Xolo's POV
The Uber should be here any minute now. I never been so impatient and anxious to get somewhere in my life. I need to talk to Jules , I can't let this whole thing go on any longer now that I know the truth..
I feel like such an idiot not only because I let myself be manipulated and fall for all Madison's lies but because I didn't doubt it for one second- I just went off on Jules without a blink of an eye. I let my anger take over and she tried to tell me .. she tried to tell me so many times and I just was a dick to her..
2 years pass by and you're telling me I find out about all of this shit now.. I'll be lucky if she even talks to me after all I did.
The Uber finally pulled up in front of Madison's house. Can't wait to leave and never see her again. That manipulative little bitch .. the way I actually had feelings for her too-
"Thank you " I said to the Uber driver as I rushed in the car. We left and I anxiously gazed out the window , fidgeting around with my fingers..I don't know what to expect.. I don't even know exactly what to say. It's been 2 years , where do I even begin ,how can I come back from that. I feel so embarrassed.
All I did ,when she never even did anything wrong all this time. All the pain I caused her.. the way I fell for it all. I feel embarrassed and just so guilty .. I don't even have the words to try and talk to her, there's no excuse whatsoever for all I did .
She probably hates me and won't want me in her life again but I can't give up. I want her back in my life , I wanna make up for the past 2 years , I've missed her. So I have to try...
✨Back to Jules' POV ✨
I finally got home and am now rushing up to my room. Thankfully my mom isn't home so she doesn't have to see me all upset. She's at work still, it's 8:00 pm.
When I got into my bedroom all I felt was some relief. I know today is the last day I would ever see that school or the people in it ever again.
I won't have to deal with Madison like I did today or for these past 2 years. I won't have to deal with Xolo and feel sad or nervous every time I see him . I really don't get why she even started again with me today..
Why she couldn't just let it go we just graduated , she doesn't have to see me ever again. But no she couldn't go one day without insulting me or rubbing it in my face that she's the one who has him. That's She the important one , the only one.
I am just really fed up with her running her mouth and consistently bringing me down. She makes me feel bad enough about myself already. I'm fed up with this whole situation to be honest.
Just so done with it all , I'm not going to keep hoping or waiting around for Xolo. It's a waste of time and I'm not going to keep feeling hurt or giving him so much power over me when he never even cared. It's emotionally draining . shouldn't have to fight to explain my side of things , if he cared he would have asked ,instead of straight assuming and cutting me off so fast.
So I'm pretty much done with him too, goodbye and good luck to them both , they deserve eachother. Time to move past this..
I walked up to my wall of Polaroids , I have a whole wall next to my dresser dedicated to Polaroids. A lot of them are of Xolo. It's pictures of us over the years. My eyes slowly began to water up as I looked up at all of them.. trying not to think of all memories that are attached to them.
I've always had these up on my Wall, have never taken them down even when we had that whole fight. Even when we stopped talking and turned into strangers , no matter how mad I was , no matter how much I Cried. Despite all the pain I was going through ,I kept those up because it brought me some comfort to still have things of him and of us together.
Pictures I could look back on and remember when times were good. Pictures that helped me hold onto hope But that's it that's all they are now , memories and this time I don't want to remember them anymore. Ready to forget and move on so it's time to throw these out.
One by one I took down each Polaroid , not looking at any one of them for more than 5 seconds , so the memories wouldn't hit me. Just want to get all of these off my wall and into the garbage can. I sped up my pace until I suddenly slowed down when I came across one picture..
It was us when we were in the 5th grade at an amusement park that our parents took us to. We always had little trips like that . We had face paintings on and our faces were squished together , we were smiling and our arms were wrapped tight around eachother.
The next picture was of us asleep in the car that day , my head was on Xolos chest and his head was resting on the top of mine. We were both looking like we were drooling with our mouths open.
Tears slowly filled my eyes as I continued gazing at those pics, remembering that day so vividly. that was such a fun day , one of my favorite memories when times were easier and also a time when I started to develop a little crush on him..
I really miss those times. I Can't believe I've known this boy so long and he's just not here anymore .. I quickly tried to snap myself out it because I don't wanna cry. So I held back my tears , I looked up at my wall to grab more pictures but my eyes started traveling through all of them... every picture I saw was of him ,of us ,of him ,of us - he's everywhere on this wall but he's nowhere.. I felt an overwhelming wave of memories start to hit me and the tears I tried to hold back started streaming down my face.
God I'm so dramatic - why am I still crying - over taking some pictures down really Jules ?! He wasn't even my boyfriend , just bestfriend. Why do I feel this much about a bestfriend.. I'm so stupid it's been so long . I hate this - I should be over this by now , all these thoughts ran through my head as I continued to cry.
I was snapped out of my thoughts when I heard rapid knocking at the door. My mom is still at work who could it be ? .. um okay - I don't want anyone to see me like this so I quickly tried to compose myself and wiped up all of my tears with the sleeve of my sweater . I took a deep breath as I went down the stairs.
I took one last breath before opening the door. Everything's fine. But I wonder who it is ,Im not expecting anyone so I assume it's like a UPS guy wanting me to sign a package or something
As soon as I opened the door , I looked up to meet eyes with - Xolo ?... I felt my heart drop to my stomach in that very moment and I froze in my tracks , I couldn't say a word ... am I seeing things ? Is Xolo actually here ? He hasn't been here in 2 years and last time I checked he hates me .. I searched his eyes in confusion, His eyes staring right back into mine.
There was complete silence, all we had was eye contact ..he looks anxious as if something had just happened . I swear if he's here to yell at me again.
"Um - Hi Jules I -" he tried to break the silence as he looked down at me.
"Look - If you're here to yell at me , you can save it. Because I swear if I have to stand here and listen to you go off on me one more time , starting this whole drama back up again , so help me God because -I am so tired of this whole situation already- I don't know what your girlfriend told you I did this time but I didn't do anything. So if you're here to curse me out , say you don't want me in your life - whatever the fuck else just like the last time you showed up here . I got the point already - you've made it extremely clear to me so you can just leave and we can go our separate ways , that sums up everything you wanna say now doesn't it Xolo?" I cut him off before he could say anything else because I already knew that's where it's going to go so I did him the favor of skipping to it, now I can go back to my forgetting and healing and he can go back to his girlfriend who he is so in love with.
"No -look trust me I'm not here to yell at you I- wait have you been crying ?" Xolo eyes softened as he slowly studied every part of my face and searched my eyes ,acting all concerned.
Great, just what I needed when I was trying to forget everything ,forget about him ,and move on from all this shit.He just had to show up and all of a sudden act all worried.
"Since when do you care about me crying or about me at all ? !Please - You freaking yelled at me til I cried and didn't care one bit and where the fuck have you been these past 2 years ? No where !and then you ignore me at the graduation ? !You have never cared and now you suddenly want to show up and act like it ? Just stop , If you're not here to yell at me then what are you here for ? Just wanna take in and enjoy seeing me all upset and hurt one last time just like your girlfriend ?" I snapped as I rose my eyebrows.
"No , I would never get any joy out of that and I'm sorry , We Can talk about all of this . That's why I'm here I really want to talk to you , so is it okay if we go sit down ?" Xolos voice softened as he gestured to the couch with his eyes then looked back at me.
"Talk about what Xolo ? You wanna give a goodbye speech or something? Talk about how you still hate me for what I supposedly did ? I don't wanna hear it , it would just set me back and remind me that we are no longer in eachother lives and I really don't need that at the moment" I sighed as I broke our gaze.
" No and I Don't hate you Jules - I never did hate you.. I know the last thing you wanna do right now is talk to me but can we please just go and talk. I found something Out and I wanna explain everything, I wanna talk about all of this with you. I don't want you to keep going on feeling this way and I -" he began to plead with hopeful eyes.
What does he even wanna talk about..
"And why should I let you explain ? Every time I tried to explain and talk to you about this whole thing that day and the day of the football game , you wouldn't even let me get one word in. You kept saying you don't wanna hear my side , that it's pathetic . That I'm pathetic , you kept cutting me off ! Hell you even blocked me when all I wanted to do was talk to you! You didn't even care to hear my side you just went off and cut off our friendship like it was nothing , so why should I let you explain anything ?!" I ranted as I furrowed my eyebrows at him. I mean really what does he even wanna say 2 freaking years later. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't curious but he doesn't get to suddenly show up now and act like he cares.
"Jules I am so sorry , I know and I feel so stupid for not letting you explain yourself - Your side isn't pathetic , I know now that I was the one who was being a fucking idiot. I know you never did anything wrong Jules - you were never a bitch to her and I just found today.. when Taylor sent me a video of you guys talking in the bathroom " Xolo sighed as he looked at me. I could see his eyes were filled with some guilt.
All of the thoughts running through my head paused and all I feel is in shock at the moment . Wait what ? Am I hearing this correctly.. he knows I never did anything wrong.. ?
"W-What? And what video ? I'm confused - sorry -
you really do know that I never did anything wrong ?" I questioned with wide eyes as I looked up at him.
"Yes I really do know you never did anything wrong , I'll explain everything and there's so much I wanna tell you but can we please sit down first if that's okay ?" Xolo gently asked.
"Um Yea - sure " I nodded as I stepped out of the way , opening the door some more so he can walk in. I'm just still caught off guard ,the fact that he's actually here after so long - the way that he somehow knows I never did anything and that Madison was lying.. it's just so much to take in.
"Wow , it looks the same " Xolo said as he looked around the place and sat down on the couch.
"Yea , nothing's really changed " I lied as I sat down next to him. I mean the house still looks the same but in other terms , a lot has changed since he's been gone. The daily hang outs , talks , outings ,sleep overs were gone.
His presence was gone when I was used to it always being here and it always being us all the time.. I went through lots of pain and it's still hard to this day..
" Thank you for letting me in and giving me the chance to talk, I know I'm the last person you wanted to see after all that's happened.. but I just had to talk to you , Today Taylor sent me a video of you and Madison talking in the bathroom. She uh - she recorded the whole thing and in it as I'm sure you know because I mean you were the ones talking - but Um in it Madison talked about all her lies , fake tears , how she made the whole thing up because she wanted to get rid of you... " Xolo turned all his attention to me as he looked me in the eyes, gently explaining everything.
Wait Taylor was recording everything?..
" what ? She was recording the whole time ? Wait that's what she meant by she won't let Madison turn this around on me this time " I finally realized. Oh that sneaky woman.
"Yes and I'm so glad she did because if not I would have never known. I would have continued being with a lying bitch who was rude to my best friend and I would have continued not having you in my life.. and I don't expect you to accept my apology or to allow me back into your life but I honestly feel so fucking stupid and I'm so sorry , I swear when I found out - when I tell you I felt so bad .. that's an understatement I literally feel like such a dick and I'm so sorry Jules . I should have never let myself get manipulated and fall for her lies and not ask your side of things.. And the worst part is you tried to tell me so many times but I kept cutting you off.. I let 2 years pass by when it could have easily been avoided " Xolo explained as his eyes softened up.
I can't believe I'm hearing all this right now , That's some of the things I been wanting to hear for 2 years . I'm happy and relieved but at the same time this was the day I was supposed to be moving on from everything and he just shows up now ? After 2 years ? This should feel like one of the happiest moments of life but He put me through so much all this time and suddenly now he cares just because he found out ? Deep down it's hurt to say but I think he's only sorry because he found out.
"Look - thank you for saying all of this , I'm so
Relieved you know the truth you have no idea because literally its all I been dying for you to know but It's hard because maybe You're not sorry , maybe you only feel pity because you found out what actually happened and only suddenly sorry solely because you found out. Not for any other reason.It doesn't change what you did. The sad truth is that I bet if Taylor wouldn't have sent you that video today the thought Of showing up here and talking to me wouldn't have have ever crossed your mind. you still would never even think of me. You would never apologize or try talking to me in a million years. You would still be hating me and still would not care to hear my side of things or care about me in general .Because my side is pathetic because I'm pathetic because I'm a bitch because you hate me because you never want to see me again or ever want me in your life again remember ? I'm sure I'm missing so many of the other things you told me but yea you're just sorry because you found out and honestly I don't know how to take that it almost makes it worse because this proves to me if it wasn't for the video things would still be the same way they were just an hour ago.. the same they
Have been these past 2 years "I sighed as my eyes started to water up.
You could say I'm just being negative but is that not the truth ? If it wasn't for the video he wouldn't give a fuck , someone had to shove the truth in the face for him to talk to me..
"Jules .. there are so many things I wanna say to that right now. But let me start by saying that I never hated you, I never stopped caring about you , and I'm so sorry for taking out my anger on you and saying horrible things like that until you cried.. I feel so bad and I get why you feel that way because I was such a dick .. but It still hurts me that you've been feeling this way these past 2 years because it's just not the truth and I never wanted to make you feel that way.. you gotta understand that I may have been super angry with you but never once did I really hate you , I just felt so betrayed and pissed off.. but even then I didn't hate you , I couldn't even bring myself to it because when ever my anger was calmed I still thought of you and all I had was love for you in my heart deep down . I just keep trying to deny it. I could never actually hate you and I never stopped caring about you. I mean we literally grew up together you've been there for me through so much and we've been through so much together Jules . There was never a moment in my Life when you were still in it ,that I felt like I was going through something alone. I could always talk to you about anything and you could always talk to me about anything and we did everything together. You're such a big part of my life Jules , I could never hate you and I could never not care about you. And You can't say I never cared because who was always there for you when you were going through the problems with your dad? Who's arms would you always cry in when things got worse with him, who stood up for you in school and got mad when people were bullying you in elementary and middle school ? Almost got suspended by the way - and Who would always sleep over not only Because it was a daily thing but just to make sure you were safe in that house ? Who couldn't go 3 days without seeing you because all they wanted to do was hang out with you. Even sleep overs werent enough and There's so much more I Can name but you see , I have always cared about you and I never stopped ever . Even tho I didn't try talking to you these past 2 years that doesn't mean I've never thought of you . I thought about you all the time. I couldn't go three days without seeing you before Can you imagine how hard it has been ? I missed you so much and I always thought how is she feeling how is she doing , is she okay , does she hate me and I would reminisce on all our memories.. I couldn't talk to you because I thought it was still a fucked up thing you did and I didn't want to disrespect Madison by talking to you again .." Xolo ranted as sadness filled his eyes , hoping that I would believe him.
"Okay Yes Xolo You're right But you see even then you still cut me off so what does it matter ?! who hasn't been these past 2 years ? Who wasn't there when all I would do is cry myself to sleep at night ? Who wasn't there when I started to have trouble eating and I was losing weight because this shit was all that ever consumed my mind ? Huh ? it would literally always make me feel down and make me lose my appetite and who Wasn't there ? . Who wasn't there when I had to deal with seeing you and Madison everyday ? Just being reminded that you hated me who wasn't there when I had to deal with Madison still being a bitch to me? Who wasn't there when I had to watch someone I grew up with hate me and enjoy his new life without me ? Who wasn't there when my best fucking friend cut me off all because of what his girlfriend said no questions asked ? Who wasn't there when I had to deal with family members asking me all the time about you ? Reminding of you all the time. But you wanna know what you did do ? Who had to have the truth shoved in their face just so that they could talk and apologize to their bestfriend ? I know if it wasn't for that you wouldn't give a fuck. Do you see all that you've put me through and now you Just wanna show up and expect me to forgive you ?!" I finally let everything out as tears were dying to fall from my eyes , but I wanna keep it in I don't want him to see me cry.
Xolo just stared in my eyes with concern and I could see his expression drop.
"Oh my gosh - You had trouble eating ?.. Jules that's a serious thing.. please you can't do that to yourself.. no matter the case you Can't let it put your health at risk I'm serious and I feel so - I don't even know what I feel right now but I just feel so hurt And guilty that I caused you all that pain. More than I can even describe. I would never wanna put you through that. Believe it or not I care about you so much and I'm just so sorry ,I know I wasn't there and there's no excuse for any of it. I was just a fucking idiot who believed their girlfriend more than their bestfriend.. who didn't even stop to question hey maybe I should ask the person I've grown up with my whole life about this instead of assuming and cutting her off . And yes I know I only came here because I found out but trust me that doesn't mean I've never thought of talking to you. Like I said before I've missed you and I always still did care about you . So of course I've thought talking to you , I'm just a stubborn Idiot , you know this and I also didn't want to be disrespectful towards Madison. And look - I get everything you said and if I were you I would hate me too and we Can keep talking about the way I found out and what would have happened if I didn't find out and what if this and that and all my mistakes about this situation that I will always regret but I'm here now and I mean It when I say that I am truly so sorry Jules - you have no idea how bad - guilty - idiotic just a mix of things I feel and how badly I wish I would have just let you explain yourself that day so I could still have had my bestfriend these past 2 years .. but things just happened this way and I hate it .. all I can do now is say I'm sorry and if you'll let me I really want to make up for those 2 years and have you back in my life " Xolo pleaded with slight tears filling his eyes , waiting for an answer.
It feels like such a relief to hear all of this.. and i Can see it in his eyes he really means it but how can I forgive so easily.
"I -I don't hate you . I never did either.. " I corrected him as I stared back at him then looked down.
"Thanks , that's good to know " he nodded as he kept looking at me , waiting for my answer.
I just honestly don't know what to do. I do miss him so much and this is all I've ever wanted.. all I've been hoping for. I just still can't believe all this is happening it's so much to take in and it still bugs me what if he didn't find out would he still be trying to talk to me ? But I guess If I give him the chance he can build my trust for him back up..? I do really miss him and he's done with Madison so I guess I don't have to worry about that anymore..
"I - I forgive you.. I do believe that you feel so bad , I can see it and I have to admit I guess I did miss you a ton and wouldn't mind making up for these past 2 years.. " I tried to hold back a little smile from breaking out as I rolled my eyes.
" wait what -Really ? You mean it ?! So this means We can start over right and I can have my bestfriend back?!" Xolo instantly smiled , excitement in his eyes as he slightly jolted up from his seat.
" Yea Yea but you still hurt me and it'll take some time to build back my trust " I tried to hold back my smile at his excitement, acting all serious.
"Yes ! Yes of course oh God I am so lucky !" He yelled as his hands reached for the small of my back, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into a tight hug. I instantly let out a big smile that I was trying to hold back as I reached above his shoulders and hugged him back. It's been a long time since I felt his amazing warm bear hugs and been in his embrace
I feel so happy , I could almost cry. I never thought this day would come , I finally have my bestfriend back.
"Aww look at you , you did miss me , just don't choke me " Xolo laughed as his arms were still wrapped around me and mine were around the back of his neck and shoulders.
"Shut up , you missed me more " I laughed as I let go.
"Maybe .. so does this mean we can have a sleep over ? "Xolo smiled with the light back in his eyes. He seems much happier and it's like how he was before.
"Ummm not so fast - I literally said you have to work for my trust back. First day I forgive you and you already wanna sleep in my bed ? Romario Xolo Mariduena , where is the class ?" I joked as my eyes widened.
" oh -do not call me by my full name you know I've always hated that but hey I kinda missed it , glad to have you back " Xolo said with a growing smile.
"Or should I call you sho -sho or I mean Cholo was a good one too" I said remembering all the names I used to call him.
"Oh please - do you wanna get into why you called me sho-sho because I can definitely bring it up and embarrass you " he teased. Ummm that's a story for another day.
"No - no you better not " I threatened as I pointed a finger at him.
"Only if you let me sleep over , I'm too lazy and tired to walk all the way home . You don't want me walking home in the dark all tired would you ?" Xolo dramatically explained as he put a hand to his chest.
This man...
"Ugh okay fine - I guess my mom would literally be so happy to see that you're here tomorrow morning " I laughed
"Shut up you know you're happy too, admit it. You missed our sleepovers" Xolo tilted his head as he stared at me.
"Says the one who wanted a sleep over in the first place " I rolled my eyes with a slight laugh.
"Whatever , race you upstairs!" Xolo yelled as he ran up. This man.. okay yes he May be sleeping over and I may have missed it but he still needs to build back my trust.
Authors note : Damn guys this legit the longest chapter I've ever written I hope you liked it and I hope you don't stop reading this book or find it boring now just because they made up 😭There's still lots more to come and cobra Kai cast shall be coming soon:) . How many of are gonna keep reading ?
✨Don't forget to Vote if you liked it and want more ✨
-Ash