crack. You continued to stare at her, partially shocked, as she silently cried. Her bottom lip trembled and she hung her head low.
"God. I'm so sorry." She sucked in a sharp breath.
You felt something similar to pity. Or was it empathy? No, you couldn't relate to her regret, but you could relate to her tears. You've shed more tears than you ever should have had to in your life. You're so young, yet you've been caught and trapped in a never ending cycle of abuse and bullying, so you know the familiarity of tears.
She opened her mouth to speak again.
"And it's no excuse, but... the real reason I've been lashing out and treating you like shit is because... I don't have it so good at home, and my situation makes me angry, and so I have all of this pent up anger. And I had somehow convinced myself that you were like- like some sort of thorn in my side. I would see you always smiling, acting all happy-go-lucky like you were on top of the world. I was jealous. And so I treated you poorly... I never stopped to think that maybe-just maybe-your home life might not be so different from mine. And," Jisoo paused as more tears fell from her eyes. You cried with her. "And I'm so sorry if my actions are what pushed you to want to do what you almost did!" She cried.
She tightened her grip on your waist.
"Sunbaenim." You called out.
"Jisoo. Call me Jisoo, please."
"Jisoo." You said. "I'm not gonna say that it's okay, because it's not. Your actions hurt me deeply. That plus my home life led me to this moment. But at the same time, I'm grateful for you, Unnie." You looked at her and stroked the back of her hands, which were still gently cupping your red cheeks.
"You saved my life, Jisoo." You said quietly. "You saved my life. And I'm not saying I did this just to get you to apologize, but an apology is all I've ever wanted from you. You don't understand how much this means to me. For the longest time, after several months of liking you but being hurt by you, the pain of it all is finally over." You blurted out.
It was only seconds later that you realized where you messed up. Your cheeks flushed a deeper shade of red as Jisoo stared at you with wide eyes, shock evident on her face.
"R-Repeat what you just said." She suddenly asked.
You gnawed at your bottom lip and looked up at the sky, completely ignoring her request. You both sat in silence until you felt a thumb tugging at your bottom lip, pulling it out of the clasp of your teeth. You stared into Jisoo's eyes, suddenly realizing how close your two faces were in that moment.
"U-Unnie," You whispered when you noticed that she was leaning in. She stopped and parted her lips, "What?" She asked. Her breath fanned over your lips, making you shiver.
You shifted your gaze from her lips and up to her eyes again. "If you're about to do what I think you're about to do... are you sure?" You questioned, cocking your head slightly to the side.
She chuckled quietly, a fond smile winning her lips as she pulled your face closer to hers.
"Can I?" You nodded wordlessly.
And then, your lips met in a blissful kiss.
Maybe this could blossom into something beautiful.