Sarcasm-Five Hargreeves x Reader (The Umbrella Academy)

Chapter 8

"So, we're gonna torment poor Lance for nothing now," Y/N asked as she looked out the window.

"Not for nothing. I know he's hiding something and he's choosing not to tell us."

Five made a turn and almost smashed into a mailbox.

"Oh my god! Dude, you said you knew how to do everything," Y/N exclaimed, rubbing her head.

"Sorry," Five mumbled. "There wasn't traffic in the apocalypse."

Suddenly, Five came to a stop at the building, staring at a man in a lab coat with a cup of coffee in his hands. Lance.

"There's our man," Five said, leaning forward to get a better look.

Y/N nodded and shifted in her seat, scooting away from the large green bag that laid in between her and Five at the tight space in the front seat.

"Are you trying to suffocate your girlfriend, Five," Y/N asked.

"Oh, shit!"

Five unzipped the bag and placed Delores in a sitting position.

"No, I'm not drunk. I'm working. Yes, it's about the eye thing. This is the place it was made," he said after a few moments of silence.

Y/N held back a scoff at Five and his talking will dolls as she watched Lance open the door to the prosthetics building and enter, going out of sight from both Five and Y/N.

This was going to take a while.

~~~

A few hours had passed by, Five and Y/N were still sitting in the car, waiting for the company's office hours to go by.

Y/N was taking a nap, laying her head on the door of the car as her steady breaths made their way to Five's ears.

Five, who was staring at the company door for the past four hours, glancing over to Y/N's sleeping figure with a smirk.

She probably didn't have her guard up when she was asleep, especially after the long night at Gimble Brothers.

Taking a marker out of his pocket, Five snickered softly to himself as he popped off the lid and leaned across the seat to look over Y/N.

"Delores, should I go with the Italian style, or the French? Nah, scratch that, they're almost the same. What do you mean I shouldn't torment her?"

Five looked over to the mannequin with a questioning brow raised.

"Right, Whatever. I'm doing it anyways. She won't notice until she looks in the mirror."

Placing the marker right above her lips and right below her nose, Five drew two connecting, swirly lines to represent a mustache. An overly dramatic one.

She looked ridiculous!

Smirking at his work, Five sat back into his seat, digging the marker into his pocket as he leaned back in satisfaction.

A few minutes passed by and the laughter of kids filled his ears and Five watched as three of them kicked a ball to the each other as they walked down the street.

Five stared at them before looking back at Delores and Y/N, but they weren't there.

Five looked around, confused, and opened the door to get out of the car but he stumbled back as he remembered what he saw.

The apocalypse. The scattered fires, collapsed buildings, and the zero population.

"No," Five said, holding his head as he stumbled back over a brick. "No, no, no, no, no!"