Wonderful | wicked | book 2/3

Nessa

This book clearly doesn't want to be found.
Even though Glinda and I are trying so hard, it's nowhere.
"Nessa, I'm so sorry that you had to find out about it that way" Glinda says, apologising again.
I have all theses different feelings that I don't want bubbling up inside me, I'm not going to let another thing make me upset.
"Glinda I get it, I did something terrible so that Boc would love me and you did something terrible for Fiyero to Love you"
I say calmly.
I hate myself for what I did to Boc, for how I let my hope of being loved by someone blind me from the fact that He clearly wasn't interested.
I'm not going to let Glinda go through the same.

Glinda and I have practically been through every downstairs room in this house.
Fiyeros in the lounge and Elphie and Boc are searching upstairs.
I hope we find it first.
"Is this it?" I hear Glinda ask whimsically, I whip my head around immediately.
I recognise that book straight away.
"That's not it" I say suddenly, tearing the book from her hands.
I clasp it tightly to my chest.
"Well what is it then?" Glinda asks impatiently.
"It's...its..." I don't want to say because then she will want to open it "it has all the pictures from when I was younger"
I say solemnly.
Glindas eyes widen excitedly.
"Oh please can I see" she begs, "we don't have to tell anyone else that we have found this"
I finally give in.

We sit on a large seat behind us and I open the book, I wince as the first page is of me as a baby, my legs are red and repulsive.
Glinda respectfully doesn't say a word.
"Sorry, it's gross I know, legs put it away" I say frantically, scared what Glinda will think.
"Nessa you don't have to be ashamed of you you are"
Were
I'm not her anymore, I can walk now.
The only thing that kept people around me, I don't have anymore.
I turn the page, I'm still fairly young on the next picture.
Elphie is holding me, wonder in her eyes, there's a book in one hand and me sat on her leg and being cradled in the other.
"Oh Nessa, this is beautiful" Glinda says, gesturing towards the book.
I agree, it is beautiful, Elphie was so good to me.
"Can I see another?" Glinda asks starring in awe at the page "and then we can get back to finding the spell book"
I nod politely and turn the page again.
The picture is of when I first got a wheelchair.
I think I'm around five years old, the look on my face!
I'm so exited, I thought I was going to be perfectly fine after I'd gotten it.
Little did I know how much I'd grow to loathe that thing.
"You were so cute" Glinda says childishly.
I close the book suddenly, it's the only thing I can do to stop tears from spilling down my face.
"Let's get back to looking for the spell book" I say hurriedly, throwing the photo album onto the seat and reassume the search.

I rummage different draws scattering the contents across the cold wooden floor.
"This is impossible!" I cry out in frustration.
I don't see why she couldn't just tell us where to find it.
Perhaps there's not really another spell book at all and this is just a cruel trick.
Glinda wraps an arm around me she smiles lovingly.
"We will find it, I promise" she says kindly "I won't stop searching until we do."
I feel slightly more hopeful now, at least I have a great search party.
I sound like such a child, I really haven't grown up as much as Elphaba but that doesn't mean that I'm not as smart as she is.
What am I talking about, I'm never going to be as smart as Elphaba, I look up to her so much and she doesn't even realise it.

"Ness, we should check in a different room, we've turned this one inside out" Glinda says, her hands on her hips starting at the mountain of objects we have left on the floor during our search.
I nod, and we go down the hallway into my fathers old study.
"Let's see what other embarrassing things from my childhood we can dig up whilst we are in here."  I mutter sarcastically.
Glinda smiles sweetly and begins to look behind a bookcase.
"Perhaps we will find some of Elphies baby pictures" she chuckles.
I laugh too, but I know that father burned any and all photos of Elphie that weren't in our room.
I remember him doing it.
It was just after Elphaba had gone to see the wizard and I had returned home from shiz, father was furious when he found out about Elphies spell casting.
He grabbed all pictures he could find and burned them in front of me, I cried but father didn't see.
Then after he had burnt them he went on and on about how much of a problem she had been and about how he knew she had been evil and wicked since she was born.
During the next week fathers health declined.
I can remember it like it was yesterday...

"Nessa?" Glinda says, stopping my mind from spiralling out into darkness "are you alright, why have you stopped?"
I force an empty hollow smile and Glinda grins back and continues the search.
I know I thought this before but I really do mean it this time.
This is hopeless.
There's no way that we are ever going to find this book.
I sigh loudly.
Glinda turns around and looks at me, like I've just said something hilariously funny.
"You can't give up yet, we haven't even been looking for the whole day!" She says sweetly,
I roll my eyes,
"We are never going to find it!" I whine.
"Don't say that..." Glinda says sweetly
"But it's true, we are going to turn the whole house upside down before we find it!" I cry.
I stamp my foot foolishly,
When suddenly I feel myself fall.
I've broken the floorboard.
I peer down and see the top half of a brown leathery book.
I pull it out and blow a thick cloud of dust off of it, Glindas eyes widen.
There's big bold Wrighting on the front.
HALEN.