Under My Skin

Firsts

Connor's hand traveled steadily up my leg, slowing as he got further up my thigh. We've never kissed this long before, not so intensely, not without stopping to cuddle or watch a movie. This was different, this was passionate. This was fervent, it was focused and precise. It was verging on hours.

For once, we were like a normal couple. He wasn't asking before every touch, I wasn't stopping to count the books in the room or recite space facts. I was just kissing him. And I was comfortable. He was on top of me, and I was comfortable - I wasn't afraid or upset. I felt comforted. I felt calm. Safe. 

And it felt good, the way he was touching me. I used to think that touch couldn't feel good, it would always be scary. But it's nice. It's nice, with him.
And it's not like he's taking my comfort and running with it, he checks in with me. He stops to ask how I'm doing if he touches me somewhere I'm not used to. He's gentle. And he's kind. It's nothing at all like I saw in that video, there's not a single ounce of aggression in him, no matter how intense the kissing may get. He put my comfort before his desires. He was cautious of my limits and worries. He looked out for me, he kept me grounded. And calm.

My own hands were getting just as explorative as his, I couldn't keep them still on his body.
I've found myself especially fond of the small of his back. It's like it was formed to the palm of my hand. I could feel his warmth through his shirt. I was almost tempted to reach under the shirt, feel his body for myself. And he seemed to be on the same page, his hand was completely under the front of my shirt. His hips continuously and unconsciously rolled against my front, making me giggle each time just so I didn't make any other noise.
It wasn't on purpose, maybe it wasn't even supposed to feel good. But it did.

For once, I wasn't afraid. For once, he wasn't overthinking every single move he made to keep me from freaking out. For once, we were a normal couple. Well, maybe not a normal couple. I'm still a freakishly tall, gay shut-in. Not quite normal. But we felt normal. We were kissing like a normal couple.

Does it feel this good when normal couples kiss? I never imagined it feeling this good.
Maybe it's just who I'm kissing. Maybe it's the way his lips taste, or the way his tongue massages mine, or the way he's grasping at my core. But it feels good.

You wouldn't expect him to be naturally good at being more dominant. I'm his first time in this role, but you wouldn't know it. It's like it's second nature to him. Or maybe I'm just really easy to please. Either way, it's nice.
I think he's forgotten about my.. problems. Just at this moment. And for the time, I did too. We were just two normal men sharing a night. I couldn't be happier. I'm not sure I've ever been happier.

Hands wrapped in my previously meticulously styled hair, his lips began to travel south, trailing down until he reached the dip where my neck met my chest. I couldn't help but voice a weak, pleasured whimper.

My immediate reaction was utter embarrassment. I've never done that before.

"I'm so sorry.." I whispered, bringing my hand over my mouth

"No.. that was cute.." he smirked, "..Do it again."

"I-I can't do it on purpose, I-" I cut myself off with another involuntary reaction, as he repeated his previous movement "oh wow"

Connor looked incredibly pleased with himself.

"...I love you, Beautiful" he smiled broadly again, pecking down another kiss on my neck, which quickly became just as enveloping as all the others

"..Beautiful?" I blushed

"You're so fucking gorgeous, Kevin."

"..you are." I corrected.