Sarcasm-Five Hargreeves x Reader (The Umbrella Academy)

Chapter 58- Beginning of season 3

The Sparrow Academy.

Also known to the Umbrella Academy as the strangers who were dressed in maroon uniforms similar to their own and standing upon the balcony with intimidating yet puzzled looks.

"These are the Sparrows. My children," Reginald said, replying to Diego's alarming response to their arrival.

"I'm sorry. What do you mean, your children? That's not possible, old man," Five questioned, moving forward to catch his attention.

"Of course it is! I think I'd know wouldn't I?"

Y/N blinked, her eyes still locked on Ben's figure before she nudged Klaus, wondering if his thoughts were the same.

"You can see Ben too, right," he asked.

"Yup."

"It's not just me?"

"Nope."

Ben furrowed his brows at their conversation, before making a snarky remark regarding Klaus's hat, which of course, the cult leader took as a compliment.

"They call themselves the Umbrella Academy, a group of scheming, perfidious malcontents who accosted me in the fall of 1963 when I was away on business in Dallas. Be warned, they claim to be my spawn," Reginald said, keeping a low glare particularly on Luther and Five.

"Claim? Look, Five, what the hell is going on?"

"I don't know yet, but it's concerning."

Y/N pursed her lips at the comment, knowing that not knowing was certainly not going to do them any good. But more so, Reginald still remembered them, even if it was as a group of the FBI's most wanted in 1963 instead of his children.

"Is he telling the truth," Luther asked.

"Not the part about us being perfidious."

"Mostly about the part where we're malcontents," Y/N sighed. "Because we're already complaining."

"We're not complaining, we're obtaining, at best."

"Obtaining what?"

"Oh I don't know, our house?"

"Yes! Because we are his children, and this is our house," Vanya piped in, earning a series of questioning looks from the Sparrows.

"Yeah..yeah, we grew up here," Luther stuttered.

"Yeah, we grew up here," the man with a disfigured face mocked. He and the woman next to him began to snicker childishly.

"I kind of think we would have noticed you," a sparrow said smartly.

Y/N rolled her eyes as the two of them began to snicker even more, clutching their stomachs as if there wasn't anything more amusing than their embarrassment.

"Hi. I'm Luther," the dumb ape stepped forward, offering a hand.

"Okay, none of you belong here," Allison stepped in, right in Luther's line of vision between himself and the only reasonable looking Sparrow.

"Oh! Well, then. I guess we'll just pack our bags and move out," the lady with the dark glasses said, holding a nasty sneer.

The glowing box that floated over their heads began to buzz, and whatever it said was quite amusing apparently because the Sparrows began to laugh.

"What is that," Y/N asked, pointing at the buzzing box. "We don't have one of those."

"Like I have any idea," Five scoffed.

Suddenly, a more friendly familiar face walked in, holding a platter of warm chocolate chip cookies that gave them all a nostalgic feeling of their life before their latest adventure.