Gentle cracks, pops and hisses filled the calm, quiet atmosphere. Gentle eyes watching the flames dance with the small breeze that was passing by. The embers that managed to escape their burning prison made haste in dancing up towards the clear night sky. The stars shining brighter accompanied the moon in bringing a refreshing sight to the city eyes of those watching.
The moon seemed to light up the night sky like it had never before, the silhouettes of the forest danced along the ground everytime the wind picked up before settling back down. The snow on the peaks of the mountains glowed gloriously under the night light of the night sky.
In the distance maybe a wolf or two, heard calling out to one another. Their long, well-known but only ever a single howls. It sounded neither mournful or joyful but rather wild. It was of single tone, but once one wolf started their beautiful song others joined in. Each with their own distinct voice.
The wind whistled through the ears of those who had their eyes trained on the sky. For they were not looking at the moon or the stars, or the snow on the mountains or even the dark dancing shadows of the forest. No. They were looking up at the aurora borealis.
The way the green glowed through the sky above them dancing to its own tune as it creates mesmerising patterns and everlasting memories. Hints of blues, purples and reds intertwine with the bright green, an interpretive dance in the night sky that will always have the full attention of those below.
I watch from the doorframe of the front door as Wanda and the boys cuddle under a couple layers of blanket, all wrapped in hats, scarfs and woolly socks. Their eyes trained on the sky above them, as the boys lean their heads in Wanda's shoulder as she wraps her arms around them. Have I been staring at them instead of the sight above me. Yes, yes I have. But in my mind there is no more beautiful sight than what I see in front of me and not above me. Nothing can compare.
The night sky may be beautiful and mesmerising but the 3 people cuddling up on the large outdoor couch, well, I am enthralled with the sight. Hypnotised one might say, by their carefree smiles, their wonder filled eyes, their rosey cheeks and all the love they have for one another wrapped up in the blankets with them.
I mustn't let myself fall back into the haze of the relationship me and Wanda had, well still have but it's different now. We are going to work together to make it work and not get trapped within a bubble of our own creation. I will admit that looking at the sight of the three in front of me, I can see why I got lost in it so easily. It's everything I ever wanted, a woman, children, a family. But I can't rely on them for all my happiness and dreams, so for now I will take this moment and never forget it and maybe one day we can return as a family with a ring to show for it.
I smile at myself, when I realise I still see my future with the beautiful, goddess of a red-head that I met in a bar and her two very mature young boys. I can plan the future, if I see one and I'm so happy to be able to envision it all in just this moment.
I smile wider when Wanda turns her head to the right, an animated smile on her face as she waves me over. Already wearing my winter clothes, I walk on the cold ground that's already hardening with frost, crunching beneath my feet as I make my way over. The boys take a quick glance towards where the noise is coming from, smiling when they see me and not second later look back up to the sky. I move to stand behind the couch, my arms lazily resting over Wanda's shoulder as she brings my hands into hers holding them against her chest. Tommy sits forward more, taking his head off Wanda's shoulder as he puts his hands out towards the fire to keep them warm.
I lean my body down so I am matching Wanda's height, resting my chin on her shoulder as she leans her face against mine. Her cold cheeks send a small shiver through my body as she pulls my arms tighter around her, obviously enjoying the extra warmth. I press my lips against her cheek then nuzzle my face into the crook of her neck as my hot breath fans out across it. Wanda's thumbs start to rub circles on my knuckles as one of her fingers traces the ring on my finger.
"This is truly magical." Wanda is the first to break the silence that has only been filled with the sound of the fire in front of us and the wolves in the mountains.
"It's spectacular mom. How is it even possible?" Tommy's eyes are full of wonder as they search the plethora of colors above us.
"I'm not sure, I just know that I will never get bored of watching." I press a kiss to Wanda's jaw as I bring my face from her neck.
"The Aurora Borealis, most commonly known as The Northern Lights. The one above us is rather rare as it has blues and reds within it so it makes this moment even more special. They can also be seen from space."
"Do you know why it happens?" Billy turns to look at me for answers.
"I do. Do you want the scientific version or the easy speaking version?"
"Both because it sounds smart when people say things that seem completely made up." Tommy pushes himself back on the couch resting his head on the edge of his mother's shoulder.
"Okay so basically these Aurora's because there's not just one type, are caused by a change within the magnetosphere. This change is caused by something called solar wind. These changes cause the charged particles within the magnetospheric plasma to alter the direction in their trajectory. The changed particles, which are mostly electrons and protons, will precipitate up into the thermosphere and exosphere. This results in the ionisation and excitation of the atmospheric constituents which causes the emitting of the light and different colors that you see before you. It gets a lot more complicated but that's the basic science."
I let out a small giggle when they all turn to look back at me with raised eyebrows and jaws open, wow you can really tell that they are all related. They have so many of their mothers' mannerisms it's uncanny sometimes. The boys look back to the sky letting out small gasps as a curtain of color joins another, but I look down to Wanda who is still looking at me in awe. I cup her head with my hands tilting it back so it is leaning against the back of the couch and I lean down to give her a spiderman kiss. It's only really a quick few pecks as the boys are present but it's enough to get her to smile against my lips.
"Okay now the dumbed down version for us." I laugh at Wanda's words pecking her lips once more as we join the boys in looking back up to the sky.
"So when charged particles from the sun make contact with atoms within the earth's atmosphere, it causes the electrons within those atoms to increase to a higher energy state than they already are. Eventually, the electrons will drop back down to a lower energy state which releases something called photons. These photons are what emit the light that you are seeing."
"Okay so, somehow particles from the sun make it to earth and then this happens?" Tommy waves his hands towards the colorful lights above.
"Yeah. Think of it as the sun has done a giant burp or coughed and the particles have sprayed across and managed to find their way to earth. These particles mix with gases in the atmosphere that make them glow." Tommy hums in acknowledgement.
"Okay so to get a cool dance show in the sky the sun needs to be sick." I laugh out loud at Billy's cheeky grin as Wanda rolls her eyes but soon enough we are all laughing.
"I guess that's one way to describe it Billy."
"You're both as bad as each other sometimes." Wanda huffs out as she brings my left hand to her lips planting a kiss on my ring causing me to smile at the action. She really is showing me she is okay with me wearing it and it makes my heart soar everytime she interacts with it. Its quiet for a moment before I see Billy look down at the ring then up to me.
"Y/n." I turn to him with a soft smile.
"What's up Billy?" Of course I am prepared for the question or questions he may want to ask.
"Why do have a ring on your finger when you aren't married to mom? Also I thought you said your surname was Barton not Stark?" I see Wanda's eyes go wide as her head turns to look at me then Billy, I always see Tommy take a glance at the ring then up to me.
"Why don't we take this conversation inside? I will light a fire and get us some drinks. Then we can sit down and talk about it properly in the warmth of the cabin instead of out here."
"Okay." Both Billy and Tommy stand and start walking back to the cabin as Wanda turns to look at me with worried eyes.
"Are you sure baby?" I nod as I smile down to Wanda.
"Yeah, they have questions and it would be worse to not answer them."
"Okay, but just say what you're comfortable with don't force it out."
"I won't, but let's go in before you catch a cold." Wanda stands folding up the fee blankets, tucking them under her arm as move next to her wrapping my arm around her shoulders as we walk inside. "Go get some comfy clothes on it will start the fire and make some drinks."
"You got any wine?" Wanda places the blankets on the back of the couch that faces the fireplace.
"What sort of question is that? Of course I have wine." I act offended as Wanda rolls her eyes. "I will open a bottle and make the boys some hot chocolate."
"Mmm okay." Wanda stands on her tiptoes to peck my lips. "Love you baby."
"Love you too Princess."
I make my way into the kitchen, checking that no one else is around before I brace myself against the counter top. One hand holding onto the edge while the other covers my mouth to hide the sob that wants to escape me. I don't know why I've suddenly got the urge to cry or scream, I am perfectly okay with telling the boys. Maybe I just didn't expect it to be so early, I shouldn't have worn the ring because they were obviously going to see it and question what it was.
Maybe it's because I have to yet again relive that worst moment in my entire life, nothing that happened before their death can compare up to it. Not the homelessness, not my mother's or father's way of bringing up a child. Nothing can compare to the loss and eveytime I think I'm okay telling the story the guilt of how I'm moving on consumes me. Its always the fucking guilt. I don't want to feel guilty anymore.
"I got you." I take in a sharp breath when I feel Wanda’s arms wrap around my waist resting her head between my shoulder blade, her hands gently rubbing at my abdomen. "It's okay. I've got you."
"I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm crying." I keep my one hand on the counter while the other wipes are my tears as I try and calm myself down.
"Because this is a lot for you Y/n. We don't have to do this tonight if you're not ready. The boys can wait, they would understand."
"I can't let this fester. Not with them and definitely not in my mind. If I don't tell them the guilt of not telling them is going to crush me at some point."
"Is that guilt greater than the guilt you feel for wanting to tell them?" I nod my head. "I'm proud of you for being able to recognise that."
"Yeah, I had a therapy session during the week and we talked a lot about how their isn't just one type of guilt. And how I need to learn to identify the different types."
"So what guilt are you feeling now?"
"The guilt of opening up that wound again, telling the story. But also the guilt of hiding it away, I'm never going to get better...be able to let myself grieve properly if I hold it all in." Wanda presses a few kisses to my back.
"I'm so proud of you Y/n. It may have only been one therapy session but you have taken in the advice and are applying it. So how much are you going to tell the boys?"
"Only the basics, but I will answer their questions to the best of my ability."
"Okay, but if you can't answer something don't be afraid to not answer it. They will understand."
"They are so mature it's scary."
"It really is sometimes."
"It just means you raised them right." Wanda squeezes me slightly.
"I love you."
"I love you too." I turn around in her arms pressing a kiss to her forehead. "Help me with the drinks?"
~~~~
"Okay so what questions have you got for me?"
Me and Wanda are sitting on the couch tucked under a warm blanket, holding one another's hand underneath and in our others we both have glasses of wine. The boys are both sat on separate arm chairs adjacent to the couch, angled so they can look at us. The only other sound is that of the fire that is slowly heating the cabin.
"Are you married?" Tommy asks a little shyly.
"No, not anymore."
"Why do you still wear the ring?" Billy points to my hand that's holding my wine glass.
"Do you boys know what a widow is? Have you had those sort of conversations before?"
"Isn't a widow someone who was married but isn't anymore because their partner died." A sad smile forms on Billy's face when he realises where this is going. "Oh."
"So, I got married to my girlfriend of 3 years after I turned 18. We were married for just over 2 years, before she died."
"I'm so sorry Y/n." Tommy goes to say something else but decides not to.
"You can ask Tommy."
Wanda squeezes me hand under the blanket, her caring eyes watching my every word to make sure I'm not about to breakdown. I feel a lot better than I did in the kitchen now that I've started speaking about it.
"How did she die?" Tommy runs a finger around the top of his cup still very nervous to be asking questions.
"We were in a car crash. She died almost instantly."
"So you wear the ring to feel closer to her?" I nod at Billy's question.
"Yeah, I used to wear it all the time before it got thr...lost down the garbage disposal." I change my words not wanting to even touch the whole Steph subject.
"Why have you only started wearing it recently? I haven't noticed it before."
"Because it was meant to be our 3 year anniversary last Monday. I put the ring on, went to visit her and when your mom came and picked me up I tried taking the ring off. I was a little worried she would be angry, but instead she stopped me and said I could wear it as long as I need to."
Wanda leans forward to place her drink on the coffee table before nuzzling her head into my neck and I feel her lips leave small kisses on the skin she has access to.
"So why is you surname Barton but also Stark?" Tommy tilts his head.
"So when I married Sarah I took her last name so I went from being Y/n Barton to Y/n Stark. When she died, it was hard to hear the name Stark so I went back to Barton but a lot of my documents still say Stark because I just haven't gotten around to changing them."
"I'm really sorry for your loss Y/n." Tommy moves from his armchair, holding out his arms as he walks over to me practically falling on top of me as he engulfs me in a hug.
Wanda grabs my wine glass to put it on the coffee table when she sees me struggling not to spill it as I wrap my arms around Tommy. My eyes move to Billy who starts to walk over to use so I unwrap my left arm from Tommy and Billy practically jumps at the opening. I have both my arms wrapped around the boys, closing my eyes to relish in the moment as they both squeeze me tightly. Not a moment later Wanda squeezes onto my lap, wrapping her arms around the boys as she rests her head on the front of my shoulder below Billy's head.
"Is there any other questions you boys have?"
"No. Thank you for telling us." Billy mumbles against my shoulder, so I squeeze both the boys closer causing them to be squished against Wanda who let's out a small laugh.
"Can we stay like this a little longer? This is nice." I mumble into the huddle of bodies.
"I agree." The boys say in unison.
"We can stay here as long as you need us." I plant a kiss on the top of Wanda's head at her response.
"I love you guys."
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Word Count: 3046
Small and fluffy for y'all