To the Shadowsinger | Azriel

Chapter 12: My anger

 Azriel followed Rai in silence as she walked out of the city, swinging the bottle of wine, until she made it to the rocky shore of the Sidra and sat so that her feet almost touched the water.

"I've never told anyone," a shadow carried her voice into his ear. He felt like she was talking to herself and he was merely a bystander. "I've bottled up my hatred and anger for hundreds of years in fear of what my husband would do to me if he found out I told anyone." Her face was shadowed as she looked at him over her shoulder. The world felt still as he approached her and sat by her side, ready to listen. "But I'm tired of being silent and you don't seem like the type to run your mouth."

He watched her with patient eyes.

She took a deep breath and looked up at the sky. Beautiful, Azriel thought. He found himself spreading his wing to protect her from the cold wind and waiting for her to continue when she was ready. He wasn't asking or listening for intel against her or because she was a potential enemy, he genuinely wished to understand her for some odd reason.

He was the master of secrets. Hers would be safe with him.

"My husband is not only very violent but his line of magic deals with constriction, contracts, and wards. He can create invisible threads that wrap around and choke the life out of anyone. His magic is incredibly hard to break, once it gets around you, it squeezes and crushes so hard I've seen it rip off limbs and heads. He would use this power on me at times when he disapproved of my behavior." She rubbed the wrist of the hand she had placed over her stomach. "Clearly, I still have all my limbs but..." she took a painful breath.

Azriel almost wanted her to stop talking. His heart was slamming in his chest and he grinded his teeth uncomfortably, but he clung to her every word like he was on the edge of a cliff. He had to know.

"We went a while without seeing each other and I got lonely." She shivered, "I also did it out of spite, my husband was sleeping around so why couldn't I? I didn't even think he would find out and he didn't. Not until," she paused as a heartbreaking sadness took over her face. She rolled her eyes as they filled with tears and she tried to wipe them away before Azriel could see.

He wanted to tell her it was okay to stop, but he couldn't find his voice.

"I thought I was barren," she let out a sad laugh, one that mocked herself. "I didn't get far along into my pregnancy until my husband found out and ended it. He crushed me so hard I thought my organs had burst." She grasped the fabric of her shirt and tugged it down, "My healer said I miscarried from internal bleeding. And after I healed, my husband kept me chained up until he felt ready to trust me."

He could barely hear her over the ringing in his ears. His face went slack as he stared at her unblinking. Rage stormed inside him, every inch of him screamed to fly to Vallahan and murder the king. He would do it gladly.

He couldn't stand the anger and sadness that had quickly consumed him. He wasn't one to cry, he was one to feel pain in silence. This felt so differently, holding someone else's sadness was a different kind of pain. His own pain was bearable, familiar, but he would go to war for hers. He didn't give a shit if Rhys said no, he was killing that fucking piece of shit king.

"Being here, though, it's easy to detach myself from that life." His rage calmed a bit as she gave him a soft smile, "Please don't share my anger. It's too bitter and pathetic for a handsome face like you to bear... I just wanted you to understand why I'm going against my own monarchy and finally telling someone feels nice."

"I understand," his voice broke. He couldn't rid his face of sadness despite it.

Rai nudged him with her shoulder, "I'm okay now. I have a plan and in a few years, the son of a bitch will be long forgotten."

A few years wasn't good enough for Azriel, he wanted the bastard obliterated that very second. He stood up, needing to move, stretch his wings and legs, or else he would lose his slipping calm.

"Who gives a shit about the damned mirror, let's go kill him now and get it over with," he pressed his fist into the rough bark of a tree and took slow breaths.

"I give a shit about the damned mirror. And while killing Caius would grant me immediate satisfaction, the counsel would know it was me and have my head." Azriel was shocked she had raised her voice. He didn't mean to make her mad. "The whole counsel has to go and when used right, the Ouroboros could take out a whole army."

At that, Azriel slowly turned to look at her. Take out a whole army, that was something he nor his superiors knew. And a secret he could not keep from his High Lord.