Is it true that different poles attract? Could a superstar fall in love with a normal girl that is unfortunately called men-magnet as they all fall for her making competition hard? What if this innocent face hides a lot that you can't imagine? FALL...
I never understood the meaning of love but one time in my life and I lost her. We went to the same University, she was so damn beautiful, she was slim, tall, with blue eyes with a darker outer line that made you melt in them just like those of Wist -
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This wist of a girl I never get, and never know what I feel for her; She makes me excited, eager to dig into her and discover the real her. Why do I talk about her while talking about the love of my life? But let's not skip the point, I met her and she was so feisty, difficult to deal with, well-mannered, innocent and with angelic shape.
I was a good person back then, I started talking to her asking her about our sessions, questions in our educational subjects, then we started hanging out, getting to know each other, I loved every detail about her: her hair, her smile, her walk, her manner of talking, her shy personality until all my life changed: that Angel I thought she was turned out to be a demon.
She was a total whore who knew all the boys in our university. I loved her so much in a crazy way that I thought that I would face my parents to marry her even if she was poor; I never cared. So, I decided that I won't fall for any women because they mostly don't deserve it. They deserve being hurt like the way I was hurt. I was back then not perfectly handsome, I mean I wasn't in a good shape, I was a little fat...maybe not a little! And my hair was so messy and I never cared about my looks, maybe that's why she never liked me in that way, she saw me as a silly friend, so that's what a girl wants a hot man right? Okay then they got it.
I started going to a diet doctor and to the gym and became irresistible with my perfect muscles and shape; I became the devil himself! I started my game of breaking each girl searching for my looks because she won't get them alone; she'll get the sicko with them, the heartless man that grew inside of me and won't die certainly because no girl gets to change him!
She falls for me and then bye-bye, comes the next prey, and about the previous one, at first, she feels I'm distant for job problems or personal ones but realised the meaning of this attitudes and gets jaded as always... you know? I never felt any joy while playing, and never have I felt like I have had my revenge! I feel more jaded because I am like that, and I know for sure that in this way, I won't find a life; I won't get married or in any sort of love relationships but am I like that even living? I am ruined by this girl? She kill me!
Wist and her sisters were weird cases, I don't know anything personal about them but whenever we met: Wist was polite, shy, interesting, had a wise, witty and energetic look. She seemed innocent but maybe this is all faking, I won't fall for that!
There was always something about her that I liked: her smile, her intelligence, her kindness, her perseverance fighting her tough disease, her way of making you amazed, the way she seemed uninterested when I was around, her hidden smile when she tried to play it cool and her disgusted look of my dogs. I loved a lot about her. When I learned she went out with my brother, I was so jealous that I talked to him and scolded him as if he was disobeying to mom's orders, while I was just splitting them up before she loves him and it would be too late... Wait for what? Too late for what? What do I feel for her?
When I saw her the first time she was young: she was so cute, with round puffy cheeks, an amazing smile and dimples, her eyes were so beautiful that you get lost in them; I never stop looking at them. Her body was fit and perfect in every meaning. When she grew she became more beautiful that I never took my eyes off her. She was with medium height, taller than intellia and she had a bit of a Brazilian form: tanned skin, with red lips, even their bodies that are tonic and elastic.
I would never do what mom told us and hurt her if I ever got her, she is too good for me, I would never leave her to Loncent or hurt her as my mom's plans. Maybe I truly have something for her?? I never trust women and I know they're not worth being trusted. I am sure she's certainly complicated and hard with guys just because of all her life and stuff like that but that doesn't mean I would trust her; I don't know if I trust anyone, that's why I try to get into their pants to get to know their personality then I know they're not worth the change, but am I worth a good girl?
I crashed other girls' hearts? I did every vice you would think of. I fear dying alone after all that I have done, will that be my end?
I really want to know my end? Will I live a fairy tale someday? I never felt I had an incentive to live to the next day but the feeling I wasn't ready to face was facing God with my screwed life. Life was the same boring, and typical. I never enjoyed my life with all the money, cars, properties I had and the girls falling for me so easily, they were neglected because I always felt empty, lost, and alone. ALONE was my main problem when I was a kid, I am insecure! My parents know nothing about me, I mean nothing to them and they even like Loncent more as the good kid, the kind-hearted, the workaholic, and the responsible one.
Talking about my family, this never was a family, my mom was never interested in our lives, our piety, our devotion to God, our educational issues, our boys and men issues, she was in her world silent, always sad but never in action, occupied with our grandma and our apartment issues only. Even dad was always occupied in his work, we were hardly together, even when we were, no one asked about the other, when I found out about the devastating story of the woman I loved, my worship became less each day, till I began drinking, going out with a lot of girls, not respecting them, and taking pot after knowing some bad people.
My mom and my dad never cared because I was a guy and in Egypt, the society never blamed a guy for his manners or vices but criticised, insulted and even kill a girl if anyone said any scandalous thing about a girl. Some people after killing their children found out these were only rumours. After a lot, I stopped drinking because I had cardiovascular issues. I never knew how people change, but I changed to a total badass! Will I ever return to the real me? The good one. Will I find someone to love that is worth it?
