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A Game of Hate @__carino__

Reviewer- cwang1

Pros:

I like all the questions that you asked a reader in the blurb. These are really deep and good questions, and I think that they would really draw a reader in.

I really liked your descriptions and dialogue. Your descriptions, especially of someone's feelings and their physical state, are quite detailed and realistic. Your dialogue, additionally, provides a lot of information regarding the plot and scene.

Your dialogue is definitely one of your strong points; it's not boring and is quite lifelike.

I really liked how, after reading more chapters, I could really "feel" the characters. You painted a lot of background and emotion into them, making it more lifelike and relatable.

As I will talk about below, just try to establish these bonds as soon as possible, so that your reader is not utterly confused.

Cons:

I think that, for your cover, you should try to make the title stand out more. Right now, it's quite crowded, with a lot of graphics and small text, so I would recommend deleting some stuff and making the others pop more.

For the dialogue at the beginning, you put a semicolon (;) after the speech. This is not needed. Instead, the correct format would be to do something like "'hatred destroys one,' he remarked," except with double quotes instead of single quotes on the inside.

I noticed that you used a lot of ellipsis (...) in your writing. I would recommend using a bit less of these, and perhaps using other punctuation marks to provide variety to your writing.

I think that it would be better if you established all the background characters more in the beginning. I wish to know more about their personalities and backgrounds. What kind of person is Amanda? How is she connected to Elly?

In your writing, you used capitalization to emphasize a lot of things. You would often put a word in all caps, for emphasis, I presume. I would recommend not using a lot of this, as it's not very formal and can be quite annoying to a reader if you use too much of it. Instead, consider using italics or bolding your text. 

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