Sarcasm-Five Hargreeves x Reader (The Umbrella Academy)

Chapter 42

Five scratched at his bloody nails as him and Y/N stood in in alleyway, waiting for the Handler. Five was thinking of the lives he took, hoping that it would be worth it since the smell of blood that wasn't his made him nauseous. Especially since it was right on him.

"Five, are you alright? Want anything to eat or you're good with that candy bar?"

"I'm fine."

"You aren't."

"I am."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"Yes."

"No."

"Got you there," Y/N smiled, Five groaning at his mistake.

"I'm telling the truth."

"Then why are you lying to me?"

"I just said I'm telling the truth."

"Then why don't I believe it," Y/N asked, crossing her arms.

Five sighed. "I guess, I just want this whole thing to go right. I told you back in 2019, I never liked the killing. And now, I had to do it again."

Y/N clicked her tongue. "At least we know we're doing it for a better cause."

"If the apocalypse was the good cause, I don't know what the Handler is going to do to it. There's a reason she had us hijack that meeting, and it's because she wants to take over the Comission again."

Y/N furrowed her eyes brows and opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by the familiar zap, which was then followed by the clanking of heels against concrete. They turned around to see the Handler standing behind them.

"Well," she asked.

Five clenched his jaw and handed the Handler AJ, who was now in a small plastic bag filled with dirty water.

The Handler gasped in astonishment and happiness as she saw her former employer in the bag.

"AJ," she smiled, taking the bag from Five and placing her briefcase down.

The Handler started to cackle like the witch she was, bring the bag up to her face and sighing.

"You know, you're really starting to fill out those tight little shorts of yours," she said in a high pitcher voice.

"Why are you looking at his shorts," Y/N muttered, a disturbed look across her face.

The Handler ignored her as always and looked back to the bag and at a silent Five.

"Why so quiet," she asked with a tight smile. "Thought you'd be buzzing after this morning's slaughter."

"All this killing...I'm done with it," Five said.

"What," the woman asked, taking something out of her magenta coat. "Am I supposed to take that seriously."

She held a while handkerchief and licked it, going to clean Five's face but Y/N stopped her and pulled a Kleenex out of her pocket to give instead. "That's nasty."

The Handler rolled her eyes.

"What I did today, I did for my family. I did it to save the world," Five said, using a he Kleenex to clean his face.

"Please. Spare me your little assassin with the heart of good routine, will you?"

"No. Just give us the briefcase, please," Y/N said, standing in front of Five and holding her hands out.