Wish you were gay||Billie Eilish

if you come, then I'll know we're okay and we'll get through this

Billie's POV

Y/n and I still haven't talked. She keeps leaving my messages on read and it's killing me. Every time I go over there, I make it to the door and just stand there. I really wanna knock but I'm scared I'll just get shut down immediately. I know she needs the space, and I'm gonna give it to her to show her that I'll wait. I don't know how long I can wait though because tour is starting back up soon and I really want her with me.

"Billie" my mom called

"Yea?" I asked

"Come here" she said

"Coming" I replied

I walked to the kitchen where my mom was and saw finneas sitting with her

"What's going on?" I asked

"We just wanted to talk" Finneas said

"About?" I asked

"Tour" he said

"Oh okay" I said

Truth is, I was really excited to go back on tour. This break is just what I needed to get pumped again

"Billie?" My mom asked

"Hm?" I hummed

"Did you hear us?" She asked

"No, sorry what" I said

"We said we that we know you and y/n are in a fight, but is she coming with us. We kinda need to to know" Finneas said

"I don't know" I said

"Well can you figure it out because we leave the day after tomorrow" my mom said

"Can you ask fin?" I asked

"No. You ask. She's your girlfriend" he said

Fuck

"Okay" was all I could say

Finneas gave me a small smile, I assume because he sensed the uncomfortableness in my voice

"Is that all?" I asked

"Yea" my mom said

With that, I went back to my room and shut the door. I started to think how to ask y/n because I can't just go over there. She'll slam the door in my face.

I went on Instagram for a few in hopes to forget about it until later. It didn't work clearly. I stumbled my way to y/n's page. It was filled with pictures of us. I smiled to myself looking through them.

Fuck it

I went to my contacts and hovered over her name. Once I built up the courage, I clicked call. She sent me straight to voicemail

"Hey it's y/n, you know that though because you called me. sorry I missed your call. Leave a message I'll try and call back if I feel like it" her voicemail said

I smiled to myself because I was right next to her when she made that voicemail. You could even hear me laughing in the background

*beep*

"Hey y/n, I know you're mad at me and I'm so incredibly sorry, but tour is starting soon and I really need you there with me. I need you to come, please" I said as my voice broke

I took a deep breath in

"I understand if you don't want to come, but if you come, then I'll know we're okay and we'll get through this. I love you with everything" I finished

I ended the call and wiped the tears that were threatening to fall from my eyes.

"She'll come. I know she'll come" I said to myself

I really didn't know if she would come. I'm just trying to convince myself so that way I stay hyped for tour

Y/N POV

I stepped out of the shower wrapped in a towel. I walk over to the closet to find some comfy clothes since I'm not going anywhere today.

As I'm looking through my closet. My phone starts to ring. I walk over to it to check the caller ID

"Bil" I read to myself

I was debating on answering it.

"Stand your ground" I told myself

I declined the call and sent her to voicemail. I went back to my left to continue looking for clothes. While I was getting dressed, I got a notification which meant I got a voicemail since I have certain ping set for voicemails. I automatically knew it was Billie. I finished buttoning my pants and then walked to grab my phone. I entered my pin in order hear the voicemail.

"Hey y/n, I know you're mad at me and I'm so incredibly sorry, but tour is starting soon and I really need you there with me. I need you to come, please. I understand if you want to come, but if you come, then I'll know we're okay and we'll get through this. I love you with everything" she spoke. I let the voicemail play all the way through. Her voice started to crack towards the end which absolutely broke my heart.

I didn't know that tour was starting up this soon. Of course I'm still going. This will give me and Billie a chance to fix everything and work through things. I was taken out of my thought by a knock at my door

"Yea?" I asked

"Can I come in?" My mom asked

"Yea" I said

She came in and walked over the me

"Billie dropped these off" she said handing me flowers while sitting on my bed

"They're pretty" I smiled

"She's really trying" she said

"I know" I said

"Maggie said tour is starting again. Are you gonna go?" She asked

"I think I am" I said

"You should. She needs you and you need her. You two just had a miler disagreement" she said

"Yea. I'm gonna go" I said

"Well, you should pack so you don't have to do it later" she said

I pulled my already packed suitcase from under my bed and showed

"Wow you're already prepared?" She asked

"Yea" I smiled

"Okay, well are you gonna talk to billie?" She asked

"Not until we leave for tour. I think it'll best" I said

"Okay" she smiled as she got up from my bed

"Love you mom" I said

"Love you too hun" she smiled before waking out and closing my door

"I'm going" I said to myself

I set my suitcase in the corner on my room and walked over the vase on my bedside table. I put threw old dead flowers I had in there wash and put the ones Billie got me in there with fresh water.

I sighed and walked over to my bed and laid down on it.