PROS
-Its unique, I haven't come across a similar book on Wattpad yet so that is definitely a pro. I like the fantasy-ness of it all and the empire, empress and staff that surrounds her. You've created distinct and memorable characters.
-Very action filled, I found the second chapter particularly interesting! It's definitely a strong suit for you as a writer. The dialogue and the insults were very creative, it was a very enjoyable chapter so kudos.
- You're dialogue does sound like royalty and an empress would speak, which I found very interesting. It takes a lot to get that type of speaking down and you did it wonderfully!
CONS
-Punctuation, look, I'm going to be completely honest with you here. Your punctuation needs a lot of work, you need to put periods at the end of your sentences. Even when characters are speaking, It does not matter, you need punctuation.
-Tenses, your tenses don't stop changing. In one paragraph you're speaking in present and the next in past tense. You need to keep this consistent!
-Dialogue tags, you need to start clarifying who's speaking. You have quite the bit of back and forth which can get confusing for the reader.
OVERALL
-It was interesting but I found myself skimming some parts due to the lack of proper grammar, you definitely do need to check that out. I suggest joining a mentoring program or hiring a beta reader or editor. However, it does have quite the bit of potential and I know with a bit of polishing you'll have no problem getting higher interaction and reads.
YOU ARE READING
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