A/N Welcome back bestiezzzsss :))
OMG IF U HOLD DOWN A LETTER IT GIVES U OPTIONS ßśš :0
AnYwAySsS
TWS/ Scars mentions, depression, PTSD. (All rly minor)
ngl I lost the plans for this chapter, I have 4 documents with the story plans, and idk where they are... Nvm I found them :)) nvm they're gone.... wth? ok improv time :D
I nearly accidentally made my pfp my face... LMAO I mean my face isn't a secret like at all but like breh... oops.
HAPPY READING x
・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
Wilbur had sent Kristen and Phil a text before passing out on the couch, they had pulled all-nighter playing games, finally crashing at 4 am, ultimately agreeing to skip school. Clay was in and out of sleep throughout the night, not a surprise seeing as Sapnap would scream every 5 minutes. He never once moved his arms away from George's waist, scared to let go in case he left. Leaving George to lay against several pillows whilst the blonde held George's waist, sleeping calmly on George's stomach.
Surprisingly George didn't mind. For the first time since the incident physical touch didn't push him into a full panic. Which lead to another thought. He'd have to tell them what happened eventually, they'd piece two and two together once they realized how squirmy and anxious he grew in tight spaces and silent rooms.
"You stayed..." Clay whispers pulling the smaller into a tighter embrace
"Yeah" George whispers, drawing his hands through the blonde locks that were unkept and messily hanging over Clay's face.
Although the situation was still fresh the two boys slept soundly in one another's arms, finally reaching the serenity they ached for the entire time they were apart. And the feeling for the first time in months wasn't brought by drugs. George finally felt safe in his own world, not the makeshift world he had built. The secure grip around his waist, along with the feelings of Clay's soft hair against his palm allowed the feeling he was aching for. The warm breath against his stomach grounded him. He was home. It may be severely damaged and dysfunctional for now, but it still felt safer than anything George had ever had. George was too reveled in the comfort and warmth of the love of his life to even care about the video which for the first time since discovering it, slipped his mind. The entire situation slipped his mind as he pulled closer into the blonde's chest, gripping onto him as though his life depended on it. Because for once he didn't care about it, it meant nothing.
"I'm not going anywhere..." George whispers. A faint smile grows across Clay's face.
"Promise you won't hate me again in 5 minutes?" Clay sighs, finally meeting his eyes with the glimmering brown ones.
"I don't hate you... I never did..." George whispers, still playing with Clay's hair.
A content smile falls on Clay's lips, his hands returning to pulling George into a warm embrace, attempting to warm the smaller who had fallen grimly cold through the night after Sappnap turned on the AC.
He wasn't too late this time. He hadn't lost yet another love in his life. And that feeling was unfamiliar, relief... For once he finally felt the calm relief of the weight being lifted off his shoulders. They had a long way to go, but they would get there. They couldn't live without one another and they would do everything in their power to make this work, to work past the annoyingly complicated situation. Clay knew he would have to gain back Georges trust, but the way Georges held him back forced the thought that maybe they'd be ok. Maybe it wouldn't be as hard as they were anticipating.
Maybe they could go back to normal.
Their normal.
"Are you guys planning on getting up anytime today?" Sapnap scoffs, scrolling through his phone whilst entering the room. It was only then that George realized that Wil, Tommy, Tubbo, Bad, and Skeppy were gone. Karl was the only other person in the room, calmly sleeping on a beanbag.
"I guess" George mutters through a yawn, slowly stretching out his back.
"Nooo" Clay whines gripping tighter around George's waist.
"Come on I'm hungry and you need to shower, you kinda stink" George sighs slowly pushing Clay away from him, growing claustrophobic.
"I just got you back and you're leaving me" Clay sighs eyes falling to his hands.
"I'm not leaving, I'm getting food while you shower, the faster you shower the faster we can go back to sleep" George shrugs, this offer seemingly piquing Clay's interest as he launches himself over the couch toward his room.
"That's the first time I've seen him run in like a month" Sapnap scoffs.
"It's a specialty of mine, Now, Food?" George questions, Sapnap chuckles before leading George into the kitchen where they made chocolate chip pancakes. By the time they had served 4 plates Clay had finished showering and Karl had woken up. Clay's hair was still dripping as he dug into the food on his plate.
"So what's everyone's plans" Karl questions, trying to break the silence that was slowly driving George insane. Consistently tapping his fingers against the marble bench.
"Sleep, sleep, and sleep" Clay yawns before sipping at his orange juice.
"Wow, boring" Karl sighs, Clay's face drops into a frown avoiding eye contact with any of the boys.
"I get it though, it's been an exhausting past couple of weeks" George adds.
"He's slept like all week though" Sapnap chuckles, placing the 4 dirty plates into the sink.
"And that's completely fine" George adds, his tone slightly shifting, Sapnap takes the hint, shutting up whilst shaking his head.
"Come on, Let's go nap, and then we can go to the park or something" George smiles pulling Clay away from the table.
"We don't have to sleep it's ok" Clay shrugs tailing slowly behind George. They finally reach Clay's room which was messier than usual, it was dark and clothes piled on the floor, empty water bottles cluttered his desk along with scrunched up paper with pens.
"Yikes..." George whispers, Clay winces, grimacing his face at the room he hadn't noticed the state of, he had been so consumed in guilt and failure that he had grown disassociated with the world.
"Go lay down, I'll clean up a bit" George offers a smile, Clay hesitantly walking toward his bed. George was quick to light the several candles around Clays room, he then piled up the bottles and paper, tossing them into a trash bag that was in his cupboard, he then tossed all of the clothes on the floor in his hamper in the bathroom, deciding that it was definitely cleaner now. George falls beside Clay sitting beside the boy who seemed spaced out.
"You ok?" George whispers.
"Hm? Mhm" Clay hums still not making eye contact.
"I know that you're not, But I'm here when you're ready to talk" George shrugs, lacing his hand with Clays. It was only then that he noticed the white scars along Clays' arms, they were visibly old as they were pale and faded but his heart still stopped at the sight of them through Clay's rolled-up sleeve.
"My parent's anniversary is coming up, I haven't visited them, not once. I feel like shit because of it but at the same time, I can't do it. I hate them so much..." Clay's voice was hardly over a whisper, eyes still fixated on the ground.
"I need to be there for Drista but everything just falling apart. I thought I lost you, I genuinely thought history was repeating itself and now that you're back I don't really know what to do... Because you got better without me, You were better without me..."
"I was a mess without you, I would be dead without you. The reason why I fought so hard to get better was so I could be good enough for you... I wanted to fix this with you because I realized how much I blamed everything on you. I wanted to be healthy the next time we were together because you deserve the world, You raised your sister, you stayed strong for so goddamn long and you deserve the absolute world for it..." George offers a smile pulling Clay's face for their eyes to meet.
"But I fucked it up... I hurt you, I hurt her... I hurt everyone" Clay mumbles.
"You raised Drista, You saved me, You stayed strong after going through a really shitty thing. I think it's your turn to heal Clay and that'll come with breakdowns and mistakes, but you need to go through that to get better, it's a natural part of lashing out" George shrugs, tightening his grip on Clay's hand.
"How the hell are you being so supportive right now" Clay sighs, evidently frustrated whilst pulling his hand from Georges.
"Because I went through this a month ago. You can go resort to drugs, cutting, and alcohol but when that runs out you still have to face your demons and they'll only get worse the longer you leave them" George responds, still watching Clay as he rubs his hands over his eyes.
"Shut up" Clay mumbles.
"Ok" George shrugs, crossing his legs whilst breathing in the fresh scent of the candles.
"I didn't mean actually shut up" Clay whispers after a short moment of silence, he slowly sits up with a sigh.
"I'm sorry" Clay whispers.
"Stop apologizing" George scoffs slightly pushing Clays' arm.
Silence falls through the room, the only sound being George's increasingly heavy breathing and the sound of his fingers tapping against the bedframe. Clay had sat back against the headboard of the bed, taking notice of Georges fidgeting, usually, it was the other way around. It was odd, to say the least.
"You ok?" Clay breaks the silence.
"Yeah, Yeah I'm good" George offers a smile before drawing his eyes back around the room, counting the posters on the walls, then the keys on Clays keyboard.
"Ok, seriously what is going on with you?" Clay adds, placing his hand over Georges to stop the tapping, George hadn't even realized that Clay got up.
"Nothing, I'm good, I thought you were tired, go to sleep" George shrugs, talking all too fast to even try to be convincing.
"Right... I'll go get your grammy for the world's worst performance and then you can tell me what's happening" Clay scoffs before standing up and sitting beside George, Pushing George's leg so they were facing one another on the bed.
They fall into silence, George avoiding eye contact, tapping his fingers against his leg, trying to block out the thoughts of that night. Ever since then silence had been his enemy.
"George..." Clay whispers taking George's hand into his own. George takes a deep breath, unexpected touch still made him jump, no matter how hard he tried it wouldn't stop.
"I think you should work on yourself before I tell you" George offers a smile through his tearful eyes.
"Did someone hurt you?" Clay asks, evidently noticing George's jolt when he held his hand.
"I think you should work on yourself..." George repeats, dropping his eyes to his other hand that was now picking at the sheets.
"George..." Clay whispers, anger was laced in his voice.
"Phil dealt with it..." George adds, he didn't want Clay to get mad, it was the last thing he needed, all of this was the last thing Clay needed.
"Dealt with what?" Clay questions, attempting to stay calm.
"Nothing that concerns you right now, Lay down" George adds, trying to change the subject, he quickly pushed himself to his feet to blow out the candles.
"George-" Clay retorts instinctively pulling George's waist to bring him back, George visibly flinches, letting go of a deep breath as he comes face to face with Clay who immediately dropped his hands from the teary-eyed brunette.
"It's nothing ok, can we please just go to sleep" George whispers, wiping the tear from his cheek. Clay's face shifted as he pieced two and two together, hurt flashed in his eyes along with a wave of deadly anger that seemed to subside momentarily.
"Who was it" Clay questions, crossing his arms tightly in an attempt to restrain himself.
"I said don't worry about it" George adds before blowing out the candles around the room.
"Fine, I'm not gonna force you to tell me anything" Clay whispers laying down on the bed, staring at the ceiling blankly. George soon falling beside him, laying against Clay's chest.
"I'm not ready to talk about it again, but when I am I promise you'll be the first I talk to" George whispers, tracing circles into Clay's chest.
"It's ok, I understand, and don't feel pressured to tell me. But If I make you uncomfortable you need to tell me ok" Clay whispers, stroking his hand through George's hair.
"Can we put the tv on... I don't like when it's quiet" George mumbles dropping his head to rest entirely on Clay who quickly turned on a random tv show.
"G'night Georgie" Clay whispers, awkwardly leaving his hands beside him in fear of scaring George, he was a lot more aware of the situation and he couldn't bare the thought of possibly hurting or scaring him.
"Night" George whispers, pulling Clays' arms to wrap around his waist, a small smile growing on both their faces before falling into a calming sleep once again. They had all the time in the world to mend their broken hearts so for now, they would sleep away the mental drainage until they were energized enough to face the world. Energized enough to face the world together. Because now that they had one another they would face their demons with the other there to fall back on when needed. And that comfort was all they needed to know that they'd be ok. That they'd get through this, find the bright light that everyone was so high on. It was finally their turn to be happy.
Though two negatives make a positive, two broken hearts can never end in anything but a disaster. Will the two heal one another or hurt one another?
I guess we'll find out soon enough...
・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
Ok, DNF is back!! YAY MORE WHOLESOME COUPLE SHIZ :D
They also go back to school soon which is fun bc football :))
Which also means more family fun :D
What are everyone's thoughts? --------->
You have no reason to fear the future :)) Promise
How's everyone doing recently? Feel free to rant in the comments ---->
What's everyone's fave seasoning or sauce, Mine is Nandos peri peri hot sauce it fuckin slaps bro- Like YUM the spice wit the delicious taste like :d I put that shit on everything and Chicken salt like YUM. I'm a bit passionate abt my love for the sauce. ANYWAYS, what's yours? -------------->
Last chapter for tonight I'm exhausted bc I ate like 17 melatonin gummies :/ LOL
GOODNIGHT <3
MUCH LOVE AND HAPPY READING x