Wonderful | wicked | book 2/3

Nessa

"I've never seen Shiz so empty!" Glinda exclaims excitedly.
She's come back with me for today, I practically begged someone to come with me, I just had to get away from Albert.
He volunteered to come back with me but luckily Glinda caught onto my queues and realised that I didn't want to be with him.
"Glinda, can we talk seriously for a minute," I mumble, feeling stupid already, Glinda nods and I beckon for her to follow me into the lounge.
She sits on the sofa in front of me and I begin.
"I feel awful, I know he's her dad but I just can't seem to get on with him, he's got this obsession with trying to get me to talk about my feelings and I don't want that!" I feel myself starting to get angry, just thinking about it is making me feel bad.
Glinda smiles softly,
"You don't have to like him, but one way or another he's here to stay."
I understand what he's saying but I just don't want to get to know him, I don't want him to get to know me.
"Glinda Elphaba showed him my baby pictures,"
Glinda looks puzzled,
"What's wrong with that?"
I turn myself around towards a chest of draws that's nearby, I open it up and pull out a few pictures from inside, they are all of me as an almost newborn.
My legs are red and tangled.
Hideous.
I have so many photos, I'm not sure where they're coming from at this point, in a way I'm glad that father keep so many because I have so much to look back on but then there's so much to be ashamed of.
I thrust the photos into Glindas hands.
"Look at me," I whisper, tears pricking my eyes. "No doctor could fix me, I was such a let down."
I was more than a let down, I took Melena from Frex, the woman of his dreams, Elphabas mother.
I know Elphaba has tried to convince me that the milk flower did that but I know i hadn't come out wrong then she would still be here.

"Nessa there's nothing wrong here," Glinda says sympathetically, "you were a child,"
"They gave me all the medicine in Oz and it slaughtered my immune system, every winter I'd catch a cold and be left to fend for myself in bed, not allowed to mix with other children."
I start to cry, it can't be helped, large tears stream down my cheeks and I stare emptily at my hands, that are unfortunately placed upon my legs.
My stupid, stupid legs.
"Nessa, but what does any of this have to do with Albert?" Glinda asks faintly.
"Because he's so kind and nice, I know that he wasn't but he changed, my father never did, he tries so hard to make me open up about things that I'm so ashamed of."
Glinda drops the photos onto the sofa and crouches down in front of me, she takes me hands in hers.
"Ness, there's nothing wrong with being ashamed of things." She says frantically, trying desperately not to cry herself.
"Glinda I died, I died and I thought I could start again and then we came back and so did the memories!" I cry out loudly.
Glinda looks around for a few seconds before she makes a sudden jolt forwards.
She wrapped her arms tightly around my waist and snuggles into my chest, I hold her closely and the two of us sob for what seems like an eternity.

I let go after a while and scrub ferociously at my eyes, no one speaks, though there is plenty to say.
Glinda keeps her hands holding mine, I'm silently grateful for it, I'm glad that she hasn't let go.
"Glinda." I mumble after a few minutes, she looks up at the sound of her name, "I wasn't trying to be horrible," I whisper "when I refused to come back, I was just scared that I'd ruin everything for her and that she'd waste her time trying to look after me."
Glinda smiles and stands up, walking over and taking a seat back onto the sofa, I follow slowly behind and stay in front of her.
"Nessa, Elphaba is always going to worry about you, it's in her DNA." Glinda whispers softly, her face suddenly drops to being sad again, "is that why you wanted me to come with you today?"
"No, not at all!" I splutter "you always seem to know what to do and I need that kind of order in my life," I reply defeatedly.

Glinda looks beside her on the sofa and picks up the photo next again, reminding me of how rude I was to Elphaba and Albert earlier, she opens it up gently and takes out some pictures.
She keeps some in her hands and gives the others to me, a variety of different ages, one picture of when I got my first wheelchair.
I look so exited and I was, I finally thought that I could do everything.
Others of various other less pivotal points in my life, some have Elphaba in, other with father and a few of them I was fortunate enough to be allowed a picture without someone hovering beside me to make sure I was okay.
"When I look at these I don't see someone who's weak," Glinda says forcefully "I see a happy child who was, much like her sister, a victim of circumstance. I see someone who's going to try and make do with what she's got because what she's got is a school that she is completely capable of running herself and that's the truth." Glinda finishes.
I beam from ear to ear, unable to stop the copious amount of joy on my face.
"Thank you for that Glinda, I really needed to hear that." I look down at the pictures and smile at the little girl that I'm  still so ashamed of.
Though it won't last, it feels good to not hate myself for a short while.
"Glinda, I think I should go back to Munchkin Land for the rest of the week, then Elphabas foot should be better."
I say nodding to no one in particular.
I look away from the photos, scared that looking at them for too long will change my current opinion of my former self.
And right now I feel happy.