Wonderful | wicked | book 2/3

Elphie

(This chapter takes place during the last one)

I wake up, no idea what time is is but the room seems darker, I throw myself out of bed and peer out of the curtains.
Darkness encapsulates the streets outside.
I've never really thought about how strange it is to be back, this place that showed me so much hatred has almost just accepted me back into its arms.
Though I believe somewhat unwillingly.
I tip toe into the hallway and go back into my childhood room.
Hoping not to experience another strange dream.

I look around cautiously, I've been somewhat protective of this room, it feels like its not supposed to be altered or disturbed, a part of me will always be in here and I'm sure Nessa would have a similar statement.
I wonder which one of us spent the most time In here.
It feels odd thinking back to behind a kid, I was so naive to the world and truly believed I could just get by, by looking after my sister.
I still believe that now, all I want is for Nessarose to come home, I know it sounds awfully selfish and she's so happy working at Shiz, but I need that validation that I'm doing something right.
I suppose that stems from father never giving me any to begin with.
I've always felt like a lacked praise as a child, Nessa was the opposite, always given praise despite her performance.
But that didn't really work out in her favour as she doesn't know what to when she fails.
Oh god I feel like crying.

"Elphaba?" Someone whispers.
I turn around suddenly, and see Boc trembling In the doorway.
He steps into the room cautiously and closes the door behind him, running a finger down the edge of the doorframe so it didn't make a loud sound when it shut.
"Boc what time is it?" I query, sitting down on the floor.
I'm not sure why I sat on the floor but I'm just so tired and don't want to sit on Nessas bed because I feel that, that's hers and not mine.
Boc joins me shortly.
"Around midnight," he whispers, "what are you doing awake?"
I take a moment to ponder my answe.
What am I doing awake?
"Can't sleep, you?"
"Neither" Boc looks around at the room, almost like he's expecting there to be more to it.
"Nessa spoke about this room so strangely,"
Boc says talking his fingers against the hard wooden floor, "she hated being alone In here"
Boc mumbles on and I try not to listen, I really don't want to think about the time Nessa spent as governor.

Boc suddenly lies down on the floor, staring up at the peeling painting above Nessas bed.
I think about joining him, but think better of it.
"She doesn't believe me but I really did love dancing with her"
I can't listen to this, I don't want to hear about my sisters pain.
I can't do it.
"Boc, we don't have to talk about her just because were in here." I say suddenly.
There's silence for a while after I say that.
Long awkward silence, the type of silence that has a thousand words but yet you don't hear any of them.
"Boc" I say quietly, ashamed of what I'm about to say next "I'm scared"
Boc sits up and looks at me.
"Why?"
"Because that nasty old woman's out there somewhere and I don't know where, and I can't tell anyone that I'm frightened because they will think less of me," I says almost on the brink of tears.
Boc doesn't speak but I know he's listening.
"My entire life my emotions have been put aside so that Nessa has had room for hers and now I can express them how I want I don't know how," I shudder, I hope Boc didn't get the wrong idea from that.

I stare down at my hands, my horrid green hands.
The reason we are all in this mess, the reason for everything.
I've learned to accept the way my skin appears because it's permanent but I know that not everyone shares my disposition.
"Elphaba, I'm not good with things like this, I'm awful at expressing my feelings that's why I let her suffer for so long" Boc says, avoiding saying Nessas name.
I miss her so much.
Boc stands up and looks around the room, he opens the wardrobe and takes a deep look inside the closes it, he does the same with all the drawers.
I feel a bit irked but I don't mention it.
I just sit back and watch Bocs investigations continue.
"Who's are the dolls?" Boc whispers harshly from the corner of the room.
"Nessas" I chuckle, "she practically bathed in dolls."
Boc smiles and rummages through a few more draws.
"This is quite the collection, I'm sure every little girl was so jealous of them" Boc says, grinning.
I sigh,
"Nessa never shared her dolls, she stopped playing with them after she dropped her favourite one down the stairs,"
Boc looks puzzled,
"That doesn't seem like a reason to stop playing with them, did it break?"
I get up and walk over, peering curiously into the drawer.
"The doll didn't, but Nessa did when she fell down the stairs trying to retrieve it."
Boc winces and looks over towards the closed door, perhaps forgetting that he had closed it.
"The next morning we found out she had broken her arm, she was miserable"
"Understandable..."

Suddenly our conversation gets cut short, a pound ringing sound fills the house.
My magic bell.
I dash downstairs to retrieve it, I send Boc to go and collect the Grimmere for me.
We meet up in the lounge where Glinda and Fiyero are, they both look awful, I'm assuming the bell had just woken them from a deep sleep.
"Why did I make that so loud?" Glinda mumbles, her eyes barley open.
But I don't have time for idol chat, my sister needs me.