How The Bad Became Beautiful

Part 39 Levi At Dad's

Levi's POV: 

When the taxi gets to Bucks Drive I sit and look up at Sandra's lavished house pretty and perfect as always and I used to imagine life as a happy family the way Raya and I never did if anything we lived in the comfort of beer bottles, cigarette smoke and broken objects from TV remotes to ornaments which I used to have to pick up so Raya didn't get hurt, the bad memories flood back I remember everything so awfully, the screaming, shouting, swearing, the objects that would be thrown, the way Dad would sit there getting drunk or having a cigarette and telling mum to pretty much "fuck off" after an argument, the tears that fell down Mum's face, the images of me picking up the glass bottles of approximately 2-3 days old, the way if any were smashed I'd find shards and I'd keep them in a pocket, I then start to get images from when I was 11 years old sitting on the floor of my bedroom,  Raya crying as she couldn't sleep from their hate-filled words, to me in the bedroom next to her struggling what to tell Raya anymore as anything I could tell her it wasn't enough, I remember the way my eyes aligned with the shard as I ran it slowly over my forearm near to the elbow and the way it cut it hurt, it stung, it relieved so much pain to the point it became a sick addiction and every moment I could hear my dad belittle my mum, my mum belittling dad, the sound of a thud against the door which no one but a man could do that sounded worse than an atomic bomb exploding, images that make you not want to sleep at night, images that you want to forget but they're as permanent as a tattoo and as unforgettable as yesterday. "Excuse me mate," says the taxi driver almost muffled "excuse me mate" again I can't snap out one last try "excuse me mate," I snap out of my trance almost "what? sorry mate" I apologise "that'll be £9 please," says the taxi driver "oh sorry mate," I say apologising again I take a £10 note out of my wallet hand it to the driver and go to get my suitcase from the backseat, "Oh mate," says the taxi driver after I finish getting my suitcase out and shutting the back door of the car the taxi driver unwinds his window and hands me a pound, I take it "thank you mate," I say to the taxi driver, the taxi driver nods and drives off to his next journey, I watch as the car pulls away and make my way up the pathway.

I walk up and there's Lucas, my half brother, at 6 years old riding his scooter around the driveway Sandra's stood on the front doorstep with a cup of tea or coffee she has in her hands, "hi little man" I say as I give Lucas a little brotherly nookie, Lucas looks up from his scooter "Levi!" says Lucas happily that gleam in his eyes that I'm used to getting from Raya when she sees me, "how you doing buddy you good?" I ask "yeah," says Lucas "you alright Sandra," I ask Sandra just takes a glance up and down at me before going into the living room, to be fair Sandra is one of the weirdest women I know she can be alright one minute but it's like you say hello to her she'll look at you as if you've pissed outside on her plants but then again I think it's also due to she never liked Sally (our mother) so if she sees us she immediately eyes my dad as if to say we're the bain of hers and Dad's existence kind of annoying really as all Raya and I ever did was gave her chances Raya gave up after 3 attempts mainly the wedding, I tried to impress but eventually got nowhere but I still try but not for me for my dad even if I still hate him for everything he put me, Raya and Mum through I'd still give him a chance if anything the main reason I try is so I can see Lucas and Natalia, I don't think too much into it, I walk into the house slowly with Lucas holding my hand "your bloody sons here!" shouts Sandra, honestly the vendetta against me isn't understandable in the slightest, if this was Raya showing up at the door she's get a ton of abuse twice as bad as I get, Raya never liked Dad or Sandra and to be honest the best place for her is as far away from Dad's and Sandra's as she can get. 

I notice my dad eye-rolling "well let him in Sandra!" says Dad sat in front of the television watching rugby, he grunts "you're in luck he wants to see you" snaps Sandra and she goes to get a cigarette from the kitchen side, Lucas watches as Sandra storms her way into the kitchen shutting the door faster than Speedy Gonzales in a fit of rage "w...why" stutters Lucas I look at Lucas by my side and sigh "why does mummy be nasty to you Levi?" the poor kid looks confused, I bring myself down to his level, I sigh a little and shake my head "it's a little bit hard to explain to a 6-year-old child why his older brother and his stepmother don't get on as I don't know but don't worry this isn't anyone's fault me and your Mummy will one day discuss this as adults and hopefully I'll get to see you and Natalia and Dad most of the time when I'm not at away at school" I say "but your daddy's kid and Mummy should be nice to you" says Lucas confused, "aww mate if it was that easy me and your mummy would get on but we don't" I say Lucas looks at me still a little bit confused and concerned over what I'd told him "one you'll understand mate come on" I take Lucas's hand again and walk into the living room where my Dad is "hey up lad" says Dad "hi Dad" I say "come on in sit down" says Dad, I take a seat on the settee next to Lucas "so how's life dad?" I ask rubbing my hands "yeah good son" says Dad "good, good" I say "and your life at uni?" asks Dad almost as if to say just make this visit quick "yeah it's going good I'm working at a carehome as part of the curriculum so that's good" I tell Dad, Dad just grunts, eye-rolls, nods before putting his hand on his chin and touching the stubble on his chin, "oh right what do you work as?" says Dad trying minimal effort to make this conversation be over and done with in more than five minutes "it's like a nurse-assistent type of job so I help clients at this nursing home, make them cups of tea, help them go to the toilet, help them with their shopping and just chat with the old folks there and talk about things in life really" I explain to dad, "right" says Dad I watch him as he mumbles to himself "fucking sissy" I brush that comment off as it's just the way Raymond Bennett always has been and always will be no change like mum.