Rory was brought back into their room. She was awake and crying. Tristan and Lorelai both walked over to her bed and sat on each side.
"Baby, you have a strong support group. You are not alone, I am here, and your mom. All our friends and your grandmas. Everyone sends their love and sympathies for our loss. I don't know a lot right now about what to do or say or really anything but the one thing I do know is you and I are in this together and we will get through this together." He leaned down and kissed her head.
"Thank you, baby. I know this was our baby and we both lost it. I also know we will get through this together, we have to we have a son at home who needs both of us. I love you, Tristan."
"I love you, Mare more than you will ever know or understand. You are my other half without you I don't think I could survive. I need you like I need air to breathe."
Rory smiled and Lorelai watched this exchange between husband and wife, her daughter and son-in-law. This is what marriage is about being together and supporting each other no matter what. Loving each other through the good and the bad parts that life hands us.
"Alright, you two are so sickeningly cute. You both should do a marriage video this is what marriage should be like. Now, I hate to bring this up right now but plans have to be made. What funeral home do you both want to use?"
"The same one Grandma Emily used for Grandpa."
"Alright, where do you want to bury the baby? As well as when do you want to have the funeral?"
"Rory, can we bury the baby in my family cemetery?"
"Yeah, Tristan I didn't realize you have a family cemetery. Is this where we would be buried as well?"
"It is if that's okay with you. Our family has a small cemetery close to where Richard is buried. There is no cost for burial because we own the entire cemetery. We can bury the baby right at our head so when we pass we will all be together."
"I like the thought of that. Yes, that is where we will bury our baby. Okay. Do you already have the burial spots placed or do we need to go and pick where we would be buried?"
"No, we would have to stop by and choose the area we want to be buried and for the tombstone, we can buy a Triple headstone and have our date of birth and names placed before, and once we pass then they will come out and inscribe our date of death. So, at least that will be taken care of for our children when our time comes many, many years from now."
"Lorelai, Rory I think we need to do the funeral the day after tomorrow. I think Rory needs some rest. Does that sound okay, baby?"
"Yes, Tristan it does. The doctor should be in shortly to let us know the gender of the baby so we can name our baby."
"Alright, I am going to step out into the hall and make the arrangements with the funeral home. I will be right outside if either of you needs anything. Do you need anything from the cafeteria right now?"
"No, I am fine right now mom. Tristan, do you need anything?"
"No thank you, Lorelai I am fine right now. Also, let the funeral home know that Finn and the guys are taking care of the costs. He asked me when I called him to let him know we had lost the baby to allow them to take care of the expenses for the funeral services."
"I figured but we can really do this on our own. We are buying the headstone. Mom, find out what the services will entail. Like what do we need to pick out? Tristan, I need you to go to the house and get me some clothes."
"Nope, I am not leaving you. Mom and dad are stopping by the house and getting your stuff. I hope you don't mind but I threw your pants and underwear away."
"No, I am glad you did and good I am glad you are on top of this stuff. Who is getting my clothes together?"
"I ask Finn to get them together for my parents and we both know Finn will close his eyes when he gets to your underwear drawer. You will get whatever is on top." They both busted out laughing.
"That's true and that's fine. I am really glad Finn lives so close and was at home today."
"Yeah, me too baby. He sent me a text right before you came back and said Michael is up and is eating lunch."
"We have some really great friends. I know they are all going to be coming over to ensure we are doing okay and probably sending us meals for several weeks. I love those guys."
"I know you do sweetie." Just then a knock on the door disturbed their conversation. Dr. Fox entered the room.
"Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Dugray. We just placed the baby's remains in a box for the funeral home. We were able to determine that your baby was a girl. I am going to examine you and then if everything is fine you will be discharged tomorrow morning."
"A girl. Tristan, our baby was a girl. Okay, Dr. Fox thank you."
He completed the exam and then walked over to the sink and washed his hands. "Alright, everything looks fine. Now, you can't have sex for a couple of weeks, you need to take showers instead of baths for the next week, and come back if you start bleeding or cramping. Other than that you are fine for normal activities and you will be a little sore for a few days. You should get your menstrual cycle back within two to four weeks. Do you have any questions for me?"
"Do you know why she miscarried? Was there anything wrong with the baby that you could tell? I know she was really sick during this pregnancy unlike with our first child."
"Honestly, the baby looked fine. No abnormalities or anything. Rory is older and sometimes miscarriages can happen in women over thirty more than when she was in her mid-twenties. If you want to try again I wouldn't wait too long and talk to your gynecologist about what you can do to prevent another miscarriage."
"Thank you, Dr. Fox. We appreciate everything. So when the funeral home comes they just need to ask for the remains of Baby Dugray?"
"Yes, they know where to go to pick up the remains of your baby. I wish you both good luck and once again I am so sorry for your loss."
He left the room and Tristan sat down beside Rory. He put his arms around her and she cuddled into his chest and they cried together. They mourned the loss of their daughter.
"Alright, baby we need to decide on a name for her. Do you have any thoughts?"
"I like Victoria or Emily and maybe Michelle for the middle name since it works with Michael. What are your thoughts on a name for our daughter."
"I like Makayla Victoria or Victoria Michelle. Which do you prefer?"
"Makayla Victoria Gilmore-Dugray it is. I like that I really do. Our daughter has a name. I wonder what she would have looked like another baby Tristan like Michael or more like me?"
"I think she would have looked like you a mini-Rory. No matter who she looked like she would have been beautiful. A daughter. So, now we need to discuss trying again. What are your thoughts?"
"I think we should but not right away. I want to plan the next time and make sure we do everything right."
"I agree but we can't wait for years so maybe next year we can start trying again. This time we will be prepared."
"I love you, Tristan. You are an amazing husband and father to our son. You always take care of me and make sure I have everything I need. I am starving, can you order me some food."
"What are you in the mood for? I want you to eat and get back to a healthy weight. You lost too much weight during this pregnancy."
"I know I haven't eaten anything other than crackers and tea for like three weeks. Chinese sounds really good."
"Then Chinese it is for my girl. I love you too, Ror, you are an amazing wife and a mother to our son. Mom and dad are bringing dinner let me order it and have them pick it up. I will be right back." He kissed her a soft sensual kiss and left the room.
Two days later:
Today they would bury their daughter. Her mom had picked a pink box about the size of a shoebox and a tiny vault. They had pink and white roses.
All the guys had sent them flowers and candy in the hospital. Lorelai had taken Michael home. She had bought him a suit to wear to his sister's funeral.
They dressed and walked out to the limo the guys had sent them. When they arrived at the funeral home they were asked if they would like to see the baby and they had chosen not to. They didn't want to remember her that way, they wanted to imagine what she would have looked like fully developed.
Her parents were there, Luke, Emily, Francine, Michael, and Diane. Finn, Robert, and Colin were waiting for them to arrive in the parking lot with Logan. Half of Stars Hollow had shown up to support them.
The funeral home had memorial cards made with the baby's ultrasound picture on them. During the service, they had chosen the songs to be played. Amazing Grace, Dancing in Heaven, and her mother sang I will always love you.
They buried their daughter in the spot they had chosen a spot under a shade tree with a bench right beside it. They had ordered a triple headstone the baby was placed at the top where the headstone would be placed right beside her. Finn had been the pallbearer and carried the box for them.
Six weeks later: Tristan's POV:
Rory hasn't been sleeping well. She wakes up crying and barely talks to Tristan. She has shut down.
I wake up because I hear Rory crying. "Rory, are you okay baby?"
"Yes, sorry I didn't mean to wake you."
Tristan sits up in bed and flips the light on. "Rory, I know you miss the baby and I know this loss has been hard on you but you have to move forward. The last few weeks you have barely slept, showered, or even paid any attention to our son."
"I know Tristan don't you think I know I am a mess? I am not a good wife or mother. We lost our baby and in return, you and Michael lost me as well. I just don't know how to stop the crying and how to get better. I want to but in every dream I have I see her. With your blonde hair and my blue eyes."
"Look baby, we are in this together. We agreed when we first lost her that we would get through this together. Meaning when you have these thoughts or dreams you need to talk to me. Maybe we need to go see a counselor."
"No, I am not going to go to some stranger and talk about my feelings. They don't know what we are going through. Only you and I know the loss of a child because we lost our child. You are the only one I can talk to about this. I am sorry I haven't talked to you. I am being selfish, I haven't even thought about how you are doing. I forget that you also lost a child. I am sorry."
"Hey, baby. Take a deep breath and you are not selfish. Yes, I lost a child too but you were the one that carried our baby. You were the one who had to go through the procedure and the pain of losing our baby. I sat there and was in mental pain but you dealt with the physical pains of losing our baby."
"I love you, Tristan. How are you doing? I mean really how are you doing with all of this?"
"I love you too, baby. I am doing okay. I mean I am heartbroken from losing our child and I will always remember our baby girl that we would have had but we have a son who still needs us and we will have another daughter. No matter what, I promise you I will give you ten kids if that's what it takes to give you a daughter. We will just start one right after the other. They will all be little stairsteps. The minute your six weeks are up we will make another baby."
"Um, hold on a minute. Did you think to ask me how many kids I am willing to carry? I can see that you would do anything to give me what I want. You would really do it too just to make sure I am happy."
"Baby, I would do anything for you. Your happiness is the only thing I care about that's why this has been so hard on me because I see how sad and depressed you are. No matter how hard it is we have to keep moving forward. Makayla would want us to do that."
Rory leaned over and kissed him. Her kisses became hungrier like when they would make love. It has been so long since they have made love.
"Um, baby you need to calm those kisses down otherwise you are going to get me going. It has been so long since you have kissed me like this."
"I am trying to get you going, Tristan. I want to make love to you. I need to make love to you."
"Are you sure you are ready?"
"Yes, now get over here and make love to your wife." She started stripping her clothes off as well as his.
An hour later they both lay there completely breathless and covered in sweat. Laying cuddled up together.
"I am sorry Tristan for the way I have been acting. As of right now, I am going to be back to the same woman you fell in love with and married. If I start to feel sad and depressed I will talk to you. That felt really amazing I mean really good. I love you so much."
"I love you too baby and yes it did feel really mind-blowing. Good, that is what I am here for we are a team and we can only get through this together."
He kissed her and they fell asleep peacefully that night. Rory had started her birth control shots again and they had decided when they would try for another baby.