TW: Panic attack
Friday 19th
(Readers PoV)
"Dorogaya." Wanda's raspy voice makes its way into my ears as she softly kisses along my jaw to below my ear. "Nap time is over baby, we have people coming over soon. Time to get up."
"Five more minutes princess." I mumble rolling over with my arms around Wanda so I end up laying partially on top of her with my head tucked into her neck, my breath tickling her skin.
"Baby, we said five minutes 30 minutes ago and look, we are still in the same place." I chuckle with a groan, my hold on Wanda tightening as she tries to wiggle out of it.
"Princess, nooooo." I whine into her neck, my hands pushing between her and the bed grabbing at her shirt to make her stay.
"Baby as much as I love cuddling you and you know I would love to stay like this we have to get up."
"I don't wanna go." I pout against Wanda's neck as I feel her head turn to look at me, her finger tilting my head by my chin so I am looking up at her; her brows furrowed as her eyes search mine.
"Baby what's going on?" I pout shrugging. "Someone having an emotions day?"
Hmm a little, I just want to be held." Wanda smiles softly kissing my forehead and my eyes flutter shut as she moves them around my face softly and slowly.
"Why don't we see how you feel once the girls are over? We can hang with them and have a few glasses of wine but if you really don't want to go out we don't have to."
"But I don't want to make you stay home when you want to go out." I furrow my brows knowing that I will feel bad if Wanda stays behind because of me.
"And I'm not going to let you stay here by yourself when you're feeling like this. So if you don't want to go, we don't go. There will be other times that we can go out with the girls. But if you end up wanting to go then we will go."
"I'm just being silly of course we will go." I put my head back down into Wanda's neck, her hand moving to cup my jaw as she kisses the top of my head a few times.
"You've had a busy week at work baby, if you are drained and burnt out then do not force yourself to go to something that is going to make yourself feel worse. Okay?" I hum into her neck not really liking the idea of forcing her to stay home with me if I feel like it. "Okay baby? You're not being a burden by needing a night in because you're burnt out."
"Can we see how I feel later? I just want five more minutes." I mumble tiredly already feeling my eyes closing back up, even though I've been napping since I got back from work just over an hour ago.
"5 more minutes." It's the last thing I hear as well as feeling the softest of kisses on my hairline.
It must have been the best 5 minute nap I've ever had because when I'm woken up by the gentle kisses on the side of my face and soft voice in my ears it's the only reason I know where I am. I feel like I could have woken up in a different dimension. You know those types of naps? When you wake up with lines imprinted on your body from your blanket or clothes, your hair is a complete mess and your brain is all fuzzy and nothing makes sense within the first 5 minutes. Yeah that's the sort of nap I've just had.
"Wakey wakey dorogaya, the girls are here." Wait what.
"Huh? What's the time?" I stretch my arms and legs out as far as they go, groaning as they shake a little and I feel my back muscles release all the tension they are holding, scrunching my eyes closed to keep the light of the room from blinding me.
"It's just a little after 7." I scrunch my brows rolling onto my back and prompting myself up on my elbows as I slowly open my eyes.
"Since when does 5 minutes become another hour?" I rub the sleep from my eyes flopping back onto the bed looking up to the ceiling which soon morphs into Wanda's face as she leans over me.
"Since you were tired and I thought some extra sleep would do no harm."
"Hmm thank you." I smile lazily as Wanda leans down to peck my lips a few times.
"Come down to the kitchen when you're ready, there is no rush. I've explained to the girls you are resting from a long week."
"I will be down in a minute, I just need to get changed out of my sweats." Wanda shakes her head kissing the corner of my mouth as I stretch myself out again feeling my muscles seize up a little.
"Stay in your sweats, no one should care and you can get changed once we are ready to leave if you decide to come with us."
"Sure?" Wanda's hand lands on my chest as she leans down to give me an eskimo kiss.
"Of course baby."
"I'm loving the affection by the way." I mumble tilting my head to capture Wanda's lips in a soft kiss.
"You are a lot more affectionate when you're sleepy and you've said before your love language is touch and affection so I will make sure I never deny you either."
"How is it possible that I fall for you more and more everyday, because I do. Just when I think I can't fall in love with you anymore you do something that makes me fall even deeper."
"Baby." Wanda whispers out hiding her face behind her hair that has fallen from its place behind her ears.
"It's true. I just keep falling and falling and falling. I don't think I will ever truly stop."
"And I will always be ready to catch you whenever you fall more." Wanda allows me to brush some of her hair back behind her ear, smiling when I see her rose tinted cheeks and the pure love and adoration in her eyes.
"Although I would love to remain trapped in our bubble of love, there are people waiting on us." I sit up slowly, Wanda moving back to sit on my thighs as I do.
"One more kiss." Wanda pouts cutely, tapping her finger against her lip.
"Using my trick I see." Wanda bats her eyelashes tapping her lips a few more times and I simply lean forward. "You're so cute. You know I should start calling you cutie pie."
"Nope, not happening." Wanda rolls off of me giggling with a wide smile.
"What about cuddle bug, oh or love bug! I mean you are my cuddle bug, You're like a Koala."
"I can live with those." I lean on my side so I am laying next to Wanda.
"Well, shall we go down and say hello to our friends love bug?" Wanda nods, kissing me one more time before scrambling off the bed.
"Piggy back?" I chuckle moving to crouch in front of Wanda.
"On you get cuddle bug." I feel Wanda smile against my neck as she tucks her head against it, her arms wrapping gently around the top of my shoulders and her legs around my waist as I stand back up.
"I'm really liking the new name baby." She kisses the shell of my ear as I do a small jump to hoist her up a little bit, my hands now under her thighs keeping her up.
"Well it's going to be sticking around so I guess it's a good thing you like it." Wanda giggles softly resting her chin where my shoulder meets my neck kicking her feet cutely.
"The world is really different from up here." I laugh at her randomness looking back at her a little as I squeeze her thigh gently to let her know I'm listening. "I mean you are so tall, sure it's because of the spinal stuff and leg stuff inside you but still, to be this tall seems like it would be pretty cool."
"All I see is the top of people's heads all day, nothing cool about seeing bald spots and receding hairlines." Wanda pecks the top of my shoulder as I start walking towards the door, her grip tightening around me as I stumble on the first step getting used to the new centre of gravity.
"True, but I have to see the scowls on peoples faces all day. I would much rather see the top of their heads then the way they all seem to be so grumpy. Why would you want to be grumpy? I mean there is so much to be happy and smiley about, like the snow that's come early this year. Or the wildlife within our parks slowly returning, or stopping for coffee on the way to work and the barista wishes you a good day, or if you have a day off you get to choose what to do with it. Why be so mad at something that is out of your control, like maybe having to go to work or sleeping through your alarm, or your coffee machine breaking? You know?"
"You know I love how you are a glass half full kind of person, you see the good and the bad but you choose to concentrate on the happy."
"But I don't forget about the bad, because then that's just denial." I hum in agreement. "Pietro was always the don't take life for granted and make the most of what your given sort of person. Why allow such a little inconvenience to throw off your mood for the day? Sure you can be mad or sad in the moment but don't carry it with you."
"Your brother sounds like the kind of guy I actually need in my life." Me and Wanda chuckle as I step out of the doorway, but her hand on the edge of the door frame stops us going anywhere.
"I think the two of you would really get along, if he ever wakes up. You both hold that chaotic energy, a bit like you and Kate, and I just wish you will get the chance to meet him."
"I mean we can try and visit him at some point." Wanda lets go of the door frame using her finger on my chin to get me to look at her, her eyes searching my features.
"You don't like hospitals." It's not a question, simply her telling me something I have already informed her of on one of our many late night talks.
"No, but your brother is important to you and I am willing to try for you." Wanda bites her lip, her eyes flicking up to look in mine as a smile tugs at her lips.
"I can't ask you to do something that makes you that uncomfortable." I peck her lips a few times.
"You aren't asking, I'm offering." She goes to say something but I press a soft kiss to her lips, silencing anything she was about to say. "We can try."
"Okay." She agrees easily, her eyes closing at the feeling of my lips on hers, her hand moving to the back of the neck to keep me from pulling away as she tilts her head slightly to give my bottom lip attention.
"Again really!" Me and Wanda pull away from each other startled at the voice, looking down the hall to see Kate covering her eyes. "Yes you guys are in love and it's all mushy mushy, I loves you, mwah mwah mwah. But how many times do I have to catch you with your tongues down one another's throat?"
"Maybe if you get yourself a lover then you won't have to deal with us." I punctuate the word lover earning a groan from Kate, rolling her eyes as she does, and flipping me off.
"Nope, I have decided to stay single forever." I raise a brow as Wanda buries her face into my neck chuckling. "Okay maybe not forever but I don't want to date right now, just not feeling it."
"That's cool, just let me know when you are because I might have a few people I can set you up on a blind date with." Kate looks up at me surprised as I start walking down the hall towards her.
"Really?" Wanda snorts out a small laugh against my neck making me chuckle.
"What happened to not wanting to date?" I make it to Kate, my hands back on Wanda's thighs as I lift her back up a bit more, looking at Kate amusedly.
"Right, right, but I mean if you already have ideas no harm in trying."
"Sure, I will see what I can do." Kate grins widely, bumping her shoulder against mine gently as the three, well two plus my cuddle bug, walk into the kitchen.
"Look who finally decided to show their face!" I chuckle as Nat lifts her wine glass up slightly, no malice in her words, her eyes moving to look at Wanda. "I'm assuming you're still doing the every weekend thing and she hasn't seen you for nearly a week."
"Of course, not that I mind since I was the one who wanted to stay in bed cuddling in the first place." My eyes wander away from Nat to the other women spread out on Wanda's couches, the TV playing in the background with the volume on low; no one really watching it anyway. "Sharon it's good to see you again and you too Karen."
"Good to see you again Y/n, it's been a while." Sharon walks into the kitchen grabbing a wine glass, lifting the bottle in silent question before filling her own glass up.
"It has, and I think I will start with a beer instead of wine." She nods making her way to the fridge to grab me a beer.
"I didn't think you guys would actually invite me to girls night." We all look at Karen who has a shy smile. "So thank you, I haven't been out in so long."
"Well we are all friends here, including you so girls night will always include you." Wanda moves her hand to rest on my shoulder then rests her chin on top of that.
"Well I don't really have friends so this is nice." Karen takes a small sip of wine before letting out a surprised squeal as Kate jumps onto the couch next to her.
"Well this is the most random group of friends I've ever laid eyes on, I think that makes us pretty cool." We all chuckle nodding in agreement. "I mean we have us the children, then the adults who like hanging with us children because we are so down to earth and cool. Then the two love birds over there, that somehow are the reason this group exists."
"To Y/n and Wanda, and bringing us together!" Me and Wanda laugh, Wanda hiding her face in my neck and I know she is blushing when her hot skin touches mine, as Karen lifts her wine glass in the air.
"To randomness and the best group of people I've met." Kate clinks her drink with Karen as Sharon passes me my beer and Wanda her wine glass, which I assume is from earlier.
"To us." Nat states simply and we all hold our drinks up to that repeating her words with laughs and wide smiles.
"You've been rather quiet Yelena, you good?" I look at Yelena who is already looking at me, her head tilted slightly as her eyes once again look me up and down.
"Yeah I'm good." Her brows scrunch slightly. "Are you wearing that out?"
"Yelena." Natasha scolds looking at me apologetically.
"What? I'm just saying we are going out, like out out and I'm pretty sure she is not going to be let into any clubs wearing sweatpants and a hoodie." I clear my throat feeling a little awkward, only relaxing when Wanda kisses my neck softly a few times.
"Breathe for me." I let out a soft breath that got stuck with the lump in my throat.
"I am going to get changed before we go, I kind of just woke up from a nap and Wanda said it was cool just to come down like this." I shrug slightly, and Wanda wiggles behind me letting me know she wants to be put down so I slowly lower her to the floor.
"You can't be that tired already, it's not even that late." Yelena shakes her head taking a sip from her beer.
"Yel." Wanda's stern voice startles me slightly, her arms instinctively wrapping around my waist placing gentle kisses to my spine. "Sorry baby."
"It's okay." I gently pull Wanda in front of me, so her back is against my front, wrapping my arms around her waist and kissing the top of her head. "I simply was napping after work, Yelena, it's been a long week for me and I didn't want to put a downer on tonight. So I napped to try and recharge some of my energy and social battery for tonight."
"A busy week? Sure." Yelena shakes her head taking another sip of her drink and I avert my eyes as everyone falls silent not knowing what to say. "We work in the same place Y/n yet I'm still here putting in some effort."
"I mean I can go get changed now, I don't mind." Wanda's hold on me tightens ever so slightly, a few more kisses being placed around my back.
"You're fine dorogaya, no one but Yelena seems to have an issue with it."
"Yes Yel, what is your problem with the way Y/n is dressed? She practically lives here she can dress how the fuck she wants." Natasha raises a single brow, taking a sip from her glass as she stares at Yelena.
"I'm just saying we are guests and she hasn't put in much effort to great or even dress, and she blames it on a long week and work and being tired. It's a little pathetic if you ask me."
"It's fine I can just go get changed." I mumble looking down at Wanda's hands as they slide under my top, her fingers gently tracing patterns on my skin.
"There is no need. Just stay as you are, if that's what makes you comfortable." Sharon says, Yelena looking at her in somewhat of disbelief before holding her hands up in defeat.
"Fine, fine, I guess you win."
"Wanda, what have you cooked us for dinner?" I smile at Kate's attempt to change the subject, smiling more when Wanda claps her hands together excitedly.
"Oh yes, dinner. Okay so it's a new recipe that my mom sent me, but I thought why not give it a go and see what you guys think. And if we don't like it then we can always order pizza or something instead, or whatever you guys want really." Wanda rambles as she walks to the oven. "I think it's just about done. Baby could you quickly just set the table up, you can put plates on the table and I will just put the dish in the middle."
"Of course princess." I place my beer down on the kitchen island and kiss the top of Wanda's head as I walk behind her to get to the cupboards.
"So where are the boys?" Natasha grabs the plates from my hand as I start to grab the cutlery.
"They are at one of their friends having a sleepover. They've been wanting to have one for a while but we never found the time for me to at least meet one of the parents, since I don't want to send them to a complete strangers place. But they have my contact details and I have theirs." Wanda explains and I smile as I see her smiling to herself looking at the dish she is taking from the oven.
"That will be nice for them." Karen joins me and Natasha in getting the table ready, putting the salad and a few sauces down then taking a seat placing her drink down on a coaster.
"Definitely." I look at Kate and Yelena who are laughing and giggling to themselves, making me smile. I'm glad to see them getting along. "Are you two joining us?"
"Yes!" Kate and Yelena are quick to scramble up from the couch taking their seats next to each other at the table.
"Right everyone sit who isn't sitting, the food is on the way." The few of us that are still standing move to sit down, Sharon sits next to Yelena with Natasha sitting at one end of the table next to Sharon. I take a seat next to the head of the table as Karen takes a seat next to me.
Wanda leans over placing the food on the table, as I gently kick out the free chair at the head of the table back so she can take a seat. Wanda kisses the top of my head in thanks, her hands gently squeezing my shoulders as she moves to take her seat and I look down to the food, my mouth watering simply at the look of it.
"This looks amazing, Wands." I take a hold of her hand bringing it up to my lips to gently kiss along her knuckles.
"Are we going to have to put up with it all night?" Yelena grumbles, pointing her fork at me and Wanda.
"Leave them alone, they're in love." Kate bumps her shoulder against Yelena's while also pulling her arm back down so the fork is no longer pointing our way. "And we are their friends so don't be rude to them about the way they choose to show their affections."
"Wha..." Yelena looks at Kate a little shocked at her defensive tone.
"She is right, Yel, if it bothers you that much just don't look. You're giving the impression you don't like them together." Sharon states simply as she serves herself some of the delicious looking food.
"I was just saying this is a girls night, we are all here to have fun not watch them you know." She waves her hands at us with a small scowl. "Do the PDA or whatever it's called."
"Yelena, shut up already and eat your food." Nat interrupts before anything else can be said, Yelena grumbling as she takes some food and grumpily starts to eat it. "And you owe both Y/n and Wanda an apology. They are hosting us for dinner and you are acting like a petulant child. So just stop before I treat you like a child and put you in a time out."
"It's fine." I try to brush it off, ignoring the way I see Wanda look at me shaking her head with her mouth slightly agape.
"It's really not." Nat argues back.
"Look Y/n said it's fine, so it's fine." Yelena decides to speak up again. "Right Y/n, I'm allowed to have an opinion on something when it's happening across from me."
"I mean..."
"Y/n you're the one who says opinions matter right?" Yelena raises her brow and I shrink a little under everyone's gaze, the rest of the group quiet as they watch the interaction.
"I mean sure, I guess I do."
"Exactly, so why is this situation any different?"
"Yelena." Natasha scowls in a hushed tone.
"No, I want to know if Y/n thinks she has the right to take away my opinion on something when I am witnessing the thing I have an opinion on."
"I'm not trying to take your opinion away, Yelena."
"But you also aren't agreeing that I am allowed an opinion on the matter." Yelena points her fork at me as she speaks, the quick action making me flinch slightly and I feel Wanda shift her chair back a bit, her grip on my hand tightening as the other holds the edge of the table.
"Yelena what the fuck is wrong with you?" My eyes dart to Kate who has gone into defensive mode, sitting up straight with her shoulders back as she glares at Yelena.
"Wrong with me? Nothing at all. What's wrong with Y/n is the question we should be asking?"
"Yelena enough!" I flinch at Natasha's loud voice, my eyes dropping to see the grip on her fork is turning her knuckles white.
"Wow now I'm the one in trouble? I am simply asking a question and I'm the one getting shouted at." Yelena clicks her tongue shaking her head. "It's always poor, sad, broken Y/n. How can we help Y/n better? Oh don't do this or that around Y/n because you might trigger her little sensitive self. Boo hoo, man the fuck up I say and move on. Everyone has a tough life, doesn't mean you have to put it on show for everyone else to see!"
"Yelena!" I hear a chair drop to the floor, flinching when I see Wanda's hand move quickly from mine, dropping my head to look down at my feet which are rapidly tapping at the floor; my legs bouncing noticeably fast.
"Look at her, she can't even look at us. She is just acting like some scared fucking puppy all because some suka was a little bit mean to her. Oh poor, beaten down, scared little Y/n. I'm fed up with having to walk on eggshells because she can't get her shit together and see that we are not going to hurt her. But no she has to keep the act up because the moment it stops then what does she have left? That's right fucking everything because she has the money to by herself happiness. So drop the fucking act Y/n and start acting your fucking age, you're not a little kid anymore."
"Yelena shut the fuck up right now! What the hell has gotten into you!" Natasha's voice sends the room into silence, my hands balling into fists in my hair as I try and remain in control already feeling my ration thoughts being pushed out.
"Nothing has gotten into me. She played the victim a few weeks ago and she is doing it again today. She can't just push her things to the side for one moment, and stop making herself the centre of everyone's attention. We all have fucking issues but do I go around telling poeple how they can and can't act arrived me just in case i get triggered. No. because i suck it up and get on with life. But Y/n is so stuck in her own head that she can't see she is pulling everyone down with her!"
The sound of a smack echoes around the room, followed by some cursing in both Russian and English. The sound of another chair scraping along the floor makes me cringe and curl up into myself more, squeezing my eyes shut.
"What was that?" Is the only thing Yelena says, and I can only assume she is the one who got hit.
"I don't know, I'm sorry, but you do not get to talk about my bestie like that."
"Okay wow, everyone jump to poor helpless Y/n's defence. Fucking Suka." Her fist collides with the table and I flinch to the side pushing myself off my chair, well more like falling and sliding myself against the wall.
I don't hear anything else being said as I feel myself being pulled beneath a raging sea, the waves crashing on top of me with such force all the air is expelled from my lungs. I try to open my eyes but the tears blur my vision, the corners of my sight dark as I try to understand where I am. My feelings are eating me alive, swallowing me whole and I feel the world around me start to spin as it all becomes too much. As I lose myself to the panic, losing nearly all the control over my own body the feeling of anger grows.
I pull my hands from my hair, shouting out a cry and hit the wall behind me. Once, twice, over and over as I shout and cry. My legs that were pushing me against the wall kick out in front of me as I feel the tears flowing down my face, my voice starting to become scratchy from shouting, my throat dry and sore.
"Stupid, stupid, stupid." My legs grow weaker, simply pushing and slipping against the floor, my hands sore from hitting the wall, my hits getting weaker and weaker. "It's my fault, my fault. It's all my fault. So stupid, I'm so stupid."
"Hey, hey baby." The soothing voice manages to break through the noise in my head, everything in my mind going silent all at once; it's deafening. "I need you to breathe for me, in and out, just need you to breathe."
"I-I ca-ca-can't breathe, I can't. I-I-I can.." I feel the burn in my lungs now, my breathing erratic and it's making me dizzy.
"Okay, we're going to do this together." I don't properly register anything that's happening, until I feel my body being pushed forward slightly and Wanda moving to sit behind me. "In and out. Just like we've practised."
A pair of arms wrap around me, grabbing hold of my hands to hold them tightly in my lap, squeezing me gently but with enough force to create a pressure my body can feel. Her legs are either side of mine allowing them to pull me back against them. That's when I feel it. Her chest moving up and down at a steady rhythm. Her arms gently squeezing me more as she breathes in then slowly releasing some of the pressure as she breathes out.
"In and out for me baby, in and out." I sob as I let my body fall into hers more, feeling her breathing, listening to it as she puts her head closer to mine so I can hear it, whispering every few breaths. "In and out, doing so well, keep going. Just in and out, in and out."
"I-I-I can't, it hurts." I feel something damp on my shoulder but take no notice as one of her arms moves up slightly, her hand coming into gentle contact with my forehead brushing some of the hair out of my face.
"I know dorogaya, I know. We can do it together though, just in and out." I hum with a small nod, closing my eyes as Wanda's hand on my forehead moves to weave through my hair. "You're being so brave and so strong, you just gotta breathe with me. In and out."
I concentrate on feeling and listening to Wanda's breathing trying my best to match it, the burning in my lungs making it difficult but not impossible. My mind is still hazy, but the noise that was once is no longer as Wanda starts whispering sweet nothings and reassurances in my ear. Her hand continues to weave through my hair, her other one still holding my hands genlty now coming to the realisation she acted as a human straight jacket to stop me from hurting myself further.
I shift in her hold slightly, turning my body towards her more, resting my head in the crook of her neck. As I continue to copy her breathing I get wafts of the strawberry scent that I love so much, and one that helps clear the last of the haze.
"I got you."
That's enough for me to break down in her arms, allowing myself to cry and the tears to flow, turning myself so I am sitting sideways on her lap with my hands grabbing at her shirt. Her hand in my hair moves down my back, starting to rub it gently up and down, her other hand rubs up and down my arm. She doesn't say anything, she doesn't need to at this point, simply kissing along my forehead softly.
"I'm right here I got you." I twist my body more so I am facing Wanda now, my front pressed against hers, wrapping my arms around her neck as I move my legs either side of hers keeping my head pressed to her neck.
Wanda's arms wrap around my waist, pulling me closer to her, as her hand rubs up and down my back soothingly her lips now pressing kisses to the side of my head. My body shakes a little as my crying slowly stops and turns into gentle sniffles and hiccups, continuing to mimic Wanda's breathing which has stayed consistent throughout this whole thing. It's not until I hear a sniffle that isn't mine do I remove my head from her neck, to look at the woman I love.
She's crying.
Or at least was.
I look to my shoulder seeing the damp patch, realising in the moment that it's from her tears, before looking back at her. She has the softest most loving smile on her face, her hand moving to put some hair behind my ear that had fallen. The hand slowly slides to cup my jaw, her thumb caressing as much of the side of my face as it can reach, her beautiful green eyes looking into mine.
"Hi baby." My bottom lip quivers at how soft her voice sounds. "You're okay. You did so well, I'm so proud of you. So proud. You're so brave and strong. I love you."
"I love you too." I mumble out, the exhaustion from the panic attack hitting me like a tonne of bricks and I feel my eyes getting heavier, which Wanda must see.
"Let's get you back to bed." I whine when she tries to shuffle herself out from our position and she doesn't seem to question it as she stills her movements to look at me.
"What about girls' night?"
"We can do it another night. It's been a lot tonight, so let's get you to bed so you can rest and see how you feel tomorrow." I shake my head, pouting, Wanda's brows furrowing at my silent response. "Baby I'm not going to force you to go out when you are tired. We are staying home tonight."
"What about the others? They were looking forward to going." I look down to my hand playing with a loose thread on the bottom of Wanda's shirt.
"We can all go another time. And anyway Natasha has taken Yelena somewhere to have a word with her. The other three are cozied up on the couch watching a movie."
"Can we do that instead?" Wanda looks over my shoulder, I'm assuming to the girls and I feel her mouthing something but my eyes are glued to the loose thread so I don't really take notice too much.
"You want to have a movie night with us instead." I smile nodding my head quickly at the idea.
"Please."
"Okay, why don't we go and wash your face so you don't have dry tears sticking to it and then we can cuddle under a blanket together. How does that sound?"
"Will there be popcorn? Oh and Ice cream." I look up to Wanda with my best puppy dog eyes and I watch as she practically melts under me.
"I can see what magic I can work." She boops my nose, causing me to giggle and her nose scrunches with the smile that grows on her face. "Okay but we need to get off this floor first, I can't feel my legs."
"One last thing first." I whisper Moving my hand to cup Wanda's cheek, my eyes flicking left to right to look in hers.
"What?" Her voice is barely a whisper itself and I feel a small smile creep onto my face.
"A kiss. Right here." I tap my lip, Wanda rolling her eyes but easily giving in as she tilts her head to give me a soft kiss.
"I. Love. You. So. Fucking. Much. And. I'm. So. Proud. Of. You." She plants a kiss on my face between each word until moving back to kiss my lips a final time. "Now up its movie time."
As I go to stand a pair of hands slide under my arms helping me up, hearing Wanda groan slightly as the inevitable pins and needles shoot through her legs. I look over to my shoulder to see Kate with a look of concentration, her lip between her teeth as her hands slowly move from under my arms to my back then onto my sides as I wobble slightly.
"Wanda why don't you get everything set up for you two on the other couch and I will help Y/n get cleaned up."
"Thank you Kate." Kate lets go of me for just a second, my hands landing on the chair in front to support more, as she helps Wanda to get herself standing.
"Come on, let's get you freshened up." Kate's hands land back on my sides as she gently helps me guide us both to the ensuite in Wanda's room. "It's a nice place you two have."
"It's technically Wanda's." I rest my hands on the edge of the sink holding myself up as Kate turns around grabbing a washcloth from the bath, wetting it under warm water.
"I technically remember her saying it became and I quote 'ours at some point'." Kate taps my back gently. "Turn around for me."
Doing as asked I slowly turn around, eyes dropping to the floor to avoid looking at Kate which she doesn't seem to question instead she simply starts using the wash cloth to wipe at my face. We allow a silence to fall over us as Kate takes care not to hurt me as she cleans my face up, the horrible feeling of dried tears on my cheeks being removed along with the last of my frustration.
"You haven't had a panic attack like that in a while." I look to Kate who continues to concentrate on washing my face and neck, the gesture truly appreciated.
"It was definitely unexpected."
"They always are." Kate takes a corner of the wash cloth gently running it just under my eyes. "You need to phone your therapist."
"At some point." Kate finally looks at me as she drops the washcloth in the sink.
"I'm serious. Phone her tomorrow and tell her what happened. You haven't had an attack like that in a long time and you need to talk about it. So you will phone her tomorrow to make an appointment."
"I have an appointment Monday." Kate huffs a little at my answer.
"Then you phone her and let her know what's happened so that you can talk about it in your session."
"Sure I will phone her." I shrug, turning around to look in the mirror, making sure the last reminisce of the panic attack is gone.
"I'm serious Y/n. It's important you talk to her about this." I nod my head, a small sigh passing my lips.
"I will Kate."
"Promise me." I bite my lip looking at Kate in the mirror.
"I promise." Kate gives me a small nod and smile.
"Good, now let's head back. I'm sure the girls are waiting for us." As Kate goes to leave I quickly grab her hand pulling her so she is looking at me as I turn around to face her.
"Did you hit Yelena?" I see the guilt in Kate's eyes and it's enough of an answer. "Kate."
"I know, I know. I'm sorry. Violence is never the answer, I know. I just, I don't know what happened. One minute I was ready to jump in and shout at her, the next I was smacking her. I know it was dumb and stupid, and I'm sorry. God, I'm stupid."
"You're right violence is never the answer." Kate looks up at me biting her lip.
"I'm sorry you had to witness that. It definitely won't happen again."
"I trust you Kate." Her eyes look into mine and I can see a small internal battle as her features scrunch together slightly.
"But?"
"But nothing I guess. I trust you. Do I like what you did? No, I really don't. But i trust you with my life so I know it's not something that's happened before."
"And it will never happen again." Kate is quick to rush out the reassurance and I smile at the fact.
"I trust you." She nods her head slowly as I make my way to the door. "Now are you going to stand there all night or are you going to join us for movie night?"
"Movie night." Kate chuckles as I open the door letting her back into the bedroom first.
"Good because it would seem pretty stupid to stay in there all night." Kate flips me off with a sarcastic laugh.
"Har har. Anyway, I have seen a very red fluffy blanket ready to be snuggled under. So. the first one there gets the blanket!" She runs to the bedroom door and I'm quick to follow knowing exactly what blanket she is on about, both of us barging through the door knocking into each other and as I get one step ahead I shout behind me.
"Last one there has to do the others laundry for a month!"
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Word count: 6788
Any mistakes please continue to blame Covid.