Chapter Sixty-seven
-
At first, Luke thought there was a party going on at Ashton's house. There was music playing, and there were people in almost every room.
But they were all just his roommates - and his roommate's friends and girlfriends, and now a boyfriend. Ashton introduced him to all of them. "This is my boyfriend Luke." Each time he smiled tensely and knew that he would never remember all of their names.
Then the curly haired boy led her up a staircase that shot out to many different hallways. Luke hated that fact that the staircase was so narrow and he couldn't walk by Ashton's side anymore. He felt unsafe in a house surrounded by drunk, rowdy young men,
Ashton stopped at turned, awkwardly, holding onto a door handle. "Luke," he grinned "I have officially gotten you to my room."
"Who knew it was so far away?" Luke laughed jokingly, panting slightly from a lot of stairs which he had just climbed.
He opened the door behind him, then took both his hands, pulling him up and in.
The room was small, with a narrow window which was slightly open. There was no light on the ceiling, so Ashton had to turn on a lamp which was on his bed side table. It was only just a room with a bed and a rather old looking chair.
He looked up and around. "We're at the very top of the house, aren't we?"
"Servants' quarters," he revealed, reflecting back on history. "I was the only willing one to climb the stairs.
Luke shifted nervously, and the floor creaked beneath her. Ashton's bed was unmade, an old looking quilt was thrown over it, pillows in disarray. He straightened the quilt and picked up a pillow off of the floor.
Luke could hear the wind whistling in the window frames. "I bet it gets cold up here-"
"And hot in the summer," Ashton said "Are you thirsty? I could make tea. I should have asked while we were down stairs.
"I'm fine," Luke said.
Where Ashton was standing, his curly locks brushed the ceiling. "Do you mind if I change, I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable about your body or anything?"
"Sure, go ahead," Luke smiled.
Whilst Ashton searched his draws for some cleaner and more comfier clothes, Luke scanned the room. running his fingers along the old chair. The room was worse than he thought, Dark. Remote. It seemed basically enchanted.
He took off his coat and set it on the bed, he tugged off his soggy vans and put her legs up on the seat. If he held his breath, he could hear Bon Jovi quietly blaring at least two floors below.
Ashton was back before Luke was ready for him. He was now wearing a carry green flannel and black jeans. Luke thought it was a nice colour on him. It made his face tan and his hair yellow and his mouth pink. He sat down on the bed next to her- he knew he would. There was no room in this room for personal space.
He picked the blondes to hand up off the couch and held it loosely in both of his, looking down at it, then running his fingertips along the back, up and down his thin fingers.
He took a deep breath. "How did you end up living here?"
"I worked with Gareth and he told me his old roommate had moved out, I was living with my mum, brother and sister and I wanted some more independence. I don't mind the stairs."
Luke nodded. The more that Ashton touched his hand, the more than it tickled.
"Feel nice?" he asked, looking up at the younger boy. Luke nodded again.
"So what happened this week?" Ashton asked. "How are you?"
Luke shook his head. "Crazy. Fine. I mean I admitted to my problems and I saw my dad.
The elder's lips twitched to one side. "Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"That's great!" You could tell he really thought so, yet he could sense something was different.
Ashton brought one leg up between them and bumped his thigh with his knee. Luke practically jumped off the other side of the bed.
Ashton made a frustrated noise that was a half laugh, half sigh and wrinkled his nose. "Are you nervous?"
"I guess so," he admitted. "I'm sorry."
"Do you know why? I mean, what's making you nervous?"
Luke placed his hand on Ashton's chest and sighed, "I made a deal with Sid. I really want to make you feel special," he muttered, his finger roaming up and down the clothed body.
"You always make me feel special Luke," Ashton assured him.
"Maybe I do, but I want to treat you like you treat me," the blonde said.
Ashton shook his head, gently taking a hold of the younger boys wrist and pulling him down, so he was on laying on top of his chest.
"Ashton," Luke breathed gently. "I-"
"These little moments of us being together is all I want from you Luke. I want to feel the love from you."
Biting his lip, the blonde rested his head on his boyfriend's chest, listening to the beat of his healthy heart. His fingers trailing up the boy's neck and jaw.
Ashton had just shaved, so his jaw and neck were something extra. Soft plus minty. He ran a hand down the front of his flannel shirt until his fingers caught the first button.
Ashton inhaled.
Luke found the next button.
When he had finished with the third. Ashton pulled away from the younger and yanked the shirt over his head. Luke looked down at his chest like he's never seen anything like it before, it had been a while since he had seen his boyfriend shirtless.
"You look thinner with your clothes on," he said with surprise, tracing his fingers over his shoulders.
Ashton laughed. "Is that a compliment."
"It's a... I did not expect you to look so strong."
Ashton tried to kiss him, but the blonde leaned back. Ashton was not noticeably muscular. Not like other boys at his school. Luke always saw Ashton as skinny and something he was not. But, now he saw him as firm and nicely shaped, muscles curving around his shoulders, over his arms, across his chest.
"You're beautiful," Luke said. "I really now do truly see that."
"What do you mean," Ashton mumbled, in a trance by the blondes smooth touch.
"I thought your body was perfect, something I could never have. I only saw you as a goal I would never reach."
"Thanks?" Ashton questioned, not sure how to respond.
"But, that's not you. I see that now! Your muscles curve smoothly into your body, so firm and muscular. It's true art. Not like any others."
Ashton smiled to himself. He knew now. "What have you been taking?"
"Nothing."
"Anything besides your medication?" he questioned, wanting to make sure this wasn't his boyfriend talking off of weed or something.
"I didn't take my medication. Sid said I don't have to anymore," Luke revealed, smiling brightly.
"That explains the creative way you're talking then," Ashton muttered. "Why the hell did he take you off of them. No offence, but you are mental without them. It's like me being off of my meds, I'll be trying to murder everyone!"
"They make my anorexia worse, more so my binging. I haven't even thought about over eating once this week. I haven't eaten much though, but Sid said that is alright."
"I fucking hate your pills," Ashton laughed simply, running his hands through his hair.
"Why?"
"They changed you. I fell in love with the Luke who spoke nonsense. Who've words bounced when he spoke. I've got that Luke back now. And do you know what?"
"What?"
"This is all I ever want from you. Yourself."
"I have people in my head now, sometimes they're not nice but I won't let them hurt you. I love you, Ashton."
"I love you, my mental little boy!"
-