Chapter 47: Grief

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Raisa had thought she knew what grief was when her mother died. She had always described it as an emptiness. A void in her chest. She was, no doubt, sad when she lost her mom but it was the guilt that confused her state of grief.

It wasn't until Raisa watched Azriel die for the first time that she truly understood the feeling of grief. It wasn't numbness, it was like a tar that filled her insides. The feeling right before you vomit and it rises up through your chest, but instead of throwing up, the substance lingers.

Raisa would do anything to get rid of that tar in her insides. Whether it was throwing up, crying, screaming, or even feeling another form of pain to distract her from that tar.

She wished that grief was numbness. That would have been a blessing instead of the disgusting gunk that consumed her.

She lost count of how many times she had to watch Azriel die. Each time was a bit different. Caius stabbing him, setting him on fire, cutting his head off, draining him of blood. And each time she felt that grief and it wouldn't go away as she passed into another hell the mirror put her through.

Her grief soon became her only comfort. It was the only thing that was real.

Grief.

Grief.

Grief...

She wasn't sure if she could last much longer.


A/N: Hi guys, sorry for such a short chapter. I lost my dog (who I loved more than anything else in this world) to cancer a few days ago and it's been hitting me pretty hard. Next chapter will be longer, I promise, and I'll try to have it out by tonight or tomorrow. Just wanted to thank you all for reading this story and being so patient. All of your comments make me really happy and I honestly enjoy writing this story. Thank you all <3

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