Under My Skin

Greater Love

"Kevin... Kevin, wake up.." Connor shook my shoulder gently, pulling me from my sleep

"Hm..?" I mumbled, my eyes still closed

"Kevin, wake up.."

"Go back to sleep, Connor.." I grumbled in my state of confusion

I'm not exactly at my best when I'm woken up. My meds sort of knock me out. They work to keep you asleep for about eight hours, so as one would imagine being woken only halfway through leaves you more than a little disoriented. I just rolled back over.

"Kevin, please.. please wake up.." he sniffled

"..are you crying?" I forced myself up through the drowsiness, clumsily reaching for the light, missing the switch in my first couple tries. As the room lit dimly, I could see the tears on his cheeks, begging to be wiped away "Connor, what's wrong?"

"I just.. I just wanted to see your face... I needed to hear your voice.." he took a heavy gulp, visibly trying to downplay whatever was troubling him. Despite his attempts to mask it, it was clear that it was weighing on him. Small troubles don't send you crying in the middle of the night.

"What happened..?"

His eyes were red with the irritation of tears, his cheeks splotchy. They always get like that when he cries. The tears lingered on his face, making my heart ache. Before he could even get an answer out, I pulled a tissue from the box on my nightstand. I may not be able to wipe his tears away with my hands or sleeve, the way he does for me, but I won't just let them remain on his cheeks like a symbol of his hurt. I will always find a way to dry his tears.

Placing on hand under his chin for precision, I dabbed the folded tissue against his cheeks, though hardly able to keep my own eyes open.

"What happened.. Man..?"

"It's... It's so embarrassing" he laughed slightly through his shame as I dried his tears.

"That's okay... I do embarrassing things all the time, you never let me feel bad.. if it's enough to make you cry, I'm sure it's important..."

"I... I had a nightmare, is all.."

"Well, I have a lot of experience with those... Thats not embarrassing, they can be really frightening.." I discarded the tissue, taking ahold of his hand

"Oh god, it was horrible.. just awful.." he sniffled

"What... What was it?" I spoke over a yawn in an attempt to conceal it. The boy's a wreck, I don't want him feeling badly for waking me up.

In all honesty, I feel like my eyes could fall shut at any moment. I'm not sure how much longer I can keep myself awake. But I'll fight it for as long as I have to. He needs me. End of story.

"You were hurt... badly.. fuck, it was just awful.."

"What happened..?"

"It doesn't matter.."

"It- It sure seems like it matters.."

"...You hurt yourself."

"Oh.."

"It was horrible.. and I know it shouldn't be a big deal, it was only a dream, but.. I've seen you like that before" he wiped his eyes "wanting to do something.. and it was just so realistic.. I needed to hear your voice.. I needed to know you were okay.."