The Fourth Notebook

15

November 5, 2014
Today I got a box of my belongings from my parents along with a "Wish You Were Here" postcard from them.
Wow. Wasn't that just nice.
I tore it up and threw it out the window. I love how paper flutters in the wind. Like butterflies with out their wings. Like maple leaves in the fall. Beautiful.
Inside the box was my iPod, my laptop, flannel pajamas, my toiletries, my favorite books, and some of my comfortable clothes.
I powered up my laptop and it opened up to "Finding Nemo".
I was watching it before I blacked out and apparently had a seizure. I don't remember any of it. I only remember Bruce saying, "fish are friends, not food" and then waking up in an ambulance.
I rewinded the movie and walked across the hallway to grab Cody. I wanted to watch the movie with him.
His door was closed, but it wasn't locked. I knocked twice. I waited. I knocked again. No answer. I gave one last knock and yelled out.
"Cody? Are you in there?"
I only heard the air conditioner whirring.
"Okay, Cody. I'm coming in!"
I walked in to find an empty room. Cody was nowhere to be found. His bed was made though. All the times I had come to his room, his bed was unmade with the plastic wrapped hospital pillow on the ground, so this was suspicious.
"Cody?" It was no use calling out for him. He plain wasn't here.
Where was he?
Then the fear and doubts started to set in.
Maybe he was lying yesterday.
Maybe he is out there doing..... what?
Something he shouldn't.
What if he is with other girls?
Wait. What?
Did I have feelings for him?
As more than friends?
I guess I should after he kissed me like that
I sat down on Cody's made bed and cupped my head in my hands when I heard a crunch underneath me.
I stood up and found a little note on his bed.
Hey Grace!
Come to the roof. I have a surprise for you!
Cody
I threw on my lime green converse and ran out the hallway. My very short and choppy brown hair doesn't really flow when I run anymore. I used to have really long hair almost as long as my arms. But, now it's super short. It bounced with every heavy step I took up the stairs. When I got to the very top I stopped and used the metal door as a mirror and made sure that my hair looked nice.
I pushed out on the heavy door and found Cody sitting on a hospital blanket with a pizza and two bottles of Dr.Pepper.
"You like Dr. Pepper right?" He asked.
I nodded my head and giggled, "What is this?"
"Lunch. Do you like it?"
"I love it!"
"Come on and sit, already!" He patted a spot on the blanket next to him.
I plopped down with an ouch next to him. He proceeded to place a slice of pizza on a paper plate for me.
"Your highness,"
"Why, thank you Sir Cody."
He laughed, it was the first time I had seen him laugh.
"So you do have a sense of humor."
We both started eating our pizza.
When we finished the tiny five slice pizza, I asked Cody the question on my mind.
"So why did you do this?"
"What?"
"Make a picnic."
"Because, Grace."
"Because what?"
"Because from the first moment I saw you, Grace, I knew. I knew that you were the person who I would love. I knew that you would be the person I would hold hands with. I knew that I was the only person who would be your shoulder to cry on, your rock, I knew that I would always stand by your side. Through thick and thin, Grace. So I brought you up here to ask you, will you stand by my side and be my girlfriend?"
I started to well up with tears as I nodded. I didn't know that he felt like that. Behind the "badass" hard shell, the signature beanie, and the drugs was a real person.
The person I wanted to spent the last of my days with. He didn't know that though, I couldn't leave him the dark. I needed to say it delicately.
He pulled me into another long passionate kiss. When I pulled out, the sun was hanging low in the horizon.
"Come on!" I pulled Cody to the edge of the building and held his hand.
"Do you like the sunset?" He asked.
"I love it. 84."
"What?" He asked.
"84," I replied nonchalantly.
"I heard you but 84 what?"
"Sunsets until- um."
"What? Tell me Grace."
Oh no, I thought, not the tears.
"84 sunsets until I die, Cody,"
"Die? W-what are you talking about Grace?"
"Cody, I can't stop loving you, but I also can't stop brain cancer. When I first got here, they told me I had about a hundred days left to live, today is eighty-five." I started crying and I buried my face in his chest.
"Grace?"
"Yeah?" I said between sobs.
"I don't care how many or how little days we have together. Every day I get with you, is worth a million days to me. And I will love you every day, every hour, every minute, and every second."
"I love you Cody."
"I love you too, Grace."
85- picnics