How The Bad Became Beautiful

Part 38 Levi's At Mum's

Raya's POV:

To be perfectly honest, after the interview I did feel really crappy the next day, I rolled out of bed, grabbed my dressing gown to cover up my naked shoulders before walking over to my calendar and seeing what date it was "2nd of October" circled inside the box Levi's back from university today, "SHIT" I exclaim and start to get dressed the same old style, jeans, black vest top, my hair in a messy ponytail before I head downstairs, "bloody hell! you're up early today!" says Mollie "well Levi's back today" I say "I know he says he needs to see your parents today don't know why" says Mollie "I do which I'm not impressed with" I mutter under my breath "Raya is it to do with what I think it is?" says Mollie "honestly Auntie Mollie I'd rather him not have anything to do with them as they're cunts they're not parents they are biological people to me" I say I know it's wrong to judge them but when someone has blamed you for the reason Mummy and Daddy don't get on, the reason they've got screwed up lives and for all their wrongs what are you meant to do? As there is no forgive and forget not in mine and Levi's situation anyway.

"You'll always hold everything against them but don't hold anything against Levi because of it Raya," says Mollie "I know but you'd have thought Levi have a bit more up here," I say rolling my eyes and giving my temple a tap or two "yeah but you know what Levi's like Raya he feels like he owes your dad something and your mum too," says Mollie "he doesn't owe them anything they owed him a childhood that the lad never had and two parents who actually loved him not made him their maid for broken bottles and broken glass to be honest if there's a reason he's fucked up it's the two of them that's the problem, always has been, always will be, I don't even have it in me to blame no one else," I say as shake my head, the fire in my heart hotter than a summer in Spain, the anger brewing like a kettle before you pour out the hot, scalding water into your teacup, my eyes watering up from the anger, the sadness it all mixes into one and I never understand why I'm sad because all I think is why do those "parents" quote that "parents" not feel anything like me and Levi have.

Where's their guilt, their shame, their sadness, how did they not feel like failures but I do? Kind of fucking sick if you ask my opinion on the pair of them. I stare up at my auntie Mollie with great sadness in my eyes "I don't know Mollie but honestly I just don't get where Levi's coming from with the two of them but whatever it is I hope he doesn't regret it" I say shaking my head, "I hope the same Raya" says Mollie, "I'm picking Levi up this afternoon if you're wanting to come with me" "yeah can do" I say.

Levi's POV:

I get off the train at Ashtown Town Centre Railway Station, I take my small suitcase and let it trail behind me whilst I make my way down to the station's exit which was through the foyer-area of the train station, I made my way to Subway to get a footlong sub before I head to Mum's then Dad's and Sandra's thinking this could only go one of two ways as I know Raya is right and I don't doubt that for a minute but you have that small, tiny hope that things will go good just once.

I arrive at my Mum's flats, I press the bell for mums flat number 64A "hello?" says mum's voice on the speaker "hello it's Levi" I say "yeah come on up" says Mum's voice, I push the door which was now unlocked forward and head up the stairs to flat 64A, the place is a wreckage from the moment you walk up the welcome area, where you'll see everything from broken glass, to needles left by overly devoted heroin users that are all at the bottom of the flat, the second and third flats are the same beer bottles from previous nights, to old blood that is usually from some scumbag that must have had a drunken row or owed someone some money in exchange for drugs, the 4th and final block is my mums, I walk slowly up to her flat number trying not to make eye contact with the smackheads, crackheads, drunks and dealers who are looking at me as if to say "and who the fuck's this posh lad who's come to the flats" as Cranley Oakes Appartments is the area of scum I ring the door bell, I look up as I wait for the door to open, when the door opens Mums there "hi Levi didn't think you'd have come after that little bitch was filling your head" says Mum.

Now to be honest the way my mother slags Raya off is fucking disgusting she treats Raya as if Raya was the biggest mistake of her life which is disgusting and as much as I'll always stick up for Raya arguing your point against my mum is almost as if you're trying to swim through cornstarch you'll try your very best but eventually you'll only be in the same place, I walk in ignoring my mother's comment as that's the best way to win, "won't you take a seat lovely missed you" says Mum, I go over to this beige coloured chair and sit down Mum watches me "so how's uni been treating you?" Asks mum her hand softly on my shoulder "yeah going alright, just I needed some headspace as it's getting a bit stressful" I say "that's good want a cuppa?" Says mum going into the kitchen area "just a tea please mum milk no sugar" I say "anything for my perfect little prince" says mum, my face almost goes red like a tomato as I know that's her way of affection towards me that I missed during my childhood and sometimes I think it's due to her guilt that's laced from the way it went in that household, the way I was made a slave as addiction had gotten in the way of her maternal instincts, but to be fair we all made mistakes.
But then I start to notice something, something I wish I hadn't as she was making the tea I saw her skinny body start to shake almost I watched on, the next thing I knew she was slowly pacing the floor the same way I used to at home but this doesn't seem natural out of worry, as my mum walked over to grab her cigarettes from the table I hear this clicking noise, click, grind, click, grind the same sound round and round on loop, my eyebrows furrow this isn't right, I breathe in "mum?" I say "what's up?" Asked mum "is that clicking with the grinding noise you?" I say "oh Levi it's like that you know Raya does it in her sleep," says mum "not like that and how have you gotten so skinny you had more to you last time?" I say "been working out," says mum, immediately I sense a lie with both of the things she's said to me "why do I reckon your back on what I think you're on?" I say I'm angry and if she doesn't give a straight answer I'm gone "Levi I needed some pep so I went to my friend at the bottom of the flats and they gave me a fix" says mum I rise from my chair "of what?" I shout at her "nothing too shabby now sit down your tea's almost done" says mum my eyes grow wide in disbelief "of what has this so-called "friend" given you?!" I shout demanding straight-answers "just a few mini-pills," says mum "you mean amphetamine?" I say "Levi Bennett you watch your mouth!" Says mum "what because you don't want to admit this is all an act?!" I shout again, and yet again I get where Raya comes from but I'm the fool who seems to think leopards change their spots what bollocks "no act at all love" says Mum "well stick the tea I'm gone" I say and with that, I take my suitcase and make an exit through the door, that was embarrassing to say the most or the least it was vile not only was she lying to my face but she knew she couldn't cover it up, as Mum's been on drugs since dad and she broke up which is sad she lives in a bedsit, the only people that are even remotely close to her are the other drug and drink addicts in the other various flats.

As I make my way out I keep thinking to myself "dads can't go any worse can it?", so I rang a taxi to take me to Dad and Sandra's house hoping things will get better, but if one thing Raya definitely wasn't wrong about mum she'd never change, I sigh, taking a look up at mums flat and as I look at the shabby, grim, disgusting flat and the disgusting person who lived in a world of booze, drugs and her own lives inside the flat, I shake my head "one day you'll pay for what you've done" I say quietly before a little, white taxi comes through up the road "Taxi for Bennett" says the driver "yes that's me" I say as I put my suitcase on the back seat, shut the door before going into the passenger side, "what's the address?" Asks the taxi driver "71 Bucks Drive" I say the taxi driver puts in the address and starts the car, we drive to my dad's.