Stars Review Shop

Damn These Boys! @illustris1xox

Reviewer- cwang1
Pros:

- I really liked how neat your cover is. If the font is too messy, the title can be unreadable, but that is certainly not the case with yours! I really love your cover!

- I really liked how you included an excerpt of your story in the blurb. This gives your readers a taste of your story, and would definitely draw some potential readers in.

- I thought that your dialogue was quite lifelike and realistic, along with your story. It also helps move the plot forward and provide character traits to each character.

- Overall, I really liked the plot and concept of your story. It's quite unique, and unlike any other story I've seen before. The way you wrote really made the characters come to life, and the story was quite realistic. 

Cons:

-I would recommend varying up your sentence structure, and making your sentences smoother. For example, taking the sentence "she is the definition of impulsive" from your blurb, you could perhaps combine it with her sentence before, sayin "A twenty-year-old college student, who's the definition of impulsive," or something like that to make it flow smoother.

- I found a few grammar/wording mistakes within your writing, so I would recommend going back and editing it. There were some times when you used a word that didn't really fit the context. For example, once, you said "...that parents would never agree of..." In reality, this should be "agree to," since you don't really agree "of" something.

- I would recommend using more complex diction, or wording, in your writing, especially in scenes that could really be elaborated on. This really helps stick the scene into the reader's mind.

- I felt that the pace of the story, especially the first chapter, was a little fast. While I get that you really want to get over the exposition, that part is quite important to establish the characters. You really want your readers to get to know and connect to the characters before the big conflict.

-I thought that Scarlet's change of mindset happened a bit too fast. Perhaps her friend could tell her to try to get revenge, or something like that. As it is right now, it feels a little too fast paced.