How The Bad Became Beautiful

Part 49 Back At Raya's

Raya's POV:

When Nathan and I got back to mine, I immediately headed upstairs to put these follows in a vase which Mollie had in her bedroom, this vase was regular-sized with a pattern of baby pink and silver diamantes around the rim of the vase, with swirly patterning to the glass, I take the vase and head back to my room.

When I get into my room I put the flowers in the vase and place them how I want the flowers to sit in the vase "perfectly done" I say to myself and then start to head downstairs.

The moment I am downstairs I move over to Nathan who is sat on the settee "should we put a film on?" I say "yeah let's do it," says Nathan, I grab the remote and put on Netflix "I don't fancy a romantic film like the Fault in Our Stars this time I'm thinking more along the lines of a comedy," I say "yeah," says Nathan we go through every film on Netflix until we find a comedy to watch. 

Just watching this film, laughing at all the funny parts, snuggled up on Nathan's chest, his arm draped around my shoulder just feels right, just every moment I spend in this bubble of happiness with Nathan is just moments that I hope will be the rest of my life forever and be the reason I'm not so alone anymore.

When the film has ended we ended up playing music on Youtube along with a few episodes of 13 Reasons Why I mean yes it portrays mental illness in the worst way possible as with Hannah's suicide storyline surely not all the things that happened in 13 Reasons Why could happen in real life:

Say for instance Tyler Down's episode where he stalks Hannah and Courtney, now I have to say for anyone who has been stalked yes it's awful but we do it to people as well and not everyone wants to take their own life because of it.

As well as Jessica and Courtney's episodes, Courtney stabs Hannah in the back making up a lesbian scandal story which I get its high school and I didn't have many friends at school either and I was targetted for bullying but in my opinion, it made me stronger in the long run but rumours happen and in high school and college those rumours feel like such a big thing but they are so tiny when you look back, yeah some girls have had their reputations tarnished because of rumours but if Hannah knew the truth that Courtney was talking a load of bullshit then why do kill yourself a rumour based off a stupid kiss and suddenly you don't want to live. 

As for the Jessica episode yes, Hannah, Jessica and Alex all went their separate ways it happens I've had that some you still contact but others you don't that's just the way of the world.

Alex's list another bullshit episode.

Just the way 13 Reasons Why portrays situations like bullying, rape, sexual assault and friendships is just so completely poor but it's one of those rewatchable series and speaks to a wide variety of people even if it is really messed up.

Although I know it sounds like I am writing a review of the overall series there is only one episode which I do think is done right in season 1 which gets me every time and that is:

Clay listening to his tape once the camera goes on Clay and you see him wearing the headphones and listening to Hannah's words breaks my heart "but Clay...Helmet... your name does not belong on this list but you need to be here if I'm going to tell my story because the truth is, is you're not like everybody else...you're different you're good and kind and decent and I didn't deserve to be with someone like you I would've ruined you and everything that has happened to me is because of me" and just my heart goes deep inside my chest breaking on every word, the next scene also kills me where Clay revisits the past and is in the bedroom with Hannah, Hannah telling him to get out, telling Clay that he doesn't want to be with her, he argues against her telling her "I'm not going not now not ever, I love you Hannah" to which Hannah says this infamous quote which hits my heart every single time "why didn't you say this to me when I was alive?" ouch.

I don't know what it is but topics such as, mental health, suicide and things that are extremely dark that get brought into a light appeal to me more than those happy-go-lucky films that focus on happy stuff I mean I'm one for chick flicks, so Notting Hill, Wild Child, Friends with Benefits but if you gave me something like Me Before You, The Fault in Our Stars they seem more reality base probably why I don't get things like Fifty Shades of Grey and The Hunger Games as they don't fit into a realistic world, but I do like the soundtracks surprisingly.

Nathan and I carry on watching a comedy show on the telly, Nathan checks his phone "it's 5.30 pm you hungry Raya?" asks Nathan "yeah babe" I say "right I'll phone up the local Chinese" says Nathan "what do you usually have?" "usually Mollie and I get a chow mein each I get chicken and she gets king prawn but what I usually get when I'm at Sophia's if we're having a girly night is salt and pepper chicken, with egg fried rice and a chow mein" I explain to Nathan "I'd go for what you and your mate have," says Nathan "yeah it's always nice the one we order from I think they call it The Little Panda," I say Nathan passes me his phone to find the place on his phone, I type in the name of the takeaway and click the phone number on the front when the notification comes on with the phone number "there you go Nate" I hand Nathan the phone back and he goes into the kitchen to phone in our order.

A few minutes later Nathan comes back out of the kitchen and whilst we wait for the door to be knocked or the doorbell to ring we put on some more music bit of everything that we like.

Eventually, the door has a knock and straight away Nathan gets up, gets the money from his wallet and goes to the door, after paying the delivery driver, I get up and go and get some plates from the kitchen when Nathan comes into the kitchen and we start to prepare our food for the night after all the food is dished out we sit together on the sofa and eat together with some more television.