Wonderful | wicked | book 2/3

Elphie

Boc came back.
He came back last night, but I was asleep, I'm yet to talk to him.
I know that Nessa slept at Shiz, I put her to bed myself and left her to be woken up by one of Dr Dillamonds assistants.
It feels wrong just leaving her, but she insisted.
I finally slept upstairs for once, in a real bed.
No idea where Glinda slept, she probably didn't, I know that her and Fiyero stayed up taking to Boc.
I've promised myself that I won't shout at him.
I'm glad I didn't say this promise out loud so that no one can call me up on it.

I get ready to go downstairs and greet him, I take out the lace strip that I tied my hair up with and allow it to cascade down my shoulders and back.
Next I put on a simple navy dress, similar to my Shiz uniform.
But throw one has pockets and long sleeves.
It's not really anything like my Shiz uniform, the only similarity being the colour.
I don't think Nessa has any spare clothes with her, not that she'd let anyone change her outfit anyways.
I always had it in my head that when we came back to Oz she would always be with me.
Now I'm sure that she's going to take up the position, it's like a piece of me has gone with her.
I don't really know what to do with myself, I still worry about her.
Constantly.
But there's nothing I can do about it, I've promised to only come and see her if she rings the bell or if it's, in her own words; an issue of upmost importance.
I laughed slightly when she said that, she sounded so prim and proper.
I wish we hadn't have gone to Shiz, but I wouldn't dare tell anyone that.
As far as they are aware, I'm perfectly happy with this new arrangement.
I'm not going to be when Dr Dillamonds assistant starts putting Nessa to bed too.

I look at myself in the mirror, making sure I don't look too scruffy.
I'd say I look passible, besides being green.
I make my way down the stairs, into the lounge.
Glinda is no where to be seen, Fiyero and Boc are sat down on the sofa talking.
Fiyero glances in my direction and hops off the sofa.
"I'll let you two talk in private" he says calmly and walks out of room.
I scurry over to the sofa and sit down.
"Before you ask" Boc says suddenly "Glinda is out talking with the Munchkins"
I nod,
I was going to ask that, I just wasn't going to ask him.
"Boc where were you?" I ask more concerned than anything.
"I had to leave" he says, twiddling his thumbs awkwardly "after Madame Morrible revealed the horrible things I'd said, Nessa still gave up everything"
Boc sighs deeply, I blink away some tears.
"I couldn't stand to be around her, it made me feel so awful"
I put my arm on the back of the sofa and lean my head against it, my stringy hair tickling the palm of my hand.
"And so you left us all in suspense," I say flatly, I'm trying not to be angry but it's really hard.
"Look I'm sorry" Boc says hurriedly "I didn't want her to hate herself every time she looked at me"
Boc peers around awkwardly,
"Is she here? I need to apologise"
I have to think this through.
If Nessa sees Boc, how will she react.
Will she still take the job?
I can't jeopardise her opportunity, I have to keep Boc a secret from her.
"She's at Shiz." I say bluntly,
Boc looks confused,
"At Shiz?"
"Dr Dillamond offered her a job, she's acting as principal" I say slowly.
Boc looks at me excitedly, his eyes glimmer wildly,
"Can we go and see her, I really have to..."
I hold up my hand and stop him from taking.
"No, you can't" I splutter, immediately regretting telling him no. "It will just make her sad, your going to have to wait"
Boc nods sadly,
"I understand, I'm so sorry" he says solemnly "I'll wait, I'll do anything just to apologise."

For once I am the bad guy, I'm keeping someone who honestly wants to apologise from my sister.
I want to lie and say that she will be sad when she sees him but I know that I'm just doing this for selfish reasons.
I want her to enjoy this job, I really do.
But I also want her here with me, where she belongs.
She needs me.
She's always needed me.
And when she needed me most I left her, I'm not letting Boc go back and hurt her again.
I can't.
I won't.

"Elphaba, what's wrong?" Boc asks suddenly.
I shake my head and meet his gaze.
I'm not completely focused on what's going on.
"Have I upset you by coming back?" Boc says, his tone is sad and mournful.
I would just tell him to leave, if I didn't feel so guilty about not allowing him to see Nessa.
"Of course not" I lie "I'm just a bit tired," my words are blatantly untrue.
Though I am tired, I'm always tired.
"Does Nessa hate me?" Boc asks bluntly,
He doesn't give me any time to respond.
"I would, I'm not surprised that I'm not allowed to see her, I just want her to be happy," Boc looks tearful.
I think about it from his point of view, we've all made him feel like the villain when he's really not.
None of us are completely innocent.
"Boc, I don't blame you for running away, I don't know what happened between you and Nessa but I know that she's done some very bad things,"
Boc shakes his head.
"But she gave up everything..."
I put a hand on Bocs shoulder,
"She's my sister, I care about her so much but that doesn't change the fact that she kept you prisoner."
Boc stands up abruptly.
"Elphaba why are you saying this? I have no ill will towards her anymore, what are you gaining from this?"
Boc sounds disgusted with me, he marches out of the lounge.
I hear his angry footsteps parading up the stairs.

Why did I say that?
Was it because I felt bad for pinning everything on Boc.
Or was it because I wanted to put him off of wanting to see Nessa.
Either way it was selfish.
But I'm doing this for a good reason, I have to keep Nessa safe,
Keep her happy.
I just want to be a kid again.