To the Shadowsinger | Azriel

Chapter 6: His name

 Raisa was only fourteen years old when she thought she had love figured out. What else would she call the feeling when her heart slammed in her chest and her cheeks flushed a deep shade of red. It only happened when she saw Caius, a war hero, a high ranking General, and her betrothed.

It had been the council's decision to marry Caius to Raisa after the death of her mother. They didn't care that he was two hundred years older than her and she hadn't even had her first bleeding. All they cared about was his power, his charm, his ability to command a room.

Even Raisa had been charmed by him. Looking back, she would call herself a foolish little girl. Love had eventually turned into hate. The smile she had once called handsome made her insides twist with disgust. The voice that once made her toes curl now made her grind her teeth.

Her love had been so bright and filled with hope once upon a time. She used to plead to him for a kiss, a hug, any sort of touch, but he refused. He refused her until she came strutting into his bedchambers as a stark naked twenty-three year old.

"Have you forgotten about me?" She had whispered into his ear. "Have your whores kept you entertained all this time?"

She found out that the charming persona she had fallen in love with was a mask. Between the sheets, he turned into a sadist. Cruel, angry, unforgiving. He didn't care about what she wanted, it was all about him and his sick pleasures.

For perhaps a century, she was convinced it was still love. Even when he beat her, spit in her face, continued even as she begged him to stop, and said the cruelest things.

He never told her he loved her. She was only his wife, a shadow and the one meant to bare his children.

But the problem was: no matter how many times they tried, she couldn't get pregnant. And after three centuries of trying, her heart had turned to stone towards him. She didn't think about the consequences. She didn't think it was even possible.

That's where she was wrong.

"Stop!" She screamed as Caius kicked her again and again. Blood was everywhere. She couldn't move though, his powers paralyzed her. She was completely helpless. "Stop, please!"

He grabbed her by the face and yanked it close to his. His eyes were the darkest shade of black as he hissed, "You're lucky I can't kill you."

"Rai," she heard a softer voice. A deep gentle voice that made her feel safe. "Rai, it's a dream. It's okay."

Her eyes flickered open, but the world was a haze. She could barely make out a face surrounded by a swarm of darkness. In her heart, she knew she was safe though. The thought brought a soft smile to her lips and she searched until her hand found his hand. It was rough, covered in calluses and scars, but she didn't mind. Running her thumb over the grooves on his hand brought her comfort.

"Are you feeling better?" The deep voice asked. She wished she could hear him sing, knowing he would have the most relaxing voice.

Every part of her hurt and ached. She felt clammy and sticky but the worst part was the throbbing of her arm. It hurt less than she vaguely remembered at least. She hadn't forgotten that creature that sank its tooth into her arm and filled her with venom. Probably would never forget.

Her mouth felt like sandpaper as she opened it. She was so thirsty but thankful as she felt a glass press to her bottom lip. She could barely see the one with the deep voice gently lifting the water up.

"Why are you helping me?" She asked after swallowing. Her voice came out raspy.

"Should I have left you to die?" He asked back and set the water down.

She realized she was still holding his other hand. She rolled over and snuggled his hand into her cheek, it was so warm and big.

"Thank you," she whispered, her eyes drifting shut.

"Who are you?"

She wasn't thinking clearly, that's why she placed a gentle kiss to his knuckles. It was his scent, she was convinced, that made her do it. She liked it, wished she could bathe in it. "Rai. I'm Rai. Who are you?" She blinked until she could see him more clearly. It was still too dark, but she recognized the shadowsinger. His pretty face was too hard to forget. She craved to learn his name.

"My name is Azriel."

Azriel. "Azriel," the name brought a soft smile to her lips. "Azriel."

"Where are you from?"

His question passed through her mind in a haze. All she could think about was his hand in hers and his name repeating over and over in her mind. It was such a pretty name, one she had never heard before. Maybe it was her favorite name, one she would hope to name a child.

"Rai," he poked her nose, bringing her back to her senses.

"Hmm?" She hummed and kissed his rough knuckles again.

His soft laugh warmed her. "Where are you from? Why are you here?"

She tried remembering through the fog of her mind, "I got bit by something in the forest, you saved me."

"Why are you here in the Night Court?"

She couldn't remember. A creature made of nightmares came to her mind. Azriel came to her mind with his hazel eyes and dark wings. And finally, a mirror. In it, she didn't see a reflection of herself. She saw her husband with his sinister smile.

"Ouroboros."