How The Bad Became Beautiful

Part 29

Raya's POV:

When we get to my room I leave my door open a crack, I grab my laptop and begin the dreaded job hunt, "so what am I looking for" I say to myself as I go onto jobs4you.com, I type in my interests so talking, care-giving, adults, helping the elderly and looking after special needs children, as soon as I have put those interests in, the link then takes me to another webpage "Jobs That Would Suit You" is the title of the page assistant carer for the elderly at Maryland's Residential Care Home, counsellor (wanted 4 days a week) now we're talking, "that's what I want to do" "what?" says Nathan, he comes over onto my bed and looks at the job I have my arrow key on "counsellor for 4 days a week" I say "yeah that sounds good where at?" says Nathan I click the link, an advertisement pops up "counsellors wanted for student jobs must be 20+ years old and have 2 qualifications in Health and Social Care, address 25 Bethan Road with Inside A Mind" "I'm going to go for it" I say "yeah I would" says Nathan, I scroll my arrow key over to the application form, click it and before you know it it's there in my downloads "I'll do that tonight when I get chance after you've gone home and what not" I say "yeah that's a good idea get it started straight away otherwise it'll be left there in your downloads" says Nathan "yeah, yeah" I say, the next thing myself and Nathan hear is the Skype ringtone the screen pops up with "Levi wants to Skype you" "fuck better answer it" I say before clicking the accept button "Levi!" "Alright man," says Nathan his hand a wave "hi Raya who's your friend?" says Levi "this is Nathan," I say "Nathan nice to meet you mate I'm Levi I'm Raya's brother," says Levi "same to you mate and I know she's told me a lot about you," says Nathan "yeah I've heard nothing about you," says Levi "best be good to Raya if not I'll be after you" Levi's cheeky smile and infectious laugh, Nathan laughs along "don't worry buddy she's in safe hands," says Nathan "well hopefully I can see you in a week when I come down from uni," says Levi "yeah I'll have to come through," says Nathan "gay boys pack it in" I laugh "so what you been doing Raya?" asks Levi "been job hunting," I say annoyed "oh right the cafe fired you?" says Levi "no, no it's nothing like that it's just there's probably something better for me it's a counselling job at Bethan Road and I want to try something that's in keeping with my actual dreams" I explain "yeah I mean what about Curtis though?" says Levi "he'll have to get used to it" I say bluntly "well I'm proud of you Raya" says Levi "yeah I've got the application form all ready in my documents so when I'm not doing anything later on tonight I'll get some of the application done" I say "yeah good, good" says Levi "yeah so are you working or at College or anything Nathan?" "I can't work due to mental illness but I do odd jobs and that," says Nathan "yeah that's alright then," says Levi "aye so what day you coming down next week?" asks Nathan "probably Thursday as that's the earliest I can get my assignment in before I have to go back on Monday evening," says Levi "miss Ashtown and the family" "yeah I get that," says Nathan "and something else which I can't really talk about as Raya might go off like there's no tomorrow," says Levi "why what is?" I question what the hell that's meant to mean, there's a pause, I look at Nathan, Nathan looks at me as if to say what the fuck is Levi going to say after a few moments of a pregnant, horrible pause then comes a sigh from Levi "I have to see dad and Mum as well" says Levi, he then turns his eyes away from the camera. Inside my head, I'm thinking what the actual fuck...

"Why the fuck do you have to see them?" I ask, my eyes wide with fear, anxiety and hatred of the pair of them "Mum's needing some money and she knows her family have washed their hands of her" says Levi "yeah because she's a crack whore" I say in complete disbelief "and Dad's not in a good way either" says Levi "oh right did Sandra cheat on him?" I say, sarcasm in my tone "Raya!" says Nathan "what? they're a pair of fucking clowns and I stopped having anything to do with dad after that shitty wedding day as well as the way he can poison a mind" I say "Raya listen I know you fucking hate them but they're still our parents" says Levi trying to calm me down "don't care if they're our parents or not toxic's toxic no other way about it" I say "I get that shouldn't have told you" says Levi "it's not that I just think you're better than that Levi" I say, I sigh, shake my head and then this comes out of my mouth "right I'm going to go and tell Mollie that I've found a new job so I'll talk to you another night" "Raya!" says Levi, but I hang up the call I can't believe him "they're fucking horrible the pair of them" I say "Dad turned me against mum and Mum ended up on crack and they're the reason I'm fucked up" I walk to the desk top and look out of the bay window in my room.

Nathan's POV:

I watch her as she solemnly takes herself to the window, watching her as she places her folded arms on the desktop in her bedroom says it all, I wonder what the fuck they did to Raya and why her solemn is the most heart-crunching thing I have seen in anyone for a long, long time other than when Julian nearly didn't end up having custody of Ruby, I get up and take a small walk over to Raya when I get there I place my hand on her shoulder and kiss the top of her head "what did they do to you?" I whisper I feel as if she wants to turn around and smack me one but she doesn't, she turns around and sighs "Dad had problems with mental illness which went untreated until he was in his early 30's, he and mum were at each other's throats for years, Levi, because he's older, could deal with it but it fucked him up, they played mind games with me and fucked me up, dad tried to take his own life when I was 4, they ended up getting addicted to things so there were things like lotto tickets in the bin, month old beer smells and a lot of broken glass" says Raya it comes out like an emotional waterfall "they'd abuse each other, Levi had to grow up very quickly, I had nobody except auntie Mollie and Willow there was no one else" "Raya I'm so sorry" I say "you can't change the past, you can shape a future but still what if that future repeats the past" says Raya what she's just said is so deep because sometimes old ways can't die "Raya I'll tell you this sometimes it's like no matter how bad it is the bombs will come and obliterate everything in it's path and sometimes there are things that just cannot be erased and what some people don't realise is sometimes the things you hold close to you chest is like a blade across your skin and that's the reality of the world and people in general" I tell her "but sometimes I think from Connor and my parents that no matter how much you love something or someone their toxicness can be the reason beautiful souls get drained, and soon the dams going to not hold back water much longer and it'll wipe out everything" says Raya, she looks up at the night sky and I'm sort of saddened but at the same time surprised by how deeply she thinks about things, life, people and the world in general "Raya?" I finally say "hmm" says Raya "I love how deep you are" I say "yeah it's a trait" says Raya, I check my phone in my jeans pocket, I read a message "Nate can you come mine please bro?" Julian "Raya I have to go," I say "yeah okay," says Raya "listen I've loved being here tonight and meeting your auntie Mollie," I tell Raya, Raya rises up from the desk "I've loved having you here," says Raya her eyes filled with tears, I take her face in my hand and wipe away a single tear "I've enjoyed all of today with you and I can't wait to see you again," I say "I have too babe," says Raya, my lips go to her forehead and then to her lips, my hand on the cleft in her chin "take care of yourself," I said before walking over to her bedroom door "you too" whispers Raya's voice, I open the door and let myself out.

Raya's POV (short):

I watch him go, before grabbing a small pillow, going back to the bay window and holding the pillow close to my chest as I hear Nathan saying see you later and thanking my auntie Mollie for dinner, I smile to myself before looking out of the bay window and seeing Nathan going to his car, I smile and give a small, subtle wave, Nathan, looks up to the window then reaches up his hand and waves back at me before getting in his car and driving away.