Taming Your Heart

Fifty-four

Lorine's Pov:

She came out of the dressing room, looking breathtakingly beautiful. Even though her face looks pale, as she's not well these days, but still she's beautiful. The assistants started helping her to get matching jewellary and other things. I couldn't believe my eyes. She's Renne, dressed in a wedding dress, who once thought she wouldn't get married. Ever. But now, she's gonna marry my brother. Which is another surprise. My brother said, he wants to get married...but his face told otherwise. He's doing this out of pity out of all the insecurities. He's afraid of loosing her now that Ryan is out there.

Four years ago, i was about to get married to his brother. Samuel Brown, the talk of the town, the handsome british hunk. But i let that happiness slip out of my fingers, because of my stupidity. I still regret. I left him miserable, and he ended up dead. But i didn't know that, untill i met Renne a few months ago in the bar.

The whole time, i was thinking he cheated on me and is living a happy life with that bitch Amelia, he was dead. My daughter,....our daughter, is living here with his sister like an orphan. I know Renne did a really good job in upbringing her, and it was best for Hera to be with her.

But now i feel the emptiness in my heart, she's so near yet so far. I cannot hug her, like a mother, and tell her how much i love her. That she means the world to me. But its not that easy i was the one who left her behind like a piece of trash, i never even thought about her once back in those years.

But when Lucas told me the same day about Hera, when Renne told me her brother is dead...it was too much to handle. I decided that I'll tell Renne everything happened, but Lucas didn't let me. He made me promise that i keep the secret to myself, and he'll tell her when the time came. The very next day, i took the flight back to London, without meeting Renne.

Its hard to live, i tried to kill myself. So many times. But i couldn't...I'm not that brave. Then my mother found out, and put me in a therapy, without telling my father and brother. There i met Marcus for the first time. He's also a participant of the group therapy. He is now fully recovered, and helps other to fight their battle of deperession. We clicked the very first moment we met, we're friends now. Later i found out he's Cathy's brother.

But I'm still having those suicidal thoughts. People say, those who kill themselves are coward..but in reality....it takes so much of bravery, to do that.

I know life is hard, and quitting is so damn easy....but there is nothing wrong to choose easy.

If anyone to blame, its the mindset of the society. They made living so damn hard that now, everyone is fighting for titles and desire winning.

Those who fail are loosers. In Business, in love, in marriage, in friendships, relationships and so many more...they are only competitions nowadays.

Everyone wants to win, nobody wants to loose. Nobody says...its okay to quit, to end to loose. That failure is not a bad word....its the other title you got. Maybe it would help, and make the failure acceptable. That failure is also a part of life.

I never thought a person like Sam would ever do that. But he did. I still wish i could go back into the past, and do the right thing needed, but i can't, no one can.

Maybe he's out there, in the sky looking at her sister dressed in a wedding gown and her daughter dressed in a white color frock. With a beautiful flower crown on her head.

"I want to look pretty too" Hera pouts.

" But you already pretty. You are beautiful, Hera.." i said, caressing her cheeks.

"Not as much as Renne!... I want to marry too, i want the same gown." she huffed, and crossed her arms over her chest.

"When you grow up, you'll be the most beautiful bride I'll ever know. But now, you'll be the most beautiful flower girl...ok" i chuckled, and she smiled.