Chapter 55:
Good Father
Year 2018.
HINDI na alam ni Blair kung ano nang gagawin ngayon. Now that Ninong Aalto turned his back and probably wouldn't return for good, all was left to look out for Bridgette was her.
Ilang beses na siyang natutukso na kunin ang telepono at tawagan si Tita Bella. She wanted to call her and tell her to come back here in Greece, but in the first place, it was never Tita Bella's responsibility to take care of Bridgette.
Blair suddenly found herself stuck with the person she hated the most. Suddenly, she's in the hospital talking to doctors about Bridgette's health and mental condition. Pagka-alis ni Ninong Aalto ay nawalan ng malay ang kanyang ina habang umiiyak nang umiiyak.
"She's currently stable and needs a lot of rest from stress. As we are saying, it's better if she'll continue her chemotherapies to extinguish the remaining active cancer cells in her body. Your mother needs additional expert advice for her Alzheimer's disease, too. And we recommend our partner hospital in New York as doctors and facilities in there will be able to tend more to your mother's needs."
Tumatango lang si Blair sa lahat ng payo ng doktor. Buti at marunong itong mag-Ingles dahil kanina ay nalilito siya sa mga kumakausap sa kanyang nurses. All were speaking in Greek, and she wasn't able to respond properly because she cannot understand a damn thing.
"I will request to transfer your mother in New York as soon as possible for her treatments. I was also notified that your mother's trusted doctors were also there. It's best if she'd be treated in the US. If you don't have any place to stay, the organization offers room rents in cheaper prices."
"We have a place to stay in New York. But is the transfer should be this immediate? I think my mother prefers living here in Greece..."
"She can go back once she's well enough. Today, our priority is her health and mental condition that seeks more professional attention. We believe your mother would understand that as well."
Well, hindi kilala ng mga ito si Bridgette. Blair prepared herself. Makikipagsagupaan na naman siya sa katigasan ng ulo ng nanay niya.
"I don't want to leave! I'll stay here in Athens. Hindi ko gustong magpagamot! Hayaan niyo na lang akong mamatay!" nagsisigaw si Bridgette pagkatapos niyang ipaalam dito ang payo ng doktor.
Naikot niya ang mga mata at napahalukipkip. Sinasabi niya na nga't ganito ang magiging reaksyon nito.
"Iniwan na 'ko ni Aalto. Iwan mo na lang din ako! Leave me in my house and if I die, I die!"
Sana kung ganoon lang kadali. Sana kung kaya ni Blair na pabayaan lang ito katulad dati. Damn it! Living with Jack for many years made her this soft, again.
"Babalik ka rito sa Greece oras na gumaling ka na. Sa ngayon, kailangan mo nang magpagamot sa New York dahil mas advance ang mga facilities doon. Nandoon din ang mga doktor mong mas kabisado ang dapat gawin sa 'yo."
"No!" matigas pa rin nitong pagtanggi. "I refused to get treated, Christeena Blair. I want to die. Ayoko nang maging pabigat pa sa 'yo. Umuwi ka na lang sa asawa mo at ako nang bahala sa sarili ko."
Nakipaglaban siya ng titig sa ina. "Pagkatapos mong umamin, magsisi, at humingi ng tawad sa lahat ng nangyari noon, ito na ang plano mo? Ang mamatay na lang?"
"Shouldn't that be, hija? Ano pang rason para ipagpatuloy ang buhay? I'm an old sick woman with my dark secrets out, Blair. Totoong nagsisisi ako sa lahat. I apologized for everything because I should have done that long ago. But why should I keep going? Should I keep fighting for a life that I'm already tired of living alone?" Nangilid ang luha sa mga mata nitong halata ngang pagod na pagod na sa buhay na 'to.
"Why can't I just succumbed in my illness and rest in eternal peace? Bakit ka pa magsasayang ng pera para ipagamot ako?"
Humugot ng malalim na hininga si Blair. Her heart wrenched as her mind instantly shouted the answer inside her head.
Nakuyom niya ang mga kamay. "Do you... really think I can just watch you die?" Kahit ilang beses niyang sinabi noon na hayaan na lang ito, na mas magandang mawala na lang ito—tama pa rin si Jack sa sinabi nito. Blair knows she doesn't really want that.
"Noong sinubukan mong magpakamatay noong panahong sobrang laki pa ng hinanakit ko sa 'yo, pinabayaan lang ba kita nang masaksihan ko iyon? I even called for help, Mama... I was so scared."
Napakurap ito at biglang umamo ang buong mukha. "Blair..."
"Because this anger, this hatred... The way I ignored you for many years... It's the love I have for you that I don't know how to get rid-off, Mama."
Kinagat niya ang ibabang labi upang mapigilan ang hikbing gustong kumawala sa lalamunan niya. She swallowed her emotions.
"Sinusumpa ko kayo ni Papa at pilit kung sinisira noon, dahil hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko para lang malabanan 'tong pag-ibig kong natitira pa rin para sa inyo," Blair slowly admitted what she's been dwelling since she was sixteen. "I tried everything, even destroying my own life in the hopes I can destroy this love I have for you and Papa."
But she didn't succeed. She just wasted years of her life just to find out, her love for her parents was still there. She was devastated when Santino died. Now, she can't just leave Bridgette die while there's a higher chance for her to live.
"Ang sakit-sakit mahalin ni Papa. Tapos ikaw, Mama... Ang hirap-hirap mong mahalin. Pero hindi ko alam... nandito pa rin ako ngayon. Gusto ko nang umalis pero... paano ka na?"
Tumalikod si Blair nang hindi niya na kayang pigilan ang biglang pagpatak ng luha. Lumabas siya ng kuwarto at sinara ang pinto. Pinalis niya ang mga luha at huminga nang malalim. Ilang beses niyang ginawa iyon hanggang sa makauwi siya ng sariling property.
Pababayaan niya munang uminahon at mag-isip ng matino ang Mama niya. Kung ayaw pa rin nitong magpagamot... hindi niya alam. She can't think of the next plan. Aalis na lang siya at pabayaan na lang talaga si Bridgette?
Tuloy-tuloy siya sa pagpasok ng bahay. Hindi niya na napansing hindi naka-lock iyon at may malaking maleta sa receiving area.
Wala sa sariling umakyat siya ng kuwarto at binagsak niya ang sarili sa kama. Humugot ulit siya ng malalim na hininga. But when she exhaled, more tears fell from her eyes. Hanggang sa napahagulgol na lang siya ng iyak. Namaluktot siya at niyakap niya ang sarili.
"Babe..."
Natigilan siya at biglang napabangon. She saw Jacquin standing outside her bedroom. Lalo siyang napaiyak. Naramdaman niya ang pagyakap nito sa kanya. She's so down, Blair didn't have the energy to ask why he followed her in Greece.
"I-I can't stop crying..." aniya nang hindi pa rin siya makatahan.
Awang-awa siya sa kaisipan na maiiwan na lang mag-isa dito ang Mama niya, walang makakasama... Hanggang sa makalimutan na naman nito kung saan nailagay ang wallet nito. Hanggang sa baka dumami na naman ang active cancer cells nito dahil hindi ito nagpapagamot, at hanggang sa isang araw, makikita na lang itong patay sa tinutuluyan nitong bahay.
May tumarak sa puso niya. She imagined how painful it would be to wait for your death... alone. To die... all alone.
Walang kasama. Walang kakampi...
Blair wept loudly. She can't believe she's crying for Bridgette's life.
Mas humigpit ang pagyakap sa kanya ni Jack. Pilit siyang inaalo nito sa lahat ng paraan. But Blair kept crying like a child. She couldn't voice out that once, she also thought she'll die the way Bridgette wants to...
Kapag iniwan niya ng tuluyan ang ina... makakaya niya ba?
"B-B-Bakit g-ganito...? W-Why c-can't I j-j-just return to being e-e-emotionless?" hirap na hirap niyang sabi habang humihikbi at namamaga na ang mga mata sa kakaiyak. Subalit patuloy pa rin ang pag-agos ng mga luha.
Why do we still care? Why do we still love?
Jack gently cupped her face. He didn't say anything but slowly, his lips kissed some of his tears away. He kissed her wet cheeks, swollen eyes, and trembling lips. Pinaulit-ulit nito iyon hanggang sa mas tumagal na ang paghalik nito sa kanyang mga labi.
Tumagal, lumalim, dumiin...
Uminit at lumambing.
Blair stopped crying. And one thing led to another. Her sobs became a series of moans. She's catching her breath for a different kind of action. Her tears were dried as she was wet somewhere else...
Jack did it again. To take her far away and lead her to a different dimension... He was always good at that since they were younger... To console her and to make her feel beautiful after the ugly crying.
Naalimpungatan si Blair nang maramdamang inaayos ni Jack ang kumot sa mga hubad nilang katawan. She opened her sleepy eyes and looked up at him.
"Why are you... here?" she remembered to ask, whispering.
He sighed and let her head rest in his bare chest. "I missed you, babe. You didn't reply to my chats... I was worried. Tita Bella gave me permission to leave work and follow you here."
Her fingers gently traced his jaw down to his neck. "I'm not going home..."
Pumikit ito at hinalikan siya sa noo. "I'm not asking you to."
Ibinaba niya na ang kamay at saka mas isiniksik ang sarili rito. She missed him, too. And also, their lovemaking. It's been a while since she made love with Jack without the pressure to conceive a child.
Nakatulog si Blair at nagising na lang dahil sa tawag mula sa ospital. Handa na raw ang lahat ng kailangan para mailipat sa New York ang kanyang ina. Pagkatapos makipag-usap sa telepono ay bumangon siya at naligo. She was prepared to go back to the hospital, but Jack reminded her to take a meal first. Nagluto pala ito.
Bigla siyang nagutom nang makita ang pagkain. At saka niya naalalang hindi pa siya kumakain sa buong araw na iyon.
"Mama's still a pain in the ass," nasambit niya habang kumakain. Tumabi sa kanya si Jack at pinagsalin siya ng juice sa baso.
"Ayaw magpagamot. Ayaw lumipat ng New York. Hayaan na lang daw siyang mamatay mag-isa rito," she ranted as Jack's whole body and attention were all hers. Nakaupo ito nang patagilid sa upuan, paharap sa kanya habang ang isang kamay ay nasa ibabaw ng sandalan niya. Ang isa pa'y dagdag nang dagdag ng pagkain sa plato niya.
"Sana kung mamatay siya kaagad! Paano kung ilang years pa? At lalala pa lalo ang Alzheimer's niya? She will forget where's her money, again. She won't be able to buy food. Do you know how she survived when she lost her cards? Kung anong natitira sa cash niya, pinagkasya niya for a year! She let herself starve sometimes... Namatay ba siya? Hindi, 'di ba? Naghirap lang siya sa gutom."
Blair's still ranting until she finished her food and Jack accompanied her going back to the hospital. Tahimik lang ito at tumatango-tango sa lahat ng sinasabi niya. Tumigil lang si Blair sa pagsasalita nang nasa harap na ulit siya ng pinto ng kuwarto ng Mama niya.
Pagbukas niya niyon ay nagsalubong agad ang mga mata nila ng Mama niya. Pagkuwa'y napatingin ito sa likod niya.
"Good evening... Mama," magalang na bati ni Jack dito.
Bahagyang ngumiti si Bridgette. "Good evening, hijo. I'm glad to see you, again."
"What's your decision?" agad na tanong niya sa ina.
Napayuko ito. "I'll go to New York to treat my cancer and Alzheimer's..." mahinang sabi nito.
Suddenly, Blair felt relief. May parang nakadagan sa dibdib niya ang naalis. "Good. I'll arrange a medical flight for you. For now, I'll take you home and you start to pack your things."
Maamong tumango si Bridgette. Sinubukan na nitong tumayo na agad namang inalalayan ni Jack. Tinalikuran ni Blair ang mga ito at lumabas siya ng kuwarto para kausapin ang doktor for additional instructions. She also paid the hospital bills, after.
The day after tomorrow, their riding a private plane from Athens, Greece going to New York, USA. Hindi iniimik ni Blair ang kahit sino. Napansin din siguro ni Jack na wala pa rin siya sa timpla. Kaya't naririnig-rinig niyang nakipag-usap na lang ito sa Mama niya.
"I guess you're not going home anytime soon," Jack said two days after they arrived in New York. Nasa ospital sila ngayon kung saan nagpapa-radiotherapy ngayon si Bridgette. They are on a private room waiting for the therapy to finish.
From her mother's doctors' evaluation since they arrive, iyon na lang ang kailangan para mapuksa na ng tuluyan ang natitirang cancer cells nito sa katawan.
As for her mother's Alzheimer's, Bridgette has an upcoming appointment with a neurologist and a psychiatrist by next week. It can't be cured but there are treatments to slow its progression.
"You'll stay, right? For your mother..." Parang hirap si Jack sabihin ang mga iyon.
"She does not want to go back to the Philippines. Ayoko na rin siyang pabalikin doon. Our relatives are never good for us. Ayoko nang may makisawsaw pa rito at pasamain lang ang mga loob namin ni Mama."
Nakakaintinding tumango si Jack. "I'll ask Tita Bella if it's possible that I can still work for DS Corp. while I'm here in the US with you. If not, I'll resign and—"
Napalingon siya rito. "No, Jacquin. You don't have to compromise your career for me, again. I'll stay here until Mama gets better. Uuwi rin naman ako kaya hindi mo kailangang samahan ako rito. I'll take care of my mother alone."
Napakunot-noo ito. "Do you really believe I can be away with you for too long? Na magkakasya ako with chats and calls?"
Napalunok siya. "Akala ko ba kaya mong wala ako, as long as you have your Jesus?"
Hindi ito kumibo at hindi nagpakita ng kahit anong reaksyon.
Alam ni Blair na mali ang sinabi niya. But she just want to make a point.
"Doon ka sa Pilipinas, Jack. Dito lang ako. I want to... find and see if it's really your faith that can only heal me. What if there's another way and I can find it here? What if it's not just God? Or Jesus Christ? Many people aren't Christians and believers, Jack, and they're doing well. So maybe..."
"What if you get pregnant?" putol nito sa kanya. "Do you expect me to wait in the Philippines while you are here carrying our baby alone with an old mother to take care of?"
Nagsalubong ang mga kilay niya. "Paano naman akong mabubuntis sa isang beses na nangyari sa 'tin sa Greece, just because you want to console me? Come on, Jacquin. Hindi nga ako mabuntis-buntis kahit araw-araw nating gawin iyon noon sa Pilipinas. Paano pa 'yung isang beses lang para tumahan ako?"
Jack's eyebrows crossed, too but he remained calm in speaking. "I don't make love to you for consolation. I never did that. And I was asking a big possibility because what if you did get pregnant? Babalik ka na naman ba sa walang planong buhay, Blair?"
Tumayo siya at lumayo rito. "I told you, I'm soul searching! Kung mabuntis ako, araw-araw naman kitang i-a-update. I'll also get nurses for Mama. I have all the capacity and money for that, Jack. So, while I'm here, you continue your life. You continue praising your God and pray hard... Pray so hard na kahit saan man ako maghanap o mapunta, babalik at babalik pa rin ako sa Diyos na pinaniniwalaan mo. You told me He's a good father, right? That He would always pursue me, His child, you said? Sige, patunayan Niya."
Nagmartsa siya sa pinto nang hindi sumagot si Jack. Pero nahinto siya sa pagbukas niyon nang maramdaman niya itong nasa likod niya na agad.
"Ang sakit-sakit na, Blair. Ang hirap-hirap mong mahalin," bulong nito, malungkot at nanghihina. "Pagod na pagod na 'ko."
Napatulala siya at hindi agad nakagalaw. That was the first and last time Jasiel Jacquin Valleroso vocally complained.
Si Jack ang nagbukas ng pinto at lumabas. Habang pinapanood niya ang likod nito na palayo nang palayo, naaalala niya ang lahat nang pagkakataong siya ang nagsabi ng mga katagang iyon sa sariling mga magulang na minahal niya nang lubos, ngunit sinaktan lang siya ng labis.
Jack went back to the Philippines the next day. A month after, Blair found out that finally, she got pregnant.
***
BLAIR immediately called Jack to tell him that she's pregnant.
"What's your plan?" tanong agad nito. "Diyan ka ba magbubuntis?" malumanay na tanong nito.
Napatingin si Blair sa inang natutulog. Halata ang pagod mula sa radiotheraphy. Huling tatlong sessions na lang iyon. Once she was declared cancer-free, mag-uumpisa naman ang treatments for Alzheimer's.
Napalunok siya. "I... can't leave Mama."
"Okay..." He said. "How's your soul-searching going?"
Napalabi siya. "I'm sorry for mocking your faith last time again. I was wrong and... I honestly thanked God when I found out I was pregnant. Akala ko, magiging kontento na 'ko at mas mabilis na 'ko maniniwala. But still... I'm not entirely convinced."
Blair was just being honest with herself. Hindi naman porket nabuntis na siya ay maniniwala na siyang agad. It wasn't the last sign she was waiting for. Having a baby is what she believed she deserves.
"I'll try to seek on my own. At least, now, I'm somehow back to praying. Sometimes, I go to church."
"Okay," Jack gently said, again. "Do you want me to go there and take care of you?"
"I think I can manage... You can visit me if you're not busy with work. My due date is on July 2019, according to my OB."
"Okay, then." Wala pa ring pag-apela sa tinig nito.
Blair's heart hurt a little bit. Parang tunog sumuko na ito. Wala nang pakialam. Yet, she can't complain because she was the one who didn't want to go home.
Nagpatuloy lang na ganoon sila ni Jack sa ilang buwan. Sometimes, she forgot to update him when she's too busy taking care of Bridgette. Nauubos ang pasensya at lakas niya sa nanay niya, pero hindi niya alam kung bakit nananatili pa rin siya.
Until one day, she woke up with her six-month old belly. Hinahaplos at niyayakap niya nang paulit-ulit ang malaking tiyan. Kinakausap niya na rin ang anak. It's going to be a boy. And it's kind of heartwarming to know that whatever happens in the future, she'll have someone to be always by her side.
"Blair? Blair...?"
Napabangon siya nang marinig ang tawag ng ina. Sinapo niya ang tiyan at naglakad siya papunta sa kuwarto nito.
"Do you need anything?" she asked her mother. She's already cancer-free but now battling with Alzheimer's.
Napatingin ito sa kanya na parang hindi siya kilala. "Sino ka? Nasaan ang anak ko?"
Napakurap si Blair. Alam niyang makakalimutin na ito pero hindi pa naman kasama roon ang makalimutan siya. "Ma, I'm Blair..."
Napasinghap ito at nanlaki ang mga mata. "No, you're not! Nasaan si Blair?!" biglang sigaw nito. Nagwala.
Blair tried to call the stay-in nurse when her mother tried to push her. Napahawak siya sa tiyan.
"Nasaan si Blair?! Bakit nagpapanggap kang siya? Ilabas mo ang anak ko!" patuloy na pagwawala ni Bridgette, sinimulan na siyang hampas-hampasin.
Blair called the nurse, again—shouting already. Sinubukan niyang hulihin ang mga kamay ng inang humahampas sa kanya pero nawalan siya ng balanse. Blair screamed when she fell on the floor, butt first. Napahawak siya sa tiyan.
"Nasaan si Blair?! Ilabas mo ang anak ko. Huwag niyo siyang itago! Itinatago niyo siya ni Ysabella!"
"Mama... S-Stop, please..." May paghilab siyang naramdaman sa tiyan. Napapikit siya. "Ma, I'm B-Blair..." Nahihirapan niyang sabi. Napayuko siya sa gitna ng mga hita nang tila may umagos doon na kung ano.
Dugo!
Her head span at the sight of blood. Nagwawala pa rin si Bridgette at hinahanap siyang pilit.
Nanlabo ang kanyang mga paningin. May narinig siyang pagbukas ng pinto at tunog ng mga paang nagmamadali ang pag-akyat sa hagdan.
"Blair!"
She's not familiar with the arms that carried her when she started to cry in pain. 'Yung baby niya...
"Blair, anak, please hold on tight. Calm down, everything's going to be alright."
It's a voice of a man... of a father.
"M-My baby..." Hindi niya na alam kung anong nangyayari sa paligid. Wala na siyang malinaw na nakikita.
Humaplos ang mainit na kamay sa kanyang mukha. "It's alright, nothing bad's going to happen..."
"Papa..." Bigla na lang niyang natawag kay Santino. "Papa..." The pain in her stomach was numbing. Oh, no. Please, she does not want to lose her baby. "Papa!" iyak niya na. "Papa, please help me... Save me and my baby..."
Niyakap ulit siya ng kanina pa umaasikaso sa kanya. She suddenly felt like a child being secured by her father. Those arms unfamiliar but warm, strong, and gentle.
Tila mga yakap sa kanya ni Santino... Iyong huling-huling naranasan niya bago namatay ang Papa niya...
Nang magkamalay ulit si Blair, wala nang masakit. Napahaplos siya sa tiyan at nandoon pa rin ang baby! She sighed in relief.
"Is she your daughter, Sir?"
"She's my daughter-in-law. But, yes. Blair's my daughter. Is her vitals stable? Not in any dangerous situation with my grandchild?"
Napakurap-kurap si Blair at pilit sumilip sa kurtinang nakaharang sa kanya at sa mga taong naririnig. Now that her head's clear, the voice of the man who helped her was very familiar.
Kaya pala parang pakiramdam niya ay parang Papa niya ang kasama kanina. It was Jack's father, Daddy Josias.
"Dad..." Blair acknowledged when her father-in-law checked her behind the curtains.
"How are you feeling, hija?" Lumapit ito at marahang hinaplos ang buhok niya.
"I feel better..." Although she's a little bit confused about his sudden appearance.
"Praise God, you're alright." Like Jack, his father is gentle and kind when speaking. "Eksakto pala ang pagbisita ko. If you're worried about your mother, she's calmed down and resting, her nurse said."
Napapikit siya. "Hindi niya 'ko matandaan, Daddy. Kaya siguro nagwawala kanina..." Nakagat niya ang ibabang labi. "I'm sorry about that po. Ngayon ka lang bumisita pero... ito pa po ang naabutan niyo."
"Don't worry. I guess I needed to be there. Katatapos ko lang bisitahin ang mga dati kong pasyente bago ako mag-retire. Then, JJ told me that you live nearby so I paid a visit. I don't believe in coincidence, so I'm supposed to be there for you and the baby... To keep you both safe."
"Thank you so much, Dad." Blair held back her tears and smiled sweetly.
Ngumiti rin ito. "Thank God. He loves you so much, Blair. I'm blessed to be used by Him so I can help you and my grandchild. Matagal-tagal na rin akong hindi nakakapagbuhat ng anak. My body even complained when I carried my 20 kilos of luggage. But when I carried you with no sweat until here, now, that's a miracle from heaven!"
She chuckled. "Dad, you know it's adrenaline rush. You're a doctor..."
Mas napangiti ito. "Adrenaline and strength from our good God, then."
She sighed and nodded. "Thank you talaga, Daddy. Alam ko pong baka nagtatampo o nagagalit na kayo ulit sa 'kin dahil umalis na naman ako at naiwan si Jack sa Pilipinas. Pero tinulungan niyo pa rin po ako ngayon."
She's not that close to her in-laws but throughout the years, Jack's parents has been kind to her. Parang nangapa lang noong una kaya hindi siya masyado kinakausap. Ngunit nang tumagal na, lagi namang magiliw sa kanya kapag bumibisita sila ni Jack.
"Your Mommy Wana and I never got angry with you, hija. Maybe, a bit disappointed. But never mad," paliwanag nito. Tinulungan siya nitong makatayo na mula sa kama.
"I'm sorry po..."
"You're forgiven." Marahan nitong tinapik ang balikat niya. "Lalo na at binilin ka sa 'kin ni Santino. Hindi puwedeng pabayaan lang kita. Hindi ko rin naman kaya iyon. At isa pa, anak na rin ang turing ko sa 'yo mula nang pakasalan ka ni Jacquin."
She blinked, twice. "B-Binilin po ako ni Papa... sa inyo?"
"Oh? Didn't I mention it before?"
"You never did, Dad..."
"I'm so sorry. Ang daming nangyayari noon kaya't siguro nakalimutan ko na." Napakamot ito sa ulo at nahihiyang ngumiti.
She chuckled as Daddy Josias would someday be Jack's old version. Cute.
"Your father told me to be more patient with you and treat you as my own. Noon, alam niya ang kumakalat na balita tungkol sana sa arranged marriage niyo ni Jacquin. At kahit wala pang nakakaalam kung tatanggapin mo iyon o tatanggihan, ibinilin ka na sa 'kin ni Santino.
"He admitted he has a lot of shortcomings as a father to you. And he believed I'm going to be a good father to you once you married in the family. Kaya sana raw, maibigay ko sa 'yo ang hindi niya naibigay. You may be tough to love, but you're a very sweet daughter."
Napapikit si Blair at hindi na napigilan ang maluha. After all these years, hearing Santino's name and all he said about her before he died would always hit home.
"I never questioned my son's undying love for you. Not just because of his faith, but because I saw what Jacquin and Santino was trying to tell me." Pinalis ng biyenan ang kanyang luha. "It requires a lot of patience to love and understand people who were deeply wounded. It needs a different kind of strength and endurance to soothe people who still reacts from years of pain.
"Kung siguro, mahaba pa ang buhay ng Papa mo, magtitiyaga siya hanggang sa makita niya ulit 'yong totoong Blair na kilala niya. And I think my son knows the real you, too. Sweet and loving... We believe you're still there somewhere beyond the scars of the past.
"Matagal na rin naming napagtanto na iba ka sa lahat, Blair. You're a wanderer. You go from place to place, not just to run away but because it's part of who you are. You grow wherever you go." He gave her a proud fatherly smile.
Napayakap siya rito nang mahigpit. She cried like a child. She grew up not having an encouraging father, so having one right now melts her whole being.
Her father-in-law embraced her warmly.
"And wherever you go, remember God's with you, anak. The tragedies of the past may trick you into believing He forgot about you. Your darkest sin may give you a lie that He hates you for that. But there's always going to be one truth we can never deny...
"No matter where we try to go to escape from him, God's love pursues. His hand would lovingly hold ours."
"We might resist him, but His love would keep on fighting until we wholeheartedly decide to come and rest in Him. God's a good father, anak. He gave us his son. And Jesus will never stop until we finally see Him in the darkness we caged ourselves in..."
***
Year 2023.
"Kaya alam mo, Mama, no matter where we look, it's only Christ who can satisfy our soul." Hinaplos-haplos niya ang buhok ng ina habang nakahiga ito at nakatulala lang.
"Alam na alam ng Diyos Ama ang kailangan natin para malagpasan ang buhay dito sa mundo. We would always want someone to save us, to forgive us, to tell us we can start over again after every failure.
"Tapos, Mama, siyempre alam din ni God na dahil nga likas tayong makasalanan, hindi tayo makakapunta ng heaven para makasama Siya. But He loves us so much, He does not want to eternally be apart from us. Kaya, ayan na, Mama... Like a good father, he provided. Pinadala niya na si Jesus. Because once we accept Christ as our Lord and Savior, once we believed He already washed out all our past, present, and future sins, we are already saved. We're going to heaven na, the home where we truly belong."
Kumurap ang Mama niya pero hindi umimik. Tumingin ito sa kanya. Nginitian niya ito ng matamis.
"Ganoon lang kadali? Are you thinking of that, Mama? But of course when we truly accept Him, makikita dapat iyon sa pamumuhay natin, Mama. This is where the myth of doing good works will take us to heaven breaks. Kasi kahit anong good points ang maipon natin dito sa mundo, pero hindi tayo naniniwala na si Jesus lang ang magliligtas sa 'tin, it won't guarantee us a spot in heaven. Most of us thought that we must do good to earn a ticket to heaven, Mama.
"But we do good because we already have the ticket to heaven. We live a life of thankfulness na, Mama. Akalain mo 'yun, sigurado na ang pagpunta natin sa langit because of surrendering to Jesus? And we do good here on earth and be good to people so they can see that Christ is real. At maniniwala rin sila, tapos sama-sama tayo sa heaven!
"Jesus is the only ticket given by our good Father God, so we can be with him after this life, Mama. You claim the ticket na, ha!"
Kumurap-kurap ito. "Hija, why are you telling me this every day? And why are you calling me 'Mama'? I only have one daughter..."
Ngumiti pa rin siya kahit nakaramdam ng bahagyang kirot sa dibdib. Ang tagal-tagal na nang huli siyang naalala ng Mama niya bilang si Blair.
"Because you're my 'Mama'." Hinalikan niya ito sa pisngi. "Do you accept Christ in your life na, Mama?"
"You sound like Ysabella... Do you know her?"
Tumango siya at mas napangiti. "She's in heaven now, Mama. Kaya tanggapin mo na si Jesus para magkita kayo ro'n, someday."
Kumunot ang noo nito. "What do you mean by that?" Napabangon ito bigla. "Is she dead?!"
Napaatras si Blair mula sa pagkakaupo sa gilid ng kama. "Sadly, yes..."
"Sinungaling ka! You're making up stories!" Biglang sigaw nito at hinampas siya sa braso ng malakas. "Kung ano-anong sinasabi mo! Who are you anyway? Why are you not calling my daughter until now? I want to see Blair!"
"Mama—"
Tinulak siya nito kaya't napatayo si Blair at lumayo rito.
"You're not my daughter! You're not my daughter!"
Napalunok si Blair at tinawag ang mga stay-in helpers na kasama nila. Ngunit bago pa mapigilan ng mga ito ang Mama niya ay bigla na lang siyang tinulak muli nito nang malakas.
Nawalan ng balanse si Blair at bumagsak nang patagilid sa sahig. Napahawak siya sa apat na buwang tiyan nang kumirot iyon.
"Miss Blair!" Agad siyang dinaluhan ng isang katulong at inalalayang makatayo. Her mother was now being held and controlled by the other helper.
Nakalakad naman siya palabas ng kuwarto habang inaalalayan ng katulong. But she felt her tummy aching again and something gushed down her thighs.
Napasigaw siya sa sakit nang makakita ng dugo. Agad siyang pinaupo sa sofa at tumawag ng 911 ang katulong.
"Jesus, please..." she pleaded as she held her little tummy. Nawala na lang siya ng ulirat sa sobrang kirot.
Pagkadilat niya ay naamoy niya ang pamilyar na amoy ng ospital.
"Mommy?"
Napakurap-kurap siya nang marinig ang pamilyar na maliit na boses. Nanlalabo pa ang mga paningin niya.
"Mommy, are you awake? It's okay, Mommy! I heard the doctor said to Daddy that you're safe. And baby sister is strong!"
Pumikit siya nang mariin. Is that her son Santino? Why is he here? O siya na ba ang nasa Pilipinas, bigla? What's—
"Mommy? Mommy? Daddy, Mommy's awake! Daddy!!!"
Napaungol siya. Sa pagdilat niya ulit ay luminaw na ang paningin niya. That's when she saw Jack appeared from the blue curtain while Santino was pulling his hand.
"Mommy!" masayang turo nito sa kanya. "Mommy!"
Napangiti siya. "Santino."
Agad na tumakbo sa tabi niya si Santino at umakyat ng upuan para makapatong sa kama. Kahit naguguluhan kung bakit ito nandoon, niyakap niya pa rin ito nang mahigpit.
"Miss mo 'ko, Mommy?"
"Yes! Miss kita."
"Always?" Dinikit nito ang pisngi sa pisngi niya.
"Always always." She suddenly felt emotional. She only saw her son via video call for months now. Iba pa rin kapag hawak at yakap niya ito.
Bumangon na siya at umupo para mas mayakap si Santino. Kumandong ito sa kanya at dinantay ang ulo sa kanyang dibdib. Niyapos niya ito nang mahigpit at hinalik-halikan ito sa noo. Santino giggled. "Mommy loves me."
"Yes, I do!"
Ang sarap-sarap namang mag-reward ni Lord after all the months that she's been enduring without her husband and son, and taking care of her mother non-stop.
"We planned to surprise you a visit," singit ni Jack. Napatingin siya rito. Nakatayo na ito sa gilid ng kama. "Ngayon lang lumuwag ang trabaho..."
"Thank you so much, babe. This is the most wonderful surprise." Hinawakan niya ang kamay nito.
She apologetically smiled. "Pero kayo ba ang na-surprise ko? Nagwawala kasi si Mama kanina. Hindi sinasadyang natumba ako nang matulak niya. But I'm okay now, right? Nag-spotting siguro ako. Okay naman ang baby..."
Huminga nang malalim si Jack. Binawi nito ang kamay. "Lagi mo 'kong tinatakot."
Lumabi siya at hinabol ang kamay nito. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry, babe. Hold me, please..."
Diretso siyang tinignan nito. "Uuwi ka na, Blair. Iuuwi na kita."
***
Chapter 56: The Finish Line - June 1, 2022
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