Under My Skin

Don't You Go

"You don't need to go so fast" Adelaide chimed in, multiple steps behind me in the instructions.

"I'm not going fast" I replied, speeding through

"Yes you are, you're going way too fast.. is something the matter?"

"Nothing's the matter. Why would anything be the matter?"

"Your brain is working at a mile a minute, here."

"A mile a minute isn't so fast. That's only 60 miles an hour. That's not that fast. Not on the highway."

"Well, you're not on the highway, you're in the kitchen. What's the matter?"

"Nothing's the matter." I fibbed

"You only do this when you're upset."

"Okay- well, we have to get this done, so we can't talk about it, anyway." I insisted, stirring the batter

"Just slow down. It can wait. I don't know why I have to tell you this, but your feelings are more important than zucchini bread.. can you talk to me?"

"I just- .... Steve's been talking to Connor again."

"Steve? Is he that jackass ex-boyfriend of his you told me about?"

"I didn't use those words.. but yes."

"Oh Hell no..."

"It's not.. it's not like that.."

"I've heard that before.."

"You don't think.. you don't think he's cheating on me, do you?"

"No.. not Connor. He's a good boy, I don't see him doing that.. but I'm not very happy about this."

"Me neither.. and it's not because I don't trust him or anything, I do, it's... Steve... I don't like him, not one bit.. he makes me nervous.. and he won't leave Connor alone, he's texting day and night... I'm frightened."

"Frightened?"

"I uh.. I know I didn't tell you a whole lot about him, but... he's not exactly a stable man... he's hurt Connor before, I'm not so sure he'd hesitate to do it again.."

"Like.. physically?"

I nodded

"Oh god.. that's horrible.."

"I know.. he's an absolute monster, I don't want him anywhere near us.. he did a lot of really bad things to Connor."

"Bad how..?"

"Bad."

"Did he hit him?"

"Yeah.. that's one of the tamer things he did.."

"Oh my.. what else?"

"I don't like to say it.. and it's not my place to, really..."

"I see.. well, don't feel like you need to tell me. I understand.. it's such a shame, he's such a nice boy.."

"He is.. he's a very nice boy... he's so patient with me. About everything. Everything I don't understand, everything I can't do or say.. he gets it.. I didn't think people like that existed.. other than you, of course.."

"It can be hard to find people who understand you, I know that well.. I'm glad you found each other.. I know I'm a little critical of him every now and then, but it's only because I want the best for you... he's been really good for you. I've never seen you as happy as when you're with him.. and you've come out of your shell, too. You've grown so much, you've improved.. you're getting better."